


Virgin River

by Willbakefordean



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: ABO dynamics, ABO dynamics but no betas and light on the agression of abo, Bartender Steve, Both Bucky and Steve rock the Infinity War looks tho, F/M, Kidfic, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg Eventually, Mutual Pining, Pure distraction from my incredibly difficult job is my goal, Slow Burn, Virgin River netflix series is the basis, a lot of these tags take place later in the story, brock rumlow isn't as bad as usual starts out good ends up not so great, emotional hurt comfort, first Stucky writing ever, first chapter is pretty close but then I'll run with it, honestly only abo to explain men having babies, hurt comfort, new to the fandom as a writer...be kind, no reference to the movies other than I pull characters from Civil War, nurse/midwife Bucky, pure unadulterated eventual domestic bliss, some infertility issues, stucky au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:48:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 115,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25361167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willbakefordean/pseuds/Willbakefordean
Summary: Bucky takes a job in a quaint little town in Vermont to escape a tragic past, only to land, unintentionally, with a group of people who could help him build a future.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Past Bucky Barnes/Brock Rumlow - Relationship
Comments: 493
Kudos: 245





	1. Not So Sweet Escape

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, I have not written anything in quite some time, like well over a year. I am in need of a distraction, terribly. I am late to the Stucky party and have been reading shit tons of fics. I also binge a lot of Netflix etc., and after i made it through the entirety of the Great British Bake off once again, I stumbled upon a Netflix series called Virgin River. Apparently it is based on novels. It is a cheesy little almost Hallmarky little show based in northern California. As I was watching, the premise of a fic came into my mind. I write Zimbits and used to write Destiel. Yes I am that old! So I was surprised when the bartender morphed into Steve with a beard in flannel and the character with the tragic past developed dark length locks tied up at times in a manbun. I am from the east coast so I simply moved LA to Brooklyn for Bucky and the northern California rustic country setting to rural Vermont. 
> 
> This fic will earn its E rating. I just want people to know where it will go from the start. I am going to set the story up pretty closely to the first episode of the show as an anchor, but then I tend to get carried away quite easily. Characters tend to take over my mind and run...I hope you enjoy. If you do not, its fine, just find something else you like better. I do not work with a beta other than making my daughter suffer and read it first. If you want to gently point out an error, I do not mind. However, I come here to relax and have fun. My job is a stress pit and I just want to have some fun. I always answer all of my comments, so feel free to leave your thoughts.

The sleek green vintage convertible Fiat was made for traveling. City traffic stifled her. He had enjoyed opening her up on the highways out of Brooklyn and even now as it grew darker and the trees began to close in on the road, she still purred like a kitten. She seemed to blend right into the cool darkness. There was something freeing about the change in scenery despite the fact that it was only a little short of 6 hours from where everything had gone so terribly wrong.

Bucky shook his head to clear the creeping sadness. He had not put off any scent but eager excitement since the trip had begun and he was going to keep it that way. He was tired of his own sad omega scent. Hell everyone around him had to be, though they never dared to say it. Becca, ever the protective alpha and older sister, had tried to convince him not to go. Still the evidence spoke for itself when he smelled her relief, however temporary, when she found out he’d taken the job.

Vermont, with its low stone walls and lush colorful foliage, held the promise of a fresh start, a chance to forget the past and control his own future. It was a gift to himself that subconsciously he questioned if he deserved. Sometimes he even questioned it outright. Nonetheless, he had taken the opportunity and run with it. He had denied it to Becca, but she was right, he was running from something, and not to anything in particular.

Bright lights from a vehicle behind him hitting his rear view mirror startled him just as the image of Brock appeared in the seat next to him. Bucky could almost see the exhaustion, smell the scent of disdain for Bucky’s desperation. He had hardly noticed the rain begin to fall and the lack of anything around him but trees and soft muddy shoulders on the sides of the road.

In that flash of headlights, Buck got confused, lost track of the road and found himself spinning in his little green car as the large truck full of logs roared past. He felt the car coming to a stop, and waited for the inevitable sickening crunch of the crash. It never came but Bucky felt his head hit the wheel as the car reached its final destination.

He lifted his head, felt where it hurt and came back with fingers clean so it couldn’t have been that hard a hit. He remembered a time when he was not that lucky, when an alpha at the ER had knocked him into a wall, splitting his eye above his brow. Bucky may have been an omega, but he was lean and muscular. He was capable of handling anything that came his way in the ER, but it had been his first day.

Brock had been the doctor who checked his cut and made sure he was okay.

_“Some first day, huh?” Brock had said. Bucky was too busy noticing how handsome and gentle Brock was to hear much._

_“It was my fault, I went in without the chart. I wasn’t prepared,” Bucky had replied._

_Brock had admonished him in a friendly tone. “Lesson number one...never go in without a chart. You’ll end up-”_

_“Flat on my ass. I know, I know. I should have known better. Won’t do it again.” Bucky had interrupted. He smelled protective sweetness roll off the alpha as he applied the butterfly to Bucky’s head. It was the beginning of what Bucky thought was the rest of his life._

Bucky was startled again, this time by a knock to his window and a grumpy face. It pulled him quickly to the present. Bucky assessed the situation as he watched the man motion and shout for him to roll his window down. Early middle age, maybe forty, little grey around the ears, lean but not hugely muscular, Bucky could take him if needed. Slowly he rolled down the window and the cranky muffled voice got clearer.

“You’re gonna have to get out of the car. It’s in the ditch.”

“What?” Bucky asked, still a little fuzzy from the commotion of the crash.

The guy got more annoyed sounding and slowed his speech in a condescending manner. “You’re car. It’s in the ditch. You’re not going to get it out of there with just you and me.”

Motioning for the man to back up, Bucky carefully got out of the car to check out the situation. He was right, Bucky’s car was in the ditch. Damn, but at least it did not look damaged, just stuck in the mud of the soft shoulder. Bucky reached into his pocket for his phone and began to dial with no luck. On top of that it was beginning to rain.

The man scoffed at his attempt. “You’re not gonna get service out here. We have to drive into town and hope Scott can pull your fancy car out before next week.”

“Next week?” Bucky was horrified at the thought of leaving his car here with all his possessions in the back seat and trunk. He was even more concerned about climbing into the old beater of a truck with this guy in baggy clothes and weird grandpa hat. Though from the few sniffs he had taken he gathered the guy was an alpha, he didn't smell dangerous or aggressive at the moment, more frustrated. Still, Bucky needed to be careful. Unmated omegas could be taken advantage of if they weren’t careful. He had no idea who lived in Virgin River and he was going to keep his guard up.

He stood for a few minutes, in the drizzle, puzzling over what to do before reaching in the window and grabbing his backpack. He secured the car and headed to the truck where the guy was sitting and waiting. He waited for Bucky to secure his seatbelt before putting the truck in gear. Maybe this alpha was the protective type and not a serial killer. One could hope.

They rode in uncomfortable silence for some time and Bucky felt relief when he saw the sign for Virgin River. He reached in his backpack for the cabin information when the alpha finally spoke.

“Unmated omega like yourself, shouldn’t be out here alone. We’ve come a long way in that regard, but the world can still be a dangerous place.” And there it was, the creep factor inched up a notch.

Bucky cleared his throat and used his confident, professional voice. “I can take care of myself, thanks. Can you drop me at the Romanov cabin? I'm meeting someone there.” Bucky unfolded the paper with the picture of the rustic but quaint cabin to find what he needed. “Here’s the address.”

The beta rolled his eyes. “Everyone in Virgin River knows where the Romanov cabin is.”  
Bucky pulled the paper back quickly at the snippy answer. He made it a few more minutes before digging his wallet out of his back pocket and with the intention of making the peace, offered his reluctant rescuer a twenty for gas and his troubles. “Here,” he said hopefully as he reached across the cab of the truck.

“Folks around here do neighborly things without expecting anything in return,” was the cold and only response other than the sharp scent of irritation filling the cab. Strike two.

Bucky’s face burned with embarrassment and he knew he was filling the truck with the sour note of shame as he dropped his hand to his lap. He simply could not get anything right with this guy. He gave up just as the man put on his blinker and the truck turned down a small lane. At least he would have the little cabin in the woods as a respite to recover from the awful experience of arriving at Virgin River.

He peeked at the little piece of heaven in the photo that had been a major contributor to taking the position. The car rolled to a stop and Bucky looked up to find something that must have, at one time, resembled the cabin in the photo. His heart dropped into his stomach. The scene before him looked more like a set for a horror film at a deserted cabin in the woods than farmhouse chic, nestled in a quiet country setting.

“Jesus, this is not the place I was promised,” Bucky shook his head in disappointment as he shared the picture.

The alpha chuckled as Bucky got out of the truck and walked around to the driver’s side. “ Boy somebody sure fooled you. You should never book a vacation home based on a photo.”

Annoyed, Bucky retorted, “I'm not here for a vacation, I’m here for a job. I’m the new Nurse Practitioner and midwife. I’m working with Dr. Banner at his office. I hear he is very busy and because of that his bedside manner is suffering and his omega patients are seeking other doctors.”

The look returned to him was tense and icy despite the firm handshake being returned. “Oh really? Dr. Banner hire you?”

“No, Natasha Romanov actually hired me.”

Feeling a little courage from the thought of being helpful to other omegas, Bucky took some initiative. He smiled and reached out his hand, “I’m sorry, I don’t even know your name. I’m James Buchanon. My friends call me Bucky.”

“Oh, I see. Well Bucky, I’m Bruce. People call me Dr. Banner.”

Bucky nearly choked on his saliva. Strike three. “I...I…”

The truck groaned into gear, “And for the record, Bucky, my bedside manner is fine. I take good care of my patients. I just don’t coddle people.”

Bucky stood alone in the gravel driveway, the feeling of dread threatening to consume him. He made his way towards the cabin after a few deep breaths, parting the overgrowth and the cobwebs. He found the door unlocked but almost wished he hadn't when the smell hit him as he entered the main room.

“Jesus, what fucking died in here,” he said to himself. The bones of the cabin were good if you could see past the image of a huge frat party gone wrong look of everything else.. Garbage, and beat up furnishings filled the place detracting from the natural stone wall and potential country charm he’d hoped to find. Lights flickered on and a crash down the hall caught his attention.

“Hello?” he called out hopefully. A pretty redhead who looked like the very picture of a New England tourist advertisement in her khakis, long sleeved polo, and quilted vest, came from the source of the noise and shoved her hand out eagerly.

“James Barnes?” she asked as she shook his hand firmly. The scent said omega, but not very sweet. He wondered why. “I’m Natasha Romanov.”

“My friends call me Bucky,” he answered.

“Well, Bucky, as the mayor of Virgin River, I’d like to welcome you to town and to your humble abode.” The sarcasm rolled off her tongue far too easily.

That statement nearly stopped Bucky in his tracks. She didn’t even have the decency to smell embarrassed. “Now wait a minute, I am a little confused.”

He held up the photo and continued, “This place is a lot more humble than the one I was promised. This,” he said as he motioned with his flesh arm, “This is not even remotely close to what I was promised.”

“It's an old pic, but I’ll have it cleaned,” Natasha said with a shake of her head as she threw something into a pile of nasty looking ashes in the fireplace.

“Look, you just threw a bird's nest that came out of the oven. What part of this is farmhouse chic?” Bucky demanded. “The job you hired me for came with housing for a year. I can’t stay here.”

She openily raked her eyes up and down, settling on the prosthesis that replaced his left arm. He had not mentioned that. He’d hoped no one would notice right away. She raised her eyes and squared off with him.

“You don’t look like you left Brooklyn in search of farmhouse chic. Plus, not my fault, you’re early.” Bucky could only think she was referring to his less than typical omega build, his dark wash trouser like jeans, white button down and light blue sweater. He’d worn his nice brown Kenneth Coles,but had the sense to order an LL Bean all weather jacket figuring he’d dress like the people in the brief online research he had done before accepting the job.

“Listen, I’m three days later than I said I would be. I realize this isn’t Brooklyn, but I am not staying in this filth.”

“Fine, I’ll call Tony and Pepper. They have extra rooms. You’ll have to deal with Tony, but you look like a big boy who can take care of himself."

He watched in disbelief as she opened the disgusting fridge to find an old bottle of ketchup and god knows what else. “Well at least you held up the fridge stocked with gourmet food and beverages.”

She turned to him with a look that said he had done something wrong. “When was the last time you ate?”

“What?”

“When was the last time you ate, because hungry equals cranky and you don’t wear that as well as you do that cashmere sweater. Why don’t you pop over to Steve’s, grab some grub and by the time you are back, I’ll have the hot water on, yadda yadda.” She waved her hands around as if she had the time and the ability to make the place presentable that night.

“Who the hell is Steve?” he asked, shaking his head. It just kept getting better.

“Steve’s Bar. Only place to eat in town after five. It's just up the road to the left. You can walk.”

Bucky sighed, “Okay, but we are not done here.”

“Of course we aren’t,” She said with a wink, as she nearly closed the door on him on his way out.

He headed to the end of the drive and then to the left as she had said. It was a bit dark but he soon saw the lights of a building and sure enough as he rounded the corner he found it. It was not unlike the cabin he was supposed to stay in, but with outdoor twinkle lights strung around a deck with picnic tables and umbrellas. Above the door hung a round sign that almost resembled a shield with casual lettering that read, Steve’s Bar. Original.

He could feel eyes on him as he passed the couple of alphas hanging out on the deck. He caught their scents as they perked up to him as he reached the door. Of course it only got worse as he entered the bar. It was quite full of people for the size of it, some couples having dinner, single alphas playing pool and drinking. The amount of flannel in the room was astonishing and it may as well have been a showroom for Timberland. He was on the edge of serious discomfort by the time he reached the bar.

He sat his backpack down in one of the swivel captain chairs next to him and took off his coat. The light blue was like a beacon calling attention to him. He was overdressed for the establishment and drew eyes like a moth to a flame.

The door to what must have been the kitchen swung open and to Bucky’s relief a teenage kid popped through it carrying a tray of glasses. As he glanced up the young man, alpha, Bucky thought, froze in his tracks. His mouth dropped then quirked up a bit and if Bucky didn’t realize before that he did not fit this picture, the kid sealed the deal for him. The glasses rattled on the tray making it all the more awkward.

A firm but kind voice, an alpha voice, came from across the bar. “Peter, more glasses please.”

“Yeah, sure Cap,” he answered, setting down the tray and turned on his heel back towards the swinging doors to the kitchen area.

At the very same time, the voice took form in front of Bucky, the form of a very tall, very handsome alpha. Suddenly, Bucky had a new affinity for flannel, especially the navy plaid flannel his eyes were soaking in.. Bucky had come to Virgin River for work, to escape any and all relationships but nurse/patient kind as a respite from the weight of it all, but still he was human and the alpha filled out the flannel well.

He slapped a napkin down on the bar and Bucky hardly heard him speak, he was busy admiring the forearms that emerged from the rolled up flannel sleeves. They looked delightfully strong and were covered in fine light brown hair. Funny, they led up to equally strong looking biceps that were nearly too big for the upper part of the sleeves which, sadly Bucky thought, covered them completely. Bucky forced himself to focus and finally heard the man.

“What are we having? Whiskey? Beer? Wine? You look like the wine type. Need a minute?”

Bucky huffed at the presumption but saw enough bottles behind the guy to give it a shot. “How about a sidecar?”

“Not a chance, unless you carry your own cognac in that fancy backpack,” he laughed aloud, causing Bucky to notice the blue eyes, longer but well groomed hair, the guy had to use product to get it to stay like that at that length, and the beard. The _beard_. It was dark blonde leaning toward red and full and thick but neatly trimmed. Bucky couldn’t help but wonder if it was as soft as it looked. It was like a siren calling to him. Nothing like Brock’s nearly black, rough looking scuff. The flash of Brock in his mind brought him crashing back to reality.

He gathered himself and answered. “Not a mixed drink kinda place, I guess.” Still Bucky noted that the guy knew what a sidecar was, so there was hope.

“Nope but I've got all the boys, Jim, Jack, and Johnny, beer, wine, regular stuff, just no frills.”

“Okay, make it a Jim straight up,” Bucky conceded.

The bartender plopped a shot glass on the bar and filled it with a precision pour. Bucky shot it straight back, longing for a little buzz to ease the pain of the day.

“Wow, city boy like you? I’m surprised you can shoot whiskey like that?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes. “Who says I’m a city boy?”

“High end leather backpack, designer leather shoes, a white shirt under a sweater that wasn’t made with the intention of keeping you warm and correct me if I am wrong, but those aren’t wranglers. City boy.”

“So you work part time for the CIA while you tend bar?” Bucky teased as he tapped his glass down for a refill.

“Oh no my days of hunting bad guys are over,” the alpha declared as he wiped glasses and stacked them away. He kept eye contact with Bucky as he raised his second shot of Jim Beam.

“What?” Bucky asked, feeling a little squirmy under the gaze.

“Sorry,” we don’t get a lot of visitors around here, certainly not as handsome as you.

“Does that line work around here?”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” the alpha responded with a smile, though Bucky could see a faint blush rise from the collar of the flannel he wore so well.

“Well, you are lucky we're not in Brooklyn, because Brooklynites can smell BS from a mile away,” Bucky ended in a whisper then shot the whickey and motioned for another. He was going to need it.

Smirking as he poured, the alpha was quick to answer, “That’s why I like living here so much. People tend to be less jaded.” He set the bottle down and offered his hand. “I’m Steve Rogers.”

“Bucky Barnes.” He motioned around when they dropped the handshake. “So is this your bar?”

“Will be in about 60 more payments.” Steve bustled around the bar straightening and cleaning as he talked. “So Bucky Barnes from Brooklyn, what brings you to our humble little town?”

“Work,” Bucky offered minimally. He was beginning to feel the whiskey and did not want to tell his life story to an alpha he just met, no matter how nice he seemed. .

“Where you staying?”

Bucky set his glass down with a groan. “The Romanov cabin.”

“Oooh, what did you do to deserve that?” Steve chuckled.

Bucky hung his head in his hands. “I know, I know. I should have checked things out a bit before just coming out here.”

“Oh I don’t know, I think spontaneity has its upside,” Steve reassured him.

“I don’t think you can characterize me as spontaneous. It once took me six months to pick out a coffee maker.”

Steve stopped dead. “Six months. Either it makes coffee or it doesn't.”

“Yeah but I tend to check everything three times and then check it again. It used to drive my h-” Bucky caught himself just in time. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Steve didn’t miss the near slip. He saw Steve eye his left arm earlier as well, but at least he had the decency not to ask for the story yet. Bucky wasn’t ready to discuss Brock yet and he needed to be more careful.

Steve recovered for him quickly, a true gentleman. “So how long you here for?”

“A year,” Bucky answered. “I’m working with Dr. Banner. I’m a nurse, a nurse practitioner and midwife actually.”

“Really? You deliver babies? That’s cool. Working with Doc should be an experience.”

  
“Yeah,” Bucky snorted. “It should resemble the cabin.”

“Uncomfortable?” Steve guessed.

“You got it. I kind of stepped in it and said his bedside manner was shit.”

“No you did not.” Steve said coming around the bar to sit in the seat next to Bucky.

“Oh I did, but in my defense when I said it, I didn’t realize he was Dr. Banner.”

“Doc doesn’t like formality. He’s a good doctor, though.”

“Do you know him well?” Bucky inquired.

“Everybody knows everybody well in these parts,” Steve replied.

At that same moment the kitchen doors swung open and a clean cut almost military looking guy came through. He stopped in front of Bucky and set down a bowl. Steve introduced them.

“Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes. Bucky, Sam.” Bucky smelled a fine layer of concern coming from the new alpha who said nothing but turned and walked away. “He’s a man of few words, but he’s a hard worker and a great cook.”

Bucky tipsy and starving dug into the bowl. “Wow, this is fantastic, What is it?”

Steve, behind the bar again, said with a straight face, “Squirrel.”

Bucky reached for a napkin to spit it out when Steve broke into laughter. “That was too easy.”

“Come on, that was cold.”

“Hey and listen to me, I have had squirrel and when it is done right it is mighty tasty,” Steven said defensively. “You’re eating squash and lentil stew.”

“I’ll take you at your word on the squirrel,” Bucky stated and then continued to eat. Steve went to pour another shot but Bucky initially stopped him. “If I have any more, I may not find the cabin. Hey on second thought..” he motioned for a pour.

When he finished the stew, Steve joined him at the bar again and they had a few more drinks together. It wasn’t long before Bucky knew he should probably go to bed. He was leaning towards drunk and needed to get back to the cabin.

“I’d better call it a night. Thanks for dinner and the conversation. Maybe you could remind me the way to the cabin.”

“Oh no, I’ll walk you there. You’re new and you don’t smell mated, not that it’s my business,” Steve said awkwardly.

Ignoring the comment about being unmated, Bucky thanked Steve for the offer and took him up on it. They walked in comfortable silence and as they hit the driveway, Bucky could make out the silhouette of his car.

“Oh my car! Scott you're an angel, but I can’t sleep in it.”

“You can’t drive either.”

“No, no, no. Leaving now is not an option. Would you like to know why? I will tell you,” Bucky continued without waiting for an answer. “I can’t leave because I sold my house, and most of my belongings, and then I quit my job and moved to this town, just so I can live there.” He could hear his sort of shit faced tone as he pointed to the cabin.

“Yep,” Steve answered, sounding like he wasn’t really sure what to say.

“I hate that Becca is always right,” Bucky continued his word vomiting.

“Your alpha?” Steve asked hesitantly.

“Sister, bossy, bossy, sister.”

“Well, if I had a spare room I would offer, but…”

“No, it’s like camping, right? I can make it one night.”

“Good outlook,” Steve replied.

Bucky popped the trunk and they each grabbed one of the large suitcases, carrying them to the cabin.

Bucky saw a marked difference in the appearance of the cabin. Natasha had indeed cleaned it, but it was still not enough for him to consider staying longer than one night.

“It's not so bad, is it?” Bucky asked.

“Perspective is the key to happiness,” Steve offered.

“So you're saying it's possible to become accustomed to this place?”

Steve laughed, “Sure, just don't insult any more of the residents.” He started towards the door.

“Thank you, Steve. Thank you for the help, and the kindness and the food. Most importantly, thanks for the whiskey.” He regretted his drunken grovel, but it was out and it was too late.

He chuckled a bit, but then Steve’s face softened, and he said sincerely, “Any time, Bucky.” And with that he closed the door and Bucky was alone. Alone was never good for Bucky.

He cleaned up at the sink and put on sweats and a t-shirt to sleep in. He found an old comfy hoodie that had been Brock’s. He took the thin quilt from the pile Natasha had left. The suitcases and the piles of linens reminded him of when he and Brock moved into their house. Brock had still been sweet at that point. He’d even found sheets and carried Bucky to the bedroom bridal style.

Too much whiskey after a long day full of disappointing events and Bucky was right back in Brooklyn and missing his old life. Wrapped in the quilt, he curled up on the couch with a spare blanket as a pillow. He’d been in an accident, pissed off his new boss, and had to spend the night in this awful cabin. Jackpot. The tears were flowing before he knew it and damn if he wasn’t too drunk to stop them.


	2. Unwelcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky tries to make amends with Doc Banner and Steve decides Bucky needs to be taken under his wing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who welcomed me to writing this fandom and Stucky in particular. Thanks also for the lovely comments. You'll note some tag additions and changes. Zemo is out, Jane, Thor and Odin are in. The chapter will hold more about that. This is a slow burn but mine are never quite that slow, the wait won't kill you....

Steve woke to far too much light and pain in his head. The sun wasn’t even fully up yet, not a good sign. He was also sure something furry had made its bed in his mouth during the night. He groaned and turned over, shoving his face in the pillow to block the light. That was worse, made him more nauseous, so he rolled to his back and shaded his eyes with his arms. Not great but better. He never drank that much anymore. But the company...

Regret came in the form of a hangover the size of the entire state of Vermont. What was he thinking getting so involved with a complete stranger, an unmated omega stranger at that. He was thinking with the wrong body part for sure. The guy was so good looking and fuck... he smelled so good. Almost perfect if the slight hint of sadness were gone. 

He... _ Bucky _ . Bucky had soft looking shoulder length brown hair that seemed just right for running his hands through...the bluest eyes, almost grey. And Jesus, he had the right build for Steve who stood at 6 foot and carried the muscular weight to fill out his frame. If Steve guessed, he’d say the omega was nearly the same size he was, maybe a little lighter. Steve never did find dainty attractive. It was a rare occurrence to find an omega that ticked all Steve’s boxes. Bucky didn’t just tick them, he did so with a sharpie.  _ Christ _ ...not appropriate at all. Steve knew better.

The thing was, Steve knew little about him except that the omega was sad, had sold his stuff to move here and was out of his league. Oh sure, the prosthetic arm screamed military injury, but the nice clothes, the fact that he was a nurse midwife...those were not in line with that lifestyle. What else would Steve have in common with him besides bad memories of deployments gone wrong. Imagine the conversation,  _ Oh hey, do you happen to have previous military time under your belt and do you experience horrible night terrors about your time in the middle east. Oh you do, wow, we have so much in common. Perfect, I mean I can be the constant reminder of your blown off arm.  _

Then there was the puzzling contradiction of the clearly unmated smell, yet a wedding band on his left hand. How was Steve supposed to sort that mess out. No, the right thing to do was just befriend him. Steve had heard Bucky stop mid sentence last night and the only logical word to follow where he left off was husband or alpha, of that Steve was sure. 

Nope, Steve had just convinced himself. He belonged behind the bar in his flannel shirt and blue jeans pouring beer, and Bucky did things like deliver babies and wear designer clothes. The gap was too wide. He was, Steve conceded, what the town needed when it came to helping Dr. Banner with his growing practice. Steve loved this town and he could help the town keep their nurse practitioner. There, he had a plan, a reason to be the friend of an unmated omega. 

Steve hauled his hung over ass out of bed and showered. He found Sam already prepping in the kitchen as he searched for a bottle of water. The chopping stopped briefly. Sam’s eyes followed him, like the judge and jury of Steve’s escapades.

“Don’t. Don’t judge me. My head hurts too bad to defend myself in any way.”

“What?” Sam asked incredulously. 

Steve just raised an eyebrow.

“Did your new omega friend make it home okay?” 

“He did, and he had a ring on his finger,” Steve pointed out, as if that was enough to declare his innocence. 

“Just wondered if you noticed that,” Sam said with a smirk. “Along with the fact that it was on  _ that  _ arm.”

“I did... and simply made sure he got to the cabin safe and sound.” 

“Mhmmm,” Sam said as he resumed chopping kale.

Steve left the prep area and all the chopping noise. He grabbed a small empty lime crate, his to go coffee cup, and a clean bar towel before heading out to Sharon’s bakery truck. 

It was a chilly walk, fall creeping slowly towards winter. The leaves around town were as beautiful as the day he had fallen in love with the place. He liked it here and didn’t want to mess it up for himself. He finally had roots, even if he had no one to share them with yet. 

“Morning, Sharon.”

“Hey Steve, you’re out and about early,” Sharon greeted him. “What can I get you?”

He handed over the coffee mug, asking, “Can you fill this with coffee and then can I get a few items to put in this crate for the new nurse staying at Romanov’s cabin?”

“Shit, that place is a mess. This calls for a coffee cake muffin, a mini brioche with some of my strawberry jam, and a chocolate croissant for sure,” she said with a laugh. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna talk to Natasha today to see if I can work on fixing it up, but I figured he wouldn’t know where to get breakfast yet.” 

“He, huh?” Sharon asked, sounding curious. “Omega, he?”

“Yup, Bucky Barnes. New nurse and midwife coming to town to work with Doc.” Steve answered quickly, feeling the heat of blush up his neck. 

Steve took the mug and the bag and set them on the picnic table. He arranged the bar towel and the baked goods, tucking the towel in and stuck the mug in the corner, standing up. He had a last minute thought and asked Sharon for a piece of paper and a pen. She handed him an order slip, it would have to do.

The walk to the cabin wasn’t far, the beauty of living in a tiny town. Everything was within walking distance. Of course that had its downside as well. Everyone knew your business, no secrets. He approached the cabin quietly just as the sun was really beginning to cast its light fully and he set the crate on one of the old chairs on the porch. The place really needed work, Steve thought as he headed back to the bar to get things going for the day. He may or may not have been a little lighter in his step, as he thought about Bucky finding the treats. 

***

Bucky vowed never to drink that much whiskey again. He was suffering this morning and had so much to do. He really needed a shitty diner to grab something for his stomach. He checked his phone for the time and thought he had better call Becca. He had numerous missed calls and texts. As he started to sit up he realized now was not the time for that conversation. He got to his feet slowly and eased his way to the porch.

The sun was just rising and even in his current state, Bucky had to admit the view from the front porch was beautiful. It had been dark when he arrived last night and now that he could see the property, it was actually very nice. There was even a pond or small lake to the right, mostly behind the cabin. From the look of it, geese used it for a landing place as they travelled south. It was surrounded by reeds and trees with gorgeous foliage in orange, gold and bright red. That combined with the geese bobbing here and there, it could be the picture on a post card for the state. Too bad the cabin was in such shitty shape. 

A glint of metal on one of the beat up chairs caught his eye. He found a box with a travel coffee mug and prayed it was full. He carried the box inside and found butter laden baked goods and some jam with a note that read simply,  _ Hang in there, Steve. _

Bucky was grateful and suddenly full of dread at what he might have done or said last night. He remembered talking with Steve and whiskey...lots of whiskey. He hoped he had not embarrassed himself or been too forward. He certainly did not come here to start anything but a job. He wanted to heal and he healed best when he healed others. He wolfed down the food and drank the coffee despite it being black. He would kill for a mocha latte, but beggars can’t be choosers. 

He showered quickly in the dingy bathroom and put on clothes fit for office hours, his favorite chestnut brown slacks and a cream colored crew neck sweater. He threw his navy pea coat and headed on foot to find Dr. Banner’s office. He had some fixing to do if they were ever going to get along and work together the way they needed to. Using his phone for guidance he walked briskly until he found the large green house that was the doctor's home and office space. 

It was a beautiful old home with as much personality as the brownstone Bucky had lived in with Brock, in Brooklyn. It was a different kind of charming but charming nonetheless, it even had a short picket fence around the front yard. The medium green paint was offset by red doors and Bucky thought about how it might look at Christmas time. There was a round section on the front of the house, the kind that made Bucky wonder if the room on the inside could be round to match. The sign to the right of the door read Dr. Bruce Banner, MD General Practice. Bucky took a deep breath and turned the handle.

The inside of the building matched the classiness of the outside. There was lots of dark wood and comfortable furniture in what Bucky assumed was the waiting area. He made his way towards where he thought the exam rooms might be. He pushed open two pocket style doors and startled as he found himself in Dr. Banner’s office. It was the round part of the house and Bucky was so tickled to find that it was as round on the inside as the outside that he nearly bumped into the man himself. The man looked as grumpy as ever and like he rolled into the office in what he had slept in the night before.

“Oh, sorry. Good morning Dr. Banner.” No answer. Oh boy. “Let me start by thanking you for stopping to help me last night and also I really want to apologize for what I said.”

“You mean the part about me not being able to handle the workload or the part where I scare off all the omegas with my shitty bedside manner?” he asked dryly. 

“Well, both and let me also say that in my defense, that is what Natasha Romanov told me when I called about the job. It wasn’t anything I assessed myself and I regret saying any of it. But I did sign a contract.”   


Banner looked at him with a heated glare, “Not with me you didn’t. I never asked for you to come and It’s my practice. I built it from nothing. Before I came here, people had to go fifty miles for a doctor.”

“I may not have signed a contract with you, but I signed one and I intend to keep my end of it,” Bucky stated, he could hear his own desperation. Bucky needed to be here. He had nowhere to go back to, not really.

“Listen, buddy. I don’t work well with others. You do not want to piss me off. When I get mad it gets ugly real quick. I suggest you take the hint and go before I do anything I regret.” The look on the doctor’s face led Bucky to believe he meant every word. 

The threat left Bucky with no other choice and he left to go find Natasha. He explained the way he had felt after the conversation in the office and Natasha’s face did something that was a cross between disbelief and annoyance. She marched and Bucky followed.

Bucky hung back in the waiting area but could see and hear them argue.

Natasha ripped into him first, “Now you’ve done it. You threatened him. You, an alpha with an oath, verbally threatened your nurse. Not to mention he is an omega, unmated at that. You can’t do this. I hired him. You need him. This isn’t you, Bruce. You’re better than this.”

The retort was a deep alpha growl that nearly made Bucky jump. “I don’t know this guy at all. You told me I could find someone on my own.”

“I gave you a year. You did nothing, claiming you had no time. This town needs healthcare and we have a growing number of omegas who need someone who has the time and the inclination to listen.” They stood locked in place, toe to toe and then Natasha wielded the final blow. “And face it Bruce, we both know you can’t be in two places at once.”

Bruce’s anger dropped immediately and the room filled with the scent of regret and sadness. Clearly she was referring to something that could cut the doctor to his knees quickly. 

He threw some things in a bag and said, “You know what, Nat...even for you that was pretty low.”

He stepped back into the front hall. Things had gotten personal and he thought they deserved privacy. He could still hear them talking but Natasha’s voice was softer, almost soothing, like a lullaby. Bucky slipped out before he heard anything else and headed for the only place he figured he could sit for a while, Steve’s Bar. 

The word must travel quickly because Bucky felt a lot of eyes as he walked quickly to the bar. He chucked his backpack in the seat next to him, and got a distinct deja vu feeling. Sam was behind the bar and spoke to him bruskly.

“I’ve got elk, buffalo, venison, and rabbit.”

“Nothing like fish?” Bucky asked not ready for game quite yet, and not knowing if Sam was serious about those offerings. Sam shook his head in response.

Out of the corner of his eye a blonde woman approached holding two beautiful pies. If nothing else was tame enough for him, Bucky thought he could live on that pie. She interjected, “You should try the kale and brussel sprout salad. Sam cooks farm to table and the farm is a rock’s throw from the table.”

Bucky turned back to find Sam smirking. “I’ll have that salad,” Bucky ordered. Sam nodded and then Bucky noticed he raised the pies a bit and nodded to the woman who was as pretty as her pies. .

“Thank you for the save there…” Bucky hinted, offering his hand.

She gripped it firmly and shook, “Sharon, Sharon Carter, I run the bakery truck. Sweet Sharon’s”

“Bucky, Barnes. I’m the-”

“New nurse,” Sharon finished for him. Bucky must have looked as surprised as he felt that she knew who he was. “Sorry, small town, big gossip. Lack of great internet will do that to a place.”

“I'm getting the picture.” 

“Hey is that a Herschel backpack?” Sharon asked with a little eagerness?

“Yeah, it is. It was a gift.” 

“I’m probably the only one who will notice your shoes are Kenneth Cole as well. I’m a transplant myself. If it’s not Northface or from an LL Bean catalog, people don’t wear it around here.”

Bucky laughed, “Oh I don’t know about that, I see a fair share of Carhartt around the room.”

“True, true. You got me there. Well nice to meet you Bucky. Stop by the truck, we omega’s gotta stick together, right?”

“Sure thing, I’ll be sure to do that.” Bucky said as Sam set the salad in front of him. It looked good enough to make Bucky think he might actually start to like the place. Maybe one friend would ease the fact that he felt so alone. Still, his mind suddenly remembered that Dr. Banner didn’t want him and his stomach dropped again. He began to pick at the kale in the bowl when he saw Steve come from the back of the bar.

Steve smiled brightly and came over to speak to Bucky. “Oooh good choice, he commented pointing to the salad.” 

“This is delicious.”

“You sound surprised about that,” Steve answered, sounding a little hurt, but in jest.

“No. It’s perfectly normal to have a salad like this in a room with an animal head on every wall.”

“Yeah well we aim to please.” Steve nodded.

“I just have to be careful to eat healthy until I can find a place to work out. I run, but I need to lift as well or I’ll turn to jello. I have to keep even with the weight of this,” he said, holding his prosthetic arm up off the table a little.”

“I run, too. Have a little gym here in the basement. You’re not going to find a gym in town, have to go all the way to Clear Water for that. You can work out with my stuff if you like.” Steve sounded sincere in his offer.

Bucky could only imagine what Steve looked like working out and he was pissed at himself for even trying. He could not let this become a thing where he had to tell Steve he wasn’t interested. He did need a way to stay in shape, though. “Sounds good. It’s been a few days already since I worked out. Vacation’s over.”

“Well, how about a running tour of the town and surroundings, I’ll even show you the river we’re named for. Then we can do a quick set of upper body. How’s that sound.”

Now he'd done it. This was starting to sound like a date. He’d have to be careful. “Great! What time?”

“Let’s run at six, then Sam and I are on arms and chest tomorrow.”

Bucky nearly choked on a brussel sprout. Boy he’d misread that. He was glad, though. No time for falling for anyone. He was here for work, for himself, to get his mind right. Still he found himself going from worried to disappointed. 

He jumped when he heard Natasha come up behind him and announce, “GOOD NEWS!”

Steve flashed his brilliant smile and asked, “What?”

“Well, don’t expect a parade, but Doc is going to give you a 30 day trial period. You start immediately!”

“Natasha, you’ve already hired me.” Bucky was a bit exasperated.

“Technically, I pay you, but it is his practice.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that to begin with?” Now Bucky was annoyed. That would have been helpful information to know. 

“Well, Sweetie, then you wouldn’t have come, would you?” She said dryly. 

He huffed out a breath because he probably wouldn’t have come. There was no answer for that now. There was however a housing issue.

“Okay, fine, but I am not staying in that shack another night.”

Steve jumped in, “I have to side with Bucky on that one.”

Natasha’s lips drew together in a flat line. “You stay out of this.” She turned to Bucky. “You signed a con-”

“Now wait one minute. I know very well that I signed a contract...a contract that promised me suitable housing. So technically, you're in breach. We both know that makes the contract null and void and I can leave whenever I want.”

Natasha gave a glare before walking away to the other end of the bar. Steve followed her. Bucky could not hear the conversation and ate his salad. 

“Do you want him to leave?” Steve asked Natasha quietly so Bucky would not hear. 

“No, we need him to stay, we both know that.”

“Well, put him up at the Stark’s and pay me and Peter to fix up the cabin and maybe he’ll stay. We could do a great job.”

“I’m not made of money, Steve.”

“Do not cry poor to me, Natasha. We both know you can afford it. But can you afford to lose him.”

“Fine, but work quickly. You know Rogers, you’re going to an awful lot of trouble for a complete stranger.”

“Why Natasha Romanov, I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I know you well enough to know that if Bucky were not an attractive unmated omega, we probably wouldn't even be having his conversation. 

Steve could not deny that he’d not found a mate here yet. He had his flings and his fun times, fwb, but no one that really mattered. This might be an opportunity, might not, but it couldn’t hurt to have Bucky around long enough to find out. Steve called out to Bucky, “Hey I think Natasha has some good news for you.”

She headed back over to Bucky and groaned. “Okay, I’ll put you up at the Stark’s for now, while I figure out what to do with the cabin.”

“The place with the alpha who’s a bit much?”

Steve laughed right out loud. “Actually Tony is a bit much, but Pepper’s the alpha in that pair.”

As Natasha sulked off, Bucky let Steve know he could take care of himself. “You know, i can fight my own battles.”

“Hey now, you look like you’ve had someone’s six before. I was just watching yours.” Steve defended himself. 

Their eyes met and for a brief second it was like they both knew what the other had done earlier in their lives and wanted to forget. Bucky broke the silent acknowledgment first. 

“I’d better get over to Dr. Banner’s if I start immediately.”

“Doc, he likes Doc. No formalities. He hates that.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said gratefully. He needed all the help he could get.

  
  


***

The office was empty when he got there, no sign of Dr. Banner anywhere, so Bucky hung up his coat and took a look around. He found the files for the patients and it looked simple enough, alphabetical order by last name as you would assume. There were colored tags, green or blue, which Bucky soon found to be omega or alpha, that was standard and made sense. The supplies were in pretty convenient order and Bucky was about to look for a storage room to refill some items to stay busy when he heard someone enter the clinic.

“Hello? Can I help you?” Bucky called out.

“Is Doc here?” a woman answered and then sucked in a sharp breath. 

Bucky rounded the corner to find a pregnant woman, young, maybe mid twenties, looking to be late in the third trimester and holding low on her belly with both hands. That was never a good sign. She also looked frightened.

“No, I’m afraid he’s not here, can I help you?   


She shook her head, “I think I’ll wait for Doc.” She lowered herself carefully to a chair and hissed again as clearly a pain of some sort caused her discomfort. 

“I’m not sure where he went or when he is coming back. I’m Bucky. I’m the new nurse midwife, I promise I can help.” He was becoming concerned and really wanted to be sure nothing was wrong.”What’s your name?”

“I’m Jane, Jane Odinson.”

“Hi Jane, when are you due?”

“Any day now.”

“Well Jane, I think that you should let me take a look. Do you have anyone with you?” 

She nodded, “Thor is parking the truck, he dropped me right at the door.”

Bucky put his arm around her waist and under one elbow to lift her to her feet. She was a tiny thing other than her large belly. “Okay then, there we go. Let's go back here to the exam room. We’ll wait for Thor before we get started.” Bucky was an omega but he still didn’t want to make waves and examine her without a second person present. He didn’t need any more trouble than he already had with Dr, Banner. He was going to dot his Is and cross his Ts. 

As if on cue, a very tall muscular alpha burst through the door with a thunderous bellow, “Jane, my darling wife?”

“In here,” Bucky replied. When the man entered the exam area he looked puzzled.

“Where is the good Dr. Banner? You’re not Doc.” 

Bucky put out his hand and said, “Bucky Barnes, nurse midwife, nice to meet you…”

The man still stared and then Jane had another pain and they both jumped to her aid. 

“Help me get her on the table. Jane can you get up here,” Bucky asked, patting the place he wanted her to sit.

“I am Thor, Jane’s husband. I’ll help her.” Ever so gently the large man lifted her and placed her on the table, smoothing her hair from her forehead and planting a kiss on her cheek. “My beautiful Jane, are you alright?”

“He is going to check on me,” Jane answered and then looked at Bucky. 

He proceeded with taking her temperature and blood pressure. Both were normal. She had a couple more pains and Bucky needed to see if she was really contracting and if she was dilated at all. He found the sheets for covering during a pelvic exam and handed it to her. 

“Do you think you can get your bottoms off with Thor’s help while I grab your chart? I just want to read your case and ask some questions, then we’ll get to the exam to check your cervix, okay?’

Jane nodded and he heard her explaining to Thor what needed to happen. Bucky managed to find her chart with little trouble but there were no notes about the pregnancy and no recent urine test for protein and so he got jane to give a sample. There was a small amount of protein in her urine. He marked it in her chart and made a note to have her rest more, at least two periods of laying down per day. 

He got her back on the table and proceeded with the exam. “Jane, bring your heels to your bottom and let your knees fall wide. I am going to do a check to see if you have dilated at all. I will also be able to tell if you are really contracting.” He felt their eyes as they noticed the prosthetic ar. Luckily they said nothing. 

He talked to her and to Thor the entire time he examined her as a distraction. He learned that they lived out on a farm that was part of a conservative settlement. Jane explained it to be like a modern amish community. They farmed traditionally, but had phones and TV. They just chose to keep to themselves. Thor’s father, Odin, was the head of the community. .

“Please don’t tell Father we came today. He doesn’t like us to seek outside help, but my Jane was scared so I brought her to Doc,” Thor explained. “I am glad for your help as well, good man.”

Bucky was proud of the fact that he was a good midwife. Back in Brooklyn people came from a long way to have him deliver their babies. He was nearly done and had explained that Jane was not dilated and was having Braxtons Hicks. He asked about Jane’s prenatal care and why she had not had regular visits in her chart. She explained that when she had married Thor, she joined the community and respected his father’s wishes. She had grown up in Virgin River, so she was a patient of the doctor’s and that’s why she had a chart. They were wrapping up when he heard someone next door in the office. The doors slid open and Dr. Banner popped his head in.    
  
“What is going on?”

“Ahhh there you are Doc! You weren’t here and my Jane was having pain, so this good gentleman helped us. Jane’s having the wrong kind of pains for the babe to come yet.”

Bucky walked over and closed the doors saying, “We’re almost done. We will be out in a minute.” Jane deserved her privacy with only a sheet to cover her. 

He offered Jane his hands to help her sit up and she did not even hesitate to take both of them. He offered her a warm smile and she returned it. When they were done, he left Jane to get dressed with Thor and made notes in the chart at a table in Doc’s office. He would need a desk of his own for this kind of work. 

He summarized what Jane should do to help with the protein in her urine and with the false labor pains. The couple left and Bucky felt pretty good. He turned to talk with Doc and what he saw was not what he expected. Doc was angry.

“This is my practice and these are my patients. You had no right to examine her without my permission.”

“What are you talking about? I work here now. You said 30 day trial, you told Natasha that this morning.” Bucky was dumbfounded by the response to his first successful patient exam. 

“I never said you could examine anyone.”

Bucky was livid at that statement. “She appeared to be in labor. By the way, she has had no prenatal care at all that I can see from her chart. I guess you’re not concerned about that! And as long as we’re on the subject, if I can’t see patients what the hell was I going to do for 30 days?”

Doc barked back, “I don’t know. File paperwork, keep the coffee pot going?”

“That’s ridiculous. I have years of trauma experience in the army and years of delivery experience as a midwife. I’ll agree I could do my share of the paperwork, but I am not a secretary,” Bucky was livid.

“Well now you're not anything except fired,” Doc growled.

“What?”

“You heard me! You're officially fired.”

Bucky nearly squawked, “You can’t fire me, Natasha hired me.”

“I just did, not get your things and go. And as long as we’re on the subject,” he mimicked sarcastically, “Odin lets me see people at the farm once a month. I just don’t chart it. Jane’s baby is healthy. You’d know that if you’d asked before you just jumped in where you didn;t belong.”

Bucky stood there, shocked, but realized the man was serious and so he gathered his coat and backpack and left. He headed to the cabin and got a text on the way from Natasha that the Starks’ were expecting him at their place. Bucky packed his things and got in his car. 

He had no idea what he would do next. He had nowhere to go and he’d gotten rid of everything but what he could pack in the Fiat. This job, this opportunity, was all he had. Now it was crumbling in around him, just like his life had with Brock. He couldn’t do it again. It had taken everything within him to start over this time. He decided he had better call Becca. 

She picked up on the first ring. “Jesus, Bucky! I thought you were dead. You promised to call, you didn’t answer my texts or my messages.”

He didn’t need this, though he knew he should have called. “I’m fine Becca. I’m sorry I didn’t call, I’ve been so busy.”

“Well, how’s it going? Is it what you wanted when you left us to move out there in the woods?”

“It’s a town, Bec, not an uncivilized forest. It’s fine. Things are…” Bucky’s eyes prickled and he tried desperately to get himself under control.

“What, Bucky? Things are what?” Becca sounded truly concerned.

“It’s just that I got in a minor accident on the way here and the cabin is not at all like the picture and I insulted the doctor, but I didn’t know it was him when I did it…”He took a deep shaky breath. “But he hates me anyway, and he fired me for examining a patient...I just feel really alone right now.” 

Bucky let out a few shaky sobs. He’d just hoped for so much more from this move. “Bucky, honey, you’re not alone. Come home and live with us for a while. You know, nobody blames you for what happened. You don’t have to run from it. Moving out there didn’t change anything but your address.”

He thought about it and he pictured moving back home to live with Becca and her family. Becca had always taken care of him, since their parents were gone. Then he’d had Brock. If he went back, though, it wouldn’t just be Becca, it would still be Bucky surrounded by all the bad memories and he just couldn’t bear that yet. Nope, he just had to tough it out. 

He stifled his tears and said, “No, Bec, if I leave here, I won’t be coming back to Brooklyn. I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow, I’m sorry.” He hung up before she could anwer and he drove to the Stark’s to see what was in store for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please chat with me in the comments. Always good to get feedback, here suggestions for future chapters. I'm a write as I think it up person with only a general framework. I can make a turn if I hear a good idea. Let me know what you think.


	3. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve spend some more time together and share a little about their pasts with each other. A town emergency drags up memories Bucky may just want to forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for discussions of past tragic events in Bucky's life. If you want specifics see the end notes.

Bucky sat in his car until he felt like he had his emotions back under control. He wasn’t sure what to do but he could at least spend a night in a clean bed and maybe even take a bath to relax. He really hoped Natasha was exaggerating about Mr. Stark being a bit over the top. He took a deep breath and opened the car door. He was getting his luggage out of the trunk when the front door of the house opened and a lanky, blonde, impeccably dressed woman and shorter dark haired man with a very well groomed goatee and fashionable glasses came out and down the walk. 

As he made his way towards them, the man dramatically raised both his arms outright to shoulder height and shouted, “Welcome to the humble Stark abode.” The guy, the omega, was about six months pregnant if he was a day. 

The woman came forward, rolling her eyes and said, “Please forgive Tony, he’s a little dramatic. I’m Pepper. Welcome.”

“Hi Pepper, Bucky Barnes. Thanks for letting me stay here. I think sometimes pregnancy makes omegas more emotional than usual. I get it.”

“Oh dear no, Tony’s always a drama king. The pregnancy didn’t do this,” she laughed. Bucky felt himself relax a little. They seemed perfectly fine to him. Then Tony approached them and took complete control of the conversation.

“Greetings, Bucky. Nice arm you got there, I dabble a bit, I’d love to look at that some time. Hey, it’s your lucky day, one room left. Pepper’s kind of concerned you won’t like it. Natasha told us how picky you are about things being from the big city and everything. It’s not Tom Ford, but it’s home to us. Right Pep.”

“Tony! I am not the one who’s concerned. You and Natasha gossiped all afternoon, don’t you dare drag me into your little real wives group.” She turned to Bucky. “I’m sure you’ll be perfectly comfortable in the room we have, let’s get you settled.”

It was a lovely room and a huge relief to be able to sit anywhere he wanted without fear of something crawling. The furniture was classic french looking pieces, and the bedding and drapes were a nice cream color with a chocolate toile pattern. He had an en suite bathroom and thought it was a standard shower bath combo, it was sparkling clean and there were lots of fluffy towels. 

He was just finishing his unpacking when he heard Natasha’s voice. He answered a knock on his door and sure enough there she was. 

“Hey Natasha, what can I do for you?’

“He fired you and you didn’t come find me?”

Bucky’s frustration with the whole situation came out in his terse tone. “Look, he doesn’t want me here and I am not a secretary. We’ve been through this. I did the job you hired me to do and he fired me on the spot. It was never going to work out anyway. I just don’t know what to do to make him realize that we could work well together. You know Tony’s quite pregnant, Jane Odinson is pregnant, I’ve seen others in town. What is he going to do if they all go into labor around the same time?”

“I get it, and he should know better.” Natasha shook her head. “ About a year ago he had a conflict with two omegas in labor and unfortunately he had to choose. It was scary and it changed him. He thinks of these patients as his family, but he closed off after one of those patients had to go in an ambulance to deliver at the hospital. Everything was fine, but she left his care over it. That’s when I told him he needed to have help with that part of the practice. We are a community that attracts young families, he needs your help and you’re perfect for the job. Let me talk to him again, just relax for a day or so until he cools off. Please.”

“If you say so, but I came here to help people and to work as a nurse midwife, not file and make coffee for him.”

“I know you did,” Natasha said minus her usual rough edge.

“Truthfully, Natasha, I need this as much as he needs me. I don’t really have anywhere else to go,” Bucky admitted, hearing his own voice break a little. He really didn’t. Becca might offer but Brooklyn was not home anymore. It was a very lonely and painful realization. 

She nodded at him, “Leave it to me. Give me a little time. Believe it or not, I’ve got a way with the big guy.”

Bucky took advantage of the clean bathroom and he filled the tub for a good long soak. He took all of his hair and wrapped it up into a messy bun on top of his head with a hair tie. There was a welcome basket and he wasn’t above dropping in a lavender bath bomb. He hoped it would help him relax and get some sleep. 

He was feeling emotional after his eventful day and he stopped to look at his wedding band. His thoughts flashed to Steve and his bright smile, not that anything could happen between them, that wasn’t Bucky’s intent. Still he started to think about taking off his ring. It _had_ been over a year...but his mind wandered back to a hopeful time when Becca had given birth to her second child.

_Bucky was rocking the sweet baby boy in his arms and Brock sat close by. “You make pretty babies, Becca.” Bucky had said._

_"When are you going to make pretty babies and make me an auntie?"_

_It stung when she asked, but then she had no idea they were struggling to get pregnant. “We’re working on it,” Bucky had said._

_“Well, work harder,” she had teased back._

_Brock had been so good about all the procedures Bucky had been through to try to conceive. He played along, “I agree with your sister. Listen, I have to run. See you after my shift.” Brock had kissed him goodbye gently on the temple and Bucky was left holding the sweet baby and their secret._

The tink of metal hitting the tub jolted Bucky back to the present and he grabbed the ring that he must have slipped out of his hand while he was lost in his thoughts and quickly put it back on the ring finger of his prosthetic hand. He climbed out of the tub and toweled off. He found one of Brock’s old t-shirts that he’d kept and put it on with his boxers before climbing into bed for the night. For the second time that day and the second night in a row, Bucky could not stop the flow of tears. 

The next morning, just like he promised, Steve arrived at six am to go running. Running Bucky could do. It was chilly so he threw on a pair of jogging pants, not his tight running leggings, he didn’t think Vermont was ready for that just yet. He grabbed a t-shirt and a zip up hoodie that would keep him warm but not overheat him when they ran. He was outside tying his favorite red running shoes when Steve arrived. 

Bucky’s mouth would have fallen open and all of his saliva run onto the gravel if he had not had the sense to lock his jaw in place. Steve had on a simple pair of navy running pants, similar to Bucky’s, fitted enough not to rub you wrong but tight enough to not need your imagination when it came to checking out his ass. However, Steve had on an obscenely tight short sleeved grey under armour shirt. He was carrying a jacket in one hand, a jacket which Bucky hoped Steve would never put on...ever. 

“Ready to head out, Buck?” Buck? Swallow the saliva James Buchanon Barnes. Focus and function, please, brain. He managed a nod. He also managed to take the hairband from his wrist and get half of his hair tied up and out of his face. 

“Nice with the hair up. I like it,” Steve commented. “I thought we’d do five miles with a break halfway down at the river. Can you do five or should I shorten it?”

“No, no, I can do five. Five is good.” Jesus he sounded like a doofus. He’d run fifty miles with that shirt and ass in front of him. 

“Okay, let’s hit it.” Steve said innocently. Bucky nearly swallowed his own tongue. Get your shit together Bucky. 

They jogged about twenty minutes with Steve pointing out things as he saw fit. They paced well together and Bucky was actually feeling much better than he had since he had arrived in Virgin River. 

“How you feeling, Bucky?’

“I’m good. Am I holding you back or something?” Bucky asked, starting to worry that maybe he was wrong about the pacing. Steve looked about as sweaty as Bucky felt, he could see little droplets on his upper lip and tips the hair around his ears. 

“No, no,” Steve said, shaking his head, and flinging those droplets, “I was asking because if we go down by the river it may be a bit more than five miles.”

Bucky was relieved. “Oh that’s fine, I can handle it. Lead on, tour guide.” 

Steve laughed and turned them down a trail off the main road. At the end of the trail was a set of steps. Breathing heavy, Steve led Bucky down the stairs, offering him his hand once when Bucky stumbled. 

“Whoa, sorry,” Bucky apologized as he grabbed Steve’s hand. It was his prosthetic and Steve didn’t even blink. 

At the bottom of the stairs were two pairs of boots. Steve kicked off his sneaks and slid into the knee high rubber boots. He motioned to Bucky to step into a boot.

“No thanks, I’ll be fine.”

“No you won’t, come on let me help you. We’re going down by the water, don’t want you to ruin those nice red runners.”

“Do you have time for all this? Don’t you have to go to work?” Bucky asked Steve. 

“No, I told Sam were were going on a tour. I tried to clear your morning with Doc, but he told me he fired you. I don’t know what he’s thinking?

Bucky’s ire went up immediately. “You did what?”

Steve bent down and motioned for Bucky’s foot. “I spoke to-”

“You know, I don’t need your help. I can handle myself. I’m not some weak omega.”

Steve stood and held up his hands. “That’s not what I was trying to do. My bad, I won’t do that again. I apologize. Of course you’re not weak. I just wanted to surprise you.”

Bucky relaxed a little. “I get it. But…”

“I promise to respect your independence. Now let me help you so we can go see what I brought you here to see. Do you trust me?”

“Fine, we’re all the way down here.” 

“Grab my shoulder,” Steve said as he pulled Bucky’s shoe off and helped him into the boot. 

Bucky gripped Steve’s shoulder and could feel every muscle under his hand while Steve helped him. The fabric was damp from running. It was just a shame that Steve had put in the thin jacket when they started out. It didn’t stop Bucky’s mind from wondering how good Steve would look and feel without a shirt on. Not to mention that Steve was innocently bent over directly in front of Bucky to help with his shoes. Good god the alpha’s back rippled sinfully. 

“Here we go,” Steve said as he started to walk through the trees. Bucky was ashamed of how much he missed his hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

“Wait, those are my favorite running shoes.”

“And they’ll be fine, nobody will take them because nobody is out here.” Steve chuckled. 

They walked for what seemed like forever. Bucky was not opposed to nature, but born and raised in the city did not leave a lot of interest in the great outdoors. He silently hoped whatever they were going to was worth all the trouble. 

It was.

They came out of the tree line to the prettiest scenery Bucky had ever seen in person. The river twisted and turned, sparkling where the sun hit it. The rocks of varied sizes were placed like someone had chosen each spot on purpose. He could hear the water, but it was also silent at the same time. It didn’t really make sense but Bucky knew what he meant.

“It’s beautiful,” he whispered. Steve didn’t answer with anything but a smile. “I think I can hear my heartbeat,” Bucky said, placing his hand to his chest. “I don’t know why I’m whispering.” 

Steve led them to a couple of boulders and they sat down. They sat in the quiet for several minutes before Steve said simply, “Silence is a true friend who never betrays.”

“Shakespeare?” Bucky asked.

“No, Confucius,” Steve answered, breaking the silence by getting up and skipping a stone in the water.

“You read a lot of eastern philosophy in college or something?” He asked, not sure whether to join in on the skipping. He decided Steve took the space because he needed it. He stayed put.

Steve turned to him and said, “Never went to college, just read a lot of Zen type stuff. Had too. Needed too. Joined the marines right out of high school. I was 18. Spent 20 years in, lots of time in the middle east and came to find Virgin River when I needed her most. The town’s been good for me. It’s been…” 

Just then a gun shot rang through the air. They both jumped.

“Hunting?” Bucky asked with a shiver. 

Steve came over and removed his zip up and put it around his shoulders, saying, “Could be, might just be the farm community on the outskirts of town.”

“Thank you, won’t you be cold?” Bucky said, pulling the jacket a little closer. There was something very calming about the scent of Steve surrounding him. Nothing like he ever experienced with Brock. This was a new sensation.

“Nope, all alpha. I run pretty hot- I mean…” Bucky laughed as Steve turned three shades of red. “I know what you mean, Steve. It’s fine. I’m a nurse, remember?”

“Yeah, sorry. I see gun shots make you a bit jumpy, too, though.” he left the comment hanging in the air. 

“Bucky hesitated but then took the bait. “Army, 10 years, medic... was neck deep in my share of bodies after gunfights. Ended up too close for comfort and got this.” He held up his prosthetic arm. “Studied enough stateside after to get my R.N. Transferred all that battlefield knowledge to the trauma center at Brooklyn Presbyterian. Got tired of only seeing death and thought about becoming an Omega/Gyn, but med school was expensive as hell and way too long. So Nurse Practitioner first, then midwife.”

“Wow, Bucky. That’s a hell of a progression there. Do you like it, helping omegas, delivering babies?” Steve’s smile was so genuine, Bucky could not keep looking at it. It was like staring into the sun, 

“Oh man, I love it. I’m good at it. I think sometimes the journey makes it worth the destination. I love helping with new life...maybe because I’ve seen so much wasted. Oh hell, I don’t know. Come on, what’s next on the tour?” Bucky realized he was investing, sharing more than he intended. 

Steve was still looking at him. Bucky could feel it, feel the rays of it sinking into his skin. Finally Steve spoke, softly. “Nothing. Now we run back. This was what I wanted you to see. This is the Virgin River. This is the heart of the town.”

Bucky returned Steve’s smile and they made their way back to their shoes and jogged back in comfortable silence. As they ran past Doc’s house towards the Starks, Bucky thought he heard a cat meowing pitifully. 

“You hear that cat, Steve?”

“Yeah, wonder if it’s hurt. Sometimes people bring animals to Doc. Wait...there it is again.”

The sound registered with Bucky just as he glanced up and saw the wicker basket on the porch. “Jesus Steve, that’s a baby crying.”

They ran up and found the baby in the basket on Doc’s porch. 

“Holy shit!” Steve nearly shouted. 

Bucky tried the door and it was open, _country people never lock anything_ he thought to himself. “Can you pick him up and bring him in, I need to wash my hands and get some stuff to examine him.”

“Sure,” Steve said and Bucky could hear Steve talk under his breath to the tiny baby as he lifted him.

Bucky scrubbed his hands in case the umbilicus was not cut and he needed to do it. He grabbed gloves and put them on with a snap. He slipped right into the triage mindset like a pair of comfortable slippers. Airway, temp, hydration, weight. He was on autopilot. 

“Put him on the table and let’s get him unwrapped.” Bucky directed. He could see Steve’s hands shaking as he lifted the baby from the basket. His forehead was drawn in concern. . “He’s okay Steve. He’s crying, that’s a good sign actually.”

Steve looked at Bucky briefly, visibly relieved and Bucky took over undressing the baby to assess him. He pressed the stethoscope to his tiny chest and listened to both sides. “Good heartbeat and great bilateral breath sounds. His lungs are good and clear. He’s not a newborn. Maybe 3 weeks?” 

He tucked the thermometer under the baby’s arm and got a normal reading. “He can’t have been there long, his temp is good.” He checked in the baby’s mouth and then in his diaper. “He’s not dehydrated. Ooops and he’s a she. Her mouth is amply wet and her diaper, too. He lifted her gently and tucked her in the crook of his arm. She might be a tiny bit underweight, but it's hard to tell. All in all she looks pretty good.”

“What do we do now?” Steve asked. 

“Well, technically I don’t work here so I guess we find Doc. Do you have his cell number?” Bucky asked as he rewrapped the baby in a perfect swaddle on the table. 

Steve suddenly looked alarmed. “Today is Wednesday, Doc does house calls on Wednesday. He won’t have reception everywhere he goes.”

“Well, start calling every 20 minutes and I will give social services a call to see what we do in this county.” Bucky picked up the baby and her face was so sweet, It pulled on his heartstrings in ways he had forgotten a baby could. It had been a while since he’d held a baby. She suddenly cried out and Bucky turned to Steve. “We’re going to need diapers and formula pretty damn quick.”

“You bet. I’m on it.” Steve said with a warm smile. 

“What?”

“Nothing...Just that you know what you’re doing and you look so comfortable with that baby.” He blushed from his chest right up to his hairline. 

“Here, you take her for a second while I get the number from Doc’s office.” Brock used to tell him all the time he looked good with a baby. Bucky needed to get out of the room for a minute, before he flashed back to a time before it all happened and fell apart. He was not going to do anyone any good if he got caught up in his emotions. 

Steve took the baby as Bucky shoved her in his arms and when he had her balanced, he called Janet at the general store for baby supplies. Bucky looked so confident and competent when he was examining the baby. It wasn’t until he was holding hervin his arms that Steve thought he saw true sadness flash across Bucky’s face. He kept the melancholy look as he went to find what he needed in Doc’s office. 

He was walking around the room when he saw the slip of paper on the floor. He read it. “Hey Bucky. They left a note.” 

“Please take good care of her and tell her I did it because she deserved better and make sure she knows I love her. No name? What do we call her?” Steve felt awful for the baby. Everyone deserves a name. 

Steve heard the front door and Janet Lang rushed into the room with large shopping bags. “I brought all sorts of things I thought you might need. Formula, bottled water to mix it, and diapers in this bag... bottles, wipes and a few onesies and outfits I had in the other. Oh, goodness, she is so tiny and sweet. Does she look like anyone?”

“She looks like a baby,” Steve said. 

Bucky found them in the waiting room and took over. They mixed a bottle of formula and Bucky set it in a cup of hot water to warm. He changed her diaper. Steve watched as Bucky checked for diaper rash or any other concerns. “She really seems fine. I wonder why they kept her and didn’t give her up when she was born? You’d think they’d be attached by now.” 

Steve didn’t answer Bucky. He wasn’t really expecting an answer, anyway. Steve’s phone rang. Bucky hoped it was Doc. He answered quickly. “Hey can I call you back, something came up. Okay. Bye.” 

He wondered who had called Steve but it wasn’t his business. The baby fussed a little so Bucky took her to find the bottle and try to feed her. The bottle was warm and Bucky touched her cheek, hoping to get her to root and look for the nipple. No go, so he rubbed it gently on her bottom lip and slipped it into her opening mouth. She took one good draw before making a terrible face and wailing in protest. 

“Damn it, just what I was worried about. She was breastfed and now she is not going to take this bottle easily.” 

“Well,” Steve wondered aloud, “Will she eat if she gets hungry enough?”

“Breast fed babies can be pretty stubborn. My concern is she might get dehydrated with all of the crying and not eating. We really need social services. They were closed and I didn’t want to call the emergency number in case Doc has a connection he usually works with on cases. “

Steve kept trying Doc and Bucky kept working with the baby. Sometimes she ate and sometimes she refused. The longer they were at it, the more sadness crept into Bucky’s features. It was hard for Steve to watch Bucky hold it together when he could tell something more than just an abandoned baby was bothering the omega. 

About mid afternoon, Doc returned from his house calls. Steve and Bucky were both exhausted. The baby was not, or at least did not act it. 

“Whose baby is that?” Doc demanded.

“We have no idea. She was abandoned on your porch in a basket.” Bucky said, sounding as tired and frustrated as he looked. “We need you to call social services. I waited for you, figuring you had a connection.”

“Why the hell would I call social services before trying to find out whose baby it is?” Doc asked sharply. “We’re not calling them in, they’ll take her and then when we find the omega, it will be too late.” 

At some point in the day, Bucky had thrown all his hair up into the hair tie so that it would not fall into the baby’s face when Bucky cared for her and attempted to comfort her. Bucky remembered he had done it just as he needed to make a serious point. He regretfully felt his hair wobbled as he spoke.

“You know as well as I do that there are protocols for these situations. You can’t just keep a baby that has been abandoned,” Bucky insisted. 

“Well this is my office, and that makes her my patient and if you don’t like my decisions, you know where to find the door. Now I need to do a little asking around to see if I can find who she belongs to” 

“This would never happen like this in Brooklyn,” Bucky groaned, nearing the end of what he could tolerate from this guy who was supposed to be held to a higher accountability.

“Buddy, you’re not in Brooklyn. We do things a little slower if it means we can help our own,” Doc huffed out.

Part of Bucky wanted to call bulshit, but the other part of him realized that maybe the guy had a point. It was a small town. It was probably a teenager who hadn't told their parents and were scared. He caved. 

“Fine, but what are you going to do with her in the meantime?”

“Well I guess I assumed that since you were a midwife, you could handle it.” Doc said dryly. 

“Even though you fired me?” Bucky threw a tight glance back at him, sarcasm slicing the words out. 

Doc just glared as he left Bucky with the baby in his arms. 

Steve stepped back towards Bucky from the waiting area. “Well that went well.”

“Hey, don’t you bust my balls, too. It’s been a long day,” Bucky said, shifting the baby up to his shoulder. She _was_ really sweet. Bucky missed the baby smell. It was not going to be easy, but he could do it, one night with a baby…

“Hey, Bucky? Hello?”

He must have been lost in thought longer than he realized. “Oh yeah, sorry.”

“I said, I hate to do this to you, but I’ve been gone from the bar for too long and I gotta prep and do the dinner shift with Sam.”

“Sure, sure. No problem. We’ll be fine. Won’t we?” he cooed at the baby as he rocked his hips, slowly to keep her dozing. 

“Well, Janet and Scott Lang run the general store, the towing garage, and the Virgin River phone tree,” Steve said with a bit of mischief in his voice. “I’m sure the whole town knows about this by now. I bet backup will arrive soon.”

“Steve, I am an omega, a nurse, and a midwife. I can handle one baby.”

“I’m just saying, don’t be surprised if help starts pouring in. Come by the bar for dinner. Wednesday Sam makes a mean chicken and biscuits.”

“Maybe we will. Let me see how she does...and Steve?”

“Yeah, Buck?

“Thanks for today, for the tour, for the talk, it was nice.”

“You bet, anytime. I enjoyed it, too. I mean not the abandoned baby part, but...you know-”

“Go to work, Steve. I know what you meant.”

Bucky put the baby back in the basket and she slept for a bit. He laid down on one of the sofas and took a short nap. He jolted awake, not knowing how long he had slept, but by the sun coming through the windows, he could tell it was later in the afternoon. 

He did his best to clean up in the bathroom, but he really needed a shower. He let his hair down and then put it right back up. It was sweaty when he put it up and now there was no fixing it without a shower. He heard footsteps and made his way towards them. 

There was a man, omega if he read the scent correctly. “Hey, can I help you?”

“Hi, Clint Barton. I live out on my farm and got a call on the phone tree about the baby. I had some things from...some things I thought you could use.” 

“Bucky Barnes, nurse/midwife. Nice to meet you Clint.” Then Bucky noticed the stroller and swing, plus what looked like a small basket of clothes. 

“Wow this is great, very helpful, thanks. Steve said it wouldn’t take long for people to show up.”. Clint shrugged in response. 

“How’s she doing? I heard she wasn’t eating well. That true?” Clint asked, he looked tired. 

“She was probably nursed by the way she fusses at the bottle. We’re working on it. She’s okay for now, but I’d like her to eat more. I think Doc’s calling social services if we don’t find her omega by morning.”

“You know, I could stay with her a while. I mean, I know we don’t know each other, but omegas help each other out, right? No offense, yo look like you could use a shower, maybe something to eat.”

“Oh geez, am I that bad. Steve had taken me for a running tour, and then, well…” Bucky tried unsuccessfully to straighten his appearance again.

“No, no...I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant at all. You look beat, like it’s been a day, that’s all.”

“Clint, if I’m being honest, it has been a day. You have kids of your own, you can handle her?”

“It’s been a while, but yeah. I’m good.”

Bucky sighed, “Then, I’m gonna take you up on your offer. I’ll take a quick shower and then run by Steve’s for a quick dinner. An hour or so?”

“Take your time, I got her. I promise.” Clint said with a tired smile. 

***

Bucky let the hot water sluice over his tired body. Washing off the sweat of the day felt terrific. He’d forgotten how much tension crisis situations could sink into his muscles, especially around where his left arm attached. He tended to hold the baby in his left arm so he could use his right hand to work, and clearly that arm had forgotten how an eight or nine pound baby could feel like a sack of potatoes you had to carry wherever you went. 

He put on comfortable jeans and a maroon henley that could handle the mess of a baby. He even spent a little time on his hair, using the gel that kept it from getting out of control when he dried it. He wasn’t sure why it mattered. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone, he should just throw it back and not care. But after his shower and the nice time he had that morning, he felt like it. It wasn’t for Steve or anything...it wasn’t. 

He threw on his pea coat and headed over to Steve’s Bar to grab some food. He realized in the shower that he was starving and that he had not eaten anything all day. He used to have days like that at the hospital and birthing center. He’d get busy and forget to eat. 

Steve was bouncing around during the busy dinner time and Bucky sat at the bar. Sam came over and handed him a menu. 

“No need, I hear your special is the dish to try,” Bucky said, pushing the menu back towards the cook.

Sam’s serious face broke into a wide smile, a really warm smile. “Chicken and biscuits for the kale salad boy? I am pleasantly surprised. Coming right up, and you won’t regret it,” He shouted as he passed through the swinging doors into the kitchen. 

Bucky did not regret one single bite. Steve stopped and said hello a few times, but he was hopping most of the shift. Bucky had seen him answer his cell phone a couple of times, not that Bucky was watching him or anything. His face was drawn after each phone call. It would change as he spoke to his customers, the bright smile, the teasing eyebrow lift, the hearty laugh. Bucky could feel it, even from across the room. He caught Bucky watching him and kept eye contact as he walked to the bar. Bucky broke it when he felt his face heat. 

“Hey, Buck. Where’s our girl?” Bucky choked on his sip of soda. “Hey, you okay?”

Steve patted him on the back. “I’m fine, swallowed wrong. Someone named Clint came with some things for the baby and offered to stay with her.”

Both Steve’s eyebrows flew up. “Clint came to Doc’s?”

“Yeah, why is he bad, maybe I should go.”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s just that Clint lost his family in an accident several months ago and keeps to himself on his farm. Just surprised is all. I’m glad, just...wow?”

“That’s awful. Explains why he looked so worn out, though. I wondered about that.” Bucky empathized with Clint. 

“I mean it makes sense, he’s an omega and had kids. Maybe he wanted to feel useful. It’s been a hard time for him.”

“Bucky nodded and finished the last bite of his dinner. That was fabulous but I’m gonna have to run more than five miles if I keep eating like that. I suppose we can’t run tomorrow, I’ll have the baby.” 

“Probably right.” Steve sucked in a breath that sounded a little nervous, “I have something I have to do tonight.. I won’t be able to help you, I’m sorry about that.”

“Oh, no worries. I can handle her. She’s gonna sleep anyway. I’ll just keep her with me at the Stark’s. I bet they can help.” 

Bucky didn’t stay much longer wanting to check on the baby. “Hey, Steve, I’m gonna run and relieve Clint. Thanks for the help today. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You’re welcome. I’ve got a full plate tomorrow, I’ll do my best to come around.” Steve looked away as he spoke, not like him at all. Usually Bucky had to look away first. Bucky shook it off and headed back to Doc’s to get the baby and head home for the night. 

Bucky found Clint asleep in a chair with the baby cradled against him sound asleep. They both looked so peaceful. He tried not to disturb them and packed some of the baby things in his car he had walked to pick up. Everything fit in his trunk and back seat. He brought all the supplies her would need, the stroller, and the basket for her to sleep in. The seat of the stroller was the car seat as well, So he buckled that into the back seat ahead of time. He found Clint stirring when he returned.

“Oh, hey, I didn’t mean to wake you. Looks like you’ve got the magic touch, ” Bucky observed. 

“No biggie, I just changed her and she ate well, and I must have dozed off,” Clint answered, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. 

“Farm work is hard work, right?” Bucky said in an attempt to make light conversation. He was trying not to act like he knew Clint’s hardships. Clint had not shared that with him. 

Clint shrugged, “So they say, I’m sort of used to it. Just earlier nights is all.” 

“Well, I’m going to get her back to my place for the night. Thank you so much for giving me the chance to clean up and grab dinner.” Bucky could hear his voice go where he did not intend it to...way too telling.

“I’m sure Steve told you my tales. I don’t want your pity. I was happy to be helpful and useful. No big deal, alright?”

Bucky hung his head and regrouped. He looked at Clint sincerely. “Listen, I’m sorry. I was trying not to go there, but since I did, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. It must have been hard to do this tonight. Just know that I can empathize on some level and if you ever need anything, let me know.”

“Sure. Thanks.” Clints answer didn’t give Bucky much to work with, but he hoped Clint knew he meant it. 

Clint stood and kissed the baby on the head before gently passing her to Bucky and going quietly out the front door. Bucky packed her into her seat and drove to the Starks. He hoped it would not be a long night. 

Pepper helped him carry in the baby stuff while Tony held the baby and made the most ridiculous and adorable baby talk Bucky had heard in a long time. They let him give the baby a bath in the kitchen so he could use the counter. She was obviously well cared for. She seemed a little happier after Clint’s visit. The three of them giggled and fawned over the sweet girl and got her dressed in an adorable set of pink pajamas for bedtime. 

“Goodnight and thanks, guys,” Bucky said as he headed to his room. 

“Call us if you need backup, Pepper could use the practice,” Tony teased. Bucky could hear Pepper admonish him right back. They were really a cute couple. 

Bucky had brought a bottle and did his best to get her to eat about half before giving up and just rocking her in front of the big window in his room. The moon was huge and when it was full and round like this, it troubled Bucky…

_It had been a full moon when Bucky had gone into labor. In his experience as a midwife, it was not the best time to do so. Still he was doing well and even though the pain was rough, Brock had been supportive the whole way. He was just beginning to push when it got unbearable. He really wanted the epidural. It was far too late for that and Bucky just had to bear it till the end. He remembered pushing for an hour, not really awful for a first time omega. The last push felt very different and then he woke up. Placental abruption. Nothing anyone could have predicted or prevented. She was gone. Brock kept asking if he wanted to hold her, but it just wouldn't sink in. Bucky spiraled into a pit of despair after losing Winnie. He had named her for his mom, Winifred._

A snuffle from the bundle in his arms caught his attention and it occurred to him that the baby had no name and they were all just referring to her as _the baby._ Everyone deserves a name and Bucky thought why the hell not. His only comfort in losing Winnie was that he knew his mother would greet her and hold her like he couldn’t. Maybe giving this baby her name, too, even if temporary, would mean his mom would keep an eye on her as well. It certainly couldn’t hurt. 

“Winnie,” Bucky whispered to her. “I like it, do you?” and as if on cue, Bucky saw her smile for the first time. “Winnie it is, then.”

***

Steve shut the door behind him and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He was going to need it. He had not wanted to come at all, but he’d been avoiding this for a couple of days now. 

Lorraine was in one of her silky robes and that was not a good sign. “What kept you?”

“Work, Steve replied. 

Lorraine approached him and giving her best seductive look, she said, “You know I don’t like to talk about work.”

This... _arrangement_ he had with Lorraine had started two years ago. They met in Clear Springs at a bar and hooked up. Steve made it clear that he only wanted a hook up before they left the bar that night. Lorraine had agreed. She’d had a bad break up and just wanted someone fun once in a while. Now, however, Steve got a feeling that Lorainne might be trying to put a label to what they were. Still, he was clear with her about his feelings and wishes. 

She began to kiss him and he turned away. His mind turned to Bucky and the connection Steve had felt, one sided or not. Tonight felt wrong and yet, he knew Bucky had on a ring. He had processed through just being friends with Bucky. He was friends with Lorraine, with benefits of course, but it was mutual. If he wanted out of this agreement, he should tell her, but he had agreed to come over, so despite his reservations, he gave in and they fell into bed together. 

When Steve woke it was early morning. He got up and searched for his clothes, dressing quickly. 

Lorraine rolled over and whined, “Come back to bed, I’ll make breakfast very interesting…”

“Sorry, I have to work on a project with Peter. We are fixing up Natasha’s family cabin.” He didn’t have the heart to tell her that half way through when the sex went from mediocre to fantastic, it was because her hair had suddenly appeared brown and her eyes the palest shade of gray. Christ.

“Hey, next Friday after dinner, let’s spend the night at your place? How ‘bout it?’

Steve fought the groan in his throat. “Why, we always come here. That was the deal, your place here in Clear Water.”

“Yeah, but next Friday is our anniversary, two years together, it might be nice to stay at yours for a change.”

“I don’t think so, I like things the way they are. Plus you know we aren’t keeping track of this. We both agreed to it.” Steve didn’t wait to see if she looked disappointed. They had a deal, if she didn’t want it anymore, she needed to let him know. 

***

Steve was sweaty and grumpy as he aggressively broke through the wall in the cabin to extend two rooms into a larger one. He was going to make it a master bedroom for Bucky. 

“Geez Steve. What did that wall ever do to you?” Peter looked concerned.

“Oh, nothing, sorry. Missed my workout yesterday so using demo as a replacement for upper body. Got a little carried away is all.” 

They continued to work on the cabin most of the morning, Peter clearing the outside of brush, cobwebs and junk, and emptying the inside into a dumpster Steve had rented. He was not putting one stick of crappy furniture back into this cabin. It was going to be a complete makeover. Natasha had old money, she could afford it. She didn’t even take a salary from the town. 

When his stomach began to rumble, he and Peter called it quits and headed to the bar for lunch. Steve had taken Peter under his wing. He’d graduated last year but was taking a gap year to decide what to do with himself. Steve gave the 19 year old a job and kept him busy with side work as well, like this cabin job. He was pretty sure the kid wanted to join the military and Steve just hoped he could change his mind and save him some pain. 

***

Doc had left a note saying he had rescheduled his appointments and was out following a few leads on the baby. Bucky spent the day with Winnie. It was fall and chilly, but Clint had brought clothes that would keep her bundled in the stoller. He tucked blankets around her to fight off any chill. Bucky walked all over town, hoping the fresh air would help her appetite and tire her out a bit. He always swore he'd have a fresh air baby. Their first stop was Sharon’s Sweets truck for a latte and a delectable cinnamon bun that Bucky should not be allowed to eat again lest he become addicted. 

They explored the town on foot. It really was a great little town. Every single person greeted them and offered their assistance should Bucky need it. This was a place Bucky could get used to. The general store was charming, he stopped to buy a few simple toys for Winnie. And people loved that he had named her however temporary. They had lunch at a little diner that served breakfast and lunch only, where they even warmed a bottle for Winnie. 

It was the afternoon and Winne had dozed on and off but Bucky wanted to get her to the office to settle her down for a good nap. He was trying to do just that when Steve showed up. 

“Hey, just trying to get her down, what’s up?”

“Nothing, just checking in on you two.” Bucky would never get used to seeing Steve’s smile. 

“We’re good,” he answered as he methodically rocked her, to settle her. 

They heard footsteps and turned to find Clint coming with a small basket clutched in his hands. “Hey, I found some more onesies and pajamas, she must be blowing through clothes like crazy, thought you could use them.”

“Clint, how are you. It’s been a while.” Steve greeted the omega, offering his hand. Clint shook it.

“I’m good, thanks. Farm keeps me busy.” 

“That’s good. Hey if you ever-”

“Thanks, Steve, I know. I appreciate it. But I really came by to see if Bucky here needed another break. The baby and I did well together yesterday, so I was thinking I might give it a go again. I mean if you need me to.” 

Bucky smiled down at the baby. “Winnie and I had a busy day today, huh, sweetie.”

Clint visibly swallowed. “Winnie?”

“Oh it was my mother’s name and I didn’t know hers. It felt wrong to just call her baby,” Bucky explained. 

“I like it,” Clint answered solemnly. .

“She kind of looks like a Winnie,” Steve chimed in. “Hey Bucky, why don’t you let Clint keep her for an hour or so, I got something I want to show you and we can grab a quick dinner.”

“I’m not worn out or anything. She’s no trouble, really. I mean I wish she’d finish a bottle, and I really need to talk to Doc,” Bucky replied, but the thought of dinner with Steve was tempting, of course in a friend sort of manner. 

“I’m sure she’s not, but you have her all night on your own, and Clint’s here...”

Bucky smiled and passed the baby to Clint. He and Steve headed out on foot. Steve led him back behind his bar to a wooded area that was caged in with chain link fencing. "Now don’t look so nervous, this just keeps the kids out." 

Steve unlocked a shed in the area and got out a shiny axe. It all began to make sense. There were two trees at the far end of the fenced area and they looked like they’d been chopped. 

“Axe throwing?” Bucky asked curiously.

“Yup, you ever try it?”

“Nope, but it’s getting popular in the city, believe it or not.”

Steve wiped the axe with a cloth and said, “I believe it, It’s pretty fun and it's a workout for your shoulders.” He threw the first axe and hit the tree dead center. 

Bucky fought a whine is his throat by clearing it. “Nice shot.”

“Technically it’s referred to as a throw,” Steve said pulling the axe from the tree. 

“Well, good throw then,” Bucky said sarcastically. Steve smiled at him.

“You want to give it a go?” Steve offered.

“Yeah but you're gonna have to show me how first,” Bucky answered. 

Steve explained and Bucky threw, but the axe bounced off the trunk. Steve explained again and Bucky threw it again, same result.

“Here, you’re holding your wrist wrong and the axe is over rotating. Let me help you get the form right.” Steve came up behind Bucky and Bucky took the axe in his grip. Steve corrected the angle of Bucky's elbow and wrist and said, “Now just like that but extend at the very end.”

Bucky felt the warmth of the alpha as he came up behind him. Steve was large, like encompassing large. Bucky was not small, but Steve made him feel encased in the best of ways. Bucky could hardly pay attention to the directions, not with the temptation of rubbing his face into the full beard that was so close to his own scruff, though he tried really hard to focus. Bucky never felt like this with Brock. That was part of their problem. Bucky loved Brock, but never felt this connection with him. 

“You got it?” Steve asked as he moved out of Bucky’s throwing range. 

Bucky’s voice cracked as he fought to answer with a simple, “Yes.”

Bucky rolled his shoulders and cleared his mind of his impure thoughts. He shouldn’t have those pictures in his mind when throwing an axe. “I think maybe my metal arm knocks me off balance. I think I got it this time.” He used the tips Steve had given him but he also counterbalanced a bit as he released the axe.

“Bingo!” Steve shouted when the axe thunked into the wood. “Awesome job, Buck.”

Jesus Bucky preened at that praise. He jogged up to grab the axe to distract himself. 

“Now it’s on and we play HORSE with an axe!” Steve said like an excited kid. 

They did play and Bucky won to Steve’s delight. They headed to the bar and grabbed some of Sam’s fantastic chili with the works and honey cornbread. Steve had to stay because the bar had gotten slammed, so Bucky walked back to Doc’s on his own. Halfway there, he stopped and looked at his phone. Doc had texted and said his leads were all dead. He’d try again tomorrow. Bucky thought about Winnie and made what he knew was the correct professional decision. He placed a call to Social Services and reported Winnie as abandoned. They would be there some time the next day. 

It was quiet in the office so Bucky assumed Clint had fallen asleep again, he tiptoed further into the room and found the basket of clothes. It looked vaguely familiar. Shit! It was the same weave as the basket they found the baby in, only smaller. It couldn’t be…As Bucky rounded the corner, he found Clint in one of the stuffed chairs in Doc’s office. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” Bucky said just loud enough for Clint to hear, but not to scare Winnie. 

Clint looked up from nursing the baby, _his baby_ , and said, “Wait, I can explain.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has flash thoughts and flashbacks to his and Brock's struggle with infertility and the tragic loss of their baby.


	4. Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint gets the help he needs and Bucky feels like things might be going his way, until they don't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, everyone on the carpet for circle time. I need to tell you some things I did not share before. I rarely write a fic that doesn't at least approach 100K. I'm wordy. Ask my daughter what it's like when I tell a story. Anyway I also tear up a lot of shit before I fix it. But rest assured my good readers, I always finish with a happy ending. I am a chronic yo yo dieter, and I write fic the same way. I fix one thing that hurts and then rip your heart out in the very next paragraph. Buckle up, this fic is going to be a doozy. 
> 
> Warnings for reference to past sad birth talk again. Bucky mentions he felt hopeless enough to not be alive.

Bucky wanted to jump on Clint and ask every question that popped into his head, but he slowed his thoughts and was able to compartmentalize his feelings. Clearly there was a huge issue here. Clint needed Bucky to be in his court as a medical professional to help him through whatever was going on.

“It’s okay Clint. It’s just me. Just you and me and the baby,” Bucky tried to reassure Clint as he had immediately jumped to his feet in what Bucky recognized as flight mode. 

Clint's posture relaxed, but he remained standing. “Word was she wasn’t eating, so I couldn’t bear for her to be hungry. I thought I’d help until you guys got her figured out.”

“That was smart, Clint. I thought she looked more relaxed around you. She loves you. It’s obvious you love her. What happened? Can you tell me?” 

So many thoughts ran through Bucky’s mind. How did Clint get pregnant? Was it against his will? Bucky shuddered to think of an omega with a broken bond due to the death of his alpha and what could happen if he was assaulted by another alpha. Also, maybe it was not an assault, Bucky did not know exactly when he lost his family. Several months he’d been told. 

“Why don’t we just sit for a bit, and you can finish feeding the baby while we chat. I promise not to pressure you, but Clint...I called social services tonight because I thought we didn’t know who she belonged to.”

“What does that mean, exactly?” Clint asked. He looked as exhausted as ever. Bucky was really concerned about his health, physically, but also mentally. 

“It means that someone is coming tomorrow to take your baby and put her in foster care.” Bucky thought he'd add the _your_ in front of _baby_ to see how Clint would feel about that. 

“Will they give her a good family?”

“Clint, tell me what happened? Are you okay?” Bucky left his questions open ended to let Clint fill in the story.

“Nothing happened. I was pregnant and didn’t know it when Laura and the kids were in the accident. Little Nate lived after the crash but died a week later in the hospital. I thought I was just sick from losing them, from being up all hours at Nate’s crib in the hospital.”

Bucky thought his heart would crumble to the fucking floor watching Clint say those words. “Clint, I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, me too. But I realized the feeling after the funeral and things got quiet on the farm. People were coming to help, but I had to stop them because I knew I was going to start showing and I didn’t know what to do. I mean, it shouldn’t have mattered, but I was not thinking straight. I didn’t know what people would say.” 

Bucky realized he had tapped in and Clint was going to let it out so he just kept feeding him focusing questions. Clint relaxed enough that he even shuffled his clothing to nurse the baby when she began to fuss.

“Did you have any prenatal care? Where did you deliver her?”

“She’s my fourth…” he took a deep shuddering breath before continuing. “So I knew what to expect and when the pregnancy seemed to progress like the others, I just kept working the farm. I shopped two towns over for things I couldn’t grow or raise myself. We have, I have cows, chickens, a garden, you know self sufficient for the most part. Laura and I wanted the kids…” Bucky saw tears run down his cheeks so he gave Clint a minute. When he wiped his eyes, Bucky acknowledged by offering tissues. 

“Anyway, Doc delivered my first three, right in the farmhouse, so when the time came, I just let it happen naturally. I had gotten a few books and read up on home delivery. Did you know you can order a vitamin K shot for animals and it’s the same for babies. You just adjust the dose.” 

“Clint, that must have been so hard.” 

“Yeah, not as hard as after. I tried for a couple of weeks, but I can’t give her what she needs. I still can’t get out of bed some days. She needs more. She needs someone who isn’t sad. I can’t do it.” He stopped nursing her and fixed his shirt. He was going to leave. 

Just as Bucky was going to try to explain what postpartum depression was, and Clint certainly was suffering from it, Doc walked in.

“I have to go, see you guys later,” he barked, shooting a pleading look at Bucky when he shoved the baby in his arms. Bucky let him go. He needed to talk to Doc.

“What was that all about?” Doc asked curiously.

Bucky sighed, “Clint is Winnie’s dad.”

“What are you talking about. Laura died in an accident months ago. He can’t-”

“I just found him in your office, nursing her Doc.” 

“You can’t...you don’t know what your talking about.”

“How many months?” Buck interrupted softly. When Doc didn’t answer, he repeated his question, gently. “How many months ago was the accident. Do the math Doc.”

“Oh man, like 8 months, tops. It’s totally possible. But how? He never…” Doc dropped into the chair in his office.

“He stopped people from helping so they wouldn’t see. He delivered that baby all by himself in his house. Can you imagine how frightening that was? Plus I think he’s suffering from postpartum depression. He’s definitely got it or he wouldn’t have just left her. He made her a hand woven bassinet. It's the basket he left her in. He was preparing for her. He must have been looking forward to it at some point. I think the grief of the accident, being alone, the hormones…”

“Jesus, I never checked on him. How many months and I never checked on him.” Bucky saw the wheels turning and it was like he watched the doctor come to the realization that he was spread too thin and that he’d missed something. 

“It’s not your fault, Doc. You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have known. He is my patient. I should-”

“Doc, we need to shift gears here. I have to tell you something. We have a timeline on this now. I called social services and they're coming tomorrow.”

“What? You had no right to do that?”

“I had an obligation. Face it. You had no leads on the omega and it was going on two days. It had to be done, we were not in compliance with procedure, even for Virgin River.” Bucky stood his ground, he knew he had done the right thing. It was too bad that he found out about Clint after the call, but social services did not always mean removal of the baby, and Clint certainly needed help. They would get it for him. When it was over, Bucky would go. It was clear that Doc was not going to budge on letting him in the practice. He barely trusted Bucky’s word and he’d seen the baby at Clint’s breast for Christ’s sake. 

“I’ll keep Winnie with me tonight.” Bucky stated.

“I’m going out to talk with Clint. He’s my patient, I've cared for him for years. He’ll listen to me.”

“Doc, tread lightly, postpartum is rough, he may need time. When this is done, I’ll be going.”

The man didn’t even respond to him, just kept walking. There was his answer.

***

Bucky and Winnie had a relatively good night and they stayed at the Stark’s waiting for word on Clint. Around lunchtime, Steve showed up in his truck. 

“Hey, I packed a picnic, let’s go have some lunch, I know a good spot,” he suggested.

Bucky was going to refuse, but what did he have on his hands but time. He might regret it, but it might be a nice distraction. “Alright, but I have to pack for Winnie and you have to install the car seat.”

Steve drove them to another section of the river that was easily accessible and had soft grass to lay out the picnic blanket. They ate sandwiches and fruit and cupcakes from Sharon’s truck. They enjoyed Winnie and the sounds of the river flowing by. Virgin River certainly had little pockets of beauty amid the conflict he’d experienced with Doc. He’d certainly miss Steve. 

Winnie was asleep in her basket and they were on either side of it, eating fruit and chatting.

“She looks so peaceful when she sleeps.” Bucky remarked.

“What I wouldn’t give for half that peace when I slept.” Steve added. Bucky wondered what he meant, but figured Steve might struggle with dreams from his time as a marine. Bucky knew he had trouble himself from all his trauma.

“You always seem so calm, cool, and collected,” Steve continued.

Bucky chuckled, “It’s just practice. You can’t show patients in an ER anything but calm or you can set off the wiley ones.”

“Ah, another peek behind the curtain,” Steve teased.

“What’s that supposed to mean, “ Bucky asked placidly.

“Well, it’s just that you moved to a new town in the middle of nowhere... on your own, went head to head with a cantankerous boss, stood your ground for what you believed in, should I go on?”

Bucky shrugged.

“It’s impressive, that’s all.” Steve observed. 

Bucky glanced over at Steve who was a little pink in the cheeks. Maybe this was more than Bucky gave Steve credit for, more than a distraction. Maybe there was some attraction or connection. 

“Is that what you think of me? Impressive?” Bucky inquired demurely. 

“Yeah,” Steve answered almost shyly. Bucky looked at him, really stopped and looked at the man who had put himself out so many times for him since Bucky had arrived a few short days ago. Steve looked unassuming, a bit bashful, then changed the subject. 

“If we are being honest, I know about Clint,” Steve admitted. 

And there it was, the real reason for the picnic. Bucky was silly to let himself think Steve was interested in him. He was just what Bucky thought, a distraction.

“Doc had no right to tell you.”

“He didn’t, Natasha did.”

“Christ, have none of you ever heard of HIPA laws? Clint has a right to his privacy.” Bucky’s thoughts went to the sad omega. The man needed help not gossip. He’d been there, Bucky _knew_. 

“He also told her that you said you were leaving. I think you should stay.” 

“I don’t think Virgin River is for me. Doc doesn’t want me. After this Clint thing gets settled, I’m going to have to go.”

Great, loose lips and self serving requests. Did all alphas think it was just that easy? This was not new to Bucky, not at all...

_The bedroom door opened and Brock came in to find Bucky in the same position he’d been in when Brock left for his shift at the hospital. Bucky didn't know if it was day or night and he didn’t care. He just kept taking pills from the bottles on the nightstand, like clockwork, to keep himself numb._

_“Babe, you promised you’d get up and shower today.”_

_Bucky did not answer._

_“You have to get out of this bed. You need to. This isn't healthy anymore.” Brock's voice used to be pleading with him, now after weeks of Bucky’s paralyzing postpartum depression, Brock was only short and almost angry._

_“I need you, Bucky. I need you to get up and get back to normal. This is going on too long.” he climbed on the bed and tried to curl up behind Bucky, but Bucky knew the comfort was for Brock and not him._

_Bucky began to sob, loud, long, sad sobs, “I can’t get up. I miss her. It’s too hard and I’m not strong enough. I can’t do it. I can’t. I can’t”_

“I think you can,” Bucky heard but it wasn’t Brock.

“What?”

“You said you can’t do it, but I think you can, if you really want to.” Steve said with a genuine look of sincerity.

“You don’t know me very well, “ Bucky huffed.

“I know you fight for what you believe in.”

Winnie cried out and Bucky dashed to the blanket to pick her up. “Hey there, shhh,” he whispered to comfort her.

Steve continued, “If Winnie gets into the social services system, I know you’ll find another way to help them. You know why I know that? Because you are relentless when it comes to helping people.” 

Winnie settled in his arms, finding comfort with him. 

“Look at that, she quieted right down with you. Never say never, Buck.” 

They wrapped up the picnic and headed back to the clinic to check in with Doc. They found him there with Natahsa.

“How’d it go?” Bucky asked. 

“He wouldn’t even let me in.” Doc answered, sounding very defeated. “I’ve known him for years, cared for him for all this time. I don’t understand.”

“Doc, postpartum is tricky, and I think we both agree he probably has it. You can’t blame yourself.”

Natasha elbowed the doctor and whispered, harshly, “ _Ask him_.”

“Ask me what?”

Doc hesitated and Natasha elbowed him again. “It’s just that it’s not often I can’t...that I have a situation where I can’t… And this depression thing is a tough situation.”

“If you're asking if I’ll go out and speak to Clint, I’ll do it.” Bucky finished for him.

“Well, It’s not like you can make it any worse, right?” Doc answered awkwardly. 

“You know, I don’t need your approval. I’m good at what I do, ” Bucky retorted.

Doc shot back, “It's just that if you had listened to me, social services would not be coming to take Clint’s baby.”

Bucky crossed his arms and spoke firmly, “I am never going to apologize for doing my job correctly. Ever.” 

“No of course you won’t. Because you don’t understand that in Virgin River, we believe our job is to take care of each other, not just ourselves-”

Steve interjected, “Whoa, wait a minute, let’s just remember why we’re here. We all just want what’s best for Clint and the baby.”

Doc conceded in a nod.

Natasha spoke up, “Steve, can you drive us out to Clint’s so Doc here can wait for social services?”

Steve picked up the baby seat, looking at Bucky, “You can ride shotgun.” 

“Wait, why doesn’t Bucky wait for social services, he called them?” Doc questioned. 

Natasha raised both her arms in the air, “Bruce, you are stomping on my last nerve, for once, just do as you're told?”

***

Steve held the car seat with a sleeping Winnie in it. He and Natasha waited out of view as Bucky tried to talk to Clint. It seemed that Clint would not let him in, as they talked on the porch. He felt bad, but he and Natasha both were quiet and listened. 

“I’m talked out. I’m done, I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“Listen Clint. I know you feel awful right now, alone, maybe ashamed...”

“I left my baby in a basket on the porch and I’m letting social services take her.”

“Clint, I think you’re experiencing a hormonal imbalance. It has nothing to do with being a good dad or a good omega. I honestly think you have postpartum depression. It makes you see things differently, it alters your perception of reality. But there is good news, because it is completely treatable. 

“I told Doc, I can’t keep her. I can’t give her what she needs. I'm not who I used to be. I’m not able to be a good Dad.” Clint said sadly.

“Clint, I know you're tired. You’re not yourself. I don’t know you well yet, but I think you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for,” Bucky sympathized. 

“I gave my baby away. I am not a good person right now.”

“You are a good person. You made sure she was cared for when you carried her, you told me so yourself. You researched how to deliver her safely on your own and you had lovely clean clothes for her. Don’t forget you came to her aid to nurse her when you heard she wasn’t eating.” Bucky wa trying hard to convince Clint there was hope.

“Listen, I appreciate you trying to help, but I’ve made up my mind. She needs a family, not a ragged old farmer to raise her. I can’t. With Laura gone, it’s too much for me.”

Bucky had tried it all and couldn't even get in the house. If Clint was set in his decision, Bucky needed to do one thing for him. 

“If that’s what you really want, I understand. But I need you to do one thing for me, for yourself really, before I go?”

Steve saw Bucky wave them to come to the porch. He saw Clint’s reaction and it wasn’t good.

“Oh Jesus, does the whole town know?”

Bucky said softly , “No, it’s just Steve and Natasha.” Steve was amazed at how well Bucky was dealing with Clint. He was calm and caring. 

“I can’t see them like this, they must think i'm such an asshole.” Clint choked out.

“They think you’re not feeling well, and they just want to help.They are worried about you and want to support you. But you need to see your baby. This is your last chance to say goodbye. Trust me, you’re going to want that.” 

“Is this some sort of trick?” Clint asked suspiciously.

“No, no trick, but social services are on their way and if this is your final decision, you need to say goodbye now.”

Clint let out a deep sad sigh, stepped back, and let them all in the front door. They didn’t talk much but he held the baby. When the silence got awkward and they knew he was not going to talk, Natasha motioned them out of the living room. 

“Let me sit with him for a while, all three of us staring at him is not helping. Go for a walk or something, maybe I can get through to him,” Natasha said to them. 

“I don't want to go far, not with social services coming. I made the call, I have to be here,” Bucky argued. 

“I think Natahsa is right, its weird with all of us just sitting there. I’m sure I am not making him comfortable with my alpha concern,” Steve offered. 

“Natasha is an alpha.” Bucky argued his point again.

“Yeah but they dated in high school, so they have a level of comfort with each other.”

Bucky looked shocked at what Steve had said. Steve pleaded, “Come on, we can just walk the farm a bit. Natasha can call when they come.” 

Steve was glad when Bucky blew out a breath and agreed to go for a walk. They had walked quite a way in companionable silence. Steve liked that he and Bucky didn’t always feel the need to fill the silence. It seemed a mutual peace with just being near the other person. 

Bucky finally spoke, “This is a big farm for just Clint, let alone Clint and a newborn.”

“Yeah, When Laura and the kids were killed, it devastated Clint. He sort of drove everyone away, now I see why he might have done that. Though we would have all helped even more if we’d known he was expecting a baby. It must be hard here with the memories of Laura and the kids.”

“It’s no wonder he is struggling. He was probably out of balance the whole pregnancy. I’m sure he didn’t want to be a burden to anyone though.”

“I don’t see helping those you love as an obligation, I see it as a chance to show your gratitude.” Steve explained. 

Bucky nodded but then added, “Yeah but if you're the one who needs the help, it can make you feel weak.”

Steve looked at Bucky and it began to sink in as to why Bucky may have left his family and come to Virgin River. Maybe a lot of this desire to help Clint was autobiographical. He wanted Bucky to see that Steve could help if he was needed. “Well, that’s when family and friends should be there to help you feel strong again.”

“Bucky looked at Steve, gave him a small smile and said, “Hmm, I guess I never thought about it like that before.” 

Steve smiled back, gently, “I just hate to see him have any regrets.” They locked eyes for a few seconds and Steve ached to offer Bucky a hug. The connection was there between them, and he could sense Bucky hurting. 

Bucky broke the gaze and pointed out a swing in a nearby tree. “You know my sister and I had a swing like this.”

Steve took it for the chance it was. “Were you and your sister close growing up?”

Bucky smiled big and wide, “Yeah, besties she used to call us. We’re still close. She raised me after our parents died. Sometimes though, I don’t think she knows who I am anymore.”

God, Steve really wanted to hold him more than ever. “Well, who are you?”

Bucky’s look shifted, a little sorrow creeping in, “You know, I’m not sure myself most days. I mean when I was little I wanted to be a vet, have a farm like this with a big ole farmhouse. When I presented, the dream changed a little.”

“Why was that?” 

“Well, when I found out I was an omega, I made big plans to fill the house with kids, so maybe no vet,” Bucky seemed to chuckle at his childhood self. 

God, how did this man stumble into his life. Steve could not help the look he gave Bucky of complete and total love and devotion. Their dream was essentially the same. Steve had only built the bar when he thought he’d never find a mate. He could not help his words, either.

“Well, funny things dreams...sometimes they come true when you least expect them.”

Bucky looked down after Steve spoke, but Steve saw his lower lip wobble. Bucky chewed it for a second before looking back up. 

“We better get back, check on everyone,” Bucky said, walking by Steve. As his did, he brushed into Steve gently. Steve swore it was intentional. He stood there soaking in the feeling. He heard Bucky behind him.

“You coming?” he called to Steve. When Steve turned to go, Bucky was facing him, waiting for him and Steve saw the tension gone from his face, momentarily. His lips bore a sweet, warm smile that Steve longed to taste. All the way back to the house, Steve had to leave his hands in his pockets to avoid reaching out for Bucky. 

***

They saw Natasha on the porch with the baby seat. It was clear that Clint was not with her. 

“I tried everything. He won’t budge and Doc is on the way with social services.”

Steve wrinkled his brow and offered, “Do you think I should try talking to him, from the guy perspective?”

“No,” Bucky said. “Let me try one more time.” Bucky knew what he had to do. He’d never see his Winnie again but Clint could have his. He entered the house and found Clint in the living room again, laying on the couch. The worst moments of losing Winne flashed through his mind again. He channeled that pain in hopes of helping Clint, to keep him from making a terrible mistake he would never recover from. He walked in and Clint rolled his head back.

“I’m tired and I’m done talking. I just want to be left alone.” Clint did look exhausted. 

Bucky stood there for moments before speaking. “I lost my baby. When I found out I was an omega, I was thrilled. From that day forward, I was excited about having babies. I was so incredibly over the moon about Winnie. I had a nursery, the whole deal. There was a complication at birth and she was stillborn.”

Clint sat up and looked down at his hands in his lap. “I’m really sorry, but why are you telling me this.”

Bucky continued, fighting tears at times. “I was devastated. I could not even get out of bed. I cried incessantly, over stupid things. The sadness consumed me to the point I thought I did not want to live. But my alpha got me to the doctor eventually, literally carried me there. She told me that I wasn't simply grieving. She said I had postpartum depression.” Bucky wiped his nose on his sleeve. 

Clint looked up at him, “So you felt like this, you understand?”

“I do understand and I wish neither of us had to. But, with therapy and medication, I got better. Don’t get me wrong, I am still heartbroken and I still have to work through grief and I'm still sad lots of days, but it doesn’t consume me. If I can get better, so can you, Clint.”

Bucky let that sink in before he said his final piece. 

“The thing is, Clint. When you get better, I’m concerned you’re going to regret giving your baby up. And I am concerned it will be too late to do anything if you relinquish your rights today. If you indicate to social services that you want help, you may be able to keep her while you get well. They have supports for that.” 

“It's too late, they are coming for her aren’t they?”

“It’s not too late. Doc and I can tell them what you’re experiencing and I can actually, as a certified caregiver, take custody until you feel more like yourself,” Bucky offered, remembering that it was a legal option.

“That’s too much, I can’t ask you to do that. You barely know me.”

“Well someone just helped me realize that accepting help doesn’t make you weak, it lets others show their gratitude and help you get stronger,” Bucky affirmed. 

“What if I never get well enough to take care of her like I should?” Clint asked, voice wet with tears.

“Your friends in Virgin River would love nothing more than to help you, maybe you just need to let them.”

Clint looked full of despair, Bucky knew that feeling well. “Just think about it, Clint. Talk to social services honestly. They are coming to help.”

Bucky walked out of the room and as he walked by Natasha and Steve on the porch, Doc arrived with social services. He held it together long enough to tell Doc that Clint was willing to talk. Then he kept walking. 

He walked straight into the middle of the field, never heard the footsteps behind him, and thought he was alone when the first sob hit him hard. 

“Hey, Buck?” Steve said softly. Bucky tried to hold it back, but so many old wounds had ripped open as he spoke to Clint. 

“Buck, can I...is it okay if I hug you?” Steve asked so sweetly. He could almost feel the body heat coming from Steve and he could certainly smell the alpha need to comfort, rolling off him in full force. 

Bucky just turned and grabbed on to the first piece of Steve he could get his hands on. Steve held him just like Bucky’d hoped he would, wrapping him up, enveloping him in his strong arms while Bucky just cried. 

He had no idea how long he had sobbed his release, but as he slowed, he could feel that they were on the ground and Bucky was balled up in Steve’s lap. It felt wonderful until it really hit Bucky what he’d done and where he was. Then the embarrassment came and he tried to get up.

“No Buck, we’re fine. It’s okay, just let yourself be for a bit longer.” Steve had opened his jacket and Bucky had cried Steve’s shirt soaking wet. Bucky tried in vain to wipe at the mess. “Don’t. I’m just going to zip it up when we leave. No one will know. It’s alright. I think that was a long time coming. Thanks for letting me help.”

Slowly they worked apart, Steve offering continued support, rubbing circles on Bucky’s back, and smoothing his hair off his face. It took Bucky a while to say anything, but eventually he said, “Thanks, Steve.” 

Steve nodded at him, understanding that Bucky was spent and had nothing left. They walked back to the house and Steve took the hint when Bucky put space between them, the closer they got. There was nothing Bucky was going to be able to do about his face, hopefully no one would say anything. Bucky was an ugle crier. 

Natasha did a decent job of ignoring what she saw, Bucky noticed the slight shake of Steve’s head. “They’ve been in there a long time. I think that’s good.”

It was a few minutes of awkward silence until the social worker came and invited them all in.

Clint spoke to them. “I just want to say thanks to you all for everything you did. It was above and beyond. I know that Bucky offered to be caretaker, but we’ve talked it through and my insurance should cover most of what it would take to have home aids come in to help me keep her here with me. We think nursing her will help me get well faster. I think I have enough in savings to cover what insurance doesn’t.”

Natasha spoke up, she looked at Clint and then the social worker. “We’ll be sure to help him cover any expenses. Clint’s farm provides our seasonal market with fresh food and kids come here for his pumpkins. We can return the favor.”

“I’m going to see a specialist once a week in Wilmington for the post partum, but I’ll need local support as well,” Clint stated to the group.

“Well,” Doc said. It just so happens that Bucky here is a certified nurse practitioner and midwife and he is absolutely excellent at his job. Would that work for you?” Bucky nearly fell off his chair.

“That would more than satisfy the county on my end,” the social worker answered warmly.

“That works for me. I mean she already knows the case and we get along alright,” Clint said a little nervously, looking to Bucky.

“It would be perfect for me, you’d be my first patient in town,” Bucky reassured him. 

“Well, that’s settled. We just need someone to stay with Clint until we can find compatible helpers to come in.

“I’ll stay, Natasha offered. She looked to Doc and he nodded to her. 

They all got up to leave and Clint asked to see Bucky alone. He stood with the baby in his arms and he said, “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep the name Winnie.”

Bucky smiled brightly, tears threatening again, but he cleared his throat and answered “That’s fine with me, that’s really nice actually, Clint.”

“Some day when she’s old enough, I’ll explain that her name came from the nice nurse who took great care of her when I couldn’t.” Clint reached out and pulled Bucky in for a tight hug.

“I’m really grateful to you, man.”

“You're welcome, anytime. Call me. I mean it.” 

***

  
Steve drove them back to the bar and all the way Bucky thought about what had happened. Doc was clearly giving him a second chance and more than that, spoke respectfully of his skills. The time he and Steve had shared in the field was an eye opening experience. Bucky thought he could never feel comfort and desire for companionship again after Brock, but he had felt both, with Steve. It was a lot, and it was complicated, but Bucky felt hope. It was a feeling Bucky thought he had lost forever. 

At the bar Steve pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. Bucky moved one aside, he did not need whiskey tonight. 

Steve threw back a shot. “It has been a crazy couple of days.”

Bucky answered, “Yes it has. How will the town react when they know?”

“Oh Natasha will take care of the town. Won’t be a problem.” Steve hesitated before adding. “How are you feeling after… and leaving Winnie.” he hinted at the moment in the field they shared. 

“Honestly, I am just glad she’s where she should be,” Bucky answered, and he was. “Steve, thank you for today. For being there.”

“No problem at all, Bucky. None. But if you really want to thank me, there is one thing you can do for me.”

“What? Now you’re going to give some big speech and out how much the town needs me and Doc reinstated me, blah blah blah?”

“No!” Steve protested, you didn’t let me finish. “I was going to say that I’ve gotten used to having you around.”

“Oh ho ho. That is some compliment, used to me, wow.” 

“I still wasn’t done, Bucky. Give a guy a break.”

“Okay,” Bucky said with a smirk, “Continue.”

“I was going to say...that if you go, you’d be missed.” Steve finally finished, a few shades pinker in his face and neck.

“I don’t know what to say to that.” Bucky answered softly.

“Just say you’ll consider it.” 

“Okay, I’ll consider it,” Bucky agreed. 

Steve shifted in his chair. “There is one other thing I’ve been dying to ask you about.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” Bucky asked, curious as to what Steve wanted to know.

“What’s the story there?” Steve asked and pointed at the wedding band on his left ring finger. 

Bucky fiddled with the ring and blew out a big breath. “It’s uhh, not something I’m ready to talk about just yet.”

Steve’s lips drew into a line. Bucky could sense his disappointment, but ever the gentleman, he responded. “Okay. I understand.” Bucky felt like Steve meant that.

Steve stood with the bottle and the glass and was heading to go behind the bar when a woman called out to him. “Steve!”

Bucky turned to see Steve’ face absolutely fall and to see a pretty blonde walk comfortably up to him. 

“Hey,” she said and leaned in for a kiss.

“Hey,” he answered quickly as her lips reached his. 

Bucky was stunned. He glanced from the woman to Steve and back.

The woman turned to Bucky. “Hi, I’m Lorraine, Steve’s girlfriend.” 

Bucky realized he was leaving her hanging, he shook his head free and answered, ‘I’m sorry. I’m Bucky. Nice to meet you.” 

There was a long awkward pause between the trio before Bucky managed a weak, “Well, I’ll see you two later, it’s been a long day and I am going to call it a night.”

He didn’t even look at Steve as he made his way out of the bar. He walked to the Stark’s, to his room and went to bed. Steve not coming after him was all the answer Bucky needed. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not run away. Hang in there, it will be worth it. You have seen some light before I yanked you to the bottom again...I have good things in my plan...


	5. Remedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little time passes as Bucky becomes more a part of the town and the practice with Doc. He's not really avoiding Steve or is he? Steve tries to make amends even though he might be being ignored. These two!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I am killing you, come to the carpet for story time again. I am clearly setting up something a bit bigger, so this is a shorter chapter. A little time has passed and Bucky just wants to belong! Let him breathe! Hang in there. 
> 
> I submitted one of my major reopening plans for my school, so I am only stressed by thousands instead of millions. I will write the next chapter tomorrow and hopefully post tomorrow night. 
> 
> Also, I have been getting lovely, encouraging comments. Thank you for those!

“Why did you do that?” Steve asked Lorraine frustrated that she had overstepped the boundaries of their relationship. 

“Do what Steve? Stake my claim? It’s Virgin River,” she answered coldly. “Just because you only fuck me in Clear Water doesn’t mean I don’t hear what’s going on here. It’s-”

“Wait just a minute,” Steve stopped her. “ Lorraine, we’re not looking to be mates, here. I thought we were on the same page.” 

“No, Steve. You’re not on anyone’s page. You’re in your own damn book. It’s been two years. I have been waiting two years for you to come around.” She was fighting tears, Steve could see them though they were still unshed. 

It hit Steve like a ton of bricks. He’d been played. But for how long? Steve had always been truthful with her, always. He felt bad because she looked hurt, but he had never promised her anything more. Clearly Lorraine was far more invested than he ever was. But their scents didn’t even blend well. Did she not see that? He certainly knew it that first night. 

His connection to Bucky was evident from the moment Steve had laid eyes on him and the alpha in him wanted to go find Bucky immediately and try to apologize for misleading him, rather than stay and fix this mess.

He pulled Lorraine into a chair by the bar and got her a cocktail napkin. “Lorraine, I'm Sorry. I just don’t feel the same way about you. This was a fun time for me and that was all. This was just supposed to be fun. You never seemed dissatisfied and you sure never asked for it to stop. 

“I knew what I was getting into, Steve. I’m a big girl. It’s just that when it didn’t end after a couple of months, I thought maybe you felt the same but weren’t the doting kind of alpha.”

Steve shook his head. All he wanted to be was a doting alpha, only he wanted to dote on Bucky, not Lorraine. “I feel bad about this Lorraine, but the connection is just not there and I never wanted and still don’t want more with you. You should find someone who wants more, too. 

“I know your heart belongs to someone else, it was clear the second I walked in the door tonight. It’s why I did it. You never once looked at me the way you were looking at him.”

“Lorraine, I-”

“Don’t worry Steve. I may have been willing to compromise to be in bed with you, but you were always good to me. I’m gonna go now. I know I’m worth more. I’m worth that look. It’ll sting for a while that it won’t come from you, but one day it’ll come my way.” 

She kissed him on the cheek and left. Steve felt awful and yet free like he hadn't in a while. He may not have been in love with Lorraine, but he loved her. She wasn’t a bad person, just not for him, and he knew that now more than ever.. Still, two omegas were hurt tonight and he was the alpha who did it. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and the shot glass. He only let himself have one to burn away some of the pain. This was not going to be an easy fix.

Laying in bed, Steve could not shed the feeling of Bucky sobbing in his arms. He wanted to know what Bucky could have shared with Clint that made him that incredibly sad. He’d clung to Steve and found comfort. Steve had thought there was a connection, so he’d asked about the ring, hoping he could move them a step forward, a step closer, but Bucky had shut him down. 

Steve wanted desperately to prevent any kind of sadness from causing Bucky that kind of pain again. Yet he’d seen a flash of it in Bucky’s eyes when Lorraine had kissed Steve and said she was his girlfriend. Steve wanted to find Bucky and clear up what happened. Hell he wanted to do more than that. He wanted to declare his undying love for Bucky and hold him like he had out in that field, but Steve knew that was a bit premature. Surely Bucky would understand when Steve explained... but the look on his face. That look haunted Steve most of the night. 

***

Bucky slept, but only because he had cried so hard at Clint’s. He was up early and was going to go for a run. He thought he could do the five mile circuit that Steve had shown him. He didn’t think he’d get lost. He figured Steve would be busy with Lorraine, his _girlfriend_ , so he wasn’t worried about running into him. Boy did Bucky misinterpret Steve’s attentions to him. It was hard for Bucky, his body didn’t lead him or guide him like it should. He got mixed messages and confused signals, all scars on his omega senses from what had happened on that final deployment, the one when he lost his arm. 

He hurt, so he ran. Running cleared his mind and helped his body rid itself of stress and worry. He could feel the endorphins building in his system. Running had been a part of his recovery in every stage of his adult life that was traumatic. It was his own brand of physical therapy. He even began to feel excited about getting to work at the office with Doc. 

He thought maybe at the end of his run he’d stop by Doc’s in hopes that he would be up and about. Maybe they could come to an agreement about how next week would work. Bucky would like to forget the pain of what he left behind, and this new pain, this Steve pain. The best way to do that was to help others with theirs. .

He was in his rhythm and sweaty, and it felt good, but it made Bucky’s mind wander back to the field and the feeling of being in Steve’s arms. It felt so natural and so right. A few times Bucky had felt Steve’s full beard as it brushed his forehead. He also couldn’t lose the feeling how jarring it was to see Steve kiss his girlfriend after he had offered Bucky such comfort. 

He really had no idea what he would do to move past whatever it was he felt for Steve, but he had a job now and that was important to him. Helping Clint had set Bucky back on track for the first time in over a year. He was determined not to let a little drama upset that. He’d pour himself into his work, that’s what he’d do. 

Instead of stopping at Doc’s like he originally planned, he continued up the street into town. He had his phone and some money in his running belt around his waist. He made a promise to himself right then and there to find out more about the local businesses and to frequent them. He’d left his room around seven and he’d been running about an hour. Not a lot seemed open just yet, but he could get more of the layout of the place. He’d been preoccupied with Winnie the first trip through the other day. 

There was a little hardware store with a garden area full of fall colored mums, the general store run by Janet Lang, and the garage run by Scott who had towed his car. They did not seem open yet. There was the diner where he and Winnie had lunch.That looked open. Bucky decided to stop for breakfast. Why not? He slowed down and gave himself time to cool off a bit, wiping the sweat off his face with his light jacket. He was glad he had put his hair up in a high ponytail through the back of the ball cap he was wearing. When he was breathing fairly regularly, he went in.

He sat at an empty booth that was clearly for two people. All of the other tables and larger booths were full, always a good sign for a diner. The diner had a vintage feel. At least that’s what this look would be called in the city. Lots of that blue color Bucky associated with old fashioned kitchen appliances. The tables and chairs reminded him of Johnny Rockets. 

A waitress, not the one he had the other day, came over. Her name tag read Gamora. Her appearance was as different as her name in this town. She was beautiful. She approached Bucky with a mug, a menu, and a pot of coffee. 

“Good morning, you the new guy over at Doc’s?” she asked, setting down the mug and raising an eyebrow and nodding to her pot. 

“Yes, I am and yes please,” Bucky answered. 

“It’s nice you helping Clint like that. He’s good people.”

Bucky probably should have been more surprised than he was about the fact that she knew about Clint already. “Word travels fast around here,” he said, sounding ridiculously like a cowboy in a bad western. 

“We take care of our own. You sound like you might fit in nicely. Here’s the menu, but Quill is making blackberry cheesecake stuffed french toast with some of the last berries from the farmer’s market and it will change your life for the better.” 

Bucky shouldn’t, but how could he say no to cheesecake and fresh blackberries? Not to mention the _changing his life for the better_ couldn’t hurt. “That sounds fantastic, keep the menu.” 

“See, I knew you’d fit in,” she teased. 

“Hey,” Bucky called after her, “Where is that market. Is it far from here?”

“Hell no, right up the street in the main square. Saturday’s you can’t drive up Main. You have to walk on account of the market. You’ll love it.”

“Thanks, I’m Bucky, by the way.”

“Gamora. Welcome, Bucky. There’s cream in the little cow on the table,” She said as she walked away. 

Sure enough on the table was a little cow pitcher full of cream and a little trough filled with sugar. Bucky made the regular coffee as much like a latte as he could. He had to wait a good fifteen minutes, the place was packed after all, but eventually his food was set in front of him.

“Here you go, blackberry cheesecake french toast. I’m Peter Quill. This is my joint, well, me and my mate Gamora’s joint, but she runs the front and I do all the cooking. Thanks for taking care of Clint, he’s good people.”

“ I guess everyone thinks Clint is good people. Thanks Peter, I’m Bucky-”

“Christ don’t call me Peter,” the alpha cringed and looked around like it was some sort of secret. “You can call me Quill or hey, you can even call me Starlord.” 

“Sorry, Quill,” Bucky laughed at the teasing alpha. “You did say your name was Peter, in my defense,” Bucky looked down at the plate of delicious food. It was perfectly cooked and he would never expect the guy standing in front of him to have cooked it. Next to the french toast that was bursting with a purple swirled filling was a pile of bacon. Bucky hadn't ordered bacon. “Hey, I didn’t-”

“I know you didn’t order bacon. Don’t call me Peter and don’t ever come in here and order sweet without salty again. I know what you need, trust me on that. Enjoy.”

Bucky did not know what to think of the guy, but he sure as hell could cook and he was right about the sweet salty combo. The breakfast was fantastic. After he finished, he left a hefty tip and headed towards where Gamora said he would find the market. He was glad he did. It was amazing. Jane and Thor were there with a variety of fall vegetables and huge bouquets of sunflowers. He bought one of those right off the bat. 

“Hey, Thor, Jane, how are you feeling.”

“Ahhh the midwife, Bucky,” Thor boomed. “Jane is well, thank you again for looking after her so carefully.”

“Yes, I’m feeling great, thank you again,” Jane chimed in. She looked well, not distressed as she had before. 

“Hey, how much for the sunflowers? They’re beautiful.”

“Ten for a bunch,” Jane answered. Bucky knew those would have cost him at least forty in Brooklyn.

“I’ll take a bunch then.”

He continued to wander through the stalls, picking up an item here or there. One stand sold nicely made reusable bags and he bought one to carry everything home in. It was cotton and the pattern was fall leaves. It felt good to just enjoy the morning and to know that money he spent was going to people that lived in town instead of a big chain store. He knew where he would spend his Saturday mornings from now on. Before long he felt the heat of the sun and realised it must be nearly noon. Happy from his morning, Bucky strolled back to the Starks. 

  
  


***

The final dumpster was picked up and the majority of the interior work was done. Steve has stripped everything to be bare log walls and had sandblasted the interior logs before resealing them and then enlisting Peter’s Aunt May to help with the finer points of filling the cabin with things Bucky would need. He was proud of it and it was ready. Now he just had to find a way to let Bucky know. He could just let Natasha show Bucky, but this was sort of Steve’s apology. He wanted to watch Bucky when he saw it for the first time, he wanted to patch things up so they at least didn’t avoid each other.

Steve had been miserable for the past three weeks without seeing Bucky. The omega had a knack for avoiding him, that was for sure. The first week, Steve had attempted to run into Bucky and had caught a glimpse of him, but soon realized that Bucky was actively avoiding him. Steve wasn't a hind brain alpha, he stopped trying to fabricate a meeting. Bucky deserved his peace, it was what he had come to Virgin River to find. 

He’d heard that Bucky was doing well at the practice, so Steve just poured his heart into the cabin. Maybe Bucky would see how sorry Steve was when he saw the transformation . He hadn't even seen Bucky at Halloween at the main street trunk or treat. The biggest event of the Virgin River social calendar was coming up, the Moonlight Mingle. Steve knew the entire town would be there and he hoped Bucky to see Bucky and that the omega wouldn’t be angry at him anymore. 

***

Bucky had just seen his last patient of the day. He and Doc had worked things out for the most part and Doc had even let Bucky help him update his office a bit. The first Monday after Clint Doc had apologized. Bucky nearly fainted. Doc was genuine and pleasant about it. That was his lead in, but the rest was still Doc. The 30 day trial started over and Bucky had to prove himself, plus Doc’s name stayed on the door.

“Here’s the thing, this is all I have that makes me happy and I want it to be right. We should work on getting along better. You can call me Bruce when we’re alone or in town, and Doc in front of the patients. I’ll call you Nurse Barnes at the office and Bucky elsewhere.” Doc almost looked embarrassed as he set boundaries with Bucky.

“Alright, Bruce. You have a deal. I understand that you’re in charge. Just like in any practice, I’ll run big things by you. Little things like colds, etc. I'll handle on my own.”

They shook on it and then things took off. Bucky showed Bruce that there was software that he could use to dictate his notes by simply speaking into a microphone. Bucky had found that Bruce simply was pressed for time, backed up patient to patient and was more worried about seeing them than his records. Bucky even helped him back note on patients as they came through. Bruce appreciated getting caught up and back on track. 

Bucky convinced Bruce that a receptionist to file, take appointments, and greet patients would be helpful as well. They’d hired Peter’s Aunt May and she was perfect for the job. She was more proficient than even Bucky predicted and she took over all insurance tasks as well. By the end of the third week, Bruce’s outlook was completely different and Bucky felt like he was part of the practice. Bruce apparently did as well. He often left Bucky in the office handling the appointments and had increased his house calls to two days per week. 

“You know, Bucky...what you’ve done here has been great. I have lots of patients who are older and want to be visited at home and that’s honestly a big part of what drew me here to start this practice. I really appreciate everything and so I think your trial should be over.”

Bucky was touched, not that he ever felt he needed a trial in the first place, but for Bruce to verbalize his feelings made Bucky feel truly welcome in the office for the first time. “Thanks Bruce, I really like working with you and I appreciate that you’ve taken some of my suggestions to heart.”

“Now don’t start thinking I’m changing the name on the door anytime soon, but you’re welcome.”

Bucky laughed, “And there is the old Doc I met on the first day! I thought maybe he was captured by aliens.” 

“You know aliens are not really that strange a concept…” Bruce began as he usually did with all of his scientific banter. He was a pretty smart guy and Bucky put up with him, even more than that, he liked him. Who would have thought? 

*** 

Bucky was on his last appointment and it was only early afternoon. Doc was out on house calls and Bucky was doing a physical for a kindergartner including immunizations. Everything was going well until the little guy knew he was getting a shot and then it went to hell in a hand basket. Still Bucky was good at his job and produced a crap ton of stickers with superheroes on them and distracted the infatuated five year old long enough to give him his MMR booster without further upset. One superhero band aid later, and the family was on their way. 

Bucky was feeling good, really good, better than he had in a long while. He was relaxing into the vibe of Vermont with a little scruff on his face and a little flannel and corduroy in his wardrobe. He’d traded more practical boots for his fancier shoes, but stuck with his pea coat. Some classics were not to be messed with. He was feeling more like his old self, but in a good way and even began to do interesting braids and styled in his hair to keep it out of the way. 

It had been the one thing Brock never liked about Bucky. He had always wanted Bucky to cut his shoulder length hair short. Bucky had let it grow after his medical discharge from the Army. He liked his hair and so did other people, often complimenting Bucky on the way he would have it in a loose braid or tightly twisted back in sections and pinned at the crown of his head. He suspected that Brock didn't like the attention it got him. Anyway, he could do whatever he wanted to his hair now and he often did, just for his own enjoyment. Today he had a braid across the front of his head with the loose end tucked and pinned underneath. It kept it out of his face while he worked, and looked a little bit like a crown, if Bucky said so himself. 

Even settling in the way he was, there was this space in his heart, maybe his soul, that seemed to ask _what if_ every so often. Today was one of those days. The little boy needing his shots just reminded Bucky of all the things he was missing with loss of his Winnie. It had been almost three years and still he wondered where he would be if things had not gone so wrong. Would he still be with Brock? Was the little longing he felt for Brock, or for a certain someone with the beard and broad shoulders? Sometimes the longing turned into sadness just empty enough to cause a lump in his throat. He was feeling that melancholy today. 

He was about to let May go when she called out to him frantically and came running into the exam room Bucky was cleaning and setting up for tomorrow. 

“Bucky, oh my God Bucky!” she yelled.

“What’s the matter, May, Jesus you scared the shit out of me,” he answered thinking it was another spider near her desk.

“There’s been an accident out at Odin’s farm. They need help and don’t want an ambulance. They want Doc, but he’s out on calls. He’s not even due back until at least six tonight.”

“Who’s hurt and what's the injury?”

“They didn’t say, but they said send Doc as soon as possible,” May explained.

Bucky thought for a minute. He had never been to the farm, and he knew it was hard to get to. He thought about Jane who was so pregnant before and wondered if it was her or Thor. he stepped into the store room and grabbed Doc’s spare emergency bag. He checked through it and then stuffed some more things that he might need like a suture kit, staple kit and whatever else he could shove in it. 

“May, you stay here and try to catch Doc, tell him where I am and have him come out. I know they may not accept me yet, but I’m their only option right now.”

“You got it and good luck,” May yelled after him. He grabbed his coat and his backpack and headed out at a run towards the Stark’s. Maybe Pepper could tell him how to get out there. He was picking up the pace into a jog when he passed by the path heading up to Steve’s Bar. He stopped in his tracks. Steve would know just where the farm community was. Bucky swallowed his pride and headed in. 

Steve was at the bar looking ruggedly handsome in jeans and a red and black buffalo check flannel. He had a black t-shirt underneath it, and it set off the look perfectly. Bucky shook his head. He was here for a reason and it wasn’t the eye candy. Christ it was ridiculous how Steve could have this kind of pull on him without even speaking to him.

He saw the moment Steve saw him, all color draining from his face and yet hope filling his blue eyes. It was quite a contrast. He came around the bar like lightning and right over to Bucky.

“Hey. Bucky, how’ve you been. You haven’t come h-”

“Listen, Steve. I don’t have time for friendly banter, I came here for a favor.”

“What do you need, Bucky. Anything, you name it,” Steve answered and Bucky saw in those blue eyes, the very same pain and emptiness he felt about Steve. Maybe Bucky had been right, but then Steve had kissed Lorraine! This was ridiculous, Focus, Bucky god damn it! 

“We got a call that someone is hurt on Odin’s farm. Doc is out on calls and I’ve never been out there. The way Doc talks, though-”

“You’d never find it on your own, Buck. Let me grab my jacket and keys. I’ll drive you out there. 

They met out back, Steve taking Bucky’s bags and helping him in the passenger side of the truck. This wasn’t really time for chivalry.

“Jesus, Steve, just get in and get going. We don’t have time for manners.”

Steve threw the bags in the back seat of the cab and ran around to his side. “Sorry, force of habit.”

They drove in painful silence for several miles before Steve started to speak. “Listen, Bucky...I just wanted to explain about that night after Clint’s-”

Bucky did not want to start down the slippery slope of apology, partially because he was trying to just be Bucky and partially because he could not bear to feel the actual pain of it not working between them. 

“Steve,” he interrupted, “I appreciate you taking me out to Odin’s, but I really don’t want to do this right now. I need to be on my game when I get there. I have no idea what I am facing.”

He watched Steve’s cheeks flush and his eyes turn a bit sad looking, but he listened to Bucky. “I understand. I won’t push it, but I just want you to know I never intended to hurt you.”

Bucky was a little caught off guard. On one hand, Bucky thought maybe he had been right and Steve was crushing on Bucky as much as Bucky had crushed on him. On the other hand, the nerve of Steve assuming he’d hurt Bucky.

“What makes you think I felt hurt over seeing you with your girlfriend. She seemed like a lovely person. She was certainly beautiful. I’m sure you’re very happy.”

Bucky heard a whine bubble up out of Steve’s throat. “She’s not my-”

“Steve, please. I can’t do this now. I just can’t. Please understand that,” Bucky’s voice cracked a bit as he pleaded.

“Okay, Bucky, okay,” Steve answered, his tone very much defeated. 

They drove in awkward silence the remainder of the way to the farm. It was uncomfortable enough that Bucky didn’t know what he’d been thinking ever heading into the bar to begin with. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there my Stucky friends... they can't pine much longer...
> 
> Comments are like gasoline on a fire, but in a good way...


	6. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets called out to an emergency and he needs someone to drive him. Steve is the only logical choice, but can Bucky handle it? Will riding together and a stressful situation lead to communication that Bucky was trying to avoid?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the medical side of writing fic and I especially love writing a graphic birth scene, so hang on! I do quite a bit of research, but I also have a medical magic wand that comes out as needed. Bucky tells us much more about his sad past, be ready for that. Steve refers to himself as having PTSD.

Buck coming into the bar caught Steve completely and totally off guard. He froze at first, then ran over to him like a 16 year old alpha fawning over his first omega crush. His mind buzzed with all that he wanted to say to Bucky, his concern for Bucky’s sadness, his worry that Bucky was avoiding him and of course the _incident_ , the Lorraine incident. All of this played through his mind for what seemed like an eternity but was actually more like a microsecond and he had the ridiculous sense to start with a statement that made him sound like Captain Obvious. 

“Hey. Bucky, how’ve you been. You haven’t come h-”

Bucky interrupted him quickly and it soon became obvious that Bucky had come out of urgency, not desire to mend fences or whatever was troubling between them. It sounded like Steve wasn’t his first choice, but his only choice.

“Listen, Steve. I don’t have time for friendly banter, I came here for a favor.”

Of course, Steve’s alpha came right out and to the rescue. It was when they were on their way to the Odin farm that Steve thought he could at least get out an apology and explanation about the misunderstanding around Lorraine. Bucky shut Steve down again, and Steve had no choice but to hold his tongue. If Bucky needed to be mentally ready to help at the farm, Steve did not want to be the one who complicated things for selfish reasons. 

Still, Steve could not help but steal glances at the omega concentrating next to him. He looked good, relaxed even. Given the current circumstances, if Bucky looked this comfortable in his own skin, Steve could only imagine what he would look like not on the way to an unknown medical emergency. 

Bucky had a little growth of stubble on his face and had on clothes more suitable to this area, yet still in his own sort of flare...and his hair...God Steve could barely keep his hands out of it. There was this sort of casual braid across the front of his head that kept the hair out of Bucky’s eyes, but the rest of it hung down his back and rested on his shoulders. His hair hung in thick shiny chocolatey waves...it was almost too much. 

Bucky stole glances at him as well... at least Steve thought he did. He must have known Steve was trying to catch glimpses while driving because when Steve’s eyes settled on Bucky’s left hand and the empty space where his wedding ring used to sit, Bucky tucked his hand under his thigh and chastised Steve. Of course it could have been because Steve almost ran them off the road he swerved so hard.

“Steve, eyes on the road for Christ’s sake!”

“Sorry Buck.” He resigned himself to driving quietly, eyes forward, the rest of the thirty minute drive on the narrow roads. But Steve was not one to easily give up and he would find a way to at least repair their friendship if not hope for more. 

***

Bucky saw the second Steve noticed his missing wedding ring. His eyes got huge and he nearly ran his truck off the road and into a tree. Bucky should have tucked it under his leg when he first got in, but that may have been obvious as well. It had only been a week since he made the choice to stop wearing it. It was after a particularly good Friday at work and Bucky was feeling strong and like he might just be starting to belong at Virgin River. 

_Tony and Pepper had come in for a monthly check up and while they were in the waiting room, Bruce came to him and handed him Tony’s records. Bucky was surprised but accepted the chart._

_“I think it’s time for you to specialize in the omega patients. I know that Tony wants to see you, but hadn't said anything out of loyalty to me. I had May call the patients with appointments specifically related to omega health and pregnancy and there were very few objections to seeing you. A couple of my long time patients that get nervous are going to wait a bit longer, but Tony is thrilled. He’s a worrier. He and Pepper waited and had a short first try. He likes to spend time asking questions and I think you’ll be more reassuring than me. You okay with this?’_

_Bucky swallowed hard and willed the tingling in his eyes to not form tears. He cleared his throat, “Yeah...Yes. Thank you Bruce, I mean Doc. Thank you. I really appreciate this.”_

_That afternoon after a very interesting first appointment with Tony, Bucky went downtown. Bucky had gone to the little liquor store and bought a bottle of wine, then he stopped into a store he had been avoiding, the stationary store. He was like a kid in a candy shop. They carried all his favs, Rhodia dot bullet journals, double tipped calligraphy pens, and washi tape. He dropped some cash and left with a fun little bag to occupy himself for the weekend. After a little liquid courage, he made a list of things that were going well and things that were weighing him down. Bucky journaled these kinds of these occasionally. Brock had found his journals and mocked him once, so Bucky had stopped for a while. But he found it soothing and very therapeutic._

_By the end of the weekend, he had the month of November set up in his journal and he was lighter by the weight of one wedding ring. He put it away carefully in the original box he had kept from the proposal, and made a pact with himself to look forward more than back._

The roads to the farm became smaller and more closed in by the forest until they seemed to drive out of a tunnel and into the wide open spaces of the farmland. It was fields of those sunflowers Bucky had purchased, but now past their prime and feeding the birds. There were cornfields with the stubble of cut stalks and in the distance Bucky could see a cluster of buildings. 

“That’s the Odinson Community out there. They live as an extended family, though they do accept others to join them. You just have to agree to follow their beliefs,” Steve narrated as he drove them closer.

“You mean like their religious beliefs?” Bucky asked.

Steve explained, “No, Odin may have his religious beliefs but it’s more like a lifestyle. They farm traditionally, use horses and buggies for trips to the farmers market and I think they choose to raise crops they can harvest by hand. They keep to themselves for the most part, but Odin lets them have medical care, he just prefers it to be on the farm, rather than in the office.”

“Oh yeah, Jane had alluded to all that. Thor asked me not to tell Odin they were in the office. I get it. Well, hopefully they’ll let me help today.” 

“Yeah, I hope so, too,” Steve said as he finally turned down the dirt road that led to what must be the homes on the farm. 

They were greeted by a large gentleman with greying dreadlocks when they pulled up to what Bucky would call a compound of buildings. Way out on the edges were large barns and closer together were what appeared to be homes with a large grassy area in the middle. There was a fire pit in the middle and various chairs and picnic tables. It looked like a community based yard or something. It was actually quite a great idea, though Bucky could see how it could go south depending on the intentions of those who lived here. 

“That’s Heimdall, he’s a good guy. He and Odin founded this community a while back,” Steve said under his breath to Bucky.

“Hello, I’m Heimdall,” the man greeted them. “Where is Doc?” Bucky could not place the heavy accent in his voice.

“Hey, Bucky Barnes. I am the new nurse practitioner and midwife out at Doc’s practice. Doc is out all day today on housecalls. I figured you’d rather have me than call an ambulance.”

Heimdall looked from Bucky to Steve, “Hey Heimdall.”

“Steve,” was all the greeting he got. He retained eye contact and Steve gave a firm nod. It seemed to be enough for Heimdall.

“Well then, let's hope Odin will accept the new nurse.”

They were led to the largest house and though it was simply built it was both immaculate and efficient looking, with lived in charm. Whoever lived here loved it. Bucky always wanted a house that looked loved. His and Brock’s house had always had a cold edge no matter how hard Bucky had tried. 

Up a wide wooden staircase, they carted Bucky’s two bags and then they were in front of a man who simply put, looked like he belonged in another place and time. Long grey hair, an eyepatch, and a full white beard. He was lying dressed on the bed, with a blanket over his lower legs. Bucky assumed that to be the location of the injury. 

“Odin, this is Bucky. He is the new nurse midwife with Doc Banner. Steve has given his nod. He has brought the nurse to see your wound.”

“Where is Dr. Banner? Why did he not come when we called?” Odin asked with a formal and commanding tone. 

“Doc was out on house calls. I’ve been working with him for about a little over a month now. If you’ll let me, I’ll be glad to help. I am qualified.”

“A month is not even a growing season,” Odin commented skeptically. “And I am most certainly not in need of a midwife.”

Bucky looked to Steve who shrugged the smallest of shrugs. Big help. 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I did work in the army as a medic and then in a trauma center in Brooklyn, New York.”

“An army medic? Why didn’t you say so?” Have you been in battle?” Odin’s eyes lit as he spoke.

Bucky raised his left hand. “Does it look like I’ve been in a battle or two?”

Suddenly Odin was cooperative and motioning towards the blanket over his legs. 

“What am I dealing with, Sir,” Bucky asked. Odin was even more at ease when he was referred to respectfully. 

Heimdall spoke for Odin. “Someone thought he could use an axe to make kindling with only one eye.”

Bucky heard Steve suck in a sharp breath. He shot the alpha a side glance to see if he was okay. He was still standing. The bigger they are the harder they fall was Bucky’s motto for people at a medical emergency scene. 

“Please don’t tell me that there is an axe wound actively bleeding under this blanket. Which leg and how deep is it?” Bucky asked curtly.

Heimdall spoke again. “It is the leg closer to you and it is gash on the side of his calf. I have placed a tourniquet so he did not bleed out.”

Steve watched as Bucky worked his way into the situation. The omega was really good with people. Things were moving nicely until Heimdall mentioned the tourniquet. Then Bucky seemed to go into overdrive.

Throwing the blankets off, Bucky demanded, “How long has the tourniquet been on his leg.”

“Since the accident, about an hour and a half.” Heimdall answered looking concerned at Bucky’s tone.

“Okay, we need to get that off now before he’s had too much damage from lack of blood supply. Was the blood oozing or pumping from the wound?” Steve felt woozy at the thought of either and he thought he heard himself groan aloud. 

“I would say it oozed, but prolifically,” Odin answered. 

“Odin, we are going to release the tourniquet for a few minutes while applying pressure and then return the tourniquet for the exam and probably stitches. You may need to go to a hospital.”

Odin objected but Bucky remained calm and directed everyone through the entire process. Within half an hour Odin had a skillfully wrapped bandage around his stitched leg. Steve had nearly passed out from the blood and had no clue how Bucky had made sense of what he saw, but Steve followed every move and was in awe of the man’s skills. 

“Are you allergic to any antibiotics?” Bucky asked Odin. 

“No, I do not think so.” 

“Has doc ever given you antibiotics?” Bucky followed up. 

“Yes,” Heimdall answered. “Odin had pneumonia last winter and he took amox something or other.”

“Okay good.” Bucky was glad that was the antibiotic he’d like been given.. He figured he was pretty safe to give an injection of penicillin that he found in Doc’s emergency bag. That would at least start the process of fighting any infection. 

After administering the med he gave him an injection of toradol. When the local anesthetic wore off he would be in pain. Bucky had done some digging to close that wound. He sat in a chair with the notepad from the bag and wrote out his notes for Odin’s chart. He would give them to Doc to review, this was not a simple case and he wanted to be sure Doc liked how he handled it. 

As he gathered his things to leave, Odin thanked him. “I am most grateful for your help today.”

“You're welcome, but leave the firewood to people who can handle it a bit better,” Bucky chuckled. 

They were loading his bags into the truck, still not having spoken to each other much, when Bucky heard a young female cry out in pain. 

“What the fuck was that?” Bucky said between the two of them.

“Sounded like a girl screaming,” Steve answered just as the noise happened again. It was coming from a house across the lawn area. From inside the house they probably could not have heard it. 

Just then Thor came running from the house. “Nurse Bucky is that you?”

Bucky jogged to meet him. They spoke quietly and Bucky shouted back to Steve.

“Bring my bags! It’s Jane!”

Steve grabbed the bags and took off after the two men who had entered the home ahead of him. He followed the noise and found himself in the middle of what was one of the most distressed scent filled situations he’d ever experienced, and Steve had been to war. 

Bucky was at the bedside sitting next to Jane who was in a nightgown under blankets, sweaty and looking as terrified as she smelled. There were two females with her, one alpha and one omega. Everyone looked hot and sweaty despite the crisp fall day. 

Bucky called to him, “Open the windows. We need fresh air in here. It’s a bit warm, huh Jane?”

Jane cried out again, obviously in terrible pain and Steve cringed, but he watched Bucky soothe her and assess the situation. “How long have you been laboring, Jane? Did your water break yet?’

“Since morning, and I think it did."

Bucky looked to the women, and he asked calmly without a bit of disdain in his voice. “Why is she under so many blankets and the windows closed? Has anyone checked her to see how far along she is?”

Steve could see from the looks on the women’s faces, that no one here knew what they were doing, least of all Jane. He hoped Bucky could help and that Jane and the baby were okay. 

“Okay, Jane. Everything is going to be okay. I’m guessing these ladies were helping you with your birth. Am I right?” 

Jane nodded in response before another contraction tore it’s way through her belly and across her face. Bucky showed her how to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth in a rhythm. Steve found himself breathing the same way, hoping no one noticed

“Alright then, I think it’s safe to say that having a baby gets a little spooky when the pain gets bad, does that sound about right everyone?” Bucky commented, even managing a friendly smile. 

Frightened faces nodded. Bucky put everyone at ease in an instant and Steve was mesmerized. “Okay how about we meet each other and then we all help Jane have this baby?”

I’m Darcy, Jane”s friend,” the girl with dark hair and glasses offered. Her face was blotchy with tears.

“Hey Darcy. I’m Bucky Barnes, the new nurse midwife working with Doc in town. I just happened to be here because Odin was injured. Looks like it’s Jane’s lucky day.”

The other woman who looked a little like Heimdall stepped up. “I’m Valkyrie. Hemdall’s my father.” She had fared a bit better, she wasn’t crying but Steve could feel her stress level decompressing as she knew Bucky was taking over 

“Hi Valkyrie. So I take it no one here has medical training, not judging, just wondering where to start with my exam.” Bucky turned to Jane. “Sweetie, do you want my help? I never actually asked you.”

Jane burst into tears. “Yes, I do, I’m scared.”

Bucky brushed her hair back from her sweaty face and spoke gently, “Jane, look at me. You’re going to be fine. I’m here to help and your body was made to do this. Think about that for a minute. Your body knows what to do, and I am just here to help you let it, alright? Nothing to worry about, just take some deep breaths.”

Jane did and Bucky sort of looked around the room. There was a table that had some medical items on it, like they had set up for the birth even if they were terrified now. 

“Where is Thor? Does he not want to come in?”

Valkyrie spoke, “Odin says birth is for women, not men.”

“Well, I am a man and an omega and I disagree, respectfully of course. Steve, go grab Thor, her alpha will bring her comfort, won’t he Jane?” Again Jane nodded and then another contraction came. Bucky helped her breathe through it. 

Thor came in and Bucky assigned him a place by Jane at the head of the bed. Then he explained what would happen.  
  
“First, I am going to check Jane to see where we are. Second, we are going to help Jane feel better by cleaning her up a bit and making a birthing bed. Third, we are going to help Jane have this baby. Everybody ready to help?”

The tension continued to leave the room. Bucky came over to Steve to talk to him. It was truly all Steve could do to not grab Bucky and kiss him for all he was worth. This wasn’t the time or the place, but there was nothing Steve could do to stop the thoughts in his stupid alpha brain or the feelings in his soft alpha heart. Steve Rogers knew in this room, as he watched Bucky harness the tornado of fear that was present when they entered, with compassion and kindness for every well meaning but out of their depth person present, that he was thoroughly, irreversibly, and everlastingly in love with Bucky Barnes. 

Bucky’s voice snapped him back to reality. The omega was twisting his hair up into a messy bun on top of his head, like he was preparing for a fight. “Steve, I used the only pair of sterile gloves in that bag for Odin and I need to examine her. I need you to lay out everything I have supply wise so I can see what we’ve got to deal with and maybe they will have things we need here somewhere.” 

Steve occupied himself with the job Bucky gave him and laid out all the supplies. He read the packaging of everything on the table and found they had a couple of sets of sterile gloves. He showed them to Bucky. The omega’s smile was brilliant. “Perfect Steve, just what I needed.” 

Bucky showed Steve how to open the gloves for him so Bucky could get the one glove on cleanly and be able to make one set work for two exams. 

“Okay, time for a quick exam. I wish I had a doppler in my bag.to listen first.”

Darcy startled him calling out, “We have a doppler with our stuff.”

“Great,” Bucky said and Darcy handed it to him from a dresser he had not noticed. He saw Steve head over and move all of the stuff to their organized table. Using the doppler, he let them all listen to the strong heartbeat. Jane had another contraction but handled it much better than the others, and Thor soothed her through the worst of it.

“Where can Steve and I wash our hands?” Bucky asked. They were shown the bathroom and while there, Bucky said to Steve. “Listen carefully to me. Fuck my life. That heartbeat was not where it should be given the time she has been laboring. It should be much lower towards her pelvis. I think she might be in breech position. I am going to need you to help me if she is. They are clearly not able to separate themselves from being her friends to assist. Can you do it?”

Steve asked why breech was harder and Bucky put his hand up against Steve’s chin firmly. “Feel how hard my hand is against your chin? Picture my hand as her pelvis and your chin as the baby’s head. We’ll be okay if all goes well, but if for some reason the cord gets stuck between the chin and the pelvis...get the picture?”

Steve swallowed hard. “Just tell me what you need, I’ll do it.”

Bucky went over every item on the table and told Steve what they were so he could call for them as needed. With a sterile glove and a little surgical gel, Bucky examined Jane. Steve saw just Bucky’s shoulders sag just a hair, but the smile never left his face. Steve knew Bucky’s suspicions were correct. 

Speaking reassuringly, Bucky told her his findings. 

“Jane. I need to tell you something and then we are going to get you more comfortable. You are nearly fully dilated, which is great. It means you're getting close to delivery time. That means the baby will come soon. Here’s the thing, your baby is not head down, your baby’s bottom is down. That’s called a breech presentation. There are three kinds of breech presentations and you have the easiest one to deliver, okay? But it is going to mean that you really have to listen to me when I give you directions, okay? Thor, your job is to help Jane follow my directions and do things that help her relax. I’ll show you and tell you.” 

“Is Jane going to be alright? And the babe?” Thor asked, face full of concern. 

“It would be better if Jane were at the hospital, but I don’t think we have time for that. I have delivered breech babies before and we can do it if we work as a team, alright?”

Bucky moved into full midwife mode. He got clean sheets for the bed and told Steve and the girls how to make up the bed and air out the room. Bucky and Thor helped Jane rinse off in the shower and labor there for a while, with the warm water on her back. Steve watched as Bucky gently combed and braided her hair out of her face, all the while helping her through contractions with soft directions and soothing encouragement. It was both impressive and touching. 

Bucky reexamined Jane and declared it time to have the baby. Steve was proud of Bucky and frightened beyond measure. He watched as Bucky got Jane into bed. 

“On your hands and knees, Jane, we need the help of gravity here. Thor, you support her by letting her rest her head on your shoulders. That’s it Jane. Breathe sweetie, breathe. Okay, we are ready to push, so this is the listening part. Push when I say push and breathe when I say breathe. No pushing when I say breathe, okay?”

Jane nodded and so did Steve, even though he wasn’t the one in labor. 

“Next contraction, honey, take a deep breath and push okay, down here in your bottom. Got it?’ Bucky explained and then he waited patiently for the contraction. 

What happened over the next hour was a series of complicated pushes and breathing and Bucky, with sweat beading on his forehead,and a damp spot in the middle of his back, turning the baby this way and that way as it was being born.

At one point still concentrating on Jane’s lower half, a flash of joy passed over his face, “It’s a boy.” 

They all cheered as Bucky slipped one leg free, then the other. Bucky wrapped the baby in a clean hand towel, then he turned the baby so his shoulders were straight up and down, carefully slipping each arm free then applying pressure to make room for each of the shoulders. Then Bucky quieted everyone and said, “This is the hardest part. To deliver the head, I need the baby to tuck it’s chin to its chest. The only way to do that is to let the baby hang from Jane. It is going to look scary and feel scary, but I promise it is safe and as soon as the head comes out enough that I can see the nape of the neck, I can help Jane deliver the head. All set everyone?”

Bucky had Steve help Jane get her hands down from Thor’s shoulders so she was back on her hands and knees. They carefully got her to her back so her bottom was at the edge of the bed.. and Bucky carefully turned and positioned the baby correctly. _Poor Jane_ , Steve thought the entire time. The baby hung from Jane’ birth canal in what seemed like a careless way, and between Bucky and Thor, she was able to breathe through every horrible contraction. When Bucky was satisfied, Steve heard him say, “Jane, this is going to be the worst part because the baby needs my help to come out and it takes a lot of pressure, more than you can push, so Steve is going to help, alright?

Jane nodded, clearly exhausted and in pain and ready to be done. He positioned Steve’s hand where he needed it to be in a fist right above her pelvic bone. “When I tell you to, I want you to lean into your fist. You won’t hurt her, I will be sure of it. It’s important Steve.”

Steve nodded, sick to his stomach, had no idea birth was so gory, and Jane cried out as Bucky reached into her birth canal to help her. “Get me a clean blanket, Darcy.” Bucky instructed. “Jane, one more firm steady push now please.”

Jane began to bear down and Bucky face grimaced for the first time as he looked like he was trying to find something, “There we go. Okay Steve, steady pressure please.”

Steve leaned into his fist and Bucky said, “Come on Jane, little harder, little more, push sweetie, push.” 

Thor was encouraging her and she gave it one last effort. The baby’s head emerged and Bucky put the blanket and the baby on Jane’s belly. It was quiet, too quiet, even Steve knew that, but Bucky said, “APGAR 6,” and began to rub the baby with the blanket. 

To everyone’s relief, the baby let out a loud, strong wail and Bucky, smile wide and telling, shouted, “APGAR 9” 

Jane and Thor were crying and Steve knew he was crying. Basically everyone in the room but Bucky was crying. He was busy with the baby and the cord and then the placenta. Steve stood back against the wall, out of the way and watched Bucky work. Steve knew once again in those moments that he truly loved Bucky. How could anyone so kind, and helpful, and smart, and beautiful, have come to Virgin River and Steve not fall in love with them. 

“Well, 8 pounds 9 ounces and 23 inches. He’s a good sized boy, Jane,” Bucky said as he tucked the baby back in with her. They must have had other home births because they had hanging scales and a tape measure. What they did not have, Bucky had confided in Steve, were the medications a newborn should receive. They really needed to go to the hospital. 

Steve and the girls were eventually ushered out and Bucky helped Thor get Jane settled back into a clean bed with their new baby. Apparently they had asked Bucky his full name because Thor declared to everyone that he had a son named Gunther James Odinson. 

“Gunther means Warrior, and our boy is a warrior today on the great day of his birth. Thank you Nurse Bucky. We thank you for our warrior.” Then he grabbed Bucky in the strongest and warmest of hugs.

That’s when Doc appeared and he and Bucky discussed the birth off to the side, while Jane nursed the baby and Thor doted on her with drinks of water and cool cloths on her head. 

“Did you let the baby hang and rotate til the nape showed?’ Doc asked.

“Yes I did. It was a full breech and the head was the hard part. I did maxillary hold and external pubic pressure, APAGARs 6 then 9 at 3 minute intervals. Muscle tone was good, just color and crying.”

“Excellent, Bucky, great job.” Doc complimented. “I can stay for a while to be sure things are fine. You look beat, why don’t you go.” 

“If you’re sure. I’d feel better if they went to the hospital to be checked out,” Bucky said, taking his hair out of the bun and letting it fall to his shoulders.

“That’s why I want to stay. I am going to have to convince Odin to let them go. I promise, I’ll call if anything changes.” 

Bucky said goodbye to Jane. “I’m going to go Jane. You did a great job today. You too, Thor. Congratulations to both of you. Gunther is a cutie. I’ll come out and check on you, in a few days. He seems to be nursing well, though.”

Jane took a minute to gather herself, she was clearly trying not to cry. “I don’t know how to thank you enough, Bucky. I could not...I don’t know what I would have done…thank you.” She reached out her free arm to hug Bucky and he leaned in and gave her a sweet lingering hug that only the two of them could share. The omega bond was palpable. 

“You’re very welcome, Jane and next time we’ll meet the whole pregnancy and know what’s coming at us, right?” Bucky said with a chuckle. Jane nodded. Steve sensed that Bucky’s patient load would build after word got out about Jane’s delivery. 

Doc told them he would get the bags, and with an attempted affectionate pat on Bucky’s shoulder, he sent them on their way. Steve opened the passenger door and Bucky rolled his eyes, but got in. They were headed back to town when Steve began to notice Bucky’s scent change to distress, not a surprise, but Steve was concerned. He could only puzzle at how Bucky had held it all together through that delivery. It was the scent of sadness following the distress that worried him more. 

Steve could hear Bucky snuffling his tears with his head turned toward the truck window. He tried to be respectful and let Bucky have his moment of privacy, as much as he could in the cab of a truck. He could hear Bucky’s breathing become rougher and rougher and the cab began to fill with the bitter scent of sickness and sorrow. 

Bucky spoke softly at first but was soon yelling, Pull over, Steve. Pull the fucking truck over.”

He stumbled out of the passenger side and falling to his knees in the gravel at the side of the road, he began to vomit. Steve jumped out of the truck and grabbed Bucky’s hair out of the way. He rubbed circles on his back and tried to help him calm down.

“That’s it Bucky, let it out. It’s been a day hasn’t it. It’s okay, try to breathe.” Steve did his best to soothe Bucky through this awful moment. When Bucky shrugged his shoulder, Steve backed off. He went to the truck and grabbed a water bottle he'd had from this morning. It was better than nothing. He had some napkins in the console and he offered both to Bucky. 

“Thanks.” Bucky said and he walked up the road a bit. 

“Bucky, why don’t we get back in the truck? We can head-”

“Just give me a minute!” Bucky barked back at him. The look on Bucky’s face told Steve a story he had seen too many times on the battlefield. Bucky’s gaze was stone cold and merciless. Steve had been on the giving and receiving end of that gaze more times than he liked to remember and many nights a gaze like that entered his dreams and woke him. 

Steve leaned against the truck and waited while Bucky walked up and down the road, getting whatever he needed to out of his system. He kept rinsing out his mouth and spitting. Steve was sure at one point Buck’s shoulders shook with sobs and Steve’s heart broke. He wished Bucky would let him hug him like he had in the field at Clint’s farm. 

Bucky’s breathing slowed and Steve watched from his distance as Bucky let his head fall back as if the light hitting his face was a comfort. He shook his arms out and seemed to be trying to settle himself down. He turned and walked towards the truck. He walked past Steve and climbed in the open cab door, closing it. Steve walked around and climbed in on his side. He put the key in the ignition and was going to start the truck when Bucky spoke, softly.

“I apologize for my tone back there. I needed a moment.” He was facing directly ahead. He did not turn to Steve to speak. 

“I totally understand. It’s been quite a day. I have to say, you handled yourself magnificently and if I can do anything to help you feel better-”

Without missing a beat or turning his head, Bucky interrupted. “With all due respect, Steve. I am grateful for your help at the farm, but save the sentiments for your girlfriend.” 

Steve dropped his hand from the keys to rest on his thigh. He gave it a few seconds and then thought fuck it, and went for it. “She’s not my girlfriend, and if she had been she isn’t anymore.”

“You’re literally going to be selfish and do this now?” Bucky asked incredulously. He was facing Steve and looking might pissed.

Steve raised his chin. “May as well, you hate me anyway. Been avoiding me pretty well, and that’s saying something for Virgin River.” Steve hated the matter of fact military tone in his voice. He never wanted to speak to Bucky like that.

“Well if we’re going for it, she certainly looked like your girlfriend. You certainly don’t kiss Sam or Nat like you kissed her. You certainly didn’t object.”

“We had an understanding... an arrangement, not a relationship.”

“What are you? In highschool? Friends with benefits is supposed to make me feel better? She’s fine for fucking but not for the title of your girlfriend? Wow, let me get in on that action! You probably help her through her heats too, I bet”

That last one stung and Steve felt his anger increase. “Now wait just a second. I never, ever helped her through her heats. That was not what we had. We were both looking for a hook up and decided we could meet up once in a while and release some steam. It was nothing more. Not like I feel about you.” The last part slipped out before he realized and could stop it.

Bucky’s face was red and his scent was acrid. “Well, I’ve got news for you. I am not on the market. Not for a pick up, not for a FWB, not for a relationship as you call it.” 

Steve felt slapped. He could almost feel the heat from where a hand would have made contact on his face. This had gone terribly and as long as he had opened the door, he was going to finish what he could.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Buck asked tersely.

“For a lot of things. For ever letting Lorraine think she was more than a hookup. For the pain I caused you when you saw us together. For not going to you that night and explaining, and for every day after that I let you avoid me. But mostly for not telling you that you are the most wonderful person I have ever met and that I felt a connection the very first night-”

“Don’t, Steve…”

“Don’t what Bucky? I’ve clearly already fucked up any chance I had, but I can’t live the rest of my life not at least letting you know my feelings.” 

“I can’t, Steve. You don’t want the baggage I bring with me.”

Steve turned and he softened his voice. “You know what I want? I want to know what made you so sad at Clint’s and I want to work hard for the rest of my life to make sure you never feel that sad again.”

Bucky looked at Steve and as their eyes connected, Bucky’s lower lip wobbled, so he bit it. “You have no idea, Steve. I just…”

“Look at me Bucky, Look at me and tell me you don’t feel anything for me. Tell me you don’t want what Jane and Thor have when they look at each other. I’ve avoided relationships my whole adult life because I never felt that, but I do...when I look at you or think about _you_!”

“I’m broken, Steve.”

“Broken? What are you talking about?”

“I couldn’t...I can’t...I loved my husband Steve. I did. Maybe not like Jane and Thor, but I loved him. We met at the hospital on my first day. I got hurt by a patient and he fixed me up. It was instant, for both of us. It progressed like any relationship should. We moved in, got engaged, got married...except....”

Bucky wiped his eyes and Steve handed him another napkin from the console. “What happened, Bucky?”

“Brock’s bite never took. He tried every time he knotted me, but it always disappeared. So we went the medical route and even the medical bonding failed. They said it was something related to a chemical I was exposed to when I lost this,” Bucky said as he held up his left arm.

“So Brock was okay with that until we wanted a child. Not only could we not bond, I couldn’t go into heat. So I wanted to try IVF, but Brock decided we’d try medically induced heats first, try to conceive the old fashioned way. That was a fun year. I could barely work, but he insisted and I loved him.” 

Steve could smell Bucky’s scent move from anger to sadness. “What happened?’

“I got pregnant and it was the most exciting and happy nine months of my life. We set up a nursery and things were right. I went into labor and Brock was wonderful and supportive…”

Steve watched as Bucky crumbled and began to sob into his hands. He scrambled from the truck and went around to the passenger side. He opened the door and pulled Bucky into his arms. Bucky let him and he cried like the day at the farm. Steve could certainly guess what happened. 

Bucky pushed Steve back gently and continued. “There was a complication at the delivery, a placental abruption. They whisked me into surgery, but our baby died. My Winnie never even took a breath.”

“Bucky, Jesus. I’m so sorry.” 

“The worst part was that I developed postpartum depression, just like Clint. Brock was a doctor and recognized it and got me help, but it was almost a year before I really even left the house.”

“Where is Brock now, did you get divorced or something?”

“I became obsessed with getting pregnant and insisted on IVF rounds. We tried for two years without success. Brock wanted to stop, but he had promised me that if I went to therapy for the postpartum, we could try until I got pregnant. We were driving to a party and arguing over the next round of trying. It was raining and I was yelling and I distracted Brock. He ran a late yellow light at a very busy intersection and we were t boned. They hit Brock’s side and he lived a few hours before succumbing to his injuries.”

Steve reached for Bucky to hug him, what words could help, but Bucky put his hands out to stop him. He smiled, chuckled sadly and said, “See Steve. You don’t want to saddle yourself with me. I can’t bond, I can’t give you a family and I killed my first husband. Run while you can.”

“Get in the truck, Bucky,” Steve said as he tried to absorb all that Bucky had said to him. 

Bucky had climbed into the truck certain that he had chased Steve off for good. Bucky may have had some feelings for Steve, especially after today at the farm when he had tried so hard to help. Bucky knew Steve was struggling, but he never complained and he followed every direction Bucky gave him. An alpha like that deserved someone who could give him everything and omega should. He figured Steve realized that because he didn’t say much as they drove back to town.

Steve went past the turn for the Stark's and pulled into the driveway of the old cabin. As they came to a stop, Bucky was utterly astonished. It looked like a photo from a vacation brochure. The cabin was completely cleaned up. There was landscaping in front of the porch that contained adirondack chairs on one side and a porch swing for two people on the other. The lawn had been cleaned up and there was a little stone pathway from the garage to the steps of the porch. There was even a garage build next to the cabin. 

“Steve!” Bucky “Did Natasha do thi

“No, I did, Bucky. Peter helped me a bit. I did it for you, so you could have your own place here in Virgin River. You deserve it and you’ve earned it. Do you want to see inside?”

Bucky was out and around the truck before Steve even closed his door. Steve held up two keys and Bucky smiled and snatched them from his hand, running to the door. Steve followed slowly, letting Bucky take it all in. 

The interior of the cabin looked brand new in every way it could. Walls had been removed and there was a great room area that was a dining room, living room and kitchen with an island. Bucky could see himself having friends over in that space. Down the hall there was a bathroom and a small bedroom, but at the end of the hall was a large master bedroom with a walk-in closet and a master bath with a soaking tub that was right out of Bucky’s dreams. The whole cabin was furnished in very soft tans and coffee colors and Bucky loved every choice that was made.

He turned to Steve. “How?”

“Let’s just say that May has a keen ear and an eye for furniture and stuff,” Steve laughed. “Do you like it?”

“I love it. I really, truly love it. Thank you, Steve.” 

“You’re welcome. I’ll bring my truck to help move your stuff over in the morning if that’s okay.”

“Steve, I hope you understand, It’s not you…”

“It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve heard that before. I get it. You know you’re not the only one with baggage. It’s kind of a turn off when your date falls asleep in your bed but then pisses himself when he has a night terror from his PTSD. There’s no category for that on the dating apps, but can’t blame a guy for trying, right?”

Bucky’s eyes softened and he seemed to struggle for words.

“Bucky, you;re not broken to me. You’re just the Bucky I met and fell in love with. That’s all I expect.”

“I can’t give you what Jane and Thor have. I saw you want that back there,” Bucky’s voice caught.

Steve insisted, “I don’t want what someone else has. I want what we can be. Let’s not live out someone else’s fairytale...let's write our own, together. You have to feel something for me, I can sense it.” 

“I’m scared I do and I’m afraid I’m not enough.” Bucky admitted as he walked up to Steve in the living room. 

Steve closed the space and took Bcuky’s hands in his. “Bucky, I want you exactly as you are and you’re already more than enough.” 

Bucky looked up at Steve with his beautiful grey eyes. Steve was terrified he would still say no, and then Bucky smiled as those beautiful grey eyes filled with tears and gently spilled over. “If I kiss you can you promise me it won’t mean too much?”

Steve smiled back, “No, I can’t. If you kiss me, Bucky, it will mean everything.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “You’re such a punk, I meant it won’t mean too much for tonight.”

Steve ignored Bucky’s deflection, leaned in, and kissed him exactly the way he wanted to since the first time he met him, taking whatever Bucky was willing to give in that moment. Just like Steve thought and despite Bucky’s fears, it was enough. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we are getting there. Thoughts, concerns, questions?


	7. Inception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and Steve come to an understanding...or at least Steve comes up with a plan!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, it's been a fucking week at work. I am worn out, but I wanted to give you a little more fluff and comfort. Poorly edited at best, sorry. I've been editing the shit out of a document at work, so I have nothing left in that area. I hope you enjoy!

Steve’s lips were soft and he kissed warmly, with gentle energy. It was as intense as Bucky had ever imagined yet not overpowering like most alpha’s Bucky had ever kissed, including Brock. Steve’s beard though...the feel of it surpassed even Bucky’s wildest dreams. It was thick and lush, with hardly any bristly texture at all. Buck imagined Steve taking good care of that beard to keep it that soft. .

The first kiss was chaste and mellow, a slow testing of the waters, so to speak, but still weighty. Steve pulled back just a bit for them to take a breath and regroup, but Bucky pulled him right back into his space, one hand inside Steve’s jacket, on his tapered waist, the other slid up Steve’s arm to cup his face and brush his thumb across that caramelly covered cheek. 

Steve tilted his head to deepen the next kiss, jumping slightly when he found Bucky’s mouth opening beneath him relaxed and eager. He skimmed his right hand up the middle of Bucky’s back and into the softness that was Bucky’s hair. He closed his fist gently, not wanting to tug, but needing to finally hold it firmly in his hand. He held Bucky’s head in place and tentatively explored the kiss with his tongue, pleasantly surprised when he found Bucky searching and responsive in return. Steve plundered back and Bucky did not retreat. 

They broke apart, spit slick and panting into each other’s mouths. Bucky’s grey eyes looked happy but tired. “Everything, Bucky...everything,” Steve whispered.

Steve was thrilled when Bucky laid his head on his shoulder, tucking into his neck. Steve stroked his hand over Bucky’s hair and just held him close. He could feel Bucky tremble now and then and imagined that the adrenaline of the day was wearing off.

“You look tired, Buck. Why don’t I take you home.”

“I kinda feel like I am home, Steve,” Bucky answered with a quirk of a smile. 

Steve touched their foreheads together. “Makes me happy to hear you say that. You’re stuff’s not here yet, though. I was thinking if you went back to your room, you could shower, I could run home and shower, check in with Sam at the bar and then bring you back some dinner. Are you hungry?”

“I’m starving, and I _am_ tired.”

Steve leaned in and gave Bucky one more sweet kiss. “Alright then, lock your door and I’ll drive you over to the Stark’s.”

Bucky was feeling shakier and shakier as the day’s events began to sink in. The drive to his room was bumpy and jarring. Steve seemed to know Bucky was struggling and when they got out of the truck, he looped an arm around Bucky’s waist in support. 

Tony and Pepper wanted a quick rundown as to where Bucky had been and Steve filled them in like the saint he was. Buck chirped in here or there but he was fading fast. Making their excuses to a raised eyebrow from Tony, Steve got Bucky up to his room. 

“You gonna be okay in the shower, Bucky? You look a little uneasy.”

“I think I need a drink of water, there in the fridge, I have some.” Bucky said pointing to the minifridge.

Steve helped him sit on the bed and cracked open a bottle. Bucky guzzled the entire thing. He realized he hadn't had anything to drink since they left for the farm, other than the two sips he had saved after rinsing the puke out of his mouth. He felt markedly better and he really needed a shower.

“I needed that and I am realising how gross I am. How did you even kiss me?

Steve smiled at him, “Best kiss of my life, Buck.”

“Ha,” Bucky laughed back. “I really need a shower.”

“You steady enough for that? Not to harp but you were a bit shaky on the way over.” Steve asked, concern furrowing his forehead. 

“Before the water no. Now? I think so. Even so, could you stay while I jump in, just in case?”

Steve’s eyes softened, “Sure Bucky, anything you need.” 

Bucky nodded, and gathered some flannel pants and a henley he’d been wearing for pajamas. He leaned over to get his boots untied, but Steve jumped to help him insisting Bucky let him. 

“Thanks, Steve. I’ll be quick,” Bucky said as he headed into the bathroom. 

“Call me if you feel lightheaded or something?”

“Or something?” Bucky teased.

“You know what I meant,” Steve groaned as Bucky closed the bathroom door. 

Bucky showered quickly, scrubbing the sweat and grime off of his body and out of his hair. He just kept remembering Jane’s birth and all that could have gone wrong but didn’t. She delivered her first baby in breech position in a farm house with no equipment, and her baby was perfectly fine. Yet, he and Brock had every medical advancement they could have needed and she didn’t make it. He was happy for Jane and Thor, but it was hard. 

It was hitting him that it was his first delivery in three years. His first since losing Winnie, and he’d done it without hesitation. At least he could be proud of that.

Still a little wobbly, he had to sit on the toilet to get his boxers and pants on, and he exited the steamy bathroom with his comb in his hand. He wasn’t sure he could even take care of his own hair. Steve seemed to note Bucky was wiped because he sat Bucky on the footstool in front of the overstuffed chair and standing behind him, he combed Bucky’s hair for him.

There was a tenderness in the way Steve helped him. A caring that Bucky hadn't experienced in a while. “Blow dryer?” Steve asked. Bucky pointed to the bathroom.

Steve came back with it, plugged it in and combed his fingers through Bucky’s hair as he dried it. When it was barely damp, Steve said, “That should be enough to keep your pillow dry. Why don’t you lay down while I run and take my shower and grab us some dinner. Sam’s making chicken pot pie. That sound okay?”

“Totally, and I think I will lay down, but not under the covers or you won’t hear from me for the night,” Bucky said crawling onto the bed. Steve covered him with a throw and headed out. 

Bucky woke to find the room doused in darkness except for the bedside lamp on low. Shit, he must have fallen asleep while Steve was gone to the bar. He stretched his body with a groan, he’d have to apologize to Steve. He looked for his phone where he left it on the bed next to him and found it. Right next to his phone was a note, Bucky wondered if Steve had come back, found him asleep and left. He rubbed his eyes sat up and by the light of his phone he read:

_Dear Bucky,_

_I hope you don’t find it creepy that I stayed,_

Bucky’s eyes shot up immediately to look around the room. They fell on Steve asleep in the overstuffed chair on which he had earlier combed his hair. Steve looked gargantuan sleeping there. Bucky smiled and then continued to read...

_but I came back to find you sound asleep and I did not want to leave you alone. I promised I would come back with dinner and I was worried you might wake up and either be hungry or still not be feeling quite yourself. I did bring you a chicken pot pie, it’s in your fridge. If you wake up hungry in the night, get me up. I can either go if you are uncomfortable with me here, or I can heat up your dinner downstairs. I spoke to Tony and Pepper and they don’t mind._

_Thanks for a great day, I know it was hard for you,_

_Steve_

Bucky was torn. On one hand he wanted to wake Steve, but on the other, Steve looked so peaceful even if he was jammed into the chair. He decided to let Steve sleep and to go heat up the pot pie himself. He quietly got it from the fridge and headed downstairs. He had never used the kitchen before but he found the microwave and heated up his plate. There had been a fork on top of the fridge so he went back up to find it. 

He climbed up on the bed, sitting with his legs folded and dove into the pie. It was delicious and Bucky could not believe how hungry he was. He was halfway through when he lost the grip on his fork and it fell to the plate with a loud clatter. 

“Shit!” he whispered louder than he intended. 

He glanced up to see Steve stir in the chair. He startled awake with a cry and stood swiftly to his feet. He shouted names Bucky had never heard and his face morphed into an image of deep sadness and grief. Bucky moved the plate to the side table and jumped off the bed to help him.

It had been hard in the dark to see Steve’s eyes, but when he got closer, he could see that Steve was not awake. His eyes were open and he was panting and fearful, but staring off into the distance. Gently, Bucky put his hand on Steve’s arm, careful to keep his distance in case he startled Steve awake. Bucky knew that some veterans could strike out during a terror. He knew that he and Brock had taken a swing or two by mistake after being woken in a nightmare. 

Whispering he convinced Steve to lay back down with just a little pressure on his bicep. “Hey, it’s alright, Steve. You’re asleep, lay back down.” Steve swallowed and listened to Bucky in a very childlike way, crawling back into the chair. Bucky covered him with a throw from the back of the chair, hesitated, but then climbed back into bed and finished his dinner. He was just reaching over to flick off the light when he heard Steve.

“Bucky?” Steve asked tentatively. “You alright?”

“Yeah, Steve. I’m fine. Go back to sleep. I just ate my dinner, I’m going back to bed, too.”

Steve walked over to Bucky in the bed and Bucky was unsure what Steve intended to do, hopefully not climb in with him, Bucky was certainly not ready for that yet. He was embarrassed at his assumption and also touched when Steve pulled the covers up to Bucky’s shoulders, brushed the hair back from his forehead to place a gentle kiss there. 

“Night, Buck. Get some rest, you certainly earned it. Anyone ever tell you that you snore?”

“I most certainly do not!” Bucky protested, feeling his cheeks heat.

“You most certainly do, and it is the sweetest little snore I ever heard.” 

“Oh my god, shut up, Steve.” Bucky groaned, really feeling the heat in his face now. He could hear the alpha chuckle as he climbed back into the chair. 

“Night Bucky.”

“Good night, Steve.”

***

Bucky and Steve woke up a little awkwardly in the morning. Steve, who slept fully dressed offered to go get coffee and Bucky got dressed quickly while he was gone and started to pack up. He filled his two suitcases with the clothing from his dressers. He decided to carry the clothes in his closet on the hangars the way they were. 

He had a laundry bag with his dirty clothes and threw the towels down the chute to the laundry room. He’d have to buy towels of his own he guessed. He had one of his reusable shopping bags and was packing his toiletries from the bathroom when his phone rang.

“Bucky here.”

“He Bucky, it’s Bruce. I just wanted to let you know that I am going to cover your appointments today so you can take the day. I talked to Odin yesterday after you left and it sounds like you had quite a day. Get some rest and recharge. You did a great job out there at the farm, I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Bruce. You don’t have to do that, though. I can come in. I was just moving my things to the cabin and then was going to come in.” 

“I don’t mind and I kind of insist. A little birdie told me the cabin got fixed up for you. Why don’t you just take the day and get settled? A long weekend will be good for you. You’ve been working very hard. You check on Clint three times a week and you’re tracking all the omegas…”

“Bruce…”

“Listen, you never said anything to me but I could see you were shaken yesterday. When was the last time you delivered a baby?”

“Jane was my first since...in a long time.” Bucky hesitated and then continued. “Bruce, I should have told you before, but I didn’t. I lost a baby of my own three years ago, placental abruption right at 10 centimeters, and I just couldn’t be at a birth after that. When Thor came and got me yesterday, I just went into auto pilot.”

“Jesus, Bucky, I’m so sorry. No wonder you were so good with Clint. You had postpartum didn’t you?”

“I did, listen, I’d understand if you were upset with me…”

“Bucky, man, I am not upset at all. I’m impressed and I want you to know you can call me for backup or support, but I am going to trust you to tell me when it is too much. Listen, enjoy your weekend, thanks for sharing. Enjoy the cabin, May says it’s beautiful now.”

Bucky worked to swallow the lump in his throat, to answer Bruce. “Thanks. I think I will. I appreciate your support. I want you to know that I was comfortable yesterday. I’m ready to be back.”

“You got it Bucky. I trust you. Jane is a lucky girl that you were there yesterday. See you Monday.”

“Yup,” was all Bucky got out before hanging up.

Steve knocked and entered with coffee and a breakfast and it looked like Bucky was just getting off the phone. Steve thought he looked upset.

“Everything okay, Bucky?”

Bucky nodded rapidly, too rapidly for someone who was actually okay but Steve gave him a courtesy minute to collect himself just in case Bucky needed it. 

Clearing his throat, Bucky said, “That was...umm that was Bruce telling me to take the day off and enjoy the long weekend. Said I did a good job yesterday. I kind of had to explain it was the first in a long time...since…”

“Since what?” Steve asked innocently. 

“Jane was my first delivery in three years. My first since my Winnie,” Bucky said, voice quivering. 

“That must have been very hard, Bucky. I would never have known. You seemed so confident,” Steve answered. 

Bucky huffed out a breath, willing his tears away. He’d already cried too much in front of Steve for his own comfort level. Still he was struggling to understand the inequity of his birth experience. 

“It just...it was hard. I mean on one hand, I just did it. I knew I had the skills and she needed me. But...there we were in the middle of nowhere with no equipment and one of the most difficult complications for a first time omega and no problems, healthy baby. I had every appointment, state of the art hospital, top notch doctors, watched every fucking bite of food I took to be sure she was healthy, and…”

Steve didn’t wait for Bucky to finish. He just crushed him to his own chest. Bucky just melted into him. It wasn’t so much crying as it was as if Bucky was relieved to be held. It almost seemed to Steve that Bucky was tired of holding himself together and was glad to have the support of Steve to hold his _together_ for him. Bucky looked up, quiet tear tracks down his cheeks, nose runny…

“Don’t pity me, Steve. I couldn’t stand it if you pitied me.”

“Buck, I don’t pity you, not one bit. I admire you...what you’ve been through would break most and yet here you are willing to try again. Willing to let someone in...its not pity I feel...its sorrow and affection.”

“I’m just tired, Steve. I’m tired of being alone in it all. I was married to Brock and loved him but the last two years tore us apart. I feel like I’ve been on my own for a while now.”

“Well,” Steve said carefully. “You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

Bucky pushed back from his chest and stammered, “Steve...I hope I didn’t...I mean…”

Steve raised his face to the ceiling and let out a warm belly laugh. “I didn’t mean anything crazy. I hear where you are coming from. Let’s just hang out, be there for each other and see where it goes, okay? I know I am more ready than you. I get it. I’m okay with that.”

“You’re sure, I mean I don’t want you to feel beholden-”

“Beholden? For what? Bucky we aren’t on the prairie losing wheat crops to a dust storm.”

“Hey,” Bucky protested.

“I'm just saying, neither of us has a perfect past, so we get that about each other, we like to run and we talk to each other easily. The rest will fall into place, if it doesn’t we’ll be great friends, right?”

“You’d be okay with that...if we ended up friends?” Bucky asked like he was astonished. 

“Hell no! I would be crushed. It would be like getting my heart stomped on! But...I have a plan so that doesn’t happen!” Steve answered emphatically with a finger raised as if in triumph..

“A plan? What’s your plan, then?”

Steve kissed him chastely on the mouth before answering, his register dropping to a delicious low Bucky had never heard, but truly loved. “I intend to woo the shit out of you.”

Bucky grinned, “Oh you do, do you?”

“Oh, yes I do.” Steve picked up a coffee and a bag and handed it to Bucky. “Let the wooing begin. One latte and a bacon egg and cheese breakfast sandwich for you.”

Bucky took it and then Steve playfully pushed Bucky into the chair. He grabbed the two packed suitcases. “These going to the truck?” Bucky nodded around a huge bite of sandwich.

“Prepare yourself to be wooed like no other has _ever_ been wooed.” Steve declared. He disappeared out the door and around the corner. Just his head popped back into view. “The wooing of the century, Buck. Books will be written about how one Bucky Barnes was wooed.”

Bucky laughed as Steve and the incredible twinkle in his eye disappeared around the corner again. He thought as he ate his breakfast, maybe a good wooing was just what he needed. Maybe, just maybe, _Steve_ was just what he needed. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wooing has begun...


	8. Persuasion Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky settle into their new found routine as Steve begins his plans to win Bucky's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all pretend all of the calendars of the world are suspended so I can squeeze the wooing in before the Moonlight Mingle which happens in the late fall. I have a bad habit of not keeping my timeline straight! Oooops... Let the wooing begin. Steve is probably great at it, right???

Steve and Bucky settled into a nice rhythm, an easy rhythm, after their come to Jesus day. Bucky luxuriated in having his own space, especially space that has no reminders or links to his past other than ones he chose to bring with him when he left Brooklyn. He even went so far as to put his wedding ring box in the furthest corner of his walk-in closet, the very closet hand made by Steve. 

Bucky certainly didn’t consider himself a clothes horse or anything, but the little spike of adrenaline he got when he walked in and saw all of his clothes neat as a pin, and his shoes all in a row on the shelves, easy to choose from, made him question it occasionally. It had nothing to do with the thought of Steve sweaty and covered in wood shavings, the ultimate lumberjack woodworker crafting the room with his bare hands. He knew lumberjack was an exaggeration, but he couldn’t help how his brain worked, not when it came to Steve. 

“Yeah, so I’m going to start my first classes this week. We have quite a few omega’s in their third trimester who want childbirth and breastfeeding classes. Normally they have to drive the 30 minutes to Clear Water for them. Doc says it will be good to have them in town.”

“That’s great, Bucky,” Steve huffed as they ran along the main road out of town. Steve had set them up on alternate running routes so they didn’t get bored. He had his first installment of _Steve Rogers Woos Bucky Barnes Within an Inch of His Life_ set up for today, He didn’t start directly after their talk, he gave Bucky a few days to start looking, to build the anticipation. He knew Bucky was waiting, he could see a spark of curiosity in his eye every day that something didn't happen. Still Steve had his schedule, his elaborate wooing plan, well under control. 

Every year, Virgin River hosted the Moonlight Mingle in late Fall. Steve had about two weeks until that event. It was Steve’s goal to have them be a dating couple by then. No pressure if Bucky said no, but Steve _really_ wanted him and Bucky to attend together… like _together_ together. 

For now he listened as Bucky, happily and enthusiastically told Steve about his new omega health education classes. It was the brightest he’d seen Bucky since he arrived and it looked good on the handsome omega. Steve was not afraid to say that he was gone on Bucky. He acted sure of himself in regard to courting Bucky, but he was not completely sure in the quiet of his own mind and heart. He was a little nervous and glad he was finally getting started. 

When they finished their run, Steve awkwardly left Bucky at the cabin. The first time they saw each other after Bucky moved into the cabin, Steve sort of assumed they would casually kiss upon saying hello and goodbye, but Bucky didn’t make the move, so Steve aborted his approach clumsily. He deflated a bit but Bucky smiled brightly and seemed glad to see him, so Steve just squeezed Bucky’s hand or brushed a hand over Bucky’s shoulder when they greeted or parted ways. It was so hard for Steve not to be physically affectionate to Bucky, he missed kissing Bucky. 

****

Running in the morning was good for Bucky. It got him up early and he was feeling good at work. The best part about it was seeing Steve first thing in the morning. With their lives intermingling, reality hit. Bucky worked days and Steve worked evenings. Luckily during the week the bar was not super busy, but on the weekends it was and they were going to have to navigate that. 

Steve still hadn’t done any major romantic work yet and Bucky was becoming puzzled if not curious as to why. 

He was showered and on his way to the office quickly to start his first big education undertaking. He was starting a prenatal group class. They had a number of pregnant omegas in the practice and May sent them letters to see who was interested. Bucky figured starting with prenatal would be good because couples at all stages in pregnancy could attend. He would offer childbirth classes, in particular his own brand of Lamaze/hypnobirthing, when he could assess who is ready to prepare for giving birth. He knew Tony and Pepper were probably going to attend both. 

He popped in the door of the office to find May already there and opening up for the day. “Good Morning, May.”

“Hey Bucky, how are you today? Any updates in the world of wooing?”

Bucky laughed aloud. He knew May was in his corner, he’s talked with her since she started and knew that Bucky was tentative but interested in Steve. She had encouraged Bucky, saying Steve was a great guy and the whole town thought the two men made a great couple. He also thought she encouraged Steve as well, like a little Italian matchmaker. 

“Nope, not a one,” he answers, popping the p. “Maybe he’s changed his mind,” he teased her.

“He better not have. You deserve to be wooed and he promised. Plus you two are are _gorgeous_ together”

Bucky felt his face heat at her words. He pretended it didn’t bother him, but he knew what Steve said and yet nothing. It would have to wait because Bucky’s first patient arrived and the day began. He was about four patients in and finishing some notes while eating an apple when May called him out to the reception area. 

“Oh Bucky, can you come here for a minute? Someone is here for you.”

Bucky assumed it was a walk in with a question and headed out mid bite. He stopped in his tracks. It was Wanda Maximoff. She and her boyfriend Vision owned the local florist and greenhouse business. They were from Europe somewhere if Bucky was right about their accents. She was standing by the counter with an enormous arrangement of flowers wrapped in plastic. 

“Delivery for you, Nurse Barnes,” she said proudly. She handed them to Bucky and he realized the container the flowers were arranged in was a real pumpkin.

“Thank you Wanda, and you can call me Bucky,” he replied and set them on the counter to unwrap them. They were artfully displayed, each flower is clearly in its prime. They were lovely. “Wanda, these are so beautiful. Thank you so much. You outdid yourself.”

“Don’t thank me, thank a certain alpha,” she laughed as she headed for the door. 

Bucky ran to catch up and tip her but she refused his five announcing, “Oh no. The sender was adamant that he take care of that as well, no need to tip.” 

“Well, thank you again.” She nodded at him and left. He turned toward the flowers to find May with a huge grin on her face. 

“These are nice flowers, Bucky...sunflowers, fall colored gerberas, and looky there, red roses…” May observed, her tone quite playful. 

“Yep, they are lovely,” Bucky agreed. They were. Flowers often showed up at work for Bucky from Brock, before. He read the card and sighed. 

“Why do you not look thrilled? Do you not like flowers? This is a cute arrangement. He’s starting!” May squealed, her voice far more excited than Bucky felt. 

Bucky huffed out a breath. “I like flowers...I don’t know...cut flowers just die and all Steve did was make a phone call, look, the card is even printed. These were probably pretty pricey, but if I am being honest, it's the swipe of a credit card, and that's it. He might have looked online or asked what they had, but anyone can order flowers. I used to get big bouquets like this all the time. It’s just not…”

“Personal,” May finished. 

“Exactly.” Bucky was happy Steve was trying but wooing Bucky was never going to be about money. “You want to know the truth?”

“I do,” May answered looking intensely at Bucky. 

“I would have appreciated it more if Steve had gone to the shop, picked out one perfect flower he thought I would love, signed the card himself, and then dropped it off in person.” 

“I totally get it now.”

“May, I’m not ungrateful. I must sound like such a jerk. I do love them. Don’t say anything to him about what I just said. He meant well. I should be more appreciative.” 

“I won’t say a thing, Bucky, but I completely heard you. I see what you meant.”

Of course every person who came in for the prenatal classes oohed and ahhed over the flowers and asked who sent them, making Bucky feel like even more of a jerk. He carried them home and put them on his kitchen table. He had to admit they looked nice.

***

Tony and Pepper had come to eat at the bar and while they were chatting, Tony mentioned the prenatal class. “Yeah, it is gonna be a great class. Bucky really knows his stuff and he's going to do a birthing class next. Pepper and I didn’t want to drive to Clear Water in the snow, so lucky us, right Pep?”

“Yes, I for one am grateful for that. Since Tony can’t fit behind the wheel and reach the pedals it would have been me driving and I hate driving in the snow.”

“How was Bucky today?” Steve asked, hoping to get some idea of how much Bucky loved his flowers. He’d told Wanda to make it super nice and not to put any cheap carnations in it. 

“He was fine. He got fancy flowers today from a friend today,” Tony answered between bites of pie. 

Steve felt his stomach drop. “He got what?”

Tony explained, “There was a big bouquet of flowers in this pumpkin and when we all asked about them, he shrugged his shoulders and said a friend sent them.”

Pepper smiled and nodded, “They were charming. They would have looked beautiful in our dining room for sure. Very festive.” 

Steve felt his face burn in embarrassment, though there was no need. Clearly Bucky had not said they were from him. Still, he had thought Bucky would love those when he saw them online. He called Wanda to be sure she could do it and everything. 

“You okay, Steve?” Pepper asked, looking concerned. 

“What? Yeah, sorry, just busy tonight, got a lot on my mind is all.” 

“Sure, we’ll take the bill when you have a chance. Tony here is gonna fall asleep in his dessert if I don’t get him home soon.”

Steve laughed as he printed their bill. The night went on and Bucky didn’t come for dinner, not that he did every night, but Steve thought after the flowers, he might. 

Sam must have been thinking the same thing. “No Bucky, huh? Did he get the flowers?”

“He must have. Tony and Pepper saw them today. Must have been a long day with all the patients and then teaching his first class.”

“Did they say if he said he liked them?” Sam asked.

Steve was wiping down the bar. He stopped to look at Sam. “He told them that a _friend_ sent them.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. Then he seemed to change his mind. “Well, maybe he isn’t a flowers kind of guy?” 

Steve shrugged. Sam patted him on the back. “If at first you don’t succeed…”

Peter came out of the back with clean glasses before Sam could continue and Steve had an idea. “Hey Pete, you drive in today?”

“Nope, Aunt May is coming to get me.”

“Don't leave without telling me. I need to ask your Aunt a question.”

The night picked back up and before Steve knew it, Peter was gone and it was time to close the bar. His phone pinged, Bucky’s text sound. Steve pulled his phone from his pocket. It was a photo of the flowers on Bucky’s table. 

**B: Thanks for the lovely flowers.**

Steve felt a little better, but not much. He just decided he was going to swallow his pride. He wouldnt know if he didn’t ask, and he really didn’t want to mess this up. He took a deep breath and texted back.

**S: You don’t seem thrilled. Am I off base? Not a flower person?**

**B: Honestly?**

**S: Please…**

**B: For me, it comes from a place where it was seen as an easy fix or apology or gift at the last minute. I’d rather have you bring me one flower than spend what you did today with a phone call.**

Steve thought for a minute. When he didn’t answer, the ellipsis of a coming message appeared. Steve was still processing Bucky’s text.

**B: I’m sorry if I seem ungrateful and for mentioning the past, but it’s what Brock did when he was in the dog house and for my birthday or our anniversary if he forgot. It was a 90 second call and a credit card transaction...and he thought things would be better...**

Steve was a little stunned. He never really thought about it like that, but then again alphas probably gave more flowers than they received. He had ordered flowers for all the omegas he had dated. The light bulb went on just as another text came through.

**B: Steve…**

Oh geez, Steve scrambled to answer. He got it. He heard Bucky. He wanted to feel special, he _should_ feel special. Steve needed to give Bucky part of himself, his time, his energy, his attention. 

**S: Sorry, Bucky. You caught me off guard and I was having to think about what you said. I think I hear you. I’m sorry for the flowers. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories. Give me another chance?**

**B: No I’m sorry for sounding so ungrateful and selfish. They are lovely flowers, I mean it. God, I’m such an asshole. I’m so sorry.**

**S: You’re not an asshole. You're honest. I’m just not very well practiced at this and you may have to set me straight til I get the picture. Okay? Can I try again? Please?**

**B: Yes, if you want to…**

**S: I do, very much.**

**B: I’m glad. Good night, Steve. Run tomorrow?**

**S: Absolutely. Night, Buck.**

That night before he went to sleep, Steve sat on his bed with an old spiral notebook and a pen. He made a list of everything he could think of that Bucky had ever mentioned liking or being a happy memory. He even remembered a few things that Bucky mentioned that might have been not so good memories that Steve could make more positive. Then he made a list of things Bucky mentioned he dreaded doing. 

He remembered one of the things they had taught him in group therapy after Iraq about turning things into action statements. So that’s what he did. He took those clues and hints from Bucky and turned them into a plan. 


	9. Persuasion Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky feels ungrateful and tries to explain why he wasn't over the moon about the flowers. Steve though, Steve has wooing game, no worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to write the wooing chapters as shorter vignettes so it does not read like a book report of good deeds. Also, i can make them all charming and hopefully get these two into each others pants soon...

Bucky looked a little sheepish when Steve arrived the next morning for their run, but invited Steve in to see the flowers. 

“See, they are beautiful, Steve. And you certainly got the style right. I mean, I like flowers like this as opposed to all roses, and the pumpkin idea is adorable, very fallish and cabin-like.”

Steve took his chances and grabbed Bucky with a firm arm around his waist. The fingers on his other hand splayed out on the back of Bucky’s neck and he pulled them together for a sweet but thorough kiss. Steve could almost feel Bucky blush. 

Steve almost pleaded with Bucky. “Don’t apologize for telling me what you like. I want to learn what makes you happy. If we aren’t honest with each other, what good is that?” 

“I guess you’re right. I mean, I know you’re right. You’re right. I just…”

“What?, Bucky, tell me…”

“I think upon _reflection_ ,” he said with a chuckle, deflecting was Bucky’s number one game, Steve knew that for sure. “I think romantic gestures made towards me were never made specifically with me in mind. I think the gestures were always made with the intention of the other person feeling good about doing it and not necessarily about if they actually made me feel good. I don’t want to do that again Steve. I want to be real with you.”

“Good, you should be. I’ll get it right, I promise. It’s important to me that you feel special.”

Bucky’s face changed to a look that made Steve go warm to the tips of his fingers and toes. 

“Steve, you have already done more to make me feel special in the short time I have been here than anyone else has, _ever_. You’ve been my personal welcoming committee, my tour guide, my chauffeur for house calls...you assisted me at a birth, not to mention this cabin. Steve, you make me feel special just when you look at me.”

“Oh I don’t know about that, I’m sure people in the past have done some great things for you. Must have a little competition.”

Bucky seemed to get a little miffed when Steve answered him. “I’m going to show you something and then I am going to try my best to never mention Brock again. I know I have talked about him a lot and it’s awkward for you. It’s just that he was my only really serious relationship and I have to process a lot of the pain to make room for happier times. Hang on a minute.”

He disappeared into the hallway and returned clutching a small box. Steve had a feeling he knew what was in that box. Bucky opened it and removed his wedding band.

“This is the ring Brock got me for our engagement. This is going to sound really shitty and petty. I want you to know that I loved him, I’ve told you that before. I know he loved me, but he never felt the need to make me feel invaluable once I said yes. I was just out of the military and looking for a place to belong outside of my family. We met and there was this fiery attraction, but now I know it was very superficial. He did lots of romantic things and told me he loved me, and I know it was true, but he never got the details right. This ring is from a chain jeweler. There is nothing about it that speaks of me.” 

Bucky handed the ring to Steve. “See that rubber piece on the ring? That’s because he never bothered to find out my ring size and then never bothered to take it back for sizing when he knew it didn’t fit. He said it wasn’t like I could feel it on that hand anyway .”

Steve put the ring back in the box and gave it to Bucky. He reached up and tugged on the end of Bucky’s braid, gently. “I just want to be me with you and I need that. I compromised before, without even realizing it. If we have a chance at us Steve, I want it to be genuinely us.”

“That’s exactly what I want, too. I want you to tell me what you like and don’t like, what you need. And as long as we are keeping things real, I gotta say I feel this awkwardness when we meet up now, only at the beginning and the end.” Steve shifted from foot to foot, uncomfortable with the conversation but really needing an answer. “I want to kiss you when I see you, but I feel like maybe you don’t want that. I mean is kissed you today, but before, you didn’t make the move when I tried to and I just-”

Bucky shut him up with a kiss. It was a tender kiss, but he shifted it pretty quickly into a melded, hot, yearning mash up of their mouths and tongues. Each time Steve thought Bucky was pulling away for a breath, he just readjusted their mouths and continued. Finally, after Steve had all the blood go to a certain, and frankly inconvenient in sweatpants, area in his body, Bucky let him go.”

“That answer your question, Steve?” Bucky smirked over his shoulder as he headed for the door. “Consent makes me feel very sexy, Steve. Not gonna lie.” 

Standing in the same place, still stunned, Steve finally found his motor skills and shot back playfully, “Oh and now I am just supposed to be in the condition to run?”

“Come along, Steve. I can’t be late for work.”

When Bucky was out of sight, Steve, thrilled to each and every cell in his body, pumped both his fists into the air over his head, whisper shouting, “Fucking finally!” 

It took a few more minutes to calm himself to a state he could be seen in, then he headed out to find Bucky looking in the window of his fiat in the driveway. 

“Why don’t you park it in the garage?” Steve asked curiously.

“Oh, its stupid really. I won’t let myself do that until I clean her out. She hasn’t been vacuumed or anything since I moved here. Maybe one of these afternoons after work. Then, she’ll be parked in her place of honor for sure.” 

Steve smiled and wrote himself a mental note. “You ready?”

***

Bucky got home from work that night and walked into the cabin. He felt a little off but couldn’t figure out a reason why. He had leftover stir fry from the night before and poured himself a glass of wine. He piddled around doing the dishes and then grabbed throw from the couch to pull around his shoulders and he went out to swing on the porch to finish off the bottle of Riesling. 

Bucky loved the porch swing and he lazily rocked himself knowing he had things he could be doing. He had his birthing class to plan and he still hadn't gotten his car-” 

“Holy Shit! Where the fuck is my car?” Bucky shouted as he jumped from the swing. He ran inside for his phone and called Steve. He’d never even met any police or sheriff or whatever they had here for law in Virgin River. He’d stopped locking it the first week at the Stark's. He never locked it here at the cabin. No one ever locked their cars, or doors for that matter, but Bucky always locked the cabin. He dialed Steve.

“Hey Buck, what’s up?”

“I think someone stole my fucking car! Steve, she’s gone. I left her right in the driveway. I should have locked it,” Bucky rattled off quickly. 

“Look in your garage, Bucky,” Steve snickered. 

“What?”

“Go look in your garage, then call me back.”

Bucky hung up the phone and headed to the garage. He punched in the passcode he had set and the door slowly raised. Relief flooded through Bucky as the car was revealed. He walked in and found a card and a red ribbon on the door handle. In the light he could see that she had been thoroughly washed and waxed, likely a length hand waxing job. She positively gleamed. 

Bucky opened the card and read it.

Bucky,

She’s a beauty like her driver. She got all the attention she needed today and now she’s where she belongs at night. I hope you don’t mind that I snuck back over here and took care of her for you. It was a pleasure. 

Love, 

Steve

Bucky nearly squealed in delight. He hated cleaning out the car, even though he loved driving her. He sat in the driver's seat and sure enough, every single surface was clean and polished. The birdseye maple dash gleamed. The leather seats were soft and supple again, and every crevice and cranny was free of crumbs and debris. The best part was the realization that Steve had not only paid attention to their conversation that morning, he had taken the time to act on it. 

Bucky would have driven to the bar then and there, but he’d had two glasses of wine. Fuck it, he’d walk. This deserved an in person thank you and Steve was going to get one. He went back inside and grabbed his coat, threw on some boots and headed to the bar. 

***

Steve saw Bucky enter the bar and seek him out with his eyes across the room. He waved, face beaming with a huge sunny smile. Steve hurried to get everything into place then ran around the bar to greet Bucky. 

Bucky walked right up to Steve in the middle of the bar, slipped his hands around the fitted flannel middle of one Steve Rogers and planted a kiss that started with a capital Th for thank you. Steve wrapped Bucky in his arms and kissed back, though they kept it clean for the patrons. 

“Thank you, Steve. That was a truly thoughtful gesture, and I appreciate the time and energy you spent on it.”

“I thought it might be a nice surprise. I’m glad you didn’t mind. I didn’t have keys, but I just put her in neutral and pushed her up the driveway and in.”

Bucky threw his head back and laughed as Steve led him to a seat at the bar. “Only you, Steve. I came home, never even noticed she was gone until I sat on the swing with a glass of wine.”

“I figured you’d know right off, we had just talked about it. But thought it was weighing on your mind and I have mornings free, so figured I take one thing off your plate.”

“It was sweet, Steve. Really nice of you.”

“How about a drink, since you’re here?”

“Oh, I had to walk over because I've already had a couple glasses of wine with dinner, maybe I’ll just have a soda,” Bucky supposed.

“How about I surprise you and then drive you home later, if you’re feeling up to it. What do you say, Buck?”

Steve looked so hopeful with such a gleam in his eye, Bucky simply could not refuse. “Alright, Steve...surprise me.”

Steve winked and then went to work. Bucky waited curiously as Steve turned his back and worked in secret. When he turned around, he placed a sugar rimmed, stemmed cocktail glass with an orange slice garnish on a cocktail napkin in front of him. Then Steve took a metal cocktail shaker and put on a little show as he mixed the contents theatrically. 

Bucky watched with glee and a little awe, as Steve expertly cracked open the shaker and strained a perfect sidecar into his glass. “Today's theme is cars, I guess. One sidecar, just for the good Nurse Barnes.” Steve said. 

Bucky stood on the rail by his feet and carefully so as not to spill his drink, he hauled Steve in by the flannel and kissed him soundly. He whispered into his mouth before completely parting, “Thank you, Steve.” 

“You’re welcome, Bucky. Enjoy.”

And enjoy Bucky did. He had another one because why not. It was a perfectly delicious sidecar made for him by a handsome bartender who had promised him a ride home after. Plus Steve kept giving Bucky glasses of water to drink so he wouldn’t feel it in the morning. Steve was a good egg. He was Bucky’s good egg. All Bucky had to do was not screw it up. 

  
  
  
  



	10. Persuasion Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wooing continues and ends with a dinner date. Shenanigans ensue...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Lord, old lady smut is upon you...enjoy

Bucky was still feeling pretty spoiled after Steve’s surprise car day. He had come in the next day and told May all about it. She was genuinely excited for him and they were both on the lookout for the next surprise. It came the following day, Thursday, just before lunch. Bucky was returning from his home visit with Clint. Baby Winnie was doing well and Clint was responding well to therapy. He parked the Fiat in the side lot and headed in to find May looking like the cat that ate the canary. 

“Hey, May, what’s up?” Bucky asked with a smile. May had an infectious personality. She really brought life to the office. Buck was glad she had applied and gotten the job. Now she just looked downright wicked. 

“Steve was by looking for you. He left you some lunch on your desk. He said and I quote, ‘Tell him I hope he has a great day.’ I think you’ll understand when you see your lunch,” she giggled

Now he was super curious, maybe Steve was there waiting for him or something. He stepped into his office and lost it. He laughed right from his belly. There in the center of his desk was a Jurassic Park lunch box. He grabbed it and clutched it to his chest. It was original and it was heavy. It was indeed full with lunch. 

May yelled, “I’d like to be let in on the secret if it’s not dirty,” she yelled. 

Bucky came out into the waiting area, “Careful, May. What if a patient came?”

“No one is coming for another forty minutes. Now spill.”

“I can’t believe he even remembered that we talked about this.” Bucky laughed. “We talk when we run, just stupid shit, you know and one day we got on the topic of childhood traumatic events. Embarrassing things, etc. Nothing really bad, just ridiculous things that bothered you, right? You must have things like that.”

“I got a bad perm at the height of tall bangs, don’t go there,” May groaned. “It’s a yearbook photo nightmare.”

“Ha, I want to see that someday. Anyway, we were just comparing school war stories and I mentioned that I never had a cool lunch box. My sister Becca raised me and we got free lunch. So I never got to have a real packed lunch like with a thermos and all. I always had lunch, it was just not cool, like the kids who brought sandwiches and thermoses of soup or juice, and god the goodies. I always had fruit for dessert, maybe pudding once a month, that was a good day.”

“Awww, Bucky, that’s so sweet that he got you a lunch box.”

“Not any lunch box, May. A Jurassic Park original lunchbox. I wonder if it has the thermos?” Bucky set the box on the reception desk and opened it. “Haha, jackpot! Look! Here it is, the thermos that looks like a biological storage container. I love it.” 

Bucky looked through the contents and there were bologna and cheese on white bread, cut into the shapes of dinosaurs, a bag of doritos, an apple, and then the best part of all…

“Holy shit. An oatmeal creme pie  _ and  _ a hostess apple pie! This is unreal. He remembered every single bit that I whined about.” 

“That boy’s a keeper, I’d say.”

“He is, May. He really is.” Bucky just lit up from the inside and went to his desk to eat his lunch. 

He texted Steve while he ate.

**B: Thank you for dropping off my lunch box, I must have forgotten it.**

Steve must have been waiting by his phone because he responded immediately. 

**S: You must have been trying to make the bus. I was happy to bring it to you’**

**B: Bologna and cheese, my favorite. Plus doritos and dessert!**

**S: Make sure you eat your sandwich and apple first.**

**B: Seriously, thank you. This is really charming. I’m touched.**

**S: Did you open the thermos?**

Shit, Bucky did not look yet. 

**B: Hang on…**

Bucky screwed off the cap and found tropical fruit punch

**B: Fruit punch!!!! No chocolate milk.**

**S: Only the best sugary crap for you, not healthy milk. You had milk ALL those years...**

**B: You’re the best. This was really awesome.**

**S: You bet. Glad you enjoyed.**

Bucky ate every bite of his lunch, giggling the entire time. God Steve could be fun. He really could just be a kid at heart. He reached for the apple pie and found it had a note attached to it. Bucky was practically buzzing with excitement to see what it said. It was neatly printed and read:

Dear Bucky, 

I hope you have a great day. I am so proud of you. You work so hard and help so many people every day. I am lucky to be getting to know you.

Steve had drawn a heart and signed his name.

By the time he was done, he was a little emotional, he had his hand on his chest as if it could keep his heart from pounding out of it.

Bucky loved it, Bucky loved Steve.  _ Oh God, Bucky loved Steve. _

Bucky felt a consuming need to see Steve, to really spend some time with him. It was a Thursday, but Bucky took a chance anyway. 

**B: Any way you could come over tonight for dinner and a movie? If not it can wait. I just thought I’d ask.**

He awaited Steve’s response nervously...maybe it was not a good night.

**S: Sam’s willing to hold down the fort for me. Peter’s going to stay late if it’s busy. What time?**

**B: 7 okay?**

**S: Want me to bring anything?**

**B: Nope. Lunch was on you, dinner is on me.**

**S: Looking forward to it. See you at 7! :)**

Bucky floated through the rest of his day. He even smiled through the family that had all caught ringworm from their new puppy, though he nearly scrubbed his own skin off after that appointment. He cleaned up his treatment rooms and texted Doc that the office was set for him tomorrow. He bid goodnight to May, who was positively giddy on his behalf and he headed to the store. 

He grabbed a cart and then made his way through the aisles, picking up what he needed and heading home quickly. He was going to make pulled pork in his new instapot. He loved that thing and it made his crock pot nearly obsolete. He stopped at the liquor store and got a couple of bottles of wine, then headed home to throw everything together. 

***

Steve was nervous. He’d not been invited to the cabin yet, to Bucky’s home yet. He picked out an outfit from his closet, nicer jeans, newer flannel. He didn’t want to dress up, but he wanted to look put together. His Mom used to tell him, don’t go to dinner without a hostess gift, well, a host gift in this case. Steve stopped in town to the general store and got a variety of home made chocolates that Janet sold from a case. They were nice and the box was tied with a ribbon, so he thought Bucky would appreciate them. 

Bucky greeted him at the door with a sweet hello kiss. “Hey, Steve, come on in.” He had an elaborate braid in his hair with the end curving around to one shoulder. He had on sinfully snug dark jeans and a grey sweater that reminded Steve of a bunny it looked so soft. It matched Bucky’s eyes exactly. 

Steve crossed the threshold after the loss of Bucky’s lips and held out the candy. Why were his damn palms so sweaty?

“Hey, Buck. I brought you a little something from the general store candy counter. I mean, I picked them all out myself, kinda guessed what you might like.” 

“That was very sweet of you, Steve. I’ve been eyeing that candy counter.” He set the candy on the kitchen island and tuned back to Steve. “Here, let me take your coat. You can leave your boots on or leave them by the door, your choice.”

Steve slipped off his jacket and Bucky had to hold his breath for a count of ten to prevent himself from emitting a lustful whine. Steve had on black jeans, dark and well fitting, and a red and black buffalo check flannel shirt that looked warm and soft to the touch, yet strong enough to contain Steve’s broad upper body. 

That alone was not what had Bucky on the cusp of embarrassing himself. What had him teetering was that Steve was not wearing a belt, not that he needed one for those naughty pants...nonetheless, Steve had on a wide, snug set of suspenders. It took all of Bucky’s willpower not to run his fingers up and down the underside of said suspenders and give them a good snap against that massively defined chest. 

Steve turned to the door and bent over to remove his boots. He was almost done when Bucky realized he had just been staring at Steve’s delightfully round ass the entire time. He scolded and yanked himself into the kitchen before he did anything lewd, frankly something more lewd than staring at your guest’s ass. 

Steve had his boots off and even his fucking lumberjack socks were sexy. “Smells good in here, Bucky. What’s for dinner? I’m pretty hungry. I chopped wood all afternoon.”

“Of course you did,” Bucky said before he caught himself.  _ Shit _ . “I mean of course you are after manual labor like that.”

“If you want, I could bring you some for your fireplace. Have you tried it yet? I had it certified sound.”

“No, I haven’t had the chance. Actually, I have never had a wood burning fireplace and it makes me a little nervous. Only had gas ones before.”

“Oh Buck, you’ve gotta try a wood burner. I can show you how and tell you what to look for.”

Bucky had a thought flash through his mind like the grinch, a wonderful awful idea. “Hey, I’d love one of those flat stump things you chop wood on, like in the movies.” Let me translate, I’d like to see you in my yard in that flannel with the sleeves rolled up while you chop wood and get sweaty…

“Oh you’ve got one. I’ll set you up with a pile of wood you can split and then give you a few lessons. It’s easy to swing an axe once you get the hang of it.”

Bucky swallowed hard before attempting to speak. “Sounds good! You want to eat while we watch the movie or eat at the table and then watch?”

“Let’s eat and watch. What’s on the marquee?”

“Well,” Bucky replied, “Yesterday is was cars, today it is Jurassic Park!”

Steve laughed with his whole body, head thrown back, his own hand coming to cup his own left pec. He’d seen Steve do that before and never was he ever so jealous of a hand. He doubted Steve even realised he did it. 

“I love it.” he said, “Great movie.”

“So I have pulled pork with nice soft rolls, and I am about to pull sweet potatoes and brussel sprouts out of the oven, hot and crispy. How’s that sound?”

“Fantastic, I love brussel sprouts. I love the rest, too, but brussel sprouts are one of my favs.”

“Me, too,” Bucky shot back. “You know most people hate them. I think they are fabulous in the oven. How about a glass of wine while I get things ready?”

“Sure, thanks.” 

Soon they were eating on the couch with their plates on Bucky’s coffee table. 

“Oh my God! Jeff Goldbloom was so hot in this movie,” Bucky shouted around a mouthful of food. 

“Sam Neil was the fodder of many a late night...you know…” Steve added, turning red enough to match half his checkered shirt. 

“Steve Rogers, you scoundrel,” Bucky feigned clutching his pearls. Bucky cleared the plates and refilled the wine glasses and brought a plate with shortbread cookies he had made and the box of candies. 

It got quiet without dinner and they settled in to watch the TRex wreak havoc. 

Steve commented, “This is still the most realistic dinosaur movie ever made.” 

“It really is, not one part of it was corny. I love it.” Bucky answered. He reached down and opened the candy box. They drank wine and ate a cookie or two while watching. Bucky grabbed a chocolate and bit it in half. “Oh my God, peanut butter, yum. Want the other half?”

“Sure,” Steve said, taking the chocolate from Bucky with his fingers and popping it in his own mouth. He moaned, “Mmmmmm, salty sweet.”

That moan seemed to tip the evening and charge the air with electricity. Bucky took a sip of wine, and sat back on the couch. He could tell Steve felt the same. He could smell the very beginning of alpha arousal. 

Steve felt so at ease with Bucky tonight, and then Bucky offered him the other half of his chocolate. That sort of changed the tone of the evening for Steve. He could feel himself giving off the scent of arousal and so he sat back and tried to cool off a bit. Bucky had sat back as well, and Steve was sure he was making the omega uncomfortable though he hoped he was wrong.

They were at the scene where Alan saved Timmy after the electric fences went back on and they both got back into the plot for a bit. Bucky reached for another chocolate and it was peppermint. He closed his eyes and the chocolate melted in his mouth with the minty center. He thought better, but then threw caution to the wind. 

“Peppermint, Steve,” Bucky said suggestively. “Want the other half?”

“Sure,” Steve said again, only this time his voice was husky and his eyes half lidded. He went to take it in his fingers but Bucky pulled back.

“It’s melty, Steve. Open up.” 

Steve’s eyes widened for a brief moment before he leaned in and closed his lips around Bucky’s chocolatey fingers. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath when Steve’s tongue slid along his forefinger as Bucky pulled his fingers out and left the candy. Steve’s moan was lascivious. 

Bucky sat back on the couch but scooted closer to Steve, close enough to lay his head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve readjusted them and put his arm around Bucky, pulling him in. It became quite obvious that Steve was putting off a scent of desire. Steve sort of stiffened each second it got stronger. 

“Steve,” Bucky whispered.

Steve pulled away immediately. “I’m sorry, Bucky. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable.” Bucky said and he watched as Steve visibly swallowed. 

Steve blushed a little and replied, “You’re not?”

“Nope,” Bucky said with a soft smile and a pop of the p.

Steve leaned in and stopped just before their lips met. “This okay, Buck?”

Bucky barely got the nod in before Steve closed the gap and they were kissing. Jesus, Steve was a good kisser. He thought he’d better lay the ground rules before they go too far in.

“Steve,” he said, pulling back and panting, and it was like Steve could read him like a book. 

“I gotcha, Buck. Basement, parents home, rules. Sound good?”   


Bucky laughed. “How are you so perfect?”

“I’m not, but I wanna be for you.”

Steve leaned Bucky against the back of the couch and placed kiss after kiss down the length of his neck and then back up the other side. Bucky whimpered and huffed as he did. Steve’s fingers found the hem of Bucky’s sweater and Steve pulled away to look Bucky in the eye. When Bucky nodded, Steve’s hand made contact with Bucky’s warm velvety smooth skin as his mouth sought Bucky’s and tasted. 

Bucky got his hands into Steve’s hair and scratched against his scalp. He’d wanted to mess up Steve’s hair since day one, but was afraid to admit it. Steve’s exploring hands were setting Bucky on fire and he cried out when Steve ventured to his nipple and teased him with soft pinches. 

“C’mere, Bucky,” Steve nearly begged as he pulled Bucky closer.

Bucky lost no time in straddling Steve. As he settled on the alpha’s lap, arousal rolled off Steve in what seemed like gusts of the best scent Bucky had ever inhaled. He pushed off Steve’s chest, fighting the alpha’s chasing mouth, to take Steve’s lush beard into his hands. He peppered Steve’s face with kisses and smoothed his hands down Steve’s neck and over his shoulders. He gripped at the biceps fighting the flannel and decided he needed to see them. 

Grabbing both suspenders, he pressed their foreheads together and whispered, “Can I?”

“Sure, Buck.” Bucky pulled the suspenders over Steve’s shoulders and down. Steve freed his arms and then his hands found Bucky’s waist and pulled their hips closer together, causing them both to groan. 

Bucky worked furiously on the buttons of Steve’s flannel as they kissed messily, lips and tongues devouring the other. Bucky got to the last button that was not tucked into Steve’s jeans and then went back up to peel the shirt off of his chest, working to free his arms. 

“Oh Jesus,” Bucky grunted as Steve, bare chest heaving, lay back against the couch. Bucky started at the top of Steve’s head and kissed and tasted his way down every inch of golden skin. Bucky knew Steve was muscular, but he didn’t know Steve was  _ this  _ muscular. Steve was an adonis and he was in Bucky’s hands. 

Bucky licked and kissed shamelessly, devouring whatever he could reach with his mouth. Steve’s pecs were like a treasure he could have worshipped forever. He could feel his own hips begin to roll in want, despite the fact that they still weren’t close enough to get in a good grind. 

That had to be fixed, Bucky thought, just as Steve must have had the same idea. 

Steve took the hem of Bucky’s sweater in one hand and wrapped his other arm around Bucky’s waist. As he lifted the hem he checked in. “You okay, Buck?”

Bucky smiled shyly. “Never better. But I’ve got scars, Steve.” He looked a little nervous as he said the last part. 

“We’ve all got scars, sweetheart,” Steve said, then gingerly stripped the grey sweater over Bucky’s head. 

Bucky looked a little self-conscious as Steve looked at the muscular chest and smooth abs he had revealed. “So beautiful, Bucky, so pretty.” And as if to prove his point, he kissed every pink scar at the line where skin and metal joined at Bucky’s shoulder. He stopped long enough to remove the band from Bucky’s braid and set his hair free. It was wavy and thick and Steve grounded himself with fistfuls of it. 

Rolling his hips was an exercise in frustration until Steve literally lifted him and scooted forward at the same time. Bucky loved the way Steve could just manhandle him into place. When their hips finally met, it was like two worlds colliding and Bucky rolled and rolled against Steve’s cock, causing such beautiful friction for them both. 

There came a point where Bucky knew if he didn’t stop, there would be consequences but he could not help himself. “Steve, I...I’m gonna...I wanna…”

“It’s okay, sweetheart, take it, it’s okay...I’ve got you…” Steve said, moving his hands to Bucky’s hips and watching as the omega, hands planted on Steve’s shoulders and head thrown back, rolled his hips wildy. Steve couldn’t resist what was in front of him and lavished his attentions on Bucky’s nipples, kissing and sucking as the omega writhed in sweet agony. 

Steve was close and he knew Bucky was as well. There was no stopping Bucky now, not that Steve wanted to. He couldn’t get Bucky’s scent at first but suddenly it was there in force and Steve hung on and ground up into Bucky. 

Bucky locked eyes with Steve just as the final roll took him over the edge. He looked shocked and arched his back with a moan of Steve’s name that would never be erased from his memory. It only took two or three more rolls of his own before he grunted out, “Bucky...Sweetheart..oh fuck,” and came like a teenager in his pants. 

Steve pulled Bucky close and held him as he ground them together, working them through the aftershocks of their orgasms, until they were too sensitive to continue. Bucky shivered and then Surprised Steve by shakily getting up and leaving down the hallway. 

“I have to… I need to go…” Bucky said as he rushed off. 

Steve was still panting and was worried. He wondered if Bucky was just embarrassed or uncomfortable, or god he hoped he didn’t regret it. Steve had quite a mess in his lap, but he needed to see if Bucky was okay.

He heard water running in the bathroom. He knocked. “Bucky, sweetheart? Are you alright?”

“Just a minute. I’ll be right out.” Steve could tell that Bucky was crying. 

“Buck, I’m worried. Are you really okay?”

The door opened to reveal a crying, but smiling Bucky. “I’m fine. I’m sorry. I had to check on something. It’s fine, good actually.”

“What, Buck? What’s fine?”

Bucky blushed furiously, like the brightest red that Steve had seen so far. “Something happened that doesn’t usually happen or at least hasn’t in a while.”

“What’s that?”

“Umm when we...when we were fooling around,” Bucky said, becoming emotional. He looked up at Steve and tears spilled over but he smiled. “I’m wet, Steve. I got wet when we…”

“Oh Bucky, and that doesn’t usually happen?” Steve said, pulling him close.

Bucky held on to Steve tightly. “Not in a long, long time.” 

Steve held Bucky for a while before Bucky offered Steve sweatpants he thought would fit and let Steve clean up in the bathroom. Bucky made a bed for Steve on the couch, they’d had a lot of wine, and Bucky didn’t want Steve to drive. They talked a bit before Bucky went to his room. 

When they were both yawning, Steve kissed him gently, like he was valuable, precious. “I had a great night, Bucky.”

“Me too, Steve, me too.” And he had. 

Bucky had been so caught up in feeling good with Steve, he hadn't noticed that he’d begun to self lubricate. He and Brock rarely had sex without artificial lubrication, but tonight… Bucky had gotten so wet he thought something was wrong. He’d run to the bathroom only to find evidence of his arousal. He was going to make an appointment to talk with Bruce about it. It would be a little embarrassing, but he’d learned what a good doctor he was in the time he had worked together and he needed to get some answers. 

But tonight, tonight he was going to lay in his bed and think about the alpha in the living room and all the things they just might get to do together. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you're thinking finally, we know they both like brussel sprouts!


	11. Fruition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve plans a fun day trip and gets the courage to ask Bucky something important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all agree to wave the magic wand and make lavender bloom in the fall in Vermont. Wave together...there we go!

Bucky spoke at length with Bruce about what had happened when he and Steve had gotten _involved_. Bruce was calling in some favors with specialists he knew, though Bucky made it clear he would rather not go back to the city. They agreed to start with blood work and Bucky journaling how he felt and what happened with his body for the next month. They would regroup if needed before that, but Bucky did not want to relive all of the medical nightmares he had been through before. He did allow Bruce to do a pelvic exam and all checked out well. Bucky also signed a release for all of his records to come from his previous physician and Bruce promised a thorough review. 

Bucky wasn’t going to lie, though, he was thrilled at the prospect of his body cooperating and being able to produce slick. He was startled but pleased with how he felt with Steve that night. It was a bit confusing though, because he was told by top specialists in the field that Bucky was hormonally unable to make slick or go into heat. It was something that was nearly debilitating to try to induce for him, and he’d endured several rounds of draining hormonal therapy at Brock’s insistence. 

Steve had to work evenings all weekend, but they still ran in the mornings and much to his delight, Steve continued with the surprises. With limited time to be together at night, Steve often surprised him in the morning at the time of their runs. 

One morning Bucky found his firewood chopping area set up and Steve holding a shiny new axe with a ribbon. Wasn’t that a nice image for the memory bank... After the run, Steve had given Bucky a lesson on chopping firewood. 

Another morning, Bucky found Steve holding a beautiful grapevine wreath for his front door. 

“Steve, did you make this for me?” Bucky asked. There were realistic looking artificial sunflowers and fall foliage placed artfully with a matching plaid bow. Bucky was tickled with Steve’s crafting skills, but more so with his courting game. 

“It’s kinda silly, I know, but you can put it up every year. I cut the vines myself and-”

Bucky stopped him with a kiss. “It’s perfect, Steve. You’re perfect.”

Steve blushed, his hand on the back of his neck, “God, Buck. You’re killing me here.”

“Come on Martha, let’s run and you can help me hang it when we get back,” Bucky chuckled. He took the wreath and gave Steve another appreciative kiss. 

While they were running Steve asked Bucky, “Hey Monday is Veteran’s day. Do you have it off?”

“I do, actually, why? Do you have an idea?” Bucky answered curiously.

“Well, I noticed your bathroom has a lot of lavender things and there is this farm not far from here. Would you like to go pick some lavender?”

“Pick the lavender myself?” 

“Yeah, they give you a tour, you pick the lavender you like and there’s a gift shop...thought we could make a day of it.” Steve explained. 

Bucky glanced at Steve while they were running, he looked hopeful. Of course Bucky wanted to go. They didn’t often have days off that matched so it was a rare treat. Steve's hair bounced and flopped as he ran next to Bucky, sweat dripped from his beard, and Bucky longed to do more than go lavender picking with him. 

“Sounds like a plan, I’m in.” 

“Great, we’ll go after we run.” 

Bucky shoved Steve with his prosthetic and laughed. “Mr. Routine, pencil us in after the run, of course.”

“What? I like our runs,” Steve said as if he were taken aback a little.

“I know, I know, I do too, I’m just bustin’ your balls, honey.”

Steve came to a sudden stop in the road, chest heaving. Bucky had jogged on four or five strides before he realised it. He turned to find Steve looking stunned. 

“What’s up, rock in your shoe or something?”

Steve’s features softened. “What did you call me?”

“I just said I was busting your balls. Steve are you alright? I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“No after that, what did you _call_ me?”

Bucky was puzzled and thought for a minute about what he might have said, but Steve approached him, big blue eyes searching his features. “Honey. You called me _honey_.”

“I guess, I did,” Bucky replied just as a very sweaty Steve scooped him up and kissed him. He lifted him off his feet and after the soft kiss he shook him like a bear. 

“Jesus, Steve. You’re crushing me,” Bucky half laughed, half groaned. 

Bucky could say he didn’t detect a little pep in Steve’s step for the rest of their run, but that would be a lie. It would also be a lie if he said it didn’t make him feel just a little more special. 

The morning of their lavender date, they ran and then went their separate ways to get ready. Bucky showered and dried his hair before braiding a big chunk on the top straight down the middle, he tooker smaller pieces on the sides and did some twists and some smaller braids, holding it all in place with little invisible bands. When he was done, it looked very nordic casual. 

Bucky loved doing whatever entered his mind with his hair. It was a new found freedom. He was remaining positive and looking forward so he refused to even think that a certain person would have hated it. Bucky didn't hate it and that's what counted most. 

Steve arrived with coffee and breakfast sandwiches and they ate them at Bucky’s table before heading out. While they ate, Steve sat close and at one point touched Bucky’s hair.

“I love that I never know what you're going to do with your hair. Sometimes it’s down, sometimes a braid, sometimes elaborate like this...it’s really nice, Buck.”

“Really? You like it?”

“I do. Can I tell you something?” Steve asked as he moved into Bucky’s space. 

“Yes, what?’ Bucky asked, swallowing hard. Steve looked like he could eat more than a sandwich at that moment. 

“You know when you mean business and quick do your hair up in a messy bun?”

“Yeah…”

“Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, Buck.” Steve uttered so low in his register Bucky might drool.

“Christ, Steve, careful or we aren’t even gonna make it to the truck,” Bucky nearly whimpered back. 

The drive was pleasant, mostly because once they were on the road, Steve reached across the seat to find Bucky’s hand to hold it. It was sweet with palms crossed, not the fingers interlocked way. It was as if even holding hands was a multiple step process for them. Bucky smiled to himself and squeezed Steve’s hand in the comfortable silence. 

Once at the farm they were given a tour of the elaborate gardens and the fields. They learned about the different types and how they could be used. Some were for drying, some for food, some for bathing, etc. At the end of the tour they were sent out with a basket and a set of clippers. The fruits of their labor would either be weighed or bundled for purchase. 

“Oh my God this is so beautiful,” Bucky said as he looked out over the varying shades of purple swaying in the breeze. He tipped his head back and inhaled deeply. “It smells like heaven.”

“It smells like you,” Steve said, pulling Bucky close and kissing him. Steve hesitated but then decided to reveal what he had discovered, what made him decide to bring Bucky here. “The other night, when we…” Steve sort of tipped his head as a way of not finishing his sentence with words.

“Yes, Mr. Prudypants. The other night when we enjoyed each other’s company. I get it…” Bucky teased.

“Anyway, god Buck sometimes you kill me,”Steve said bashfully. “Anyway, that night towards the end, I kept thinking I was getting a whiff of your bathroom. I mean even at the Starks I saw you had a lot of lavender bath stuff. But when you... at the end there, I realized some of that florally lavender scent must have come from you.”

Bucky was so touched, he just snuggled into Steve, who enveloped him in his arms. Steve had such a great strong hug, Bucky loved the gentle strength of his muscular chest. It had been so long since Bucky had a scent that was just him and natural and not attached to sadness or fear or anger, he couldn’t even say if Steve was right or wrong. He could only assume that this lovely, attentive man would tell him the truth. 

They picked their basket full of lavender and then went in to pay for it. Bucky got some to dry in bouquets for his cabin, some to add to tea and baking, and some to add to the bathtub. Steve bought it all, despite Bucky’s attempts to pay. Then they spent way too much time in the gift shop where Steve chose item after item he thought Bucky needed. They had lunch at the cafe and then headed back to Virgin River. 

It was late afternoon, not an incredibly chilly day and Bucky invited Steve to stay for dinner. “We can hang out, you can make sure I don’t cut my other arm off while I chop some wood and I’ll make butternut squash ravioli I’ve got in the freezer. I do it with a cream sauce and sugar snap peas.”

“Bucky, don’t say things like that.”

“What, you don’t like sugar snap peas or something?”

“You know what I mean, self deprecating things… about your arm.”

“It’s my arm, I can make fun of it all I want, Steve.”

Steve scowled a bit, playfully of course and then he just asked, “What actually happened?”

“Well, I was working on a guy from my squad during a gunfight. He was shot in the leg and I dragged him to what I had thought was a safe distance. Unfortunately no one knew there was a sniper set up on the hilltop. Flat desert and hilltop snipers do not mix well. We were by a Humvee and the sniper somehow hit the fuel tank. The hummer just splintered and a chuck hit my arm and in an instant I knew it was never gonna make it.”

“What did you do? How did you survive the blood loss?”

“Christ, Steve, I not only survived the blood loss, I applied my own tourniquet, administered a vial of morphine and treated five other guys. No one died that day, but the time the tourniquet was on and the extent of the injury, it was toast.”

“Jesus, Buck.”

“Oh and I sniped the fucker that shot the humvee with an assault rifle. Oddly, that’s what got me the commendation.”

“You so did not snipe someone with an assault rifle.”

“I have a purple heart and a bronze star with valor says I did. Plus my first two years in the army were as a sniper, but I cross trained to medic. I prefer to help rather than kill people, truth be told.”

Steve was rapidly texting on his phone. “Holy shit. Sam is gonna love this.”

“What?” Bucky asked curiously. 

“We have a turkey shoot every year and there is a sign up for civilians and a sign up for those who are military. This asshole from Clear River wins the military one every year no matter how good me and Sam are. We are gonna set his ass up this year.” 

“I pour my heart out about how I lose my arm and come up with how to use me to win a turkey shoot? Cold, Rogers, very icy.”

Steve grabbed Bucky and peppered his face with kisses, “Sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry about your arm, I am. But woohooo we are gonna kick Zemo’s ass this year.”

After dinner, which was delicious even if Bucky did say so himself, Steve went out to his truck and returned with a gift bag. They had already dealt with all the lavender and gift shop goodies, so Bucky was curious about the bag. 

“I was hoping we’d end the day here. I kinda planned something, but if it’s too corny, we don’t have to do it.”

“What have you got up your sleeve, Steve Rogers. I’m curious and worried.”

“First, I got you these things,” Steve said handing Bucky the bag. It had a box that Bucky unwrapped to reveal a Mason Pearson boar bristle hair brush. 

“Steve, honey, this is a two hundred dollar hair brush. It’s too much.”

“I just love your hair and you take such good care of it, I thought a nice brush might be something you’d like. It’s not too much if you like it and will use it.”

“I will, I do, I love it. Thank you, Steve.”

“You’re welcome and there are your kind of hair ties in there as well. Plus if you’re game, I was gonna set up a spa night for you in your bathroom. I bought some of those things at the lavender farm for tonight.” Steve nearly winced as he finished. “I mean if you think its not your thing, I totally get it.”

“Oh it’s my thing, Steve. You hit the nail on the head. I’m game, pamper away.”

Steve stood straight and looked so thrilled, almost proud. He smiled and said, “I’m gonna open that bottle of wine you've got in the fridge and you can relax while I set up, okay?”

“Sure, honey,” Bucky said. Bucky would never understand how such a massive alpha could be so tender.

Bucky was just feeling the glass of wine when Steve called him into the bathroom. “I’m gonna step out while you climb into the tub. Just leave your clothes, I’ll get rid of them. Call me when you’re in, I’ll come back.” 

Bucky stepped into the bathroom to find the lights off and lit candles on every surface giving off a warm glow. The tub itself was steaming and full of milky looking water, the surface of which was covered with crushed lavender. He stripped and climbed in, having to ease his way into the heat it was so warm. There was a rolled towel at the end that he assumed was a cushion for him to lay his head back on, so he did. 

Once under the water, he was concerned that Steve could see him naked. Bucky knew they were both adults and he felt Steve’s intentions were honorable, but Bucky would not be able to relax if he were sitting in the tub exposed. However, now submerged, he could not even see through the cloudy water himself, so he knew Steve wouldn’t either. He decided to just give over the process to Steve and chill. He called Steve in.

“Okaaay, I’m ready.”

He heard the snick of the door opening and the shuffle of clothes being picked up and put in the hamper.

“How's the water?” Steve asked in a hushed tone, handing Bucky the refilled wine glass. . 

“Fucking fantastic, I can feel it in my bones,” Bucky moaned. It really was wonderful. The room was so relaxing and the fragrance of lavender permeated the air. 

“That’s the idea,” Steve chuckled. 

He turned to Bucky and sat back by his head. The tub in the bathroom before Steve had fixed up the cabin was a shower bath unit. This new tub was a stand alone soaker and the shower was across the room. Bucky loved the freestanding tub. 

He felt Steve’s fingers in his hair as Steve spoke, “I’m going to wash your hair and then put a lavender conditioner treatment on it. Does that sound okay?”

Bucky nodded and smiled at Steve. The grin that Steve returned was so warm and so pleased, that it would have been enough if the evening ended right there. But it didn’t.

Steve gently loosened all of Bucky’s braids and scrubbed his hair, rinsing it with the milky lavender water. Then he generously applied the creamy conditioner, massaging it into Bucky’s scalp. 

“Oh my god that feels so good,” Bucky moaned as Steve’s fingertips worked their magic on his head and Bucky sipped his wine. 

Bucky knew he was hard under the water, and hoped Steve could not tell. Just when Bucky thought he might have to ask Steve to stop for a few minutes, lest there be a serious problem, Steve seemed to finish his massage. He wrapped Bucky’s hair up on top of his head and used a hair tie to keep it in place. 

“Now, I have a mask for your face,” Steve murmured. “Can I have a little kiss first?”

Bucky raised his hands to Steve’s face and held it as they shared a kiss. Bucky could not help turning it deep and dirty before letting go.

“You’re supposed to be relaxing, Buck,” Steve scolded, but couldn’t hide his smile. 

“Oh I am relaxing…”

Steve tore open a package and put a thin sheet of something on his face that also smelled like lavender. He gingerly patted and smoothed until it fit like a second skin. 

“Now lay back Bucky and give me your right hand.” Steve proceeded to knead and massage every muscle in bucky’s hand, up into his forearm. It was all Bucky could do not to groan in a filthy manner and drag Steve into the tub on top of him. Jesus, who knew it felt so good have your hands massaged. Steve continued on to Bucky’s left shoulder area before moving on to both his feet. 

“You alright there, Buck?” Steve teased as Bucky continues to moan, whine and whimper his way through the pleasurable experience. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, I think you’re tyrin to kill me.”

“No, I think I am the one who might die here, all these pretty noises you’re making…” Steve said, voice rough with what Bucky thought sounded like want. 

Not really ready for things to go further than they had the other night, Bucky just sat quietly for a few minutes. Steve seemed unalarmed and sat quietly with him. 

A few minutes later, Steve broke the silence. “Hey Bucky?”

“Yeah, Steve?”

“I was going to wait to ask this, but I feel like tonight may have just worked out to be the perfect time to do it.”

Bucky swallowed hard, nervous about what Steve might ask. On one hand he wanted to climb Steve like a tree, but on the other, he wasn’t sure he was really ready for complete intimacy. He felt like he wouldn't say no, Steve was so sweet and Bucky could only imagine how attentive a lover he would be. 

“Buck? Did you hear me?”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, what did you say?” Bucky apologized. He looked up at Steve through his little mask holes and Steve’s brow was wrinkled in concern.

“I said that I was hoping you would let me take you to the Moonlight Mingle.” 

Bucky giggled. Steve frowned again. Bucky realized he was hurting the alpha’s feelings. “Oh Steve, I’m sorry. I’d love to go with you to the…”

“Moonlight Mingle.” Steve finished for him. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, really. I guess the wine got to me and then all the massaging...I was just thinking you were going to ask for something much naughtier.”

Steve smiled a wicked grin. “I could, if you want me to, but I thought you weren’t quite ready for that just yet.” 

“Always the gentleman, Steve. Seriously, though, this was a lovely evening. I would love to go with you to the dance.”

“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it, and I’m glad about the dance... but you’re getting pruney and you need to get into the shower to rinse out all the conditioner,” Steve declared. “I’ll step out, you pull the plug and head over to the shower.”

Steve peeled off the mask of Bucky’s face and then started the shower. “See you in a minute, Buck.”

When Bucky emerged from the bathroom in sweats and a t-shirt, Steve sat him on the floor in front of him and using his new brush, he worked through Bucky’s hair, brushing it until it was smooth and beginning to dry. Bucky was nearly asleep when Steve was done. He turned around and settled between Steve’s knees, winding his arms around Steve’s waist and offering himself, face angled up towards his. Steve met him halfway and they shared sweet languid kisses to end their day. 

Finally, Steve took Bucky’s hands from around behind him and said, “I really better go while I can.”

“See you tomorrow for our run,” Bucky asked at the door as they bid each other good night. 

“Tomorrow, sweetheart,” Steve whispered, running his finger along the hair that framed Bucky’s face before leaving. 

Bucky closed the door and fell against it. He regretted not asking Steve to stay, but Steve seemed to have had the evening planned. Well, Steve wasn’t the only one who could plan and the mingle was less than a week away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moonlight Mingle is coming!!!!


	12. Congruence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little peek into what happened post lavender bath with each of the boys after they parted ways...a little further glimpse into Steve's mind as well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter of smut and feelings...that's all...my apologies in advance, it's not just fluffy smut.

Bucky climbed into bed relaxed and feeling cherished. It had been a long time since he felt really important to someone in a way that wasn’t related to being needed...for a task or a purpose. Steve had been doing sweet things without any push for more than kisses from Bucky. 

If he really thought about it, Steve had been in a relationship with Lorraine if nothing else, for sex. So Steve must be a guy who likes to be physical, yet he’d hardly even been aggressive the night they got carried away on Bucky’s couch. Steve had let Bucky take the lead and control what happened. 

Bucky could hold his own and he had never done anything he didn’t really want to, even if some things were not his personal favorites. He wasn’t incapable or afraid to draw a line. He had simply never been in a relationship where he had the time to feel the desire to make things hurry along. Bucky’s previous experience with alpha’s was being steam rolled into bed quickly. Tonight was the first night that although he was a little nervous that Steve wanted to stay and take Bucky to bed, that he regretted that Steve had not asked for that. 

Yet, thinking of the way Steve had touched him in the tub, had commented on Bucky’s noises...the fact that he had not planned to ask Bucky to the mingle yet, had veered from his plan to do so...he had to feel, no, _want_ more from their relationship. Steve’s hands had only been on his head and his extremities, nowhere near any areas a person might find erogenous...or had they. The pressing and the stroking, the grazing then deep rubbing of the massages he had given...those were definitely intentional. 

Bucky could feel himself beginning to harden and the thought of those touches. Where there were nerves before, now there were none and Bucky wished he could go back and do it all again. Maybe he would have turned his torso a bit when Steve was working the muscles around his prosthetic site, causing Steve to graze his pec, better yet his nipple...given him the idea that more was okay…

Bucky found himself reaching under the sheets, searching for the hem of his pajama pants and wrapping his hand around his own cock at the thought of Steve lazily tracing his pointer finger around Bucky’s pec, wet with the milky water of the lavender bath, slowly circling until he reached the peak of Bucky’s nipple. Oh fuck, Bucky stoked himself to the image and the feel of Steve lowering his mouth to place slow, open, wet kisses on that same nipple while reaching into the water to relieve Bucky of the strain on his aching cock. Now it was Steve’s hand on him, no longer his own…

The groan Bucky heard was Steve’s not his and his hips curled up, forcing his cock to fuck further into Steve’s fist. Bucky was startled at the flush of heat through his body and the flood of slick that left him to soak his boxers and pants. He continued to stroke himself and dared to think about what he might do next. He switched to stroking himself with his left hand, he didn’t often because it was a sort of disjointed feeling.. but he didn’t regret it at all when his newly freed right fingers reached his opening to find it wet and wanting. 

Two slipped in easily and Bucky cried out, “Fuck!” It had been ages since he had fingered himself, it wasn’t the same experience when you had to provide the lube to ease the way. Bucky had lost the vision of Steve being there, but he didn’t need it...he didn’t need the fantasy that he normally had to use to force his libido to cooperate so he could scratch the itch that infrequently came his way. 

This had turned from wanting Steve to satisfy him, to Bucky satisfying himself...he stroked himself and fucked his fingers in and out through the natural, honey textured slick, dripping from him, allowing him to feel more incredible than he had felt in months, no, be honest with yourself he thought... he hadn't felt this good during any sexual experience in years…

His paced quickened as his want and need heightened, He almost howled when he found what he was looking for, he was grunting, fucking his fist, and grinding his fingers into the sweetest of spots, deep within his aching hole, when he felt himself near the tipping point. Every muscle in his body was tensed and he wanted, he wanted, _he wanted Steve…_

Bucky came hard, harder than he had in years, spurts and ropes of come, erupting from him, as he called out to the face that appeared at the moment of his orgasm.

_“Stevie! Please, Jesus, fuck me!”_

Panting through the aftershocks and twitches, Bucky began to laugh. He laughed at how he had screamed for Steve to fuck him, when he could have easily had Steve actually fucking him...he laughed at how much of a mess was currently in his pants, he laughed at how fucking good it felt, how real, how easy and fun, not purposeful and necessary...and then he cried. 

Bucky pulled his hands from his pants and wiped them on the sheets as he sobbed, huge tears rolling down the sides of his face. How long had he let himself be like this, not admit to himself how wrong everything had been. He would probably never get over the fact that he had started the argument the night they had the accident and Brock was killed. He regretted that and always would.. Yet he came to a realization...how could Bucky have given so much of himself, to convince himself that Brock was the one and not just taking, even though Bucky swallowed his own lie to be happy, or what he thought was happy...he cried for the loss of that time, the time he could have spent differently...he cried until he laughed again.

He flailed on the bed in giddy laughter. He was hysterical with it as he stripped, threw his hair up on top of his head, he wasn’t washing Steve’s touch out of his hair just yet, and showered, a necessity after that self encounter. He laughed aloud, pleased with himself as he put on boxers and removed the evidence of his delightful naughtiness and remade the bed. 

He fell asleep with the smile of a man who would waste no more energy and time as he drifted off, with all the possibilities that lay ahead of him scrolling through his thoughts…just before he fell asleep he texted Steve. He didn’t know why, he just felt the need to let Steve know how he felt, what he did....

  
  


***

Steve barely made it home without pulling the truck over to relieve the pressure in his jeans. With the bar closed after dinner on Mondays, there was no one to have to speak to or fake pleasantries with and he just made for his room like a shot. 

He fell to his knees near the bedside table and scrambled for the lube, he wanted this to feel good. He had yet to let himself jerk off to thoughts of Bucky, but tonight, after enduring those delicious Bucky noises, he had earned it. 

His cock was deep red, nearly purple at the tip and he didn’t even waver at the handful of cold lube as he began to go for it. He stroked in earnest, searching for relief not fantasy. He had certainly had a long time tonight to think of all sorts of arousing things. The sheer number of candles and lavender products were what saved them both from the scent of his arousal. He had wanted Bucky to feel good, to feel loved, to feel cherished and important to him. He hoped it had worked. 

  
Now he just needed to feel relief, he hoped he could reach it. He thought of Bucky in that water and all the sounds he’d brought out while touching him, the trust it must have taken for Bucky to even climb into the tub and let himself be touched. He remembered the feel of Bucky’s rolling hips from the night on the couch and he imagined nothing between them and Bucky riding him...the warmth and wetness pulling Steve in with every fluid roll. 

But Steve didn’t deserve that feeling, that gift...so he tried to picture Bucky’s beautiful pink lips wrapped around his cock as Bucky looked up at him from between his knees with those eyes, the ones who saw into Steve’s soul and knew what he had done...who he had left behind…

In therapy, after his time in the military was over, Sam had worked hard with Steve to let go of the guilt, but he saw the faces of those who had died in his command. It was hard for him to let himself enjoy things and intimacy was one of them. He got to a certain point and he just crumbled. The other night with Bucky he had felt such hope, he’d been able to enjoy himself, but in part he knew it was because he was pleasing Bucky first. 

He hammered his cock harder and harder, willing himself to finish and when he did finally reach his orgasm, it was bitter seed that spilled out…

Steve’s fantasy wasn’t coming into Bucky’s sweet accepting body, nor his warm welcoming mouth, no Steve came the only place he even remotely deserved on Bucky’s body, he came in Bucky’s beautiful hair, tarnishing it with his grief, his sadness, and his guilt. 

There was no real pleasure in coming...he ruined it, he always did. He cleaned up the mess from the hardwood floor and stripped his boxers to climb into bed. When he was with Bucky, when he saw the way Bucky responded to him, felt the ease of their interactions in the short time they had known each other, he felt confident and happy. When Bucky had confided about what had happened that night on the couch, he knew the connection was there, he knew he was reading the situation correctly. He knew he could let this relationship bloom further than his heart. His heart was full for Bucky, but left to his own when they were apart, he destroyed all those positive inputs. He didn’t let himself take that final step, instead burning the bridge. 

He was wallowing in self pity and loathing when his phone pinged. He almost didn’t check it, but he knew it was Bucky’s tone, so he did.

**B: I should have asked you to stay. I’m sorry I didn’t. I wanted you...I touched myself after you left and I saw your sweet face...**

Steve choked on his own sobs. It was like Bucky had read his thoughts and knew he was hurting. He didn’t give in to the crying much anymore, but tonight the relief he so desperately sought didn’t come from an orgasm, it came from the one place he needed it to, from Bucky’s own heart. He knew it had probably been hard for Bucky to admit what was in that text, the omega had been through so much in his life. Steve cried for the effort Bucky was making and for the gratitude Steve felt at knowing his gestures were helping them make progress together. He cried until he couldn’t any more, till his pillow was wet, til he was cried out...and then he laughed. 

He laughed and flung himself open wide, starfishing on the bed. The prospect of his burgeoning relationship with Bucky becoming more, of Bucky wanting more, might just be what Steve needed. It filled him with nervous excited energy. He somehow managed to settle down and to think of what lay ahead with Bucky instead of the trail of regret he had left behind…

He almost forgot Bucky’s actual text needed a response. Just before drifting off he texted back 

**S: My beautiful Bucky, that wasn’t my intention tonight, I wasn’t sure you were ready yet...just know when you are, I am too.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally moving towards that true E rating...and to being happy...


	13. Mingle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets some news about his health, makes some time for friends and Steve and Bucky enjoy the Moonlight Mingle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is making friends and I love it. It is a crazy week for me, and this chapter got longer than I intended...
> 
> A little warning for Brock being a liar about Bucky's health and acting in an unsafe manner by keeping things from him.

“What exactly do you mean?” Bucky asked incredulously. His stomach dropped when the words left Bruce’s mouth and they still had not quite made sense. Bucky’s mouth was dry and he could feel anger boiling from deep with him.

“Do you need me to repeat the whole medical verbiage or do you just want me to help you digest what happened?” Bruce asked genuinely. 

Bruce was really a good guy and the pained look on his face for Bucky as his patient was not one Bucky saw often. Bruce wheeled his stool closer to Bucky’s chair and Bucky felt the circles on his back. He could only imagine he looked as devastated as he felt. 

Bucky had made himself a pact after the text back from Steve he other night, forward movement only, yet here he was in reverse going a hundred miles an hour. He wasn’t going to let this stop him. Brock wasn’t here to do this anymore, hurt him anymore. Still, it was a lot to take in.

“Bullet points, Doc. Break it down for me, then when it sinks in, I want to read everything.”

“You bet, Bucky. Before we start again, do you want to call anyone, have anyone come sit with you?”

He knew what Bruce was asking but this was not something he was ready to go through with Steve, not yet. This was still too raw, but he thought of all the times he had patients who were hearing difficult news alone…

“Do you think it would be okay if May came in? Is that alright with the office and everything?” Bucky asked, his voice wavering just slightly. 

“You’re the last appointment of the day, Bucky. That’s a great idea. She’s a good friend.”

It was true. He and May had hit it off and after all they were omegas in a small town. A few times they had gone to dinner at the bar and gone shopping over in Clear Water. It was nice to be making friends. After work tonight she and Tony were coming over to help Bucky decide what to wear for the mingle and what to do with his hair. He hoped this appointment would not ruin the night they had planned.

“I’ll ask her if she minds,” Bucky said, swallowing thickly. 

“I can get her,” Bruce said, patting Bucky’s knee gently. 

It took a few minutes, of course Bruce would give her the story ahead of time so she wouldn’t be shocked in front of Bucky hearing it for the first time. It’s what Bucky would have done. Bucky pulled the other chair in the office over by him so he and May would be side by side. There was a knock on the door before it opened. 

“Hey, May, thanks for doing this for me,” Bucky blurted out awkwardly as May and Doc walked in. 

May, ever the professional, greeted him with a smile and plunked down in the seat next to him. She leaned in, reached for his hand, taking it between hers and said, “No sweat, what are friends for, right?”

Bucky smiled, it was nice to hear she felt the same about him. Most of his friends in the city were friends of Brock’s really, and they had all but abandoned him when the accident happened. He sat here now, May attempting to crush his hand in support, as Bucky took in another round of medical news. Only this time, the news was different. 

“Ready?” Bruce asked. Bucky nodded and May leaned her head on Bucky’s shoulder for a second before sitting up straight next to him, never wavering in her firm grip on his hand.

“Okay, bullet points. Your hormone levels are low, but apparently beginning to rise. Your recent ability to produce slick is evidence of that.”

Bucky cringed a little at the frank way Bruce laid it out there, but May didn’t even flinch. 

“There is nothing wrong with you. There is no medical condition or damage from chemical exposure that you were told existed, in relation to your hormonal levels.” Bucky nodded for him to continue.

“Your medical records show that you and Brock were incompatible and that’s why your hormones dropped. Your body was trying to tell you he was not the right mate for you.”

Bucky was sick to his stomach but it made sense medically without the preexisting condition that Brock had told him about. It wasn’t a common occurrence, but it did still happen. 

“Bucky, it’s written explicitly in your records to withhold this information from you, per your alpha, Brock Rumlow.”

Now it was getting hard. It was all falling into place. Bucky never got the records from the doctor’s office himself, despite the fact that he worked in the same building. Brock always brought them home to him. Hell, he came here with what he thought were his real records, Doc had only had May send for the set he had now because there were a few test results missing. When the complete file came last week, Doc said he would go through it first and then they could discuss it. 

“But all those tests and procedures...to get pregnant...and Winnie…”

“It appears as though he never wanted you pregnant. There were several indications that they could give you hormone therapy to improve your health and enable you to bond, but he denied those treatments. He concocted the ones you did have in an attempt to make you think you were trying.” 

“What kind of doctor would allow that to happen?” Bucky was angry and appalled. 

“I have a friend in Burlington, I called him to talk about your case a little and he said that the Hydra practice was sketchy at best. Questionable archaic alpha rights kind of sketchy.”

“This is like bad science fiction movie shit. I can’t believe I was that gullible, that I just went along and didn’t see someone on my own.”

May reassured him. “Bucky, you loved him. You thought he loved you. Why on earth would you even think he would want anything but the best for you. You told me yourself, you guys were fine until the pregnancy difficulties. This is not anything you could have ever imagined.”

“What about Winnie?” Bucky asked, thinking please don’t let anything have been dubious with her birth. 

“Winnie’s death was definitely from placental abruption,” Bruce said as he rolled his stool closer to Bucky and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky could tell something awful was coming next. 

“NO! Please don’t say he did anything-” There was a lot of shit Bucky could take, but if Brock...he stopped himself before he thought it.

“Bucky, no he didn’t do anything that day. No, Winnie passed when your placenta separated before she was delivered. But the records show that they were aware of your placental placement being low and towards the cervix. They should have scheduled a c-section and they couldn’t because of your low hormone levels. Brock’s plan backfired when you ended up in surgery after the abruption. He almost lost you both.” 

“She could have lived” he whispered, lip trembling as he tried to hold himself together. He swallowed and May pulled him into a tight hug. He crumbled in her arms. He didn’t cry long, though and the tears he shed were for Winnie and Winnie alone. 

He picked his head up from May’s shoulder and turned to Bruce. “What do I need to do to get better? I’m not wasting anymore of my energy on him. What do I need to do to move forward?”

“Good for you, Bucky,” May said softly. She was rubbing his back firmly. 

“Right now I think it is best to let yourself heal slowly. I think your body is naturally righting itself, so I don't see a need to do anything. You’ve checked out well in your pelvic exams so I am not concerned. I would like to make an appointment to see my colleague in Burlington, Dr. Everett Ross. This is his area. He can answer why the shift back is taking so long. I would think you should have been back to regular levels by now. How about I make that for you? I’d drive out with you, if you like.” 

“Do that, Please,” Bucky agreed. 

“Sure, thing, Bucky,” Bruce replied. “I’ll try for next month. He’s pretty busy.”

“Okay, sounds like a plan.”

May let go of Bucky’s hand again and asked, “Do you want me to call Tony and cancel for tonight? I think he’d understand.”

“Absolutely not. I am not giving that jerk one more minute of my life. We’ve made plans and I only have two days to figure out what I want to wear to the mingle. Not to mention, I think Tony would be upset. Pepper says he has been super excited since we invited him to come. No, I’m not cancelling.”

“Alright then, I’m gonna close up and I’ll see you at seven with my homemade sausage bread!” May chirped and after giving him one more hug, she left. 

“You really okay?” Bruce asked.

“No, but I will be, right? I mean this can get better, right? The signs my body is giving are positive.”

“They are, Bucky, and Everett knows his stuff. Let’s get through Nat’s big to do here on Saturday and we’ll tackle what comes your way. I”m sorry about Winnie. I know that was the worst news.”

“It is awful. I’ll always wonder, what if, but as callus as it sounds, I have to move forward. If I have hope of something with Steve, I have to love her but let her go just a little.” 

Bruce surprised Bucky by pulling him in for a hug, a tight, genuine, affectionate hug. “You’re really a hell of a strong person, Bucky. I’m sorry I ever gave you such a hard time when you came. You’re a gifted healer and just an all around nice guy. I’m sorry about Winnie, I’m sorry Brock was such a dick to you…” he hesitated before he continued. “He won’t do you wrong. He loves you.”

Bucky hugged Bruce back equally, and barely got out his reply, “Thank you.” His words were wet with emotion. 

  
  


***

Bucky got out the wine glasses that he bought last time he was in Clear Water with May. They were in the cabinet next to the beer glasses he’d also picked up because he’d learned that Steve prefered beer. He brought the glasses to the buffet set up on the kitchen island, getting for the omega night May arranged to help Bucky with the Mingle.

May was bringing sausage bread and Steve had a crock pot of cocktail meatballs, the mini ones with the grape jelly and chili sauce glaze on them. He also had carrots and veggie dip. Tony was bringing some sort of dessert snack and of course Bucky had wine and other drink options.

Pepper looked like a woman grateful to her core when she dropped Tony at the cabin. “Have a great time, you guys,” she had said with a playful tone.

“Pepper, you’re welcome to stay…” Bucky had offered. 

“I would not dream of edging in on your omega night,” she had laughed back and from her quick glance to Bucky, he sensed she was ready for a couple of hours away from her very pregnant omega. She did however seem concerned as she actually left him. “Call me if you need me, Tony.” 

“We’ll be fine, Pep,” Tony said as she was walking to her car. “She worries about me waaay too much.”

“Come on. Tony, let's get you something to drink. We’ve got good snacks, too.” Bucky tucked a hand under Tony’s elbow as he waddled toward the kitchen. 

May arrived and then the fun began. Bucky would not say he was an omega night kind of guy, but May had offered and he thought, _why not?_ Now that they were munching and laughing, Bucky supposed he may have been missing out all this time. It was relaxing and it was nice to be able to talk about things the three of them could relate to together. 

With one look to May when Tony actually asked about what really brought Bucky to Virgin RIver, he made the decision to include him in his small circle of friends. Bucky felt terrible because the three of them ended up sharing a few tears together, but in the end, it felt good to have friends who could help him if he needed it. 

Wiping his eyes as Tony and May did as well, Bucky said, “But tonight is about the next step for me. I am no longer looking in the rearview mirror, it’s eyes forward.”

“You just keep your eyes on that ass and you’ll stay moving that direction.” Tony blurted.

“Tony!” May gasped. 

“What? You’re telling me you haven’t seen the ass on that alpha?”

“Of course I have, but it’s his ass to comment on, not ours,” she chastised while pointing at Bucky.

Bucky laughed heartily, “It is a nice ass…”

“That is america’s ass, my friend.” Tony said dryly and they all laughed again causing Tony to hold his belly. 

After that the evening got serious as Bucky took them to his closet and they began to look at Bucky’s clothing choices. He had a lovely green suit with a cream colored cashmere sweater to wear under the jacket, a grey, almost silver suit with a pale grey shirt and silvery tie, and a pair of navy slacks with a ditsy style floral shirt and a bright blue blazer. 

They demanded he try them all on and when he did, they both voted for the blue blazer with the tiny but bright colored floral patterned shirt. Tony whistled, and May awwed. 

“That’s the winner, Barnes,” Tony said with a slow clap.

“He’s right, that’s your mingle outfit right there. I mean that jacket and shirt look like they were made just for you. The tailoring on that is impeccable. No tie though, open at the neck, give him a little glimpse of the neck and collarbones,” May told him, grin giving away her intentions. 

“Mmhmmm, now she’s the one who’s right,” Tony said as motioned for Bucky to spin in a circle. “Jesus I could dip you in navy paint and it wouldn’t fit as well as those pants.”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Bucky agreed, feeling his face warm at the attention. He did like the outfit choice, though. “Now, do I braid my hair, put it up, straighten it and leave it down…”

“Loose curls all over and down,” May dictated. 

“Curls, really?”

Tony chimed in, “Not tight curls, just control your texture into waves and bingo...perfection.”

“Should I shave off my scruff?” he asked.

“Don’t you dare!” The other two omegas shouted in tandem. They all broke out in laughter after that. 

With their job for the evening done, they picked a movie and watched Austenland, with Keri Russell and her trip to a regency era vacation destination. They howled through the movie, enjoying their night of new found friendship. They hugged goodnight when it was over and Bucky made them swear not to feel sorry for him.

“It’s time for me to have a little fun. I’m okay, just help me enjoy life again, that’s what I need.”

They all stood holding hands and agreed with solemn nods. 

“Speaking of fun, are you going to have any fun _after_ the mingle?” May posed her question with a wink.

“A nice omega never kisses and tells or plans to kiss and tell,” He quipped back.

“I’ve got it! May, you bring Bucky to the mingle and then he’ll need a ride home. Bucky you tell Steve that May is helping you get ready, so she’ll bring you, but ask if he can give you a ride home.”

“This isn’t high school. I don’t need to create this scenario to get him to come home with me,” Bucky protested. 

“It does work, though, if you intend to…”

“Bucky shrugged with a sigh, “I am and it does…” 

They all laughed again. Bucky asked them to be discreet. “I don’t want Steve to think I was planning any canoodling. I haven’t even asked if he wants to, yet.”

“He will,” they both answered in sync. Then Pepper showed up and they all said goodnight with mischievous grins. 

  
  


***

May had arrived in her stunning, fitted black dress and updo and was putting the finishing touches on Bucky’s hair. She had brought a large barreled curling iron and curled every strand of his hair, smacking his hands away when he tried to touch it.

“Just wait, Bucky, I promise it will be fine when we are done,” she insisted, and when the final curl was in place, she made him wait five minutes more for the hair to cool in its shape, whatever that meant. 

“I look ridiculous, like the lion when they get prettied up in Oz...these ringlets look silly, May.”

“Go get dressed. I swear when you are all ready I will show you what to do to make them look natural.”

Bucky went to his room. He had showered already and had on his nice boxer briefs. He buttoned and unbuttoned the shirt several times until he decided on three buttons undone. The pants and the shirt were tailored to fit him snuggly and he buckled the leather belt in place before pulling on his blazer. He checked in the mirror and other than the ridiculous curls he looked pretty good. 

“Okay, May,” he called out as he came around the corner into the living room. “Fix my hair or I’m putting it in a braid!”

He stopped when he saw her face. She was smiling and had her hands over her mouth. “Oh Bucky, you look so handsome. I am so glad you went with this…” she couldn’t finish, overcome with emotion.

“May...what’s the matter? Don’t cry…”

“I am so sorry, Bucky. I know we said no more tears and everything, but I just look at you and think of all the patients you help, how kind you are...you just deserve to be happy. Have fun tonight, enjoy this, enjoy that he loves you…” She said as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue from the coffee table. 

“I will, May. I am happy. Let’s have some fun tonight, huh? Save me a dance or two, will you?” Bucky asked, giving her a quick hug. “Now fix my damn royal ringlets.”

May took him into the bathroom and in front of the mirror she finger combed his hair into beautiful waves. It was stunning if Bucky said so himself. 

“I know a certain someone who is going to love your look tonight…” she teased. 

“Man I certainly hope so,” Bucky replied. “Well, are we ready?”

Bucky ran around to be sure everything in the cabin was as he wanted it and then he climbed in May’s car and they were off to the mingle. 

***

Steve’s heart was beating out of his chest. He was a wreck waiting for Bucky to arrive, constantly glancing toward the door hoping Bucky would appear. They had not seen each other for a couple of days, work uncharacteristically interfering with their morning runs. They had agreed to meet at the mingle as May was helping him get ready. Bucky had asked if Steve would bring him home and Steve had absolutely agreed, hoping it meant what he thought it did. He did not want to assume and Bucky had not said anything specific. Steve did not want to come off as a jerk, so he did not ask directly, just hoped. He knew he would be fine once he was with Bucky, the anticipation was killing him

Steve had gotten to the barn early with Natasha to make sure the bartenders he had working were all set. They brought in temps from bars in other towns so that no one from Virgin River had to work. 

“Looking good, Rogers,” she had said. He smoothed his vest for the thousandth time.

“You sure. I’m so nervous that if I put on a jacket I would sweat through it and not be able to take it off. He won’t think I didn’t try, will he? I mean with just the vest?”

“Oh darlin’ I think he’ll be grateful for the view, all 360 degrees of it. You look very handsome and very much like you cared. Your hair and beard...on point.”

“Thanks, Nat.”

“Hold still. I’m going to give you a hug. I think you need it. It’s not because I love you or anything.”

Steve accepted the hug and rocked them back and forth playfully. “I did need it, you smell good, even for an alpha.” 

“Listen, you don’t have any reason to be nervous. This guy...he’s your guy, you have to know that. Maybe you came here because you were supposed to wait for him to come. You love him, I can read it in your stupid mushy face. Just know that you can have this. Steve, you’re worthy. _You_. _Are_. _Worthy_.”

Steve turned his face away long enough for his lip to stop trembling. He faced Natasha again but could only nod. She gave him a loving smile and then smacked him on the ass. He jumped at the sting but was grateful for the break in tension.

“Go say hi to a few people to take your mind off the wait.”

The space was enormous and covered in twinkling lights, giving off just the right glow. There was a massive buffet table full of food, Sam was putting the finishing touches out and then he would join the party as well. A few people were starting to arrive and Steve was saying hello, but keeping one eye on the door. He got distracted by small talk and suddenly, there he was...

Clearly, Bucky had seen him first. Steve could tell because when he turned to find him across the room, Bucky was already smiling fondly at him. Bucky was absolutely beautiful in his dark blue pants and brighter blue blazer, with a brightly colored shirt underneath it, open at the neck. His hair was breathtaking. Bucky had somehow gotten his hair to fall in soft curls framing his face, making his eyes look more blue than gray. Steve’s feet were frozen to the ground. He saw that Bucky was waiting for him and finally coordinated his muscles to go greet his date. 

Bucky scanned the room and saw Steve on the other side of the venue. He was talking with Natasha and other minglers and Bucky drank him in. He was handsome beyond words, wearing very nice dark wash jeans, a medium blue shirt, sleeved rolled to expose his tremendous forearms. He had on a dark plaid tie and a navy vest buttoned down the front. The entire outfit fit him like a glove, doing all kinds of things to Bucky as it accentuated Steve’s broad shoulders and trim waist. The jeans fit like they’d been made just for Steve and Bucky couldn’t wait to see the view from all angles. He looked truly edible. 

Steve threw his head back and laughed that warm belly laugh. It was then that Bucky saw that Steve had trimmed his beard and cleaned up the scruff on his neck and face. Bucky realized that Steve had really made an effort for their first event as a couple. Bucky smiled and was glad he had let May do his hair. 

Bucky saw the second Steve turned and noticed him because his entire face lit up. He watched as Steve’s eyes travelled his entire length and Bucky kissed May on the cheek and turned back towards Steve. He rocked nervously from his heels to his toes as Steve made his way to Bucky. 

“Bucky, you look so beautiful tonight.” Steve’s voice was soft and genuine but he looked very nervous. 

“Thank you, Steve, you look very handsome yourself.” Bucky stepped forward and put his hands on Steve’s waist, tipping his face up for a kiss. It was all the reassurance Steve needed and he kissed Bucky sweetly on the lips before wrapping him in a warm hug. 

Steve pulled back from the hug and pressed their foreheads together. 

“Hey,” Bucky said with a smile.

“Hey,” Steve sighed, the tension beginning to ease from his shoulders. “Do you want to get a drink?”

Bucky nodded and Steve steered Bucky towards the bar with his hand gently on the small of Bucky’s back. Bucky relished the feeling. 

“White wine?” Steve asked, knowing what Bucky usually had with dinner, and Bucky nodded. He looked around to see who had already gotten here and saw Natasha, looking lovely, Bruce chatting with May and a few others he recognised. 

Steve offered Bucky a white box, not his glass of wine and urged Bucky to open it. It contained a lovely boutonniere of tiny flowers. It matched his outfit perfectly, a combination of blue, dusky pink and cream flowers. Bucky was touched at the gesture.

“This is very thoughtful, Steve,” Bucky said as he took it from the box. “I feel like I should have thought to get one for you.”

“No, it’s fine. Here, let me pin that for you,” Steve said and suddenly Bucky was transported back to high school and his senior prom, only his date was much hotter. Steve expertly pinned the corsage and then leaned in for another kiss. “Thanks for coming with me. I’ve never brought anyone before.”

He turned and got Bucky’s wine and his bottle of beer. He pointed to Natasha and guided Bucky with his hand again as they walked across the room. The music was just starting and people had begun to dance. They met Natasha and Bruce at the buffet table and they all greeted each other and began to pick at the food.

“Alright everyone, it’s time to mingle,” the DJ announced and Natasha grabbed Bruce and called out to Steve and Bucky.

“Let’s go GQ boys, on the dance floor.”

Steve offered his hand and asked so formally that Bucky just wanted to squeeze him, “May I have this dance?”

“I would love to dance, Steve.” 

Steve led him to the large area reserved for dancing as Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud played. Steve pulled Bucky into his arms, close but in a traditional dance hold, hands clasped and Steve’s hand on Bucky’s waist, Bucky’s on Steve’s upper arm. It was nice to be close again, Bucky thought. Steve leaned his head forward enough that Bucky got the hint and soon they were dancing faces snuggled together, like they were in their own little world. 

Steve was charming and they chatted and laughed as they danced, as comfortable as if they danced like this every Saturday. When the song ended they were instructed to mingle and so they traded partners. 

Bucky found himself face to face with Sam, looking very handsome in a grey suit, and he swallowed as the alpha put his hand on Bucky’s back and pulled him in at a tasteful distance. Bucky put his hand on Sam’s shoulder and then their free hands met as they began to sway to the music.

Not knowing exactly what to say, Bucky started some generic conversation. “This is a nice event. You did a great job with the food.”

“Thanks, man, it is the highlight of the Virgin River social calendar,” Sam replied. 

“You look very nice tonight, Sam.”

“You look pretty good yourself, but let’s cut to the chase, alright?” Sam replied.

“Okay, and what exactly is that?” Bucky gave it right back.

“When you first came and I saw Steve look at you, I was worried. Steve has come a long way, but he gets his heart cutting checks his mind can’t cash. I can see now that he really likes you and you aren't nearly as bad as I thought you might be.”

“Oh, well thanks so much for the compliment,” Bucky huffed.

“I’m just saying that we came from the city to avoid the drama and then you showed up here out of nowhere. I’m allowed to be protective of my boy. Now, I can see he really likes you and I can see the way you look at him.”

“Is this a shovel talk?”

“Oh I can assure you, no shovel would even be needed, dude.” Sam said, though he smiled a little, just a little

“I see,” Bucky said nodding. “I don’t intend to hurt him, if that’s what you’re getting at. I do really love him, and I have experienced enough of my own heart ache to not want to cause anyone else’s.”

“I get that feel from you. But I think you’re getting ready to level up and I think you need to know something that he might not have mentioned.”

Bucky bristled at Sam’s bold implication. “Jesus, it’s pretty ballsy of you to stick your nose that far into our relationship.”

Sam’s tone turned quite terse. “Listen, I picked that man up off the battlefield and brought him home, so I get to tell you things. I earned that right and I care about him enough to have his six at all times. Steve’s good at taking care of people and sometimes he needs a little help, too. That’s all I’m saying.”

“I understand, Sam. I’ll watch out for him, too.” 

The music began to wind down as their dance ended. 

Just before letting go of Bucky he pulled him in tight and whispered. “You can call me anytime if you need help with him, just don’t break his fuckin’ heart. He loves you.”

Bucky took the opportunity to get some water and a snack. He lets what Sam said sink in as he took a breather. He was aware that Steve had PTSD issues, but he was taken aback at how bad it used to be. It gave Bucky a whole new respect for Sam and made him love Steve even more. He was lost in his thoughts when he felt familiar arms slip around his waist and a soft beard kiss his cheek. 

“How you doing, Buck?” 

Turning into his arms, Bucky returned the kiss but to Steve’s lips and with just a bit of heat. “Good, how are _you_ doing?”

“I am lonely for my real dance partner,” he said as he pulled Bucky out to the dance floor. They laughed and Steve pulled them together, his eyes wandering from his face to the skin exposed by Bucky’s open collar. 

Bucky watched Steve waffling between looking like he was just happy to be with Bucky and hardly being able to cover the look of hunger in his eyes and he felt his emotions bubble up to the surface. He pulled Steve closer and kissed him again. He was going to take care of this man who made him feel so loved. 

Sometimes when they were told to mingle, they snuck around pretending to look for another partner, but then Steve would grab Bucky and they would go to a different part of the dance floor and dance together again. 

Tony was a bit too pregnant to dance much so Bucky spent some time with him, as they snacked their way down the buffet table.

“Oooh I think I’m having contractions, I might need my midwife tonight,” Tony pretended with one wickedly raised brow.

“Don’t you dare! If you go into labor tonight or it’s Pepper and Bruce for you!”

“You wouldn’t abandon me!”

“Look at him, Tony,” Bucky said as they watched Steve dance with Natasha. “I might just have to.” 

Bucky met up with May at one point and just as the song ended, she whispered in his ear. “He’s so handsome and the way that man looks at you...Do what feels right, don’t be nervous. It doesn’t have to be this big thing, you can just be together if you change your mind.”

He switched partners and danced with Pepper who was strikingly beautiful in a pink dress. She had left Tony resting and chatting with Bruce. Bucky could see over his shoulder that Steve and Sam were chatting at the bar. He was curious about their conversation. 

“Your man looks pretty good tonight, Steve.”

“He really does, Sam. He’s so...I don’t know, he’s just so perfect.”

Sam shot back matter of factly. “No he’s not. No one is. You know that. But he loves you and I’m pretty sure you love him.”

“I do love him.”

“Tell me you know he’s not perfect.”

Steve turned from watching Bucky dance with Pepper and said, “I know he’s not perfect. But neither am I. I know he’s probably too good for me.”

“Steve Rogers! I know I taught you better than that. Everyone has their good points and difficulties. The thing to ask yourself is are you ready to give to make it work. You have lots to offer him, Steve. He loves you. It is okay to let yourself have good things. You _deserve_ to be loved and to have good things. Now say it.”

“Come on man,” Steve said, feeling his ears redden.

“Say it dude,” Sam insisted, grabbing Steve’s wrist.

“I deserve to be loved and to have good things.” 

“There you go, now cut the check!” Sam laughed and pulled Steve in for a bro hug. “You know I’ll come anytime, anywhere if you call me. Sharon and I are going to take care of the bar, you take your boy home when you're ready.”

“Thanks, Sam. I’m gonna let you do that.”

“There you go!” Sam said pointing at Steve as he went off to find Bucky.

The evening was winding down and it found Steve and Bucky sharing a slow dance to John Legend’s, All of Me. Instead of the formal stance of earlier in the evening, Bucky’s arms were around Steve’s waist and his face rested against Steve’s chest, his nose nestled Steve’s neck where his now loosened collar and tie used to be. He listened to the songs words, feeling Steve as he occasionally whispered some of the words. They both had perfect imperfections. Bucky let those words sink in as Steve whispered them. He didn’t need to do anything but give his all to Steve. He knew in his heart Steve would do the same. 

“Steve, I’m ready to go. How about you?”

“Yeah, I think things are winding down. Still want me to drive you home?”

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

Steve pulled them close with one arm around Bucky and kissed him firmly. “Never too much trouble, Buck.”

They said their goodbyes and walked out to Steve’s truck. It was much chillier than when the night had started. Steve opened Bucky’s door for him and jogged around to his side. It was a quiet ride and Steve reached to take Bucky’s hand. Just as he went to clasp their palms together, Bucky changed the grip and threaded their fingers together. Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky watched Steve’s mouth break into a huge smile. 

“That was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Everyone seemed to really enjoy the night,” Bucky said, making small talk.

“Really, you were worried it wouldn’t be fun?” Steve asked, squeezing Bucky’s hand. 

“I guess I just thought it would be awkward like a high school prom, but it wasn’t and I really had a good time. Thanks for asking me.”

“You’re welcome, I had a great time, too.” Steve answered as he took his hand to make the turn into Bucky’s driveway. He put the truck in park, left it running and angled his shoulders to face towards Bucky.

Bucky looked at Steve. God he was handsome. He had made his mind up before they had even gotten to the dance but Steve sitting here, acting like such a gentleman just confirmed his decision. Bucky reached to open his door and Steve scrambled to get out and around to help him. Steve offered Bucky his arm and walked him to the door of the cabin. 

They stood on the porch in front of the door, and Steve leaned in for a kiss, one hand cupping Bucky’s cheek the other slipping into his hair to take a soft handful. Bucky let the kiss deepen as he opened and let Steve in. The angle changed and Bucky let his hands wander down Steve’s back, dangerously low on Steve’s waist. 

Bucky pulled back and felt how right it was, how good they were. “Steve?”

“Yeah, Buck?” 

“Would you like to come in... would you like to stay with me tonight?”

Steve’s eyes grew a little wider and a little wetter with each word and when Bucky finished his question, Steve wrapped Bucky in his arms and kissed him on his neck The way he stayed there for a minute made Bucky a little nervous, maybe he had misread Steve. He was about to retract his offer when Steve straightened and took Bucky’s face in his hands. There were unshed tears in his eyes and he sniffed before he smiled.

“I would love to spend the night with you, James Buchanan Barnes.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the cliffhanger...


	14. Fusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky share their first night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it! I hope you enjoy my vanilla happy smut.

Bucky opened the door with his key and took Steve by the hand as they crossed the threshold. Steve had the doorknob in his other hand and Bucky quickly backed him up against the door, pressing their bodies together and kissing him insistently. Steve kissed back like a man on a mission until the two needed air. 

Panting harshly, color high in his cheeks, he asked playfully, “What’s this Buck? Eager?.”

Bucky was panting just as hard and was much more confident now that he had asked and been accepted. “I just needed to close the door and you were holding the handle.”

Steve laughed at the ridiculous notion and tugged Bucky back into his arms. “I love you, Bucky, God I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Steve. I really have for a while and just...I was worried it was too soon, but I love you and I want more with you. I want everything with you, everything I can give you, I mean.”

“Whatever you offer me will always be more than enough, Buck. If there is something we want that we can’t give each other, we’ll just have to figure it out together. I know it’s early in the game, but I’m with you till the end of the line.”

They stood there, pressed together from shoulders to hips in the front room of the cabin, holding each other for a few minutes, just enjoying being on the same page. It felt as exciting as new clothes and as comfortable as a favorite sweater all at once to both of them. 

Bucky, realizing he was alone with Steve and had carte blanche for the first time, ran his hands up and down Steve’s back, drifting higher and lower with each pass. When he finally dared, he let his hands glide down over Steve’s delightfully firm, round ass and a sound of utter surprise escaped both of them when he did it. 

“Jesus I want to climb you like a tree, Steve.” Bucky uttered before he could stop himself.

Steve smiled and brought their lips together in a kiss so soft yet so hungry that it made Bucky’s eyes flutter shut and his palms go still on Steve’s ass. Steve pulled back and whispered, “Climb away.”

Bucky regained his senses and realised they were still standing in the doorway. He also realized that his hands were just sitting on the cheeks of Steve’s ass and that they were both half hard. 

He blinked slowly and pulled away, taking Steve’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “Well, I guess I should invite you in past the door.”

“I don’t know, Buck we were doing pretty good at that door,” Steve teased, lifting Bucky’s chin for a playful kiss. 

“Oh we can do much better than that, honey,” Bucky chimed right back. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“Glass of water would be nice,” Steve answered following Bucky over to the sink. Bucky got water for both of them and Steve winked when they both drank them down quickly. “Gotta stay hydrated.”

Bucky smiled, feeling the heat in his face. “I haven’t done this in a while, like over a year. Plus I mean I haven’t been with anyone in years other than…” 

“C’mere, sweetheart,” Steve urged softly, leaning against the counter. Bucky put his glass down and wrapped his arms around Steve, who held him and kissed the top of his head. Steve spoke and Bucky could feel the heat of his breath on his scalp. “If you’ve changed your mind, if you don’t want to-”

“No, no, Steve, I didn’t mean that,” Bucky backpedalled quickly searching for understanding in Steve’s blue eyes. 

“Bucky let me finish,” Steve said softly. “If you’ve changed your mind or don’t want to do this tonight, it will be fine. We have all the time in the world. What do you want to do?”

“I want to feel good. I want to have fun and not take everything so seriously. I want to show you how much I love you and I want to feel how much you love me.” 

“Sounds perfect to me.”

“Take me to bed, Steve,” Bucky whispered. 

Steve took Bucky’s face into his hands and brushed his lips against Bucky’s, causing the omega to shiver. He bent down, grabbing the back of Bucky’s thighs and lifting. Bucky caught on and jumped a little, wrapping his legs around Steve’s waist and deepening their kiss.

“Fuck, Bucky.” Steve growled. “These thighs....”

“Must be all the running. This guy makes me run everyday at six am,” Bucky said as he kissed down Steve’s neck.

“Well, I’ll have to thank him. He obviously knows what he’s doing.” Steve answered as he carried Bucky easily down the hall towards the bedroom. 

Bucky bit at Steve’s bearded chin, “Don’t bother, I’ll thank him for you.” 

They both laughed and Bucky added, “I see you know where my bedroom is..”

“Convenient, don’t you think?” Steve smiled as he turned the corner and set Bucky on his feet. 

Steve slid his hands in Bucky’s jacket and slipped it off his shoulders as Bucky began to unbutton Steve’s vest. Things became frantic as clothing fell to the floor around them. It was like there was static electricity in the air when they were both shirtless and Steve pressed their chests together. 

“I am never going to tire of seeing you shirtless, Steve. You’re fucking chiseled,” Bucky breathed into Steve’s skin as he planted open mouth kisses to his firm rounded chest. He kissed and sucked at each of Steve’s perfectly pink nipples.

Steve gently swept his hand over the back of Bucky’s head, groaning through the kisses. “Bucky, you have no idea what you do to me with that mouth of yours.”

“Shoes.” Bucky said as the both toed them off. Steve was never more glad for not having worn boots, especially since Bucky was already fumbling with his belt. He got with the program and soon he was unzipping Bucky’s pants reaching in to palm at his hard cock. Bucky returned the favor and Steve thought he would explode on the spot. 

Bucky walked them to the bed and they shucked their pants, leaving them both in boxers. He pulled the quilt and sheet back and they both climbed in, facing each other on their sides. Steve grabbed Bucky’s hip and crashed their mouths together as their hips pressed together and their cocks met. 

Rolling them so he was on top of Bucky, Steve ground their cocks together deliciously. Bucky cried out as pleasure burned through him like he’d been set on fire. He startled a bit as he felt the first wave of slick leave his body and soak his boxers. His fingers dug nervously into Steves shoulders as he hung on waiting to see if Steve would notice.

“Oh Buck,” Steve moaned. “Buck, you smell so good.” 

Bucky tried to relax but it had been so long since he had experienced this feeling. He closed his eyes as Steve kissed down his neck and nibbled at his collar bones. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” Steve asked, slowing down a bit. 

“Yeah, just not...It’s just been a while. I’m not used to it feeling so easy.”

“You want to take a break? It’s okay if you do…” Steve offered like a saint. 

Bucky didn’t want to stop, he wanted Steve to manhandle him and take over. He wanted to be taken and full and loved on. “Fuck, no...don’t stop now. I want it. I want you.” 

He grabbed at Steve’s ass and reached into the waist of his boxers grabbing huge handfuls of that fine bare ass, pulling Steve closer. 

“Buck, you are going to be the death of me. ‘m not going to survive,” Steve growled. He sat back on his heels, racing for Bucky’s boxers and stripping them from his body. Then he helped Bucky as he yanked desperately at Steve’s. 

He pulled Bucky forward by his thighs and nestled between his legs, sliding their hips together. Then Steve began to kiss his way down Bucky’s body, worshiping every morsel of skin with his lips and tongue. He bit and sucked Bucky's nipples until Bucky was a writhing mess.

“God damn, Buck, sweetheart...you taste so good.” he reached his abs and kissed each defined rectangle of his six pack. He skipped right over Bucky’s rock hard cock, much to Bucky’s dismay.

“Steve,” he cried out, bucking his hips in futility. But Steve had other plans and his fingers found Bucky’s opening and slid gently into the wet heat of him. “Fuck,” Bucky shouted. It had been so long since this kind of pleasure had rocked his world. It was overwhelming in the best of ways, and Bucky realized he was shaking. 

“I want to taste you, Buck. You smell so good, so fucking hot,” Steve’s voice was gravelly with want. He pushed Bucky thighs up and apart, exposing the sweet pink furl that was offering such an inviting scent. He brushed an already wet finger over the pucker and then placed a hungry kiss, tongue seeking Bucky’s slick. 

Bucky didn’t know if he could take much of this. His cock was aching and leaking on his belly. He let Steve devour him as long as he could stand it, panting and moaning the whole while he fisted Steve’s hair for purchase. 

“Please, please, Steve,” he finally called to his alpha and encouraged him up towards him. “God, please fuck me, Steve.” 

Steve slowly kissed his way up, stopping to kiss and tongue at the slit of the dribbling cock bouncing on Bucky’s belly. He settled into the cradle of Bucky’s hips and wiped his hand over his beard before kissing bucky. “You taste like the best thing ever, Buck.” 

“Come on, honey, I need you,” Bucky nearly whined. Steve kept kissing him, exploring Bucky’s mouth with his tongue. 

Steve stopped long enough to say, “We never talked about knotting, Buck. Not sure if you want that this time.”

Bucky grinned wickedly, “Oh yeah, I want it, Steve. Just give it to me.”

Steve almost felt feral. He reached down and pressed his fingers into Bucky’s dripping opening and used what he found to slick himself for good measure. He gathered Bucky’s hair out of the way before framing Bucky’s head with his forearms, nudging the head of his cock against Bucky’s tight, wet hole. He notices Bucky was trembling. 

“You’re shaking, Buck, you okay?” Steve said, placing a hand on each side of Bucky's head and locking eyes with him. 

Bucky nodded, “I’m good, just want you so much, need to feel you so much.” He ran his hands over Steve’s biceps and his chest. Steve was so built, Bucky mapped his body with his hands, putting to memory every well developed muscle. 

Steve smiled and pressed with his hips just enough that his head breached into Bucky's tight wet heat. 

“Ohhhh, Steve,” Bucky called out wetly, emotions overwhelming him. He raised his legs wrapping them around Steve’s waist, giving him room to move. The alpha held still, looking concerned. “I’m alright. I’m not fragile, Steve. For christ’s sake, fuck me.” 

“Okay, okay,” Steve smiled, relieved that Bucky could snark at him. He was worried about the shaking but his teasing put Steve at ease. He rolled his hips forward and was rewarded by the feeling of Bucky’s body welcoming him in and by the sounds Bucky made. 

“Jesus, Steve. Feels so big, so full, you can move, please move.”

Steve rocked his hips in and then pulled back and rocked in again. “Fuck, sweetheart, so tight and hot, you feel so good.” 

Soon they lost their words to the rhythm of their hips rolling and thrusting as they built momentum. Steve was a little timid at first, still worried about it being Bucky's first time in a while, but Bucky called out encouragement. “More, Steve, harder, yeah, babe like that...right there...harder.” 

They were sweaty and Bucky’s cock was dribbling a constant stream between them when he began to feel the heat coil in his belly. “Steve, Steve, please, Steve, ‘m close…”

“Alright, Buck, me too, come on sweetheart, it’s okay,”

“I wanna come…’m gonna come,” He cried out, grabbing at Steve’s ass and pulling him closer and closer as he felt Steve’s knot building and nudging against his already full opening. Steve reached between them and with a few quick pulls, he tipped Bucky over the edge. 

When it hit him, Bucky’s body locked into an arch. He wrapped his arms around Steve and looked up at him in time to see the shock of Steve’s orgasm on his face and his knot pass Bucky’s rim, tying them together. 

***

Bucky woke in Steve’s arms, the alpha wrapped around him from behind. He could tell they had been cleaned up and it felt incredible to be in Steve’s arms. He could feel Steve’s quiet breaths puffing on the back of his neck through his hair. He was happier than he had been in so long, that he felt his eyes sting and his lip tremble with emotion. 

As if he could sense it, Steve tightened his grip around his waist. “Hey, Buck, you okay?”

Bucky nodded but a little sob snuck out. He turned toward Steve, snuggling into his neck.

Steve held him tightly. “Oh, Buck, sweetheart. You alright?”

He swallowed thickly and found a smile for the man who had been so good to him. “Never better, promise.” 

“I love you, Buck.” Steve said, smoothing the hair out of Bucky’s face. He kissed him with a gentle press of his lips. 

“We get to have this, I just can’t believe it. How did we find each other? How did we get so lucky?” Bucky asked reverently. 

“Maybe we’re just meant to be, Bucky.”

Bucky smiled from deep inside himself, relaxing at the thought. “Must be we are.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to know your thoughts...


	15. Subterfusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Sam set Bucky up to defeat a bully at the turkey shoot. But is Bucky really the one doing the setting up? Will Bucky get his comeuppance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humor and filth, that is all...
> 
> Also, I realized a few chapters back when they boys did the do for the first time, I never put in discussion of condom usage. The head canon is that Bucky and Steve know Bucky can't get pregnant, so they both got tested and agreed when it was time they would forego condoms, personal choice.

Bucky smiled around a big bite of omelette and he and Steve locked eyes over the table. They didn’t often get a relaxing dinner together because of the bar, but they learned to share the time they did have in common. That usually meant special breakfasts on Saturday and Sunday mornings. They even skipped runs to maximize their time or ran later in the day, choosing instead to relish the weekend mornings for lazy sex, and indulgent brunches. It was a rare weekend night that Steve did not sleep at the cabin with Bucky. 

Bucky liked to wear Steve out and then let him sleep a little more while he made their breakfast. Today it was vegetable and cheese stuffed omelettes, thick buttery toast and bacon, an entire package of bacon cooked perfectly crisp in his cast iron frying pan. He knew Steve couldn’t sleep through the wafting smell of bacon in the cabin. 

Like clockwork he heard Steve pad into the kitchen and felt his arms, still warm from the covers, wrap around Bucky’s waist. He gave him a sweet series of kisses on his neck and collar bone before reaching past Bucky’s waistband and exploring Bucky’s junk.

“Yes, it’s still there, and don’t try to get me all hot and bothered when I have omelettes and bacon. I’m not eating cold bacon today, Stevie,” he chastised and twisted trying to escape Steve’s talented groping hands. 

“Just gotta make sure, Babe. Sometimes it’s too good to be true when I wake up and think of what we did.” 

“Ummm, I think you ought to be checking for your junk, because that’s what causes all the trouble around here,” Bucky said, bumping his hip into Steve’s groin playfully. “Now sit down, it’s ready.”

Steve’s toe in his crotch under the table snapped Bucky back into the present. “Hey, now, watch the goods or you’ll be cold and lonely later today.” Steve snapped his foot back, but still grinned wickedly at Bucky while they ate. 

Today was the big turkey shoot. Sam and Steve had talked with Bucky at great length about the events and Bucky assured them it would not be an issue. They kept Bucky’s sniper experience to themselves and entered Bucky in the civilian draw of the contest, with the hopes that Zemo, the biggest dick in Clear Water would object. Steve did not understand why Bucky would not practice, but he figured he must know what he was doing. They cleaned up breakfast, got dressed and drove out to Clint’s farm where the event was being held. Steve had not noticed Bucky’s sneaky wardrobe choices, so the game was on. 

Bucky held Winnie and Steve thought he might never get over Bucky with a baby in his arms. He thought maybe someday he would get Bucky to marry him and they could adopt a little family of their own. He was only hesitant because he thought Bucky was still struggling with not being able to go into heat and have another baby.. 

They all cheered for the bow event, watching Clint take the lead with his three perfect bullseyes. Bucky had kept Winnie that whole time and only handed her back when Cint came for her to be in the picture when he took first prize. 

The civilian gun event was next and there were lots of crack shots. Mostly farmers or guys who hunted, all friendly competition. Then off to the side was Zemo and his band of special forces wannabes. They mocked all the competitors, like high school bullies and now Bucky knew why Sam and Steve wanted to beat them. Well, it was their lucky day because Bucky was going to bury them. 

Bucky’s turn was next. It was a straightforward long distance, hit the target closest to the bullseye cake walk. He made his way to the toe line. He had borrowed one of Sam’s guns and was ready to take aim when their plan began to fall in place. Despite his heavy pea coat, Zemo caught sight of Bucky’s prosthetic arm. 

“Hey now, you can’t be in the civilian shoot. You’re military,” Zemo objected loudly. 

“How do you know that?” Sam shot back brusquely.

Zemo walked over and lifted Bucky’s metal arm, lucky that Bucky was feeling nice and didn’t wrap him in a headlock and take him to the ground.

“I was a medic,” Bucky barked, leaving off the asshole or dickhead for the benefit of the children in attendance. 

“Too bad, you probably still got training with a gun. You have to be in the military draw,” Zemo protested, arrogance dripping from his words. 

Bucky feigned ignorance and asked, “What do you have to do?”

“Watch and see, you can go last,” Zemo said, laughing to his buddies. 

“Fine, but it can’t be that hard if you can do it,” Bucky antagonized. He couldn’t wait to wipe the smug look off the guys face in front of those douche friends of his especially. 

The non military round was finished and they moved into a field where Clint and the rest of the turkey shoot committee had set up an elaborate course. Clint, holding Winnie, walked through the set up and showed each separate event in the range. There were targets for knife throwing, pistols and then a long range sniper shot at 500 yards. Bucky could hit a dinner plate at a 1000 but he didn’t say a word. He could make this shot with the pea shooter rifle Sam had lent him for the effect. 

Steve stood to the side and barely hid his smirk. Bucky joined him while Zemo and his idiot friends took their turns. What Steve did not know was not only had he let Steve and Sam use him in their set up, he had set up Steve and Sam as well...mostly Steve though. 

Bucky had learned in the short time he had been chopping firewood with Steve around, that the alpha had a competency kink for rugged shit Bucky could do well. So Bucky figured, why not see what it did to Steve to see Bucky in full military action. So now he sat and waited his turn and did his best to look innocent. 

The course was timed and then points were taken away for lack of accuracy, Targets had to be reset, so by the time Bucky was going to take his turn, the wind had picked up and it was a bit chilly. He played it up a bit to Steve.

“Steve, the hand on my good arm is a little stiff from the cold and sometimes my fine motor goes a bit wonky in the other one when it’s windy like this. I hope I don’t blow this for you. I know you and Sam are counting on me.”

“Oh, hey, no Buck...I mean don’t sweat it. Just do your best. Let me warm up your right hand a bit for you,” Steve reassured him and while doing so, he stuck Bucky’s right hand in his jacket and clamped his arm over it to hold warm under his armpit. Bucky had him now and it was going to be fun. 

They watched each of the entrants complete the course, Zemo even came over and gave a few condescending pointers. Bucky just nodded and winced as he squeezed his prosthetic hand into a fist as if he were trying to get the sensation back into his fingertips. 

Finally it was his turn, he gave Steve a quick kiss and walked up to the table that had weapons that could be borrowed for the day's events. Clint met him and grinned.

“You're a total dick and I can see what you’re doing.”

Bucky feigned complete innocence. “Oh come on Clint. I’m just a poor little omega who’s a good shot. I have no idea what I’m doing…” 

Clint began to pretend to help Bucky pick out knives and point to where he should use them in the course. “He’s gonna nut right here in front of children if you aren’t careful.”

“Gotta convince him somehow that ‘m not fragile.” Bucky laughed as he picked up all of the knives and pistols, along with the rifle Sam had lent him.

Looking him dead in the eye, Clint said, “Come the fuck on, you are not gonna make that shot with a deer rifle.”

“Watch me,” he snorted.

Bucky stepped to the start line, pretending to fumble things. He shrugged at the crowd before he put everything down. Then he walked over at Steve and gave him a serious nod. He removed his pea coat to reveal tight tactical pants and a henley over which he wore a double shoulder holster and a back clip. 

“Mind holding my coat, Honey?” he asked as he handed it to Steve. He could literally feel Steve’s eyes on his ass as he walked back to the course. 

The pants were riddled with nooks and crannies that he slipped his knives into like an expert. He locked and loaded pistols into the holsters no one had known he was wearing and then clicked the rifle into place on his back between his shoulder blades. 

He glanced back one more time at Steve who had gone pale and was swallowing thickly. 

“What’s the time I gotta beat, Clint?” Bucky asked slyly. 

“You need a minute and 46 seconds with accuracy.” 

“Tell me when,” Bucky directed. 

“5,4,3,2,1,” Clint counted down. 

Steve watched as Bucky went from bumbling fool to seal team six with a nod of his head. He figured Bucky could handle himself, but the way Bucky stripped off his navy wool coat to start loading pistols and knives into his clothing made Steve’s dick jump. Holy fuck when he snapped that rifle in place, Steve almost whimpered out loud. 

The next move did Steve in. Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out a hair tie. No fucking way...Jesus Christ! Steve was going to come in his pants and there were children here. Nat was holding Winnie and standing right next to him. Steve took a step to the right to get the full view of his hot, sexy boyfriend as he gathered all of his tousled hair on top of his head and tucked it into a neat bun, securing it with that goddamn hair tie... one of the very hair ties Steve had bought him. Then Bucky winked at him... _the fucker_...he was playing Steve in front of all of these people. 

The next minute and a half were the most erotic Steve had seen in a very long time. It wasn’t the actual weapons or the violence of the shooting and throwing, it was the grace and accuracy of the way bucky seamlessly pulled each knife and flung it directly where he wanted it. It was the smooth pull of the trigger and the firm secure way he cradled the butt of the pistol in his palm while walking steadily through the course. The other guys ran from station to station and then stilled to complete that target. 

Not Bucky.

Bucky never stopped moving once Clint called his start. He advanced through the course in one fluid movement, with a gait that caused stirrings in Steve’s belly he had never felt before. It was a heaviness in his prosthetic arm, a swing smooth as silk but menacing in strength and it railed through Steve with a heat unprecedented.

Once he had thrown each knife and emptied each pistol clip through the various targets and obstacles, even throwing in a barrel roll or two, which in Steve’s opinion were ridiculously unnecessary and stupid when Zemo did them, but were fucking perfection when executed by Bucky, he made his sniper shot.

He stopped dead in his tracks, calmed himself, pulled the rifle indecently from his back and laid on the ground. He lifted his hips to readjust just once and Steve thought he might have made that desperate sound he just heard out loud. Despite the comments Steve heard about it being impossible for him to hit his mark with that hunting rifle, the two spotters confirmed his results. In disbelief. The time stopped and Bucky stood with a cheeky smile, dusting himself off.

He looked directly at Zemo and asked, “Well, how’d I do?” After he rubbed it in for a second or two with a deadpan stare, he’d of course undershot the best time by a huge gap and had hit every target with not one penalty, he walked over to Steve.

“Close your mouth, Steve, you’ll catch flies like that,” he teased, knowing he’d gotten the effect he wanted from his display. He pulled Steve in for a hug and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“You little shit,” was all Steve said, pupils blown wide and sweat beading at his temples. 

They made it through the awards and Bucky accepted his fresh wild turkey and trophy along with the satisfaction of putting Zemo and his buddies in their place, not to mention the situational high of knowing he had shown Steve there was a little roughness in Bucky. 

Natasha piped in, “Hey, anyone want to go get some lunch?”

“Nope!” Steve said far too quickly before he realized it. Bucky could see that he had accomplished his goal, Steve was desperate to get home. “I mean, we have the turkey and we have to get it in the fridge, right Bucky?”

Oh ho ho, Bucky threw a little gasoline on the fire. “Well, we could take the turkey home and then meet everyone-”

The steely eyed glare Bucky got from Steve was a completely new experience and it lit up his spine from his head right down to his tailbone. “ _No!_ I mean we have leftovers from last night, remember?”

Bucky had let the alpha suffer enough. “Oh right, don’t want my pot roast to go to waste.”

He could see Steve sigh in relief as he said their goodbyes and headed to Steve’s truck. 

Once the doors were closed, Steve grabbed Bucky with both fists full of his coat , smashed their mouths together roughly and said, “I’m gonna fuck you with all of that on the second we get home.” 

Bucky was both sexually aroused and touched in tandem. The thought of being fucked with his tactical gear on was so hot, but then Steve calling the cabin home…he was a mix of emotions. Steve’e tongue back in his mouth and a hand in his crotch, rubbing at his responding dick cleared up any confusion. 

“Alright, alpha, let’s get this show on the road,” Bucky agreed, returning the favor and groping at Steve’s lap to find his cock enormously hard. 

Steve growled, low in his chest, and fuck was that spectacular, “Gonna have to keep quiet or we’re not even gonna make it home, Buck.”

The ride was pleasantly tense and Bucky smirked to himself, knowing both of them were filling the truck with the scent of their arousal. Steve usually smelled like a mix of citrus, but when he was feeling frisky, he scent turned to a mix of oranges and spices. It reminded him of the kind of spicy homemade potpourri Bucky liked to make in a saucepan during the holidays to leave simmering on the back of the stove. 

They barely made it in the door of the cabin when Steve, with a feral look, usually perfectly groomed hair, askew and falling into his lust filled eyes, grabbed him. 

“Buck,” he panted as he yanked Bucky’s coat off and tossed it to the couch. For a brief second, he looked torn...unsure.

Bucky had gone to a lot of trouble to set this up, to give Steve the excuse to let go and he wasn’t going to let his kind hearted alpha stop their fun now. 

“Well, now alpha, gonna take what you wanted?”

The spark filled Steve’s eyes again, and said obscenely, “More like I’m gonna give you what you got coming to you.”

Bucky sucked in a sharp breath as Steve went on. “You know what you did, Buck, you did me dirty back there,” he chided Bucky, backing him towards the kitchen and against the island.

Steve’s hands had begun to wander, smoothing over Bucky’s shoulders, feeling the shoulder holders and then the tac pants. His huge hands palmed Bucky’s ass and squeezed and he kissed Bucky roughly, tongue searching and taking. 

"You got what you deserved, Steve. I’m not made of porcelain, you needed to know,” Bucky said playfully

“And now you’re gonna drop those pants and get what you deserve,” Steve said as he reached for his own pants. The sound of Steve’s belt being unbuckled was enough to drench Bucky’s already damp boxers and pants. His slick flowed so easily now, almost too easily and sometimes he thought he might embarrass himself in public when Steve got affectionate. 

Steve pushed his jeans to his thighs freeing his cock, which bobbed, fully erect and leaking from the tip. 

“Fuck,” Bucky groaned and impulsivley bent over to lick the dripping slit. Steve let out a high pitched sound that hit Bucky in the feels.

“That’s my job, omega. Gonna turn you right around and fuck you right here in the kitchen.”

Bucky whimpered and felt another wave of slick as he unclasped his tac pants. Before he could go any further, Steve stripped himself of his shirt, exposing Bucky to the golden expanse of his chest. He grabbed Bucky by the waist and turned him to the island, crowding him. He slid a hand up the front of Bucky’s shirt, toying with his nipples as he pressed his erection into Bucky through his pants. 

“Okay, Buck,” He asked and Bucky was not surprised at all that even this aroused and possessive Steve would always take care of him. Bucky’s nod seemed to be all Steve needed. 

He slipped both thumbs into Bucky’s waistband and slid both his pants and boxers down to reveal Bucky’s slick drenched cheeks and thighs. “Well, someone's ready, I see,” Steve uttered in the most lascivious tone Bucky had ever heard him use. The level of filth was enough to make Bucky shamefully leak more slick. Steve slipped his fingers between Bucky’s thighs and brought them back to his lips, Bucky thought he might collapse at the dirty sounds of Steve’s tongue devouring his slick. 

Steve brought their bodies together and with a palm to Bucky’s back, he urged him to lay on the cold surface of the island. Bucky let himself be arranged, anticipating the feel of Steve as he prepared to fuck him. Bucky spread his legs as far as he could, cursing that he was limited by the pants around his thighs. 

The head of Steve’s cock slipped between his cheeks easily and Bucky whined as it nudged at his opening. Steve groaned as he sheathed the entire length of his cock into Bucky in one thrust. Bucky moaned and tilted his hips to welcome Steve even further. The room was full of the filthy wet sounds of Steve taking Bucky from behind. The slap of their body’s coming together and their shouts and groans of pleasure just enhanced the absolute deliciousness of the act. 

  
“That’s it, Bucky, you take me so good, so deep, like the naughty little thing you are, gotta be fucked for getting me so hard in front of all those people.” 

“Not, sorry,” Bucky shot back, clinging to the island for support as Steve railed him over and over.

Steve laid over, broad shoulders and chest covering Bucky, “No, didn’t think you were ‘s why your here, taking me with your pants still on.” 

“Fuck, _Steve_ ,” Bucky wailed at the dirty talk. “Come on, ‘m close already.” 

“Lucky boy, so am I,” Steve said and he reached under Bucky and gave his cock a good squeeze. “You want to come on my cock or you want to use my hand?” 

“Oh God, your hand, your fucking hand, please...Steve,”

It took three or four tight strokes and Bucky was making a mess of the front of the island. Steve grabbed Bucky’s hip even tighter with one hand and slammed his knot home in Bucky’s hot, wet hole. Steve shuddered and cried out as he felt himself lock into Bucky and fill him full of his hot spend. “Jesus, fuck, _Bucky_.” 

They stood there together for a few minutes, panting and throbbing through the aftershocks. Steve reached carefully for a paper towel and wiped his hand free of Bucky’s come. 

“Fuck me, Bucky you okay? That was intense.”  
  
“That was incredible, Stevie. I loved it.”

Steve moved Bucky’s hair and kissed the spot just below his ear, causing Bucky to shiver. He was warm, too warm. “Need my shirt off, Steve.”

Tenderly, Steve unclipped the holsters and helped Bucky remove his henley. “How’s that, now?”

“Better...thanks.”

“You bet Buck, you want me to try to move us somewhere more comfortable?” 

“Comfortable here,” Bucky said as he sank into the counter. He was suddenly very tired.

***

Bucky woke up in bed, cleaned up and in sweats and a t- shirt. He could smell something cooking in the kitchen. He sat up and felt a little woozy, so he took it slow. He eventually made his way to the kitchen where steve was making what looked like lasagna. He trotted to Bucky as he appeared from the bedroom.

“Hey Buck. How’re you feeling? You really conked out on me there.”

“I’m fine, just a little worn out is all,” Bucky chuckled. He rubbed his lower back, he was a little achy. 

Steve pulled him close, “Sorry, Buck, maybe it was too much today.”

Bucky pushed Steve at arm's length before snapping, “Don’t do that, Steve. It was great today. I set that up, clearly I wanted something like that. I’m not some weak pushover omega who can’t handle a little rough fun.”

“Buck, I didn’t mean anything like that,” Steve said apologetically. “I just worried when you drifted off so fast. I know what you did today. I had fun, too.” 

“I didn’t mean to bark at you, Honey,” Bucky said as he snuggled back into Steve’s arms. 

“I know Buck, It’s alright. Why don't you take a shower while the lasagna’s in the oven.”

“Do I have time for a bath instead?” Bucky asked, his lower back was achy enough that he wanted to soak for a while. He also felt just weak enough that he didn’t trust himself in the shower, but he wasn’t going to tell Steve and ruin their new found fun. He’d never get Steve to fuck him anywhere but the bed again if he thought Bucky couldn’t handle it. He could handle it though, couldn't he? 

They took it easy the rest of the weekend, with Steve heading to the bar after dinner and then a quiet sunday at home. Bucky was shaky on and off, wondering if he was getting the flu. It was going around at work. He let Steve pamper him and didn’t even object when Steve came back late after the bar closed that night. They drifted off to sleep together hoping Bucky felt better in the morning. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope my attempt at dirty talk was not too awful...and OH DEAR, I hope Bucky is okay...


	16. Restoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve receives a call, the kind of call no one ever wants to get...emotions are high, lives change...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waving magic medical wands and I am a drama queen. Sorry, I know some of you made predictions...

Steve and Sam were finishing the inventory check of the current bar bottles when his phone rang. It wasn’t Bucky, he could tell by the ring and he was glad. They both had gone to work today but Bucky’d not been himself the rest of the weekend since they had sex after the turkey shoot and they didn’t even run today. Bucky assured him he was feeling much better and Steve had tried to put it out of his mind. It was afternoon, so Steve was thinking Bucky was fine.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and his stomach dropped when he saw it was Bruce who was calling. “Hey Bruce, everything alright?”

“Hey Steve. Bucky’s not feeling too well and he’s asking for you, can you come down to the office. He’s fine-”

“I’m on my way,” Steve interrupted. “What’s wrong with him. Is he really okay? Is it the flu or something?”

“We’ll all talk when you get here, Steve, he’s awake, he’s up, sitting in a chair puking right now so he could just use a little support.” 

Steve was already peeling out of the bar lot, Sam had gotten the picture and waved him off. He charged into the office heart in his throat to find it empty except for May, Bruce, and Bucky.

Bucky’s scent was a confused smell of good and bad and he was hunched over a blue bag in his hands with May rubbing his back. Bruce was on the phone obviously talking with someone about Bucky. Just as he looked up at Steve, he wretched violently into the bag, his whole body tensing as he did so. Steve ran to his side and May stepped out of the way.

“Buck, Sweetheart,” he said as he grabbed his arm to support him and rubbed big circles in the center of his back until the bout of vomiting was over. Bucky looked up at him, worn, weak and pale, confusion painting his features. He looked ten times worse than any point this past weekend, large dark circles under his eyes.

May was rinsing a cloth in the sink nearby and she handed it to Steve. He carefully wiped Bucky’s face with it and kneeled pulling Bucky to his chest as he weakly murmured, “Steve….”

“Right here, Buck. I’m right here. Sweetheart, what’s going on?” Steve could tell by Bucky’s scent and his level of weakness that this was not the flu or a bug. Something was terribly wrong with Bucky and Steve was instinctively worried. Bucky buried his face in Steve’s neck and gulped in deep breaths. Steve held him closely and looked from Bruce to May, waiting for someone to fill him in. Clearly Bucky couldn’t. 

Bruce finished his phone call and kicked his stool closer to the couple, taking a seat. He took the blue bag from Bucky, twisted it and clipped it shut against the edge of a ring at the top and handed Steve a new one. He gave Bucky a soft pat and said, “You want me to explain?’

Bucky lifted his head and said, “I’ll start.” Then Bucky began to explain what May and Bruce already knew about Bucky’s past in relation to his hormones and all that had happened. 

Steve’s heart was breaking but he knew Bucky needed him now, so he remained supportive as Bucky told him everything and apologized for not telling him sooner. 

Steve knelt directly in front of the omega. “Bucky, it’s alright, you don’t need to apologize. I love you. I’m just worried. I’m not angry, there’s nothing to be angry with you about.”

Bucky sank his head into Steve’s chest with relief, and Steve just held him, stroking his head. 

Bruce picked up where Bucky left off. “Today Bucky seems to be in some sort of crisis. I’ve tried quite a few things here but they aren’t helping. We need to get Bucky to Burlington to see a friend of mine, Everett Ross, a hormonal expert. That’s who I was talking to, he wants to see Bucky as soon as possible.” 

“Burlington’s three hours from here. He can’t ride three hours like this,” Steve objected just as Bucky grabbed the blue bag from Steve and puked again. It sounded like it was coming from his toes and Steve winced for him. 

“We don’t really have a choice. The hospital in Clear Water can’t handle this. I’ll drive your truck, you sit with him and keep him as comfortable as you can. We’re probably gonna be there overnight, we can stop and pack a bag if you’re quick about it.”

Bruce ran upstairs and grabbed his things while Steve got Bucky to his feet and wrapped him in a cotton hospital blanket that May got for him. She handed him a bag with more blue puke bags, a container of wet wipes and a roll of paper towels. After trying a few steps, Steve just scooped him up, bridal style. “Hang on Buck, I’ve got you.”

Bucky seemed relieved and relaxed into Steve. “Thanks, Honey.” 

After a quick stop at Bucky’s for an overnight bag, Steve was grateful he left clothes there on the regular, they headed out to Burlington. Bucky seemed to be getting worse with every mile. He was trying not to cry and he just kept vomiting, It was truly difficult for Steve to just watch him suffer. 

“I don’t feel good, Steve. I don’t feel good,” he just kept mumbling, clinging to Steve as he held Bucky in his lap. 

“I know, Sweetheart, what can I do to help, tell me how to help you…”

“Your scent...if you could just scent me a little. I know we never talked about it, but-”

“Jesus, Buck, yes, c’mere,” Steve soothed, relieved to think he could take away some of Bucky’s discomfort. He pulled Bucky into his neck, near his scent gland and relaxed, easing out some of his alpha pheromones, and Bucky just melted into his arms. “There you go, Buck.”

“Everything okay back there?” Bruce asked looking into the back seat of the truck can from the rearview mirror. 

“Yeah, sorry Bruce,” Steve grimaced. It had to be awkward to be with a couple who were scenting.

“No, worries, scenting is the perfect way to help him settle down till we get there. I just didn’t know where you guys were, so I didn’t want to suggest it.”

For the remainder of the ride Steve dolled out small amounts of his scent and Bucky was able to doze off and on, only throwing up a few more times. Steve was concerned about how weak he was, laying in his arms. He really hoped this Ross guy could help Bucky’s hormones regulate like Bruce said he could. Bucky looked so fragile. 

Steve tamped down his emotions to take care of Bucky, his omega. Steve really considered Bucky his, despite the fact that they had never specifically discussed mating or marrying. They had hinted at it, but of course now here was Bucky, so sick and they were not connected in any way except their hearts. Seeing Bucky ill only cemented for Steve that they belonged together. When Bucky was feeling well, Steve would act on his feelings and hope Bucky reciprocated and wanted the same commitment. 

They were met at the door and Bucky was taken from his arms and rushed into a room bright with lights and lots of medical equipment. Steve followed, prepared to be insistent, but no one stopped him. Everyone focused on Bucky. A smaller man, who appeared to be in charge, spoke to him.

“Hello, Mr. Barnes. I’m Everett Ross. I understand you have a medical background, is that right?”

Bucky nodded. “Okay then, you know a lot is going to happen fast when I give the word.” Bucky nodded again.

“Good, I have reviewed all your records, Mr. Barnes, and I am pretty sure I know what’s happening right now, but I want a few tests to confirm. So let’s get you some fluids and get those tests done, so you can start to feel better. How’s that sound?”

“Pretty damn good, I feel awful.”

“Well let's fix that.” he said, turning and nodding to Bruce. Then he looked to Steve. “Is this your alpha?”

Steve froze and Bucky blushed, both aware their predicament of being together without knowing if they could actually bond or not. “We’re dating, but it’s more than that.” Steve smiled warmly, eyes soft on Bucky.

“Clearly. I’m asking because in this process, we prefer your alpha scent you rather than use narcotics for pain relief. If need be we can use the medications.”

“No drugs, I’ll help him,” Steve said firmly. “I mean if that’s what you want, Bucky…”

“Course it is, Stevie.”

“Alright then, Steve. You’re up here by Bucky’s head. Can you be there without interfering?”

Steve nodded and Bucky added. “He’ll behave. He’s not a knothead, promise.” 

“Well, thanks,” Steve said as the room chuckled around him. 

“Alright, people, you know the drill.” Turning to Bucky, Ross said, “Hang in there, we’re going to help you.” 

The rest of the day into evening was a lot of poking and prodding and waiting. Bucky had an IV in his right arm, replenishing the fluids he had lost throughout the day. When he was not as dehydrated, and Steve scented him, Bucky could sleep. Steve sat in a chair next to the bed, watching every flutter of his eyelids and twitch of his muscles, as the staff took care of Bucky with the utmost respect and tender care. 

Ross came back with a tablet in his hand. He stood with a few other doctors and spelled out for Bucky what was wreaking havoc on his body and how they could help him. 

“Mr. Barnes, despite how you may be feeling today, you are doing remarkably well. The good news is your hormone levels are even better than last time Dr. Banner checked. In fact we think that we have the means to get you completely back on track.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Bucky replied, a little stronger after his rest. 

Steve was standing next to Bucky and clutching his hand. “Is there bad news? You said that was the good news, now is there something bad you have to tell us?”

“No, there is no bad news. That’s the news. You need a simple procedure, a hysteroscopy with D&C and you’ll have a fully functioning cycle again. 

Bucky was overwhelmed with the information. “You mean I could have a real bond with Steve. A traditional physical bond?” he asked in disbelief. 

“Yes, a traditional bond with Steve if that’s what you want,’ Dr. Ross answered with a smile. 

“Do you think I’ll ever go into heat?” Bucky asked, voice rough with emotion.He squeezed Steve’s hand 

“Here’s the really interesting part,” Dr Ross explained further. “We’re ninety nine percent sure you’re already partially in heat right now.”

“What?” Steve and Bucky asked together in disbelief. 

“Bucky, as a midwife, have you ever had a patient with a -”

“Faltering heat! I’m in faltering heat! Why didn’t I recognize that? Holy shit!” Bucky interrupted and then lost it.

Steve stood trying to understand, but before Bucky even stopped shouting he began to sob. Steve pulled him into his arms, asking to be told more. 

“What’s the matter, Buck? Isn’t it good that we can bond? Will somebody please explain what all of that means?” Steve was sure it was terrible news for Bucky to be so brokenhearted. 

Bucky shook his head, trying to control his emotions. “No, Honey, ‘s not bad. Steve…” he continued to cry. “Steve, we can bond...and...and I can go into heat.” 

“Oh Jesus, Bucky? _Bucky?_ Can you have a baby? Does that mean we can have a baby?” He looked up at the doctors, fighting tears himself. 

“We think Bucky is perfectly able to have a viable pregnancy. The ultrasound and the other tests said nothing contradictory,” Dr. Ross said, and a sob broke from Steve’s throat. 

Bucky and Steve held each other and cried, letting everything sink in for a few minutes. A nurse handed Steve a wet cloth and he wiped Bucky’s face, before wiping his own. Steve kissed Bucky gently, as if he really were fragile this time. 

Dr. Ross cleared his throat and said, “I really hate to break up this moment, I am sure it’s been a relief to hear the news, but we really need to get Mr. Barnes in and do a D&C. We’ll go in with a camera and get a good look at everything, but the sooner we get him in there, the healthier he’ll be. His entire system is over communicating his hormonal needs and it really is not good for him. High levels of hormones like this can cause a stroke and other heart related issues. If we clean him out good, it should start things over. What do you say, Mr. Barnes. Are you ready to take care of this once and for all?” 

Bucky smiled and said, “You bet, where do I sign?”

Steve waited with Bucky while everything was ready, they moved Bucky to a pre operative area on another floor and did some more prep with Bucky for the surgery, including an anesthesia consult and a second IV line in his neck since his other arm could not be used and the procedure required manipulation of his legs. 

Dr. Ross, Bruce and a young woman from orthopedics came in to see him. Bruce introduced the woman as Shuri. She had a decidedly african accent. 

“Mr. Barnes. I am here to remove your prosthetic arm. There can be no electronic devices in the operating room.”

“What? I’m a midwife, I wear it for procedures all the time. I’ve never had to take it off before.”

“You’ve never been under general except when you had Winnie and they did it when you were asleep to save time. You can’t have it on during the procedure. Would you prefer we take it off after we put you under?” Bruce clarified. 

“No, no it’s fine, it’s just…Steve…” Bucky’s words were wet and he was trembling.

“It’s alright, Bucky. If you’re worried about me seeing you without it, don’t be.”

“It’s not that, I just feel helpless without it. It’s a strange sensation because it’s heavy and so everything is off when I don’t have it on. I feel off kilter.”

“What do you want to do, it’s up to you,” Dr. Ross asked. “We can very easily take it off before we start inside.”

Bucky let them take it, showing Shuri the release button deep in his armpit. She gracefully removed it, setting it in a case she had carried in. then she wrapped the metal base with a skin like adhesive for protection. “There you go, Mr. Barnes. I will take very good care of it and you will have it back on very shortly.” 

When they left, Steve kissed Bucky and then kissed his shoulder. Bucky looked very tired. 

“How you doing, Buck, huh? It’s been a day hasn’t it?” Steve asked quietly as they waited. He was standing Bucky who was now on a narrow stretcher. Steve had leaned over with his head on the pillow next to Bucky and he was stroking Bucky’s cheek with his thumb. 

“I’m good. It has been a wild one, right? Stevie…”

“I know, Buck, I know. We’re okay. It’s so good to know you’re going to feel better. Don’t like to see you sick like today. Y’had me worried. I need my Buck, so much” 

“Need you too, Steve.”

“You’ve got me, Bucky, always…” There was so much more that Steve wanted to say but he knew now wasn’t the time. He didn’t want Bucky to think it was the emotion of the day causing Steve’s feelings. So much had come to light, so much they had not dared to hope for and now it could be theirs. 

It was a couple of hours, but then the techs came to walk them down the hall. They got to the point where Steve had to say goodbye to Bucky and he bit his cheek to avoid crying. He wanted Bucky to see him smile to reassure him before he went under. 

“See you in a bit, Bucky. I love you,” Steve said as he leaned over the stretcher and held Bucky close one more time. 

“Love you, too, Steve. I’ll be fine, don’t worry too much, ‘kay…” Steve just raised an eyebrow, who was Bucky trying to fool, Steve was the king of the worriers. 

The doors opened and Dr. Ross and Bruce, who was scrubbing in, were there to meet them as they were wheeling Bucky in, but Steve couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let them take Bucky without telling him how much he wanted to be with Bucky, he had to ask. 

“Wait. Please, wait, I need..” Steve’s voice was rough with emotion, but he continued. “Bucky, I know my timing is not going to come off as romantic, but I have to say this to you, I just can’t let you go until I do. I love you Bucky. I love you more than I can ever prove to you in a lifetime, but I want to try. I want to be your alpha and I hope to God you want to be my omega. I want a family with you, I want to bond and be your mate and I have to know, Bucky. I have to know… Will you marry me Bucky Barnes? Please say you will...nothing could ever make me happier than to spend my life making you happy.” 

Bucky looked at Steve, brow furrowed with concern and intensity and he knew he would never be complete without him. He was such a dramatic sap, but he was Bucky’s dramatic sap. There were people all around them and yet Steve stood there declaring his love and desire to be with Bucky forever, what was there not to love about that. 

“You’re such a punk! That was totally romantic and of course I’ll marry you, Steve. I’ll marry you and be your omega and let’s have a bajillion kids if we can.” 

“A bajillion? How about we try one first, see if I don’t break them and then-”  
  
“Shut up and kiss me Steve. These people are waiting for me.” 

Steve held Bucky’s face in his hands, both laughing at the ridiculousness of what Steve just did, and he leaned in and kissed Bucky like he meant it. Everyone in scrubs clapped and Steve kissed Bucky on the forehead before they wheeled him away. 

Someone showed Steve where the waiting room was and he headed there, hoping Bucky would be as fine as they said he would. His eyes were stinging, he was beside himself with worry already. 

He pushed open the door and found Natasha and May sitting in chairs. They stood as he said, “What are you doing here?”

Natasha walked towards him and said, “We didn’t want you to be alone.”

She pulled Steve into a hug and held him as he burst into tears. 

***

Bucky woke to the sound of beeping machines, and he felt a weight next to him. He moved to adjust and his belly hurt. He groaned and Steve’s head popped up.

“Hey, there’s my Bucky. Okay? Waking up, huh?” Steve reached for the nurse’s call button and someone came to check on him. “Everything went well, Bucky, better than good. Everything is great.”

Bucky stayed in the hospital for two more days to be sure the faltering heat ended. They checked his hormones every twelve hours and Steve scented him when he was restless. He was released on thanksgiving morning, disappointed that he was not well enough to cook like he and Steve had planned. Tony and Pepper agreed to host and Dr. Ross said they could go as long as Bucky took it easy and rested.

“Your procedure went very well. You are absolutely capable of conceiving. We examined everything and cleaned you out thoroughly. No sex for two weeks, we’ll reexamine you then and I’m pretty sure you can expect a heat within a month. If you go into heat before two weeks, you’ll just need an exam to be sure you’ve healed enough to go through it. I doubt that will happen.” 

“Thank you, Dr. Ross, for everything.”

“Take care, we’ll see you soon.” 

When they were ready with all discharge paperwork and their bags, Bucky looked up at Steve, and said, “Take me home, Steve. I’m ready for some turkey.”

Steve laughed, kissed him, and then they headed out, two men once full of heartache, now a couple, full of hope. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only person more dramatic than me is one Steven Grant Rogers...
> 
> We are so ready!!!!


	17. Gratitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve get home from the hospital in Burlington and confirm that it was not just emotions that prompted all the drama as they discuss things further. Thanksgiving dinner brings grateful family together and one couple has an extra reason to be thankful...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys...sorry to be away so long. Work is killer, I still need to hire two more teachers and I am dying to get it done! This pandemic is really starting to weigh on me. Glad to be back here to escape for a short time from the harshness of reality! 
> 
> These boys are so much! So soft for each other and ugh the discussions they are having this time...anyway, enjoy...

“I wouldn’t ask Steve, but the hospital ones are so bulky and uncomfortable,” Bucky had apologized, a little nervous for expecting such a favor from his alpha. Brock certainly would never have done this for him, but Bucky asked Steve because he knew he could not walk through the store is his current state of discomfort _and_ he knew Steve was not Brock. 

“Bucky, it doesn’t bother me one bit to go into that store and buy omega pads. You don’t need to explain or apologize. I’ll call you, you can tell me which ones you want. Plus you need some snacks for the ride. We can’t go three hours without snacks,” Steve had fondly jested. Days of bland hospital food did need rectifying. 

Bucky got a glimpse of what lay ahead of him in his life with Steve when, while he was on the phone with Bucky, he explained proudly to every unsuspecting omega who ventured into the pad aisle why he was there. “Yeah, just getting some pads for my omega. He’s gonna have a heat here within a month and he wants a bajillion babies, he says.” 

Bucky didn’t know whether to kill him or kiss him when he got back to the truck, but Steve had two packages of the right pads, bbq chips, a bag of snickers bars and 2 cokes(none of which Bucky normally ate and all of which he wanted), so all was forgiven. 

They snacked down the highway and Bucky dozed most of the way back to Virgin River, Steve scenting him now and again. Steve looked across the seat at him as he napped and thought of how empty his life had been before Bucky had entered it. He’d had the bar and friends, but he’d resigned himself that he’d never actually fall in love and have a family, ever. He felt too broken, too removed from what having those things looked or felt like...now Bucky helped him by filling those empty spaces and others Steve never even knew existed. Feeling more complete, Steve felt like he had more to offer...like finally he was enough.

Steve carried Bucky into the cabin and laid him on the couch, his alpha pride puffing once again as Bucky let Steve care for him. “There you go, Sweetheart. Let me straighten up a bit. Looks like you left in a hurry and I made it worse looking for clothes.”

“What time is dinner?” Bucky asked drowsily. “I’m gonna need to clean myself up before we go.”

Steve smoothed the hair from Bucky’s face. “They delayed it for us, so we’re eating at five. It’s only two thirty. We’ve got time, why don’t you snooze a while and then we can shower and get ready.”

Steve put clean sheets on the bed and picked up all Bucky’s laundry before starting a load and then cleaning the bathroom. He wanted to be sure Bucky didn’t get any kind of infection after his procedure. He moved to the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher, started it and wiped down all the counters. When he was done, he sat in the chair opposite Bucky so as not to disturb him and set his phone alarm for four. 

As Steve let himself drift off for a cat nap, he thought of how natural it felt to be here with Bucky in this cabin, and wondered if this was where they would choose to live together. He remembered all the work he put into it when he renovated it and how much he thought of Bucky while he did that work. To Steve, there was no more perfect place than this to become a family. He hoped Natasha would see that and maybe let them buy it from her. 

Steve’e alarm woke him and he gently woke Bucky. He managed to convince Bucky that he didn’t need to worry about the messier side of being an omega and to let Steve help him get undressed before they showered together. Bucky was looking weak enough that Steve was concerned about even going to dinner, Thanksgiving or not. When Bucky heard Steve’s reservations, he got upset. 

“I know I’m tired and emotional. Any other day I would say pick us up something...but it's the first year in a long time that I don’t have to pretend to be thankful and I want to go celebrate, even if I have to do it laying on a couch or something.” 

Steve couldn’t argue with that and he got them both dressed, himself in nicer jeans and a tucked in flannel shirt, Bucky in black sweats and a t-shirt, with a soft oversized turtleneck sweater. It was comfortable and practical for his situation. Steve brushed Bucky’s hair and Bucky put it in a loose braid. They packed Bucky’s backpack with extra pads and another pair of sweats, just in case and then they were off. 

In the truck on the way over, Bucky asked, “Are we going to tell people?”

“Tell them what, Buck? Which part?” Steve asked sincerely.

“Everything. Let’s tell them everything. It’s time for us to be happy and these are our friends.”

“They’ve been my family, Buck,” Steve said solemnly. Bucky reached for Steve’s hand and squeezed. 

“Well, now your family is getting one bigger,” Bucky said, nodding determinedly. 

Steve smiled broadly. “Hopefully even bigger after that.”

That caused Bucky to light up and return Steve’s brilliant smile. “You asked me to marry you...”

“I did, Buck.” Steve pulled their clasped hands towards him and kissed the back of Bucky’s hand. “I meant it. Still want to?”

“Absolutely. When do you want to do it?” Bucky asked, picking nervously at a thread on Steve’s jacket. He wanted to do it immediately and he had an embarrassingly full Pinterest board of ideas about it. It was an old board but in the hospital between naps he had secretly added to it. 

“Well, I think it’s up to you. Do you want to wait until after your heat? After Christmas? Before? I mean I don’t know how much you want to prepare or how big you want it,” Steve proposed. Bucky loved that Steve’s forehead wrinkled when he thought about things. 

“You know, Steve...I’ve already had a big fancy wedding. You haven’t. Maybe you want something like that.”

Steve got a little pensive and then he pulled over, they were almost at Tony and Pepper’s house. He turned in his seat to face Bucky and took both his hands in his own. He leaned forward against the pressure of the seat belt and kissed Bucky sweetly. “Can I be honest?”

“Please, yes, Steve. You’re making me a little nervous, you’re so serious.”

“I know what I’d like to do, but I really want to hear from you first. I don’t want to sway you one way or the other. Tell me, if you could have your dream wedding for us, what would it be?” Steve looked so sincere, Bucky decided to just answer honestly. He’d never been asked what he wanted for his first wedding. Brock’s parents paid and his mother ran the show. It was enormous and gaudy, not Bucky's style at all. 

He just began to nervously rattle off his thoughts. “Okay, But before I start, I know I promised not to mention Brock anymore, but it’s kind of hard because my wedding ideas are kind of tied to doing the opposite of my first wedding. So I’m sorry in advance but I am just going to lay it all out there. I always wanted a winter wedding, Brock’s mother insisted on May. Christmas is one of my favorite times of year and an outdoor wedding, with snow softly falling is like my real dream. Nothing big, no one I don’t really know, just friends and family. We had over 500 people at our wedding. I only had Becca and a few friends, the rest were all people I did not know and it was not enjoyable. Brock was italian and I was put on display in a tacky white tuxedo for all his alpha uncles who kissed my cheek and handed him envelopes of cash.” 

“Where would you like to have it? Where outside and where would we go after for like a party or reception or whatever?” Steve asked, clearly thinking about what Bucky had said. 

Bucky was emotional from the last few days and he could feel his words catching in his throat, but he continued. “I love the cabin Steve, and if we could swing it, I’d like a big decorated arch with the lake as the background, the trees covered in snow all around us...and I have ideas for what we’d wear....I had a pinterest board…”

“Wow, you’ve really thought about this haven’t you?” Steve said softly. 

Bucky shrugged. “Is that bad?”

Steve shifted a bit in his seat before continuing. “Not at all. I mean I don’t know what a pinterest whatever you said even is. I was going to say I saw you for the first time at the bar and I was thinking it might be nice to have the wedding there, but your idea is so much better.”

“But wait, I’m not even done. After the wedding, and it would be short, nothing set up but the arch, after that we could all walk to the bar and have dinner and dancing there…’cause that’s where we met-” Steve cut Bucky off with a warm kiss, chaste but firm and solid. He pulled back and pressed their foreheads together. 

“Before your heat?” 

“Totally, I could take your bite on our honeymoon, and then when I go into heat...whatever happens, happens…” Bucky said, biting his bottom lip nervously.

“God I love you, Bucky. It’s perfect and you could be pregnant by Christmas.” 

Bucky laughed and said, “That would take a major alignment of the stars, but I suppose if all went to plan. Now you just better take me to Thanksgiving dinner before I fall asleep.” 

Steve pecked him on the cheek and declared, “I was hungry before for real food, but wedding planning makes me really hungry!” 

Everyone was waiting for them when they pulled up to Tony and Pepper’s house. Tony came waddling out with Pepper on his trail. He waved Steve up towards the house as he came down the steps.

He shouted at them, “Pull up as close as you can. I don’t want Bucky to have to walk all the way up the yard. Come right up here!” He continued to direct Steve as far up into the grass as he could. 

They had shared that Bucky was going to Burlington for medical issues, but nothing more. Either they had assumed Bucky was quite ill or Doc had prepared them that Bucky would not be himself to receive this greeting. 

Steve put the truck in park and came around to find Tony opening the passenger door for Bucky. He intervened. “Here, Tony, let me help him out, you two might knock each other over.” 

Pepper took Tony by the arm out of the way and Steve helped Bucky navigate his way down from the front seat of the truck. When his feet hit the ground, Steve felt Bucky’s body jar and he heard a sharp intake of breath. “Okay Buck?”

Bucky buried his forehead in Steve’s chest and said, “Just need a minute.” Steve kissed the top of Bucky’s head and held him while he regrouped and took a few breaths. 

Lifting his head and looking up at Steve with a smile, Bucky said, “Time for some turkey.”

“You bet, Sweetheart. Let me get my arm around you for support, okay? Take your time.”

Bucky made it to Tony and got the biggest, gentlest hug. “How are you, Bucky? You look good, tired but good.” Pepper kissed him on the cheek and the two of them helped him up the steps. Steve walked dutifully behind them.

“I’m good, Tony. How are _you?_ You’ve dropped and that baby is coming any day now,” Bucky replied with an affectionate pat to Tony’s belly. 

“No, no, no,” Pepper objected. “He is not having that baby until you are feeling well enough to be his midwife. He is beside himself about it."

“I'm not _actually_ beside myself, I'd just prefer to wait for you. I mean, you did the classes and appointments and everything,” Tony protested. Steve chuckled behind them as Tony defended himself a bit too emphatically. 

There were warm greetings all around and someone began to pour wine. They sat down quite quickly, as dinner was ready. Bucky glanced around the table at their friends gathered together; May, Peter,Tony, Pepper, Natasha, Doc, Clint, Winnie in her baby seat asleep, Sam and Sharon. There were expectant looks, concerned but not too worried, mostly curiosity was what Bucky thought he read. 

Pepper stood at the head of the table, glass in hand, Sam was at the other end knife ready for carving the turkey. “I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to you all. We’ve got some new arrivals with us,” she glanced from Clint and Winnie, to Bucky as she spoke. “and we’ve got our old friends as well.”

She reached over and swirled her hand of Tony’s baby belly as she continued. “We also have a lot of potential for building our little group. I hope more in the future,” She said with a nod towards Steve and Bucky. “So Happy Thanksgiving to us all!”

Everyone clinked glasses, and sipped wine as turkey was put on plates and side dishes of stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, fall vegetables and home made rolls and breads were passed around. Plates were full and it was an easy comfortable time. Bucky was exhausted, but happy to be at a pleasant, tensionless holiday meal. 

The question came out as if it had taken everything within him for Tony to hold off as long as he could. “I just gotta ask, I mean I hope it’s okay, Doc came back from Burlington looking happy or as happy as a grump like him can look...I guess I just want to know if the news was good from the doctors out there?’ He ended with a sort of question though it was really more of a statement. Pepper was horrified.

“Tony! I said not at dinner. I told you we would ask later, not when there was an audience. What if it’s not good, what if-” she stopped as she realized she had only made it worse. “Oh my God. I am so sorry, Bucky. I- he- I-”

Bucky looked to Steve to save him as Bucky’s eyes began to shine and prickle. He had big plans and suddenly the emotion was just below the surface and then Steve stepped in. He fixed it. Bucky loved him for it, loved him for being able to smooth the rough edges of things without forcing himself onto everyone else.

“It's fine. Pepper, it’s fine. Tony just had the nerve to ask what everyone here wants to know but was worried to ask, right, Buck?” Steve answered with a comforting hand rubbing up and down Bucky’s back. Bucky nodded back with a smile and only a little wobble in his bottom lip. 

Dabbing his eyes with his napkin, Bucky added, “It's true, and I’m glad you want to know. I’m doing well. Great actually...it was a hormonal imbalance...a faltering heat if you know what that is.” He took a sip of wine and noticed wrinkled foreheads. “I’m going to assume from your faces that you don’t, not that we need a reproductive lesson during dinner, but…”

“Oh I think we totally need this lesson,” Tony reassured him. That broke the tension and everyone chuckled at the well meaning omega.

“So I, no I’m going to change that and say _we_ ,” Bucky said as he put his glass down and reached for Steve’s hand. The puppy dog look on Steve’s face told him it was the right thing to do. “Steve and I have been getting closer in the time since I came to Virgin River. Because of some things I was told about my health in the past, I was reluctant at first even though I felt drawn to him.” 

Steve leaned in and kissed Bucky on the temple and he leaned into it gratefully. “Anyway, I was not feeling well last weekend, hormonal issues, and it got pretty bad at work, so off to Burlington and the specialist.” Bucky blew out a soft breath and looked at Steve for a little help. 

“Bucky was in a faltering heat. That means his body, which had not been in heat for a very long time, was trying to get him back into a regular cycle and heat. Apparently, we are compatible and our closer relationship was causing that. It’s a good thing actually,” Steve continued for Bucky, giving him a chance to gain control of his emotions. There wasn’t a fork moving, or a mouth chewing. They all seemed to be waiting to hear more. 

“So in a nutshell, I had a simple corrective procedure. I am fine, I can go into heat, I can form a bond if I find someone I want to bond with, and I can carry a viable pregnancy,” Bucky finished with eyes brimming with happy tears, then with a wink to Steve he added one more thing. “Oh, and Steve asked me to marry him right before I went into the operating room, and I said yes.”

The table erupted and Bucky turned to Steve and kissed him. This was what it should be like when you share good news, your people genuinely excited for you and not afraid to show it. Steve and Bucky continued to kiss gently laughing at the chaos around them. 

***

It happened only a week after their trip to Burlington and both Doc and Steve were concerned about Bucky’s readiness for it. 

“Bucky you have only started back to work half days, are you sure about this?” Doc had asked.

Steve had made his famous concerned wrinkled brow face. “I don’t know, Buck. Maybe you’re not ready just yet.”

“Okay, you archaic alphas. You tell Tony I can’t help him deliver because the two of you think I might get tired.”

“I’m not saying that, Bucky. I’m just-” Steve started, but Bucky interrupted, pausing from packing his birthing kit in the supply room at Doc’s office. 

“You’re just worried. I get it, Steve. I know I have been through a lot. I know I am only working until noon every day, but this is Tony we are talking about. Doc, you can come with me and stay nearby, whatever, but I am not telling him no. I will self assess and if I think it is too much, I will say something. Pepper knows, she and I have discussed this every day since I came back from Burlington.”

Both alphas sighed and gave in. Steve hugged Bucky. He kissed the top of his head and said, “I’m going to drive you and wait in my truck.”

“I’ll wait here, but you call me if you need back up or for any reason at all,” Doc said. “You’re perfectly capable, it’s not that at all, you know that, right?” 

“Of course, I do, Doc. I appreciate the concern. I don’t blame you, but I do feel well enough, I took a nap today after work because someone made me,” he rolled his eyes towards Steve. “The circumstances could not be better.”

Bucky arrived to find a pretty frazzled Pepper and one very uncomfortable and distraught Tony Stark. “Oh thank God it’s you,” Pepper nearly cried when she answered the door. Steve had carried Bucky’s bag and she assured them both that Tony would not mind Steve being here to keep an eye on Bucky during the birth. 

“Is that him crying?” Bucky asked as he made his way towards the sound. 

“Yes, go through the kitchen to our private quarters, he’s in the living room there.”

Tony was pacing with his hands on his lower back and wavering back and forth between crying loudly and just sobbing softly. When he saw Bucky, he just covered his face with his hands and cried harder. 

Bucky wrapped his arms around Tony and held him until he settled down. “What’s the matter, Tony? Is it really painful already?”

Tony shrugged his shoulders, still in Bucky’s embrace and the tears started again. He finally got out, “I don’t think I can do it. I think I should go to the hospital and have a c-section.”

“Oh Sweetie, it’s overwhelming for sure, but you _can_ do it. I’m here now and Pepper is here to help you the whole way. We can get you in a rhythm here and I know you can handle it.” Just as he finished, Tony started to wail.

“Not another one, Jesus…” and he began to breathe roughly and grab his back, pulling away to pace as if he were trying to move away from the pain. Bucky followed and pulled him back into his arms.

“Hey, hey, now, come back here, put your head on my shoulder and we are going to breathe and rock it out, okay, breathe and rock it out.” Bucky began to sway them back and forth, repeating himself over and over and soon Tony was breathing and relaxing against Bucky instead of fighting the pain. 

When it was over, Bucky praised him. “See, you did it very easily and you’re one contraction closer to seeing your baby.” 

The next couple of minutes Bucky gave Tony to Pepper and set up in their bedroom which was where Tony wanted to deliver. Once he was done, he found Tony and Pepper rocking through another contraction in the living room and Steve in the doorway watching, but out of the way. He smiled shyly at his newly declared alpha and thought that in good time, this, what Tony and Pepper were getting to experience, might just be theirs as well. 

He gave Tony a full examination which ended with a check of his cervix and Bucky was tickled to find that Tony was doing much better than either of them thought. “Wow, Tony, you’ve been fooling me. You're already dilated to seven centimeters, that’s more than halfway there. Won’t be long now, especially if we keep you relaxed and let your body do it’s work, huh?”

By only eight that night, Tony was a trembling sweaty mess and ready to push. He was on their bed, stripped down to just the sheet on the mattress, with his head in Pepper’s lap. Bucky showed him a good side position for delivery and Pepper held his leg as he pushed. 

“Good job, Tony, making progress…” Bucky encouraged, silently grateful it was almost over. He was wearing out himself, though at this point capable of finishing the job. “Deep breath and bear down in your bottom, all you got.”

Tony was doing remarkably well and was crowning after only pushing for thirty minutes. Bucky had helped him by using hot compresses, to avoid tearing and he applied gentle pressure as the baby’s head pushed through his opening. 

Steve watched the careful way Bucky handled Tony and spoke with both him and Pepper throughout the labor and delivery. Steve thought Bucky was a gifted midwife, reassuring without being condescending. He watched now as Tony delivered his first child into Bucky’s hands and Steve realized his omega, who had given this wonderful experience to so many others, might just get to experience it again himself. Steve’s heart was full enough to burst. 

Tony and Pepper’s baby crying for the first time jarred Steve back into reality. 

“It’s a girl, Tony. You have a baby girl, Sweetie,” he heard Bucky call out. Steve loved that Bucky called all his patients Sweetie. He had never once used that endearment with Steve, it was clearly reserved for those in his care. He was wiping down the baby on Tony’s belly and congratulating the parents. 

“Great job, Daddy and Mom. That was hard work, but here she is. You did it, Tony, I am so proud of you. There you go, there’s her pretty face,” Bucky said softly as the family got to know each other. 

Steve went into the main living area of the house. He knew Bucky would need time to take care of Tony and get the baby settled. He just wanted to be sure that Bucky was okay at this delivery. It was a lot for Bucky with all he had been through, and he’d done well. He felt like the time after the birth was for the family only and a time to be treasured. He could not wait to have that time with Bucky if- when they had their baby. He sat on the sofa and let the emotions of the birth seep out of him. It was something he had never truly wanted before Bucky and then he thought they could not have it, not the way Pepper and Tony or Jane and Thor had it. But now, since the trip to Burlington, he and Bucky had the potential for it and Steve let himself feel the weight of the want. 

Steve must have dozed off, it was almost midnight. He jumped up to go check on Bucky. He found Bucky, tucking the new family into bed and he averted his eyes when he realized Tony was shirtless and nursing the baby. Pepper saw him and pulled the sheet around Tony’s shoulders over the baby and then waved Steve into the room. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. I must have dozed off. Can I do anything to help? Bucky, do you need anything? How about something from the kitchen?” Steve offered.

“Hey Steve, come meet Morgan,” Tony whispered. Steve went around to the side of the bed where Tony was and peeked at her under the covering. She was a sweet thing, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a pink hat. Her face was darling pressed up against Tony’s chest, nursing, and Steve felt a pang of short-lived jealousy. It gave way to feeling thrilled for them.

“God, Tony, she’s so beautiful. Congratulations to you both. Really.” Steve whispered back. 

Bucky had left and come back, saying, “Okay, we are all set. I put the crock pot on for you with breakfast casserole in it. The laundry is all going and Doc will be here about five in the morning. Do not hesitate to call either of us if the bleeding gets worse or if Tony does not feel well or seem right. He looks great. His pressure and temp are normal and Morgan is nursing really well. I love you both and that sweet girl, too.” 

Steve got Bucky home and after a very quick shower, had him in bed. Bucky was exhausted but happy. Steve snaked an arm around his waist and spooned Bucky close. “I’m so proud of you, Buck. Get some sleep, Sweetheart. I love you very much.”

“I love you, too, Steve,” Bucky said and then got very quiet. Steve thought he was asleep, but then he felt the trembling. 

“Buck?”

“I’m okay, just really tired,” Bucky reassured him. Steve snuggled him closer and held him tight, just as Bucky whispered. “I’m ready.”

“Ready for what, babe?” Steve asked.

“My turn…’m ready to be the one having the baby, now.” Steve had no answer for that, just a kiss and a whole lot to be thankful for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have wedding thoughts...might start doing pics to show my ideas...
> 
> Are you still out there? Let me hear you once in a while. Comments are a huuuuge motivator! I always forget to ask if there are things you want them to experience. Let me know if you have thoughts...


	18. Union

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky get married...its that simple...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my lord I love a good wedding! I hope you enjoy this sweet little ceremony. I suggest you look at Bucky's pinterest link below for a little visual inspiration before reading...
> 
> https://willbakewithbitty.tumblr.com/post/628023766178512896/buckys-wedding-pinterest
> 
> Sometimes ABO doesn't do weddings and the mating is more important. I always to the wedding as well, just my style. The mating is obviously private and this is their chance to share with friends...

Bucky stood before the mirror on his wedding day and felt an incredible sense of self. He hated to give even one second of thought to his first wedding day, but the contrast between the two was so incredible it felt like a confirmation. It was as if all that all that had gone wrong in his past, beginning with that first wedding, had done so to bring him to Steve. So he let himself remember that morning so long ago and then he shut that door with a confident finality and looked in the mirror at the Bucky he was now, headed into his future with Steve. 

He had chosen a far more casual outfit for this day, he wanted it to be top notch but comfortable. Bucky wore slim fitting cream colored wool cashmere pants and shirt. Over the top of the cream color layers he had a luxurious tan cable knit sweater with a side tie and soft chunky cream colored scarf. His hair was wavy with the top pulled back out of his face and a very rustic christmassy floral crown which doubled as his flowers. Wanda had done a wonderful job. The greenery was dotted with red berries and a few deep red roses, not the tight buds you get in a bouquet, but relaxed opening flowers in full bloom, just like Steve and Bucky’s love for each other. 

He looked around the cabin before going out to meet Steve. They had decorated for Christmas together, cutting down a tree and decorating it with soft white lights and a mix of new and old ornaments. Steve had a few from his childhood in a carefully packed box, Bucky had a few of his own as well. Mostly they filled the spaces with silver and gold bulbs and figured they would collect more as they grew older and lived their lives. 

Steve had cut lots of pine and spruce boughs and they had natural garland all over the cabin and out on the porch. There were more twinkle lights throughout it and it gave off the most ethereal glow. Bucky had an affinity for tall candles and he loved the pine smelling ones, so they were all set to be lit after the reception. Bucky and Steve decided there was nowhere better to spend the weekend of their wedding than the cabin, so they had prepared.

Bucky was worried the excitement and emotion of the wedding would trigger his heat and they both decided the place for that to happen was home. The cabin would be their home. Natasha had not agreed to sell it yet, but she was not saying no, so they were hopeful. Steve had spent the week before the wedding at his apartment above the bar. An apartment he would soon turn over to Sam and Sharon. Bucky and Steve had seen each other only in passing after decorating the outside of the cabin for the wedding. It had been three days since they last kissed. 

Bucky was ready and it was time. He slipped on his warm cream colored mittens and stepped onto the porch ready to start his new life with Steve.

***

It was cold, but Steve would wait in any weather for Bucky. Their friends and Becca were standing in a casual semi circle in front of the enormous wreath style arch that Steve had made after Bucky had shown him a picture on his pinterest thing. At the very top of the wreath, Wanda had arranged a selection of large cream colored flowered and ribbons. It was the perfect frame for Bucky and Steve as they said their vows. There was a trail of luminaries guiding Bucky’s way to Steve and it was four in the afternoon, dusk falling, creating a flawless winter wonderland. 

Steve had chosen his outfit with a little guidance from Bucky as well. He wore soft grey wool slacks and a grey blue dress shirt and tie that matched Bucky’s eyes precisely. Over the shirt and tie he wore a long blazer like grey sweater and the final touch was a thigh length tan overcoat that he wore open. He felt amazing and comfortable, ready to bind himself to Bucky forever. 

He stood in front of their friends with the wreath and the lake behind him and watched as Bucky opened the cabin door, walked across the porch, down the stairs and along the path of luminaries, just as the snow began to fall softly around them. Steve’s heart skipped a beat as Bucky stopped just shy of the lighted path to lift his smiling face and feel the snowflakes as they fell. 

Their ceremony was planned for simplicity, no music, just a casual group gathered to hear as the two men said their vows and joined their lives. They had splurged for a really good photographer. Both Bucky and Steve had small private sessions in their wedding attire before the ceremony and the photographer and his assistant both shot as Bucky and Steve saw each other for the first time. 

Steve thought that if there was ever a perfect moment in time, it was when his eyes met Bucky’s just as Bucky began to walk up the aisle to meet him. He looked so beautiful in his cream and coffee colored clothing. He looked comfortable, like his Bucky...happy. The wreath in his hair was the perfect depiction of the relationship with nature that existed within his omega, the way he was one with the life that he regularly helped into the world. 

Seeing Steve waiting for him at the end of the aisle stole Bucky’s breath away. His handsome alpha wore a grey layered suit style sweater. The long tan coat was the icing on the cake. He looked warm and like his Steve, and yet impeccably styled. His beard looked soft and full, and there was not a hair on his head out of place, Bucky would take care of that later. 

Bucky only had eyes for Steve. He knew their friends were present and he knew Becca was there, he had called his sister and settled their differences after she had insisted he came home and he refused. He had laser focus as he made his way down the aisle to Steve who stood alone waiting for him. 

They had decided not to have a wedding party, no best men, no one walking Bucky down the aisle. A very good friend of Steve’s agreed to do the ceremony. Fury was a tough old bird and was happy to come. He had gotten ordained through the internet after someone with PTSD had asked him to do a private wedding ceremony. The word spread and he had now joined many of his former men to their spouses. 

Bucky stopped just shy of the end of the luminaries and Fury stated, “Who gives this omega to this alpha today?”

“No one,” Bucky and Steve answered together. Bucky continued, “I come as the willing half of a whole, to build a life with Steve, to have a family with him.”

“And I meet him halfway, and ask him to come walk by my side, not to be owned but to be loved and cherished, respected as my equal partner,” Steve answered, voice breaking slightly. He cleared his throat as he walked to meet Bucky, pulling him into his arms and holding him warmly for as long as they both needed. Neither dared say anything else for fear of emotions taking control. 

When they were both ready, they turned towards the front and Steve took Bucky’s mittened hand in his and they strolled the remainder of the aisle as a couple. 

They stopped in front of Fury and Bucky smiled at Steve. “Hey.”

“Hey back at you, Buck. You look so beautiful,” Steve said just a little shyly, cheeks a bit pink.

Bucky snorted a laugh before he could help it. “You look plain hot, Stevie.”

That broke the ice a bit and the crowd, once dabbing at their eyes, now joined in the chuckling. 

“Well, now that they made it down here to the front, are we ready to see these boys get married?

The crowd cheered and whooped. “Alright then, If you two will please join hands.”

“Love the mittens, Buck,” Steve whispered. They were concerned about the metal of Bucky’s hand out in the cold. Sometimes it made his shoulder ache, so May had been the genius to mention a hand warmer packet inside a mitten. 

“Welcome everyone. My name is Nick Fury, I had the privilege of serving with Steve in the military years ago. I have done many weddings for my men, but this one...this one is special. I just needed to say that, to make sure Steve knows that.” Fury said, his tone stern but warm with affection. “We have come together in support of this couple as they make a choice to join their lives together and continue on in life as partners. Before we unite them with the legal vows, they have chosen to speak to each other in an expression of their love and promise.” 

Bucky swallowed hard blinking several times to stop the prickle in his eyes. He really wanted to speak of his love for Steve with strength, without tears. 

“Steve Rogers, love of my life...truest of hearts...you mean the world to me. When I came to Virgin River, I was broken and sad. You drew me in like a magnet, even though I fought it. Somehow your heart knew what mine could not, that we belonged together, always. I’m not the perfect partner, but I love you and promise to always work hard to be what you need. I am so lucky to have found you here and I cannot wait to have a family and grow old with you. Thank you for genuinely loving me...all of me. Today and always, my heart belongs to you. That’s what I wanted to say.”

Steve’s lip wobbled the entire time Bucky spoke to him and he fought tears, hard. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his eyes before reaching out and wrapping Bucky in his arms again. “He choked out, “Sorry...I’m gonna need a sec here…”

The crowd awwwed at Steve’s show of emotion and Bucky rubbed his mittened hand up and down Steve’s back, trying to sooth him. 

“James Barnes, my sweet Bucky…” Steve barely got out before he full out sobbed and Bucky held him again, allowing him to calm himself. 

“ _ Stevie… _ ” he whispered, “it’s okay, take your time.” 

Finally, Steve laughed and raised his head. “Wooo, see what this jerk does to me?”

“Shut up, you punk,” Bucky added, hoping the banter would help Steve, which it did.

“Alright, let’s try this again,” Fury demanded playfully.

“James Barnes, my sweet Bucky. When I met you, I was damaged...full of painful empty spaces, some I never even knew were there. Spending time with you filled those holes little by little, helping me to feel whole again. I didn’t think I deserved someone as beautiful and wonderful as you. You are so generous and kind and loving. No one is perfect, not you, certainly not me, but we are perfect for each other. I think we’ve learned that recently. I am so grateful you love me and that you let me love you in return. Today I give you all of me...willingly and with joy. Okay, Buck?”

Bucky sniffed a huge breath and tears of happiness rolled down his cheeks as he nodded, unable to form words. Steve, ever the gentleman, took a clean handkerchief from a different pocket and wiped Bucky’s eyes and nose. They held each other again and Bucky so loved the casual pace of their ceremony. This was clearly for them and not a pony show. It was truly meaningful and memorable, evident by the fact that there was not a dry eye in the crowd witnessing the exchange. 

Fury called back the focus saying, “We are now ready for the vows. Please join your left hands. Steven Grant Rogers, do you take James Buchanan Barnes  to be your husband, asking nothing of him, allowing him to be his true self? Will you love all that you know about him and trust what you have yet to learn? Will you respect his integrity and have faith that he will love you always through all that your new life may bring?”

“I will,” Steve said firmly. 

James Buchanan Barnes, do you take Steven Grant Rogers  to be your husband, asking nothing of him, allowing him to be his true self? Will you love all that you know about him and trust what you have yet to learn? Will you respect his integrity and have faith that he will love you always through all that your new life may bring?”

“I will,” Bucky answered with confidence. 

Fury held out his hand, “May I have the rings, please?” 

Tony and Clint walked forward with Winnie and Morgan and handed over little pillows with the rings. It was a darling moment and symbolic of their hope of a family of their own. 

Bucky removed his mittens and tucked them under his arm. Steve and Bucky held left hands again and Steve went first.

“Bucky I give you this ring as a reminder of my promise to you today. When you see it know that my love for you is as continuous and unending.” He slid the ring onto the ring finger of Bucky’s left hand. It locked perfectly into place. 

“Steve, it fits…” Bucky could not contain his surprise. 

“Course it does, Buck. I made it just for you.”

Bucky admired the gold band with the thin inlay of wood. “Thank you, Steve.”

“Steve, I give you this ring as a reminder of my promise to you today. When you see it, know that my love for you is as continuous and unending.” Then he slipped the simple gold band over Steve’s knuckle and onto his finger. “It’s engraved inside...It says, Til the end of the line,” Bucky whispered in his ear. 

“I love it, Buck.”

Fury concluded the ceremony.  "Now you will feel no rain, for you will be shelter to each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life before you. May your days be good and long upon the earth.”

Bucky and Steve stood holding hands, eyes locked and warm. “Go on now, y’all can kiss.”

And they did. And everyone cheered. And they were married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think...


	19. Permanence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new Mr. and Mr. Rogers celebrate with friends, and then alone. Will their bond take is the question that sits in the back of Bucky's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the encouraging comments last chapter. I really, really enjoy reading your thoughts. 
> 
> We are finally here and I can't believe that it is going to happen. Will Steve be romantic, will Bucky be able to hold onto their bond? Who knows!!! Please forgive that the first part of the chapter sounds like I am a wedding planner. All of my characters get lovely receptions and I bake cakes(yummy and decently decorated cakes, hence my username) as a hobby. I would love to own a bakery someday! Anyhoo, the wedding night is not as long as I wanted it to be, but my mind hijacked it and took it a different direction than I had originally planned. I still love it. Enjoy

After what seemed like forever, the photographers were done at the cabin. Steve and Bucky were a little worried about the time, but they really wanted to capture the romance of the ceremony and their friends simply watched the fantastic team capture their day. They had to work quickly as it was getting dark, but the photographers had told Steve and Bucky not to worry, they were prepared for the change in lighting. 

There were photos of them in the cabin doorway, on the swing together, holding hands, in front of the lake as a silhouette, plus so many wonderful things Steve and Bucky could not have imagined. They got the whole group involved and then there were photos of Steve, Bucky and Becca. Then it was time to go to celebrate with food and dancing.

“Anyone hungry?” Steve called out and the crowd, hooted and hollered back as he and Bucky led the way on the short walk to the bar. 

Bucky smiled and squeezed Steve’s hand. “What?” Steve asked with a chuckle.

“It’s just that this is a special walk for me...this walk led me to you for the first time,” Bucky answered.

“That it did. Buck, when I saw you the first time, I knew it. I just _knew_...and I felt so inadequate, like you would never see me as anything other than a guy pouring whiskey,” Steve replied in a voice so small it almost hurt Bucky to hear it, then he laughed because it was so far from the truth. Steve looked taken aback at his laughter.

“Oh, Honey, I’m sorry for laughing, but I took one look at you and thought _Hot Lumberjack_ in that blue flannel shirt and jeans... your sleeves rolled up and those hairy forearms. Damn, you were so handsome and I was so lost.”

“Pfft,” Steve uttered in disbelief. 

“And now I’ve got you all to myself...my very own whisky pouring lumberjack…” Bucky laughed until Steve swept him up into his arms with a messy kiss and the Bucky squawked, embarrassingly loudly.

Steve set Bucky down on the decking of the bar and then opened the door for them to pass through. Steve knew what was coming, he and Sam had worked with Wanda based on a few pictures Bucky had shown them. Whatever Pinterest was, it was very handy for Bucky to share with Wanda because she seemed to know just what to do. 

“Oh my God,” Bucky’s words came out as true disbelief. How could they not when the place he had entered did not look like Steve’s bar at all. It had been transformed into a rustic woodland dining hall with one tremendous long and intricately set banquet table for the entire party. 

The table had clearly been built just for today, from hewn lumber, unfinished, yet soft looking and there was a combination of christmas like boughs and greenery Bucky could never name running down the center of the table. The same greenery somehow hung from the ceiling, magically closing in the empty space. There were enormous lanterns placed throughout the room giving off a romantic glow and the table itself was littered with tall candlesticks and exquisite place settings. The contrast in style and texture was everything Bucky had ever dreamed of and more. 

The intimacy of the space seeped into Bucky and he turned to find Steve staring at him, eyes worried and yet hopeful...expectant. He realized Steve was worried about Bucky liking it. Liking it? Bucky _loved_ it.

He did not bother with words. He took off his mittens, tucked them into the waistband of his pants, took Steve’s face in his hands and conveyed his feelings in a kiss that went on for probably far too long in front of others. When they broke, Steve stood with his hands grasping Bucky’s biceps and his eyes closed as if he was either wanting to remember the kiss or was rendered immoble by it. Finally his eyes fluttered open and he broke out into the sweetest smile.

“I take it we did alright?” 

“Steve...I can’t even…”

“We’re blocking the doorway, babe, we need to let people in,” Steve laughed, pulling Bucky aside to let in their guests. 

There was an area for people to leave their coats and Steve dropped his and stuck Buck’s mittens in the pocket. The entire bar was covered with a charcuterie station, cheeses at one end and meats towards the other, interspersed with all sorts of crackers, fruits and vegetables, pickled items like artichokes and olives. There were spreads and dips as well, it was an edible work of art. Instead of the large bar serving drinks, a wine station and small whiskey bar had been set up as well as a craft beer tap. There was plenty of food and drink to pick at until dinner. 

Steve walked Bucky around the room and showed them the two seats at the far end of the large table that had been set side by side for them. Bucky looked down the length of the magnificent table, it was just like he pictured only better. Steve showed him the cake table, covered with an unimaginable variety of goodies and the beautiful white tiered cake they had chosen. 

Before he could focus on any one item, Vision’s voice announced all of the stations and that on behalf of the two grooms everyone should relax and have a lovely evening. Soft music began to play and Bucky and Steve each got a whiskey and began to pick at the beautiful spread on the bar. It was a relaxing time to chat with everyone and to occasionally remember that their grasped hands were a sign that they were married. Bucky sighed every time he thought of the simplicity of this day and the connection he felt with steve. His only worry and it was small now, was the mating bite. Would the bond take? 

When Steve wasn’t holding his hand, every couple of minutes, Bucky would feel the warmth of Steve’s hand at the small of his back. It was reassuring and Bucky worried less and less about that bond. He just let himself be in the moment and enjoy the fact that just three short months, just three months, he had been at one of the lowest, loneliest points of his life. He had been desperate enough to sell everything that did not fit in his car and come to an unknown place to try again. He’d had no idea what that decision would bring him...and it brought him Steve. Steve who had just loved him enough to let him love himself again. 

Sam came out of the kitchen and gave them careful hugs, he was in his apron and in his glory putting on their wedding dinner. There were a number of strangers in jeans and white button downs and Sam explained they were veterans from his counseling group and they had come to run the dinner so all of their friends could celebrate. 

Vision came and took Steve and Bucky then called everyone to their seats at the table. People knew where to sit because at each plate was a circular slice of a branch decorated like a Christmas ornament with their name on it, the back of it read:

Steve and Bucky

December 15, 2020

Thanks for celebrating our day with us!

Servers brought champagne to the table and poured flutes for everyone. When they were ready, Vision announced the couple to the table full of friends and family.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. We are here today to celebrate the wedding day of two of the nicest people any of us know. I know I speak for all of us when I say that we are incredibly happy they both came to Virgin River and even happier that they found one another.” The crowd cheered and clapped. 

“It is with the greatest pleasure that I ask you to join me in welcoming the new couple, the darlings of Virgin River, our Steve and Bucky, Mr. and Mr. Steven Grant and James Buchanan Barnes Rogers!”

Natasha led the crowd with a piercing whistle and everyone shouted and clapped in syncopated rhythm as the couple, hands clasped and raised, walked over and took their place at the head of the table. Bucky’s face literally hurt from smiling and he bit his lip to keep his emotions in check. Steve, of course, held Bucky’s chair while he sat. Then instead of sitting, Steve took his champagne glass from the table and held it in the air. The guests quieted, held their glasses and waited. 

“Welcome everyone and thank you for celebrating with us today. I think I speak for both of us when I say that we feel very loved today. Bucky and I are not from Virgin River, but each of us very shortly after our arrivals, felt accepted and a part of this place. Of course, it will always be the place that brought us together.” He leaned over and kissed Bucky sweetly before continuing. “Sorry, I can’t help but kiss my husband sometimes.”

The group erupted, half taking the sweet path and awwing at Steve, the other half wolf whistled. Bucky laughed and turned beet red, Steve wasn’t far behind.

“Anyway, just three months ago, this wonderful guy came into my bar, this place, and I was just taken by him, heart and soul. So to all of you and to my Bucky...” he reached for Bucky’s hand and held it tightly. “but mostly to us, Buck. Thank you for marrying me, for loving me and for all that is to come for us.” 

Glasses clinked, eyes were dabbed and then someone tapped a glass with their fork. It caught on and then Bucky laid a kiss on Steve that would make the devil himself blush. 

“What on earth, Buck?” Steve questioned after the kiss.

“Shut up you punk, when they tap their glasses we have to kiss.”

“Really?” Steve looked very puzzled. Bucky truly wondered if Steve had ever been to a wedding before. As if they heard, Natasha and Bruce tapped their glasses again and this time Steve gave Bucky back what he had coming. 

Sam and his crew served an incredible steakhouse meal starting with a traditional wedge salad with blue cheese dressing and bacon. Massive platters of sliced steak came out with perfectly roasted winter vegetables, of course with brussel sprouts. They ate, when they weren’t kissing on command via glasses clinked by evil guests, until they could eat no more and then they danced.

Steve and Bucky danced their first dance to All of Me by John Legend, and once again Steve whispered the words to Bucky as they swayed together. The song suited them so well and when it played, Bucky felt like he and Steve were alone, just the two of them. 

Vision was a talented DJ and kept the party hopping. Steve and Bucky shed their outer layers, leaving Steve in his shirt with the sleeves rolled up and Bucky in his cream cashmere sweater doing the macarena, YMCA, the electric slide and every other corny group dance they could until people were worn out and ready for cake. 

The dessert table was covered in platters and stands of varying heights, all made of cut logs and branches. It was rustic and beautiful and reminded Bucky of the times they had gone ax throwing and when they chopped firewood, and if he was truthful, what often came after those activities. 

The cake had come from a bakery in Clear Water, luckily winter was not a big wedding season and they could get it made in just a few weeks. It was all white with three yummy layers that Steve and Bucky had chosen themselves. The bottom layer was decorated like a cable knit sweater and was chocolate fudge cake with peppermint buttercream filling. The middle layer was intricate scenes of the mountains and trees around Virgin River, and was coffee soaked vanilla bean cake with mascarpone and cocoa sprinkled mousse filling. The smallest layer was simple icing with a topper of the same greenery and flowers as the wreath in Bucky’s hair. It was almond butter cake with white chocolate mousse filling. Bucky was thrilled with how it had come out. 

They cut the middle layer and fed each other daintily. When they had tasted and ordered the cake, Bucky had quietly expressed how important it was that they not make a mess of the cake on each other. When he had looked up from his hands, the pained look on Steve’s face, he knew his alpha understood. Steve had been so careful tonight, even wiping a bit of icing from Bucky’s lip with his thumb before tenderly kissing him. 

The rest of the table was a mix of peppermint bark, red velvet cake pops with cream cheese icing, tiny petit fours that looked like presents, and chocolate covered strawberries. The staff had set up a hot chocolate station as well, and it was piled full of candies and marshmallows for homemade hot chocolate. 

Steve and Bucky spend the rest of the night thanking people for coming and dancing to the slow music that Vision played. Bucky rested his head on Steve’s shoulder, tucking his face into his neck. Bucky felt so at ease and so relaxed about the day and the fact that he and Steve were married. He had honestly even stopped worrying about the fact that they were going to attempt to bond later that night. No...wait, not attempt, they were going to mate and bond. Bucky was sure of it. Emotion flooded through him when he thought about it. It felt like a flash fire but in a good way.

“I love you, Steve. Thanks for today, it was perfect.”

“It was perfect, Buck. I love you very much.”

“Love me enough to bite me later?”

Steve kissed Bucky and it went a little past chaste as Steve pulled Bucky impossibly close. “You bet I do. You still okay, not too tired?”

“Never too tired for you, Stevie.”

“Good, Buck, cause I can't wait to be bonded to you forever.”

“Well, what are we waiting for? It’s almost eleven and that’s when this shindig ends.”

“Bucky, are you saying we should cut out of our own reception early to get frisky?” Steve asked with a wicked smile.

“You’re such a goody two shoes. Let me remind people about the favors and then we’re out of here. I’ve got plans for you, husband,” Bucky said playfully. Steve’s eyes darkened at Bucky’s use of his new title. Bucky left him on the dance floor with a little peck to his lips. 

Bucky asked Vision for the mic so he could make an announcement to their guests. Steve joined him and had straightened his shirt and tie and was wearing his sweater blazer. He had Bucky’s cable knit and helped him slip it back on just before he said goodnight for them.

“Hey everyone, it’s almost time to go and-” he was interrupted by boos. “I know, we feel the same way. Thanks to all of you for coming and for making today so meaningful and fun. This was a hell of a party. Steve and I want to make sure you take your place marker with you, they are Christmas ornaments for your tree. We hope you remember this day each year when you see them, we know we will. Also, by the door on your way out is a bar of lavender soap that reminds us of one of our favorite dates when Steve was courting me.” He stopped to kiss Steve to the delight of the crowd. 

Steve took the mic and shouted, “Goodnight all, I am taking my husband home to bed!”

Bucky absolutely did not shriek when Steve said that and then threw Bucky over his shoulder heading towards the door. Bucky had to hang on to his crown with one hand and then realised he could grab Steve’s ass with the other. 

Steve felt Bucky grab his butt and he laughed and deposited Bucky on his feet by the coat area. They were walking, so Steve put his coat around Bucky’s shoulders and they hugged their friends goodnight. Sam reassured them that he would be sure anything important was saved and put aside for them so they could go. 

“You two have fun, now. If you forgot anything, I’ll put it away for you. I’ll pack up the leftovers and drop them off on the porch tomorrow in the afternoon. The bakery will come get the top layer of the cake and take care of it so you can freeze it until your anniversary. I’m happy for you both, I hope you know that.”

“We do, Sam. thanks a million. The food was phenomenal,” Steve said as he hugged Sam. 

“Only for you, Captain Rogers.” Sam turned to Bucky and hugged him, too. 

Steve and Bucky left with a final shout of goodbyes and walked through a shower of birdseed from the guests who had lined their path outside the bar. 

“Holy shit!” Bucky yelled as they ran holding hands across the parking lot. Then they were alone and walking back to their home picking bird seed out of Bucky’s hair, to spend their first night as a married couple. 

“Well, Mr. Rogers…” Bucky said.

“Yes, Mr. Rogers?” Steve asked with a crooked smile.

“How does it feel to be married?” Bucky asked with a kiss to the back of his husband’s hand. 

“It feels perfect, just like I thought it would.” 

Steve’s response stopped Bucky in his tracks and Steve turned to see why. “Stevie…”

“I mean it, Buck. I feel great. _We_ feel perfect to me. I am so in love with you and I cannot wait for the rest of our lives.” Then he kissed Bucky, aggressively, but in the best way. “Let’s get moving, husband, I have so many things I want to do with you tonight.”

At the cabin door, Steve unlocked it with a hidden key and then wrapped one arm around Bucky’s shoulders and scooped the other under his knees to carry him over the threshold. 

“You are a sappy romantic fool, Steve Rogers.”

“That I am. Finding you did that to me.”

“Is that okay?” Bucky asked coyly. 

“You bet it is,” Steve said as he swung the door shut and pressed Bucky against it. He cupped Bucky’s cheek and kissed him, sweetly, but hungrily, tasting Bucky with his tongue. Bucky tilted his head to deepen the kiss and birdseed fell from his hair and bounced across the floor. They laughed together, lips still touching, but Steve pulled Bucky away from the door and opened it.

“Out on the porch, Buck! Don’t worry, I’ll save you from the birds!” Steve almost giggled. Bucky stepped back out and they shed their layers and Bucky’s crown and the braid that held his hair back from his face. They dutifully rid each other of as much bird seed as possible before freezing and then shook out their sweaters before heading back inside to the warmth of the cabin..

Bucky shivered and then snaked his arms around Steve’s waist, suggesting, “How about a quick shower and then we consummate this marriage!” 

“Ha, Buck,” Steve laughed aloud, “pretty sure we did that weeks ago.”

“Yeah, but tonight’s special. Gonna get bit and I don’t want to be smelly when it happens.”

They managed to keep it very platonic in the shower, mostly because Bucky’s hair was still full of their friends' ridiculous aim. 

“Fucking birdseed, it’s everywhere,” Bucky was exasperated by it but Steve just washed Bucky’s hair again and soon they were out and Steve was using the blow dryer on Bucky’s upside down head. 

Steve was running his fingers through Bucky’s hair while he worked to get it dry enough to not get them both soaked. “You have an unnatural affinity for my hair, Stevie.”

“I’m offended by that, it’s a totally healthy obsession and nothing more.” 

Bucky stood from his seat on the edge of the tub, flipping his hair back and grabbed the blow dryer from Steve. “That’s dry enough, Vidal Sasoon.”

“Hey,” Steve protested before realizing the scene before him. 

They were both naked, just out of the shower, no longer shy around one another, and it was... _nice_. It was nice because they were good together, comfortable and not feeling any kind of pressure. It was a feeling neither of them were used to until now.

Bucky dropped the dryer and stepped into Steve’s space. He kissed him, mouth open and wanting. Steve returned the kiss, deepening it and the room began to fill with the sounds of it. It was gentle yet eager. Soft noises came from each of them, sighs and gasps, both of them becoming harder by the second. 

With a push to Steve’s chest, Bucky broke their kiss. He took a step back and looked Steve up and down, taking his time.  
  


“Okay, Buck?” Steve's voice a bit shaky from kissing and now concern.

“Fine, just looking at my husband, that okay?” Bucky responded. He reached out to Steve’s wet hair and ran his hands over it and down the back of his neck, slowly over his shoulders and arms, with a quick squeeze of his large biceps. “So beautiful, Steve…” 

Steve felt himself blush at Bucky’s attention, but after a few seconds he realized they had been naked together and oh so intimate, but Bucky was right, had they ever really looked at each other, touched just to know the feel of each other? He watched Bucky visually explore him, and he began to do the same, just look and touch, memorize his husband’s body. 

Bucky saw the moment Steve caught on and came on board with his plan. The two stood in the bathroom and just looked and felt for the sake of it, seeking just the pleasure of knowing muscles and softness, nothing sexual, not just yet. Bucky turned Steve and God he loved Steve’s shoulders and back and the way they curved in at his lower back. Bucky traced his hands down that spectacular slope, until it curved back out into that incredibly firm, round ass. Fuck Bucky was a lucky man. He went right back up the slope of Steve’s backside, it was worth the two trips, wasn’t it? He thumbed at the two dimples above Steve’s hips before moving outward to his hips and down to his thighs, strong and covered with just the right amount of hair. Bucky knew the strength of those thighs, had experienced it first hand, but to see them, to _see_ Steve was like looking at a piece of art in a museum. 

Steve was panting and whispering out soft moans when Bucky completed his 360 degree looksee. It was clear they were both eager for more and they both groaned when Bucky hand circled Steve’s already aching cock. _God this is all mine,_ he thought. 

“It is Buck, I am...all yours.” Steve replied in a near whimper. 

Bucky became embarrassed for the first time when he realized he said those words aloud to Steve. “Jesus, sorry…”

“God, don’t be, _please_ don’t be.”

Bucky looked up at Steve, his face was wrinkled in a combination of pleasure and concern. Like he thought Bucky might swallow back his words. 

“Alright, Stevie, as long as you know this is all yours, too,” he reassured and put Steve’s hand on his cock, the same way Bucky still held Steve’s. 

The sound Steve made sounded like it had been punched from his gut. 

“I want you,” Bucky said simply.

“I want you, too, Buck...so much.” 

Both of their voices were wet with emotion and they held each other, stroking each other softly, free arms moving to embrace one another. Steve finally found the strength to move them towards the bedroom and they walked, holding hands, full of anticipation for what was to come. 

Bucky stopped long enough to light a few candles he had put out earlier in the day. The room had a pleasant glow with no lights needed and they settled into the bed, under the sheets Steve had pulled back. They lay facing each other and began to kiss again in earnest. 

Rolling them so Steve was on his back and Bucky pressed their hips together. “Fuck, Steve, I really want you...so wet for you.” 

“You smell so good, Bucky...smell so good for me.”

He worked his way down Steve’s neck with open mouth kisses and when he reached Steve’s chest, his mouth sought Steve’s sensitive nipples. He lavished his attention to each of the hard pink nubs until Steve was whining and holding Bucky’s hips with a desperate firmness as he ground up into Bucky. 

Steve gently flipped them and returned the favor, sucking and biting Bucky’s nipples, devouring them with wet kisses and embarrassingly loud slurping noises. “Good thing we both love this, huh?” 

“Holy shit, yes…” Buck answered, ushering Steve’s mouth back where it was needed. “I hate to break up the party, but if we don’t...I’m so... already…”

“Alright, Bucky, s’okay, babe, I want you, too.” Steve reassured. 

They had discussed this night in advance. They talked about what they both wanted, what their jobs were on this most important occasion. They had even taken an online class about mating and bonding, so they could understand it better together. 

“Still like we talked about, Buck?”

Bucky nodded, still rolling his hips up into Steve’s, seeking friction. 

“Words, Buck…”

Bucky focused and managed to speak, “Yes, please, like we said.” 

Bucky felt himself slipping, losing focus, feeling cared for and loved. It was the most relaxed he’s ever felt in his life and he was aware that Steve was helping him to his hands and knees. 

“Okay, Buck?” Steve whispered in his ear from behind with Bucky held firmly to his chest. 

Bucky perked up a little at that and began to stroke his own cock and rock back into Steve’s hips, feeling Steve’s own erection, leaking at the tip and slipping past his hole to nudge at Bucky’s balls. 

“Fuck, Steve! ‘m ready!” he cried out. 

Steve leaned them both forward and cupped at Bucy’s balls before slipping a finger in to find Bucky open and wet for his cock. He slid home in one long stroke and Bucky groaned loud and long, low in his throat. Steve knew it would not take long and he was so glad they had taken the class on mating, because although he was thoroughly enjoying fucking Bucky, he had sensed his husband going soft on him and Steve felt a huge sense of responsibility to take good care of Bucky in this moment. 

Steve fucking him always felt good, but there was something different about it tonight and Bucky was hungry for it. He knew where he was, that Steve had him, and that they were going to mate, but there was a shift in Bucky physically that he could not explain because he had never felt it before. This must be the haze everyone meant when they talked about their bonding moments. 

“Buck... fuck, Bucky, you okay?”

“Fuck, yes, honey, please, I need you, do it…”

“Touch yourself, Bucky, ‘m close and it’s better if you come, ‘member?”

He did remember and he knew Steve was taking good care of him, so Bucky let go and stroked his leaking cock quickly, aching for release and Steve’s bite. 

“Please...please…”

“Gotcha Buck, gonna do it, gonna bite you, make you mine and fill you up. Mark you mine on the inside, too.” 

Oh Bucky liked that thought. “Yes, fuck yes…’m coming, Steve... _please!”_ Bucky shouted as he erupted into the sheets. He heard Steve grunt and felt his knot pop past Bucky’s rim just as Steve placed a hand on Buckys’ forehead and held his head firmly back on his shoulder. 

The next thing Bucky felt was a piercing pain in his neck. He called out, “ _Steve!_ ” 

Steve did not answer with his voice, but Bucky felt Steve rubbing and patting at his chest. It was what they had agreed would be Steve’s way of comforting Bucky until he could let go with his mouth. Bucky gave his reply by grabbing the back of Steve’s head and patting back. 

They held on together there Bucky on his knees and one hand and Steve draped over the top of him, and then Bucky began to feel it, he could feel the bond take. It wasn’t anything crazy, no telepathy or anything, but he could feel Steve swirling around inside him and filling in his soul. Bucky felt complete and whole in a way he had never felt before. 

“Feel it, Steve?” Bucky asked and the nod and the firm pat he got back was all he needed to know that they were bonded. It had taken, Steve and Bucky were now married and mated. 

***

Bucky woke to find himself curled up in Steve’s arms. He felt at peace with himself and he felt connected to Steve in a way he had always dreamed. He also had a terrible ache in his neck. Bad enough that he might actually cry. Steve stirred. 

“Sweetheart, you alright?” Steve asked with a yawn.

Bucky clamped his hand over where it hurt the worst, finding a bandage there. Big mistake. Pain shot through the bite mark and down his neck. 

“Steve,” he managed to get out trying to stay still so it wouldn’t get worse. He knew this could happen and with all of the alcohol and dancing he was probably a bit dehydrated. That could cause the hormones to pool and explain the neck pain. 

“It’s alright, Buck, let me start the tub and get you some water, we knew this might happen, right?”

Bucky nodded, so grateful for Steve, such a good alpha. He lay in bed and let Steve take charge. 

Despite the pain there was nothing in the world like the feeling of knowing that he and Steve had formed a bond, Bucky could still tell it had taken. He let Steve take off the bandage and carry him to the steaming tub that smelled like lavender. When Steve climbed in and settled behind him, Bucky curled into his chest. Steve kept dipping the face cloth into the warm water and putting it back on the bite. He was already feeling better when Steve told him to go back to sleep.

“Go on, Bucky, my omega. Go back to sleep, I’ll take care of you.” Steve said, giving Bucky sweet kisses and stroking his hand over Bucky’s head on his shoulder. 

And Bucky knew his alpha meant it, so he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear Jesus tell me you thought it was enough for these two romantic lovebugs!!!!


	20. Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky are mated and happy, let the waiting begin...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I am sorry for my time away. I had to get my school open for in person learning. Life is a chore! I hate adulting at times!! 
> 
> Anyway, here is our next little bit of the story. Have some happy boys and an interesting twist, plus a bit of angst, just a tad.

Bucky woke the next morning curled around Steve’s back. It certainly wasn’t the first time he had woken in bed with Steve, it wasn’t even the first time he woke up as the big spoon. It was definitely the first time he woke up in bed with Steve as his alpha for _real_. It was something that Bucky expected to have a heavy feel, to shroud him in overdone sensations and cause him to be overly emotional. He kind of figured the hormones would do it, whack him out, make him weepy. Last night they had, but they simply hadn't distributed properly and had caused him pain. 

He was pleasantly surprised to find that he felt pretty good, if not still a little sore in his neck. He actually felt the best he had in a very long time. He lay still with his nose buried into hair at the nape of Steve’s neck, inhaling the citrusy pine smell that was his alpha, and felt himself smile. Of course his smiling didn’t let Steve sleep much longer.

“Mornin’ Buck...how you feelin’?”

“I feel married and mated.”

“I meant are you feeling better,” Steve said with a sleepy grin as he turned in Bucky’s arms, to embrace him. 

Bucky answered playfully, “I knew what you meant, Punk. I feel fine, little sore in my neck, but still great.” 

They stayed quietly intertwined, just enjoying the feeling of breathing together in bed, naked. 

Bucky wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to disturb the moment. He waited as long as he could, then he broke and asked. “How’re you today?”

“Feeling lucky, Buck, like ice cream for dinner lucky.”

“Wanna go for a run?”

Steve pulled back and looked at him curiously. “For real?”

“Yeah, it’s been a few days because of the wedding, I kind of want to.”

“The morning after our wedding night I thought you’d wanna do something else,” Steve chuckled, kissing in that sweet spot behind his earlobe. .

Bucky turned his head and brushed their noses together sweetly. “There’s lots of time to do lots of things. I miss running with you and I think it will help me settle down a bit, hormones and all…”

“You know I’ll never turn down a run,” Steve answered, flinging back the blankets, leaving them both lying there exposed to the chill in the room. 

Bucky groaned at the cold and curled into Steve even further, ”Steve!”

“You’re the one who wanted to run, babe…” Steve said smacking Bucky on his ass and climbing out of bed.

Running down the well salted main road less than an hour later, Bucky reached out for Steve’s hand and they ran just a few strides holding their hands clasped. Bucky had on mittens and Steve his fingerless gloves. It was cold, and a little hard to breathe at first, but it was wonderful. When they let go, their strides matched and they ran in unison, like they were a matched set. 

They could only run on the main road because of the snow, so it was straight out and back, but it was outdoors and beat the treadmills they had in the basement of the bar for stormy days. They had stopped for a minute before turning back. They were alone in the middle of Vermont, no traffic on the road, just the two of them and Bucky could not help himself. 

Jumping up into a very surprised Steve’s arms, Bucky raised both arms over his head and shouted at the top of his lungs, “I’m so fucking happy!” 

Steve twirled them around and hollered himself before setting Bucky on his feet and kissing him soundly, languidly, kiss after kiss right where they stood on the dotted lines of the road. They ran back to the cabin and didn’t even bother showering. 

Steve slammed the cabin door shut and Bucky pushed him down on the couch. “God, we’re finally gonna fuck on the couch.”

Kicking his sneaks off and ripping his running layers off, Steve stripped Bucky’s pants and boxers off before pulling him into his lap, both of them sweaty and painting, on the couch. They both groaned loudly, shamelessly, cocks already rock hard. 

Bucky pulled his sweatshirt off over his head and rolled his hips aggressively until Steve finally growled and raised Bucky’s hips to line his cock up with Bucky’s hole. The way his head slipped into Bucky let him know it was okay and he was about to thrust up when Bucky sat purposefully, sheathing Steve’s cock in one fluid movement. 

“ _Fuck,_ ” Steve yelled as Bucky began to ride him with intent. Bucky was on a quest and Steve just held on for dear life, grasping at his omega’s hips. Their mouths crashed together as Bucky leaned forward to kiss Steve, plundering into his mouth with his tongue. It was exhilarating to be on the couch where they first found out Bucky could get slick again, only this time with Steve balls deep into him, searching for that pivotal point that sent them over the edge. 

“Steve…s’good...big” Bucky moaned into Steve’s mouth. “Feel so full.”

“Yeah? Like that? So tight, Buck.”

Bucky came first, Steve always made sure of that, then Steve locked his knot deep in Bucky’s core. They panted and groaned through the aftershocks, Bucky milking him even longer than usual. 

“Christ, Steve…dirty mouth gets me every time.” 

“ _MY_ dirty mouth? I hardly said three words and believe me I can talk dirtier than that.”

Bucky settled his head on Steve’s shoulder wiping his own hair out of his face, and relaxed to wait out the time they would be tied together. He smiled at Steve’s comment. “Well, we can explore that a little in my heat, then.”

“Alright, Buck...we can do that,” Steve said and he cupped the back of Bucky’s head and kissed him sweetly on the lips. Steve hoped that time would come soon.  
  
***

It was the first of the year and Steve noticed Bucky growing quieter and more withdrawn. They’d had an incredible first Christmas together. They promised each other only 3 presents and had gone shopping before and after the wedding. They bought gifts for their friends and had wanted to host Christmas dinner but they were worried Bucky would go into heat and then people would not be able to come. 

Steve found Bucky curled up in a blanket on the couch, just staring off into space after work one night the week before Christmas. He was a little alarmed because it was after midnight and he was only home early because Sam knew he was worried about Bucky, so he got into the habit of closing the bar for Steve and sending him home.

“You alright, Sweetheart?”

Bucky just sighed and nodded his head. Steve sat down next to him and Bucky slumped over into him. Steve lifted his arm to wrap it around Bucky, saying, “ That’s not a very convincing okay.”

Bucky sighed again. Steve held him a little tighter.

“It’s coming, Buck. We just gotta be patient.”

“He said within a month.”

“We knew it was just an estimate, though,” Steve soothed his hand up and down Bucky’s arm, kissing his temple.

“We thought by Christmas we’d be pregnant.”

“Well, we’ll make it our new year’s resolution instead, right, Buck?”

Bucky sighed and nodded again. “I”m just worried because I don’t even feel like I have any signs I’m even coming close.” 

“I know, Bucky...we’ll get there soon. It’s alright.”

They ended up hosting dinner after all because with no preheat symptoms, Bucky felt like he could and Steve, ever the sweet alpha, wanted Bucky to stay busy and not worry. 

Bucky was in his glory entertaining at the cabin and Steve had gotten him a Vermont Country Store tablecloth for Christmas and they used it for dinner that afternoon. There were matching napkins and it was a bright Christmas green, made of woven fabric.The same Thanksgiving crew came and they even used one section of the big wedding table for dinner, stretching all across the living room into the kitchen area of the cabin. 

Bucky made a standing rib roast and the turkey he’d won from the shoot way back at Thanksgiving. There were mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, tons of casserole side dishes and pie, lots of pie. Bucky had even made several different kinds of cookies. After exchanging gifts by the fireplace and eating homemade cinnamon buns for breakfast with coffee, they showered and started preparation for the elaborate dinner. May and Peter had come early to help Bucky and Steve.

Peter and Steve did all the setting up and May and Bucky most of the cooking. It was a nice day spent with friends and a fabulous dinner. It was one of the loveliest Christmases Bucky could remember. That’s why it was so hard when even after Christmas nothing happened. 

New Year’s Eve came and the ball dropped. They’d all gathered at Tony and Pepper’s again. Bucky thought the only reason he had gotten through the night was because when the clock struck midnight, he got to kiss Steve and it was real and sincere and not for show, for anyone’s buddies or social media. Bucky was not on display, he was loved and cherished...he just wasn’t pregnant or even in heat. He was trying to enjoy the moment when out of the corner of his eye, he saw Natasha and Doc kissing, like really going at each other and he nearly died!

“Steve! Holy shit look at Nat and Doc!” he cried out loud.

“Oh, wow, they must have made up! This is great. Happy New Year!” Steve shouted back, never letting go of Bucky around the waist. 

Bucky was confused. “Made up? Were they dating?”

“Buck, Sweetheart, they’re married mates, like us, remember?”

“What the actual fuck are you talking about, Steve?” Bucky asked, completely shocked by the words his mate had uttered. “Why would I remember something I never knew.?”

“I never told you because I assumed you knew.” then he began to laugh. “Hold up, hold up everyone.” 

Everyone looked over at Steve and said, “Have any of you ever told Bucky about Nat and Doc?”

Heads shook and people began to argue back and forth with shouts of _I thought you had told him!_ The whole thing was even more comical with all of the party hats askew from the champagne and cheering. 

“I can’t believe you assholes never told me that. It was an important thing for me to know. It would have made a lot more sense for me when I first got here.” Bucky scolded.

“Oh don’t get your undies in a knot, Bruce and I have been married for years,” Natasha laughed.

“Yeah, but you’ve also been mad at me for years and it took their wedding to fix it,” Bruce said pointing at Steve and Bucky, whose jaw was still on the floor.

“What the hell, I am so confused.” Bucky felt like he was in the twilight zone. 

Tony came forward with a sparkle in his eye. He was in his element as clearly this was _legal_ gossip. He began to tell their story. “You see, Natasha and Bruce, mated and married about ten years ago. Then about five years ago, Natasha, who was in the reserves at the time, was away for two weeks. Bruce got a call from Doctors Without Borders and left to go deliver babies in India. He tried to call, but Natasha’s phone had gotten lost. He thought she would get the messages but obviously she didn’t.”

“You left your omega without contact first?” Bucky looked at Bruce with disbelief.

“Omega?” Natasha questioned. “What makes you think I’m an omega?” 

“Oh my God this just gets better,” Bucky declared, smacking his hand to his forehead as he began to find the whole situation a comedy of errors. “You smelled like an omega when I met you, just not very sweet.”

“Some nose you’ve got, Bucky,” Bruce teased. “Hot headed alpha-alpha couple, combined with the fact that I was a stupid idiot and thought she was pissed at me so I stopped calling. I came home six months later and she’d moved out. We’ve been separated since then.”

“Yeah, then this sap starts crying at your wedding and then he tells me how sorry he is, how much he loves me and misses me, and bingo, here we are…” Natasha said dryly.

“Tolerating each other again,” Bruce finished. 

“Bullshit, you love me you big idiot.” 

“I do, baby, I do.” Bruce crooned to Natasha. 

“And not one of you thought that would be a story I’d wanna hear?” Bucky looked around the room incredulously. 

“Pepper said Steve probably told you or I would have,” Tony said to avoid any blame. 

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “I honestly thought you knew. I figured May or even Bruce himself would have told you.”

They all had a good laugh, and they were truly happy for Bruce and Natasha. She had even moved back in above the offices with Bruce over the holidays. That seemed to bring the evening to a close and everyone helped Tony and Pepper clean up before heading home.

***

Steve woke alone, in the dark, but heard soft noises...soft unhappy noises, and he followed them to the living room. He found Bucky wrapped in one of his favorite blankets and leaning against one of the windows, staring up at the bright round moon. Steve knew the noise was Bucky softly crying, but not the kind of crying that is naturally quiet. No, this was his omega stifling his tears so much to keep them hidden that he literally didn’t hear Steve approach and jumped when Steve reached out to gently touch him.

“Fuck, Steve. You scared me,” He said angrily between sobs. 

Steve’ face dropped into a look of sorrow and he apologized profusely. “Sorry, Buck. I didn’t mean to. You weren't in bed and I heard you. I wasn’t sneaking, I swear, Buck.”

“I didn’t say you were,” he hiccuped. 

“Buck, Sweetheart, why are you out here crying?” he asked gently coming up behind Bucky who had face the window again. 

“Full moon.”

Steve didn’t know what Bucky meant. “What, about it, Buck?”

“When we came home from Burlington, it was a full moon a few days later. M...m...means it’s been longer than a month now,” Bucky said, hiding his face in the blanket. 

Bucky was really broken up and Steve could hardly stand it. He turned him around in his arms and held him tightly. “Don’t have to hide from me, it’s okay.”

“M’letting you down, letting us down,” Bucky sobbed into Steve’s neck. Wretched, hard sobs from a broken heart, the worst kind, the kind he never wanted to hear again from Bucky.

“No, Buck, no...I know it’s hard, but it’s still early. You can’t get back to what you were before in such a short time. You are absolutely not letting anyone down.”

“I’m so worried, Steve...so worried,” he continued to cry. Steve used part of the blanket to wipe his runny nose. He just stood there with Bucky in his arms, rocking them back and forth, soothing anyway he could think of to help Bucky relax. 

When Bucky had cried himself out and the sun was coming up, thank God it was a holiday, he turned to Steve and said, “I think we need to go see Everett Ross again.”

Then Steve knew something was really wrong, that Bucky must really think something was wrong.

***

“You’re sure it’s not been too long?” Bucky asked as he and Steve sat at the table in the cabin with the phone on speaker between them. 

Everett Ross’ tinny voice came from the phone. “Absolutely not, Bucky. I said it was possible within a month but I never meant it was a certainty. I should have been more careful with my words.”

“As long as Bucky knows now, that’s what counts,” Steve said.

“Bucky as long as you still produce slick and feel well, you're okay. Anticipating the first heat is very hard, I’m sure. You’d feel a drop in hormones now that you’re accustomed to them again. Think about what you tell your patients and tell yourself that,” Everett encouraged.

“You’re right, Dr. Ross, that’s very good advice. It’s just easier said than done,” Bucky sighed. Steve rubbed his back in big circles and placed a kiss to Bucky’s temple.

“It most certainly is, Bucky, but you’re doing very well. Hey, let me ask one more thing? How much are you still running?” Everett asked with a curious tone, as if contemplating while waiting for an answer.

“Every morning, why do you ask?” Bucky supplied his answer quickly.

“Well, I am just thinking, you’re pretty fit, and your BMI was pretty low. It wasn’t dangerous or anything, but I sometimes tell my fit patients to back off their routines a bit for a few weeks to see if it’s a body fat issue. Sometimes your body misreads the fitness as too lean a time.”

Steve looked at Bucky hopefully. “It can’t hurt, huh, Buck?”

“No, I guess it can’t. Like how much?” Bucky asked with a shrug.

“Try running every other day for two weeks and don’t compensate on the running days with more miles. Just see what it does for you.”

“Okay, I’ll try it,” Bucky agreed and then Steve really knew Bucky was desperate to go into his heat. Enough that he would give up half of his runs! 

“Alright, then, keep me posted. I want to know when you go into heat. You’ve got the charts and things to keep track of what happens. I doubt it will be much longer, Bucky,” Everett reassured one more time. 

“Thanks for your time, Dr. Ross, sorry to be a bother,” Bucky replied. 

“Never a bother, Bucky. I gave you my cell for a reason.”

“Thank you so much for helping him know he is on the right track, Dr. Ross,” Steve added. 

“You guys are a great couple and I am happy to help. I can’t wait to track your progress. Try to relax, which is a ridiculous thing for me to say. Bye now.”

Bucky let out a huge sigh and Steve just squeezed his shoulder. “You okay, Sweetheart?” 

Bucky nodded and wiped away some tears. “Fine, m’fine. Just killing me to wait.”

“I know, Buck, I know.” Steve said as he stood and walked behind Bucky to give him a hug and a kiss. He whispered in his ear, “You’ll get there soon. Hang in there, my sweet Bucky.”

***

Two weeks later, Bucky was at the hospital in Clear Water, delivering a baby when he began to feel twinges in his lower back. Nothing major, just a bit off. At first he thought it was just muscle strain from the way he was holding his position when he was rubbing the patient’s back. He would occasionally stretch and try to work out the knot, but he never quite got to the right spot. 

After the baby and the mom were settled and he was driving home, he had the heated seats on in Steve’s truck, which helped immensely. It was just dinner time and Steve had made spaghetti and meatballs. Bucky ate his weight in pasta, having been with the young omega since the early hours of the morning without eating. He wasn’t at all surprised to have a belly ache after dinner. 

He did not, however, expect to wake up in the night crampy and vomiting. 

By the time he finished the first bout, he could feel Steve quietly behind him. The hand on the small of his back, a welcome presence as his stomach geared up to blow again. The second hand joined with a firm supportive grip on his metal arm as he began to empty his stomach once more, Bucky fondly thinking of how Steve never hesitated to treat that arm like it was flesh, knowing regardless of its makeup, it was Bucky and that Bucky would feel Steve’s unspoken comfort through his grasp of it. 

“Alright?” was all Steve asked.

Bucky nodded, knowing it would take one more round, but feeling so much better already. Steve let go and Bucky heard him pad over to the linen closet and then the water was running. Steve gently pulled all of Bucky’s hair back into a loose ponytail and slipped a hair tie in place. He patted and rubbed circles, waiting patiently. Every day with Steve brought them closer and Bucky could feel Steve sensing and anticipating his needs. The cool cloth on the back of his neck just at the right time, the silent support, just being there and not having to fill the space with action and sound. God, Steve just got Bucky, always knew what would help or hinder. 

Bucky whimpered a little and reached back for Steve as the feeling built and Steve took his hand and whispered gently, “Right here, Buck…’m right here, sweetheart.”

Bucky eventually vomited a final time and Steve helped him to his feet and wiped his face. Bucky blew his nose and almost barfed again, but managed to get rid of everything before brushing his teeth. He felt so much better after emptying his stomach. It’s when he put two and two together, the back pain and the dinner that didn’t digest well...things were slowing down, and yet gearing up at the same time. 

They stood together in front of the sink trying to figure out what was going on. 

“You sick, Buck? Or just overtired from work?” Steve asked with concern in his face, the forehead wrinkle that appeared when he was worried was right there. 

“I think it just sat wrong, but I kinda thought I had a back ache at work earlier. Now I’m feeling crampy in my belly, but not sick crampy…”

“What kind of crampy, then?”

“I don’t want to jinx myself, but the kind of crampy that comes before a certain time... I kind of remember this from my teenage years. Achy real low,” he said rubbing his belly low between his hip bones. 

Steve’s face flashed a brilliant smile before he reigned it in and followed Bucky’s emotional lead. Of course he offered to help. 

“Can I do anything for you?” he asked sweetly, pulling Bucky in for a full, warm whole body hug.

Bucky thought about it a minute and decided that this experience was going to be different, that Steve meant it when he asked and Bucky was going to let his alpha help. Bucky deserved the help and Steve, who clearly wanted to, deserved to get to help Bucky through this. They were a couple, a team...mates...and good mates supported and loved each other. 

Smiling at that thought, Bucky looked up at Steve and answered, “Yeah, you can. I’d love some peppermint tea and one of the corn bags heated in the microwave.” 

If Steve’s face could have softened any more at that moment it did, and he said, “I can do that, Buck.”

“Bring it to me in bed?”

“Sure thing and then we can snuggle a while, okay?”

“Sounds, great, Steve.”

Steve kissed Bucky on the mouth, despite his recent puking and then ushered him towards the bedroom, “Go get comfy and I’ll be right in with the corn bag and tea.”

Bucky climbed back under the covers and waited with the satisfaction that Steve was eager to be part of what was to come. It was no guarantee that it was immediate, but it was a step in the right direction and Bucky sighed in relief. 

They spent the rest of the night snuggled together in bed. They figured out that if Steve spooned Bucky, his natural alpha heat soothed Bucky’s back and the corn bag, soothed his belly. Steve reheated the bag a couple of times before they finally dozed off. 

***

Steve puttered around the kitchen, high on life, after the simple request for a mug of tea and a heat pack from Bucky. God he was such a sap for his omega, but he didn’t care. Helping Bucky in any capacity made his alpha soul sing from somewhere deep within. He brought the tea and corn bag to Bucky and doted on him, listening and adjusting as Bucky decided which position felt the best. He finally let himself sleep when he was sure Bucky was out cold. He could feel the relief ooze from Bucky and smell the hint of contentment as the omega slept in his arms. It was the most fulfilled Steve had felt in a while, being able to ease some of Bucky’s discomfort. He felt hopeful as he nodded off. 

He woke, feeling too warm and _damp._ It was an odd feeling as he roused and then a wall of the sweetest scent he had ever smelled hit him. He felt trembling and he pushed up onto his elbow, still sleep confused. Glancing down to the source of the smell, he saw Bucky, hair drenched with sweat, quaking, muscles clenched as if in pain. 

“Buck?” he asked softly, trying to avoid startling him.

Bucky’s eyes opened briefly, then shut tight and he groaned, “Don’t feel good, Stevie.”

Steve was fully awake now and his senses sharp. Another wave of the incredible scent hit his nose and he knew what was happening. 

Bucky was in heat. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, it has been a while since I have written a good heat...should be done and posted this weekend...any thoughts are welcome, suggestions as well...
> 
> Is anyone still with me??


	21. You Bring Me Fever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the wait on this one. I'm very romantic and writing heats takes a lot of work because of that. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy this one...you've certainly earned it...
> 
> PS I did not edit this much at all in a hurry to post it. If it's bad, let me know.
> 
> Also, against my better judgment, I watched Married at First Sight, and I thought...You know what I am going to say next, right...?

Steve sat up immediately and reached for Bucky, instinctively wanting to comfort him, but Bucky did something Steve did not expect...

_ He flinched. _

Steve yanked his hands back as if he’d touched a hot stove. His heart crumbled. Steve would never hurt, Bucky and yet he clearly recoiled from Steve’s touch.

Steve put his hands up to show he meant no harm to him. “Hey, Bucky, it’s okay, I just wanted to help you.”

Bucky shook like a leaf and if he looked like he felt, Steve was sure he felt awful. He looked up at Steve with his face full of pain and he apologized. “Sorry, I know, just feel bad, ‘m not ready yet.”

It took Steve a minute to process what Bucky meant and then it hit him. Bucky must have thought Steve was just going to grab him and take him. Steve fought his emotions, the rush of all consuming sadness that quickly changed to anger. He couldn’t imagine what had happened to Bucky in those medical heats he’d had with his first husband to make Bucky think that Steve would just force himself on the sweet omega, but he vowed he would let him know it would be different this time. Fearing Bucky would soon smell his anger and misinterpret it, he set his jaw and swallowed his tears for his Bucky.

“Buck, Sweetheart, I was just gonna hold you and see what you needed. That’s all. Why don’t we start like we learned in class and evaluate where we are. What are you feeling right now, huh, Sweetheart?”

“Feel hot, little sick...everything hurts.”

“Well,” Steve said camly, still fighting the panic within him, “Sounds like you’re not ready for much of anything but maybe a cool cloth on your forehead and a drink. How’s that sound?”

Bucky nodded, eyes closed again. Steve got off the bed carefully and went to the kitchen, grabbing his phone off the bedside table. He found a clean dish towel and wet it with cold water, wringing it out well and then filled a travel coffee mug with ice water, thinking Bucky could drink without spilling. He swiped open his phone and had his finger over Doc’s number when he stopped himself. 

“Damn it, Steve...give yourself a chance to help him first. You know him, you took a class, man up,” He whisper shouted at himself in the kitchen, alone. He was just so fucking nervous. He needed to be enough for Bucky. 

He thought through the steps: assess, reflect, plan, implement. They had learned those in their mating class. They applied to many aspects of their new life together, but now Steve needed to apply them to Bucky’s heat. First, he needed to help Bucky assess his own situation further than how he felt. He needed Bucky to tell him what he needed and where he was in the process of going into heat. He took the cold cloth and drink back to the bedroom and to Bucky.

Bucky smelled delightful in oh so many ways, but not in the one that mattered the most. Bucky did not yet smell aroused. Steve had not expected Bucky to feel only sick, he expected him to feel needy and like he wanted to be knotted. Steve had a love hate relationship with new territory. On one hand, he loved every adventure his new life with Bucky offered. On the other it meant charting those new territories and Bucky wasn’t always easy to chart. 

Still, Bucky was in heat. This was a good thing... _ a great thing! _

Steve knew Bucky, knew what he needed most times, he just needed to figure it out now. He took a good guess and peeled the bedding off his very sweaty omega and lifted him, carefully, carrying him to the couch in the living room. Bucky melded into Steve’s body and he knew he had made the correct decision. He sat with Bucky on his lap, cradled in his arms. The fever radiated from Bucky, his skin hot to the touch, no wonder he hurt. 

Fragrant slick soaked through Bucky’s sleep pants into Steve’s and he fought the compulsion to seek the delicious nectar by attempting to breathe only through his mouth. It helped little, but it was a fight he would have lost had Bucky not looked so pasty and vulnerable. 

Steve folded the cold cloth and wiped Bucky’s face, smoothing his hair back and then wiping down his neck and wrapping the cloth around the back of his neck to ease the fever that Steve could feel even at a distance. 

“There you go, Buck, that’s better, all that hair out of your face.” He handed him the mug and said, “Here’s some water, try to drink a little.” 

Bucky took the mug in his shaky hand and sipped it for a few minutes. His eyes were glazed and he looked so feverish Steve was almost frightened. He was about to say something about cooling him down when Bucky looked up at him through febrile eyes and did his best to smile.

“I’m in heat, Steve...we made it.” 

“You are, Sweetheart...we did, I knew we would…”

Bucky leaned his fiery head into Steve’s neck and whispered, “Can I...I just need to…” his voice broke as he spoke and Steve held him tight, knowing what he was asking.

“Okay, Buck, I gotcha,” Steve said, attempting to soothe Bucky with a little rocking motion.

Bucky began to cry softly, “I’m okay, ‘m okay, ‘m okay…”

God, Steve’s heart broke. He couldn’t tell if Bucky was trying to convince himself that he was alright at this moment or celebrating the fact that he had made it to his heat, but Steve’s first instinct was to reinforce Bucky’s words 

“You  _ are  _ okay, you are, you’re just fine, let go. You did it, Buck, I’m so proud of you.”

Bucky cried a little longer, then hiccupped a bit after that, Steve holding him and lending support all the while. Soon Steve sensed a change in Bucky and he seemed to settle into the situation and come to grips with what was happening in his body.

“Think I need a shower, maybe cool off, definitely get rid of the sweat, this is kinda gross.”

“Sometimes sweaty is wonderful, Buck, but I imagine it doesn’t feel so good right now, and I’m kinda sweaty myself. How about I get us both showered and then change the sheets on the bed so we can snuggle for a bit?”

“Sounds, nice, but I feel the itch starting already, honey. Might dirty up those sheets soon…” Bucky said with a little purr at the end. 

Relief flooded through Steve’s veins as Bucky was starting to feel the need. It was starting to sound more like what they had learned in class. Jesus, Steve was such a nerd. His omega was in heat and Steve was practically reviewing his notes, which probably was not a bad idea considering Steve had never done this before. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

Steve was about to help an omega, his omega, his  _ Bucky  _ through a heat for the first time ever...it was a lot to think about and he felt a momentary panic lock his joints. Luckily, Bucky was still lucid.

“You’re overthinking it, Honey...I’m already feeling much better and we just have to fuck a lot...simple stuff.”

Steve groaned at Bucky’s words, “Buck, come on, you’re killing me here…”

“Honey, if you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it,” Bucky said, now almost laughing despite his current condition. 

“Thanks, teen mom!” Steve chided. Then he held Bucky tight and told him, “I love you so much, my sweet Bucky…”

“You’re gonna make me start bawling again...Help me to the shower?”

Steve got them both to the bathroom, starting the shower and helping Bucky with his sleep pants and t shirt. He barely resisted the urge to nestle his face into Bucky’s slick soaked pants for a healthy sniff. He stripped his own clothes off and they stepped into the luke warm water, a little chilly for Steve, but just right for Bucky if the sounds he made were any indication. 

Steve washed Bucky’s hair as he hung onto Steve to keep his balance, though Steve could feel Bucky gaining strength as the water cooled his body. He could also feel himself half hard, touching Bucky always did that for him. He was a little embarrassed, knowing Bucky wasn’t interested yet, but he couldn’t help it so he just pretended it wasn’t happening. 

Bucky, however, the longer they were under the spray of the water, began to show further signs of  _ interest  _ in Steve and what he had to offer to help Bucky with his heat. If Steve was flying at half mast, Bucky was fully on display. He whimpered a little as Steve finished rinsing them both clean of any remaining suds and Steve could feel Bucky’s erection bump his hip now and again. 

To stave off the fear of Steve engaging Bucky in anything he wasn’t ready for, Steve turned Bucky so he was perpendicular to him. Bucky’s shoulder in Steve’s chest gave the alpha access to kiss Bucky if he wanted to, and left Bucky in control of his contact with Steve’s body. 

“Feelin’ better?” Steve asked and Bucky nodded. He was. How could he not be feeling better? He was married and mated to a wonderful partner and was in a naturally occurring heat. It was what he had dreamed of when he was younger, something he thought was out of his grasp with Brock and was now happening with Steve. Steve, who had even angled their bodies so his alpa cock would not be in a position that would make Bucky uncomfortable. 

“I am, Honey, thank you for being so sweet to me,” Bucky answered. “I’m sorry, I jumped earlier.” 

“No apology needed. You know you’ll always be in control...even if you might feel a little nervous...even when we get in the thick of it all, Buck.” 

Steve squeezed Bucky’s shoulders and Bucky just rested his head in the crook of Steve’s neck. He breathed in the faint scent of his alpha, he could tell Steve was holding back and giving Bucky plenty of space to get comfortable. It was working, Bucky was still feverish, but feeling less sick and that was letting the itch beneath his skin come to the surface.

“It’s different this time, I know it is...but some of the things that happened before are programmed into me...it’s like I fall back to that, forgetting where I am now.”

“I know you do, Buck, but we’ve talked about what you want to happen, I won’t forget that and I’ll take good care of you, I promise.” 

Bucky knew Steve meant it and the love he felt in Steve’s words seemed to help the heat bloom within him. He leaned his face up for a kiss and he pulled Steve’s face close, kissing him deeply. He felt Steve’s hand cup his face and then slide down his neck, back to his shoulder. He could feel Steve’ getting harder against his hip. His own cock was rock hard and beginning to ache. 

They continued to kiss, languidly, enjoying each meeting of lips, each touch of their tongues. Steve’s fingers began to stroke across Bucky’s skin, lighting it even further on fire. He skimmed the scars around Bucky’s prosthetic arm, his collarbones to up behind his ear, then down toward his firm, chiseled chest. When Steve’s thumb grazed Bucky’s nipple, he gasped. Steve smiled at the sound and kept up the ministrations to the hardening nub, stroking it and softly pinching. 

Following Bucky’s reaction, Steve began to kiss his way down Bucky’s neck, clearly mapping his way to where his fingers were doing their good work. 

“Oh please, oh please, Steve…” he heard himself and Steve’s lips and tongue made their journey. 

“Comin’ Babe, almost there…” Steve hushed without missing a single beat. 

“Jesus!” Bucky’s back arched when Steve finally hit his mark and Bucky's metal hand cradled Steve’s head naturally to keep him right where he wanted his mouth to stay. Bucky’s right arm snaked around Steve’s waist to hold himself upright. Steve’s arm was still clamped firmly around his shoulders and despite him having to be bent over to kiss Bucky’s chest, he heard him say between kisses.

“I got you, Buck. Won’t let you fall. What d’you need?”

Bucky urged Steve’s mouth to continue, keening out, “Suck, please suck.” He could feel Steve’s ironclad grip on his hip and the occasional bob of his cock hitting Steve’s arm. He moved Steve’s hand from his hip, pushing it lower and was pleased when Steve took the hint. 

Steve took charge once Bucky made his needs and desires known, turning them so the water ran down their backs and not running in their faces. His mouth moved from nipple to nipple, licking and kissing, then sucking when Bucky nearly begged him. When Bucky encouraged his hand toward his cock, Steve’s inner alpha glowed with pride at the possibility of satisfying his omega. 

His fist was the perfect circle when it found the head of Bucky’s hard cock. Bucky cried out and Steve lifted his head to crash their mouths together, but also to do a quick check on his omega before heading back to refocus his energy on Bucky’s sweet nipples.

He could do this all day. 

Bucky sounded both pleased and overwhelmed in the best way. Steve stroked his cock firmly, stopping only long enough to reach back for a little slick from between Bucky’s thighs to ease the way of bringing him off. It was possibly the sexiest Steve had felt in his life, pleasing his omega. With the slick, it didn’t take long for Bucky to sound close and Steve did not ease up at all. 

“Steve...Honey...fuck, please...need it…” 

Steve held his hips still, despite his urge to find relief for his own aching cock by rubbing against Bucky. He had to let go somewhere and his mouth lost the battle. “You like those kisses, Buck, like your alpha sucking your sweet nipples?” 

“Please, yes,” Bucky groaned.

“My hand feel good on your cock, you gonna come for me soon, sweet omega?”

That was all it took and Bucky was spilling over Steve’s hand and arching his back, calling out, “ _ Steve! _ ”

Steve eased Bucky through his orgasm, holding him closely so he would stay on his feet. He rinsed them off one more time, peppering the panting omega with kisses before turning off the water and helping Bucky out of the shower. He ignored his own erection, standing behind Bucky as he steadied him and began to dry him with a towel. 

Still woozy from his release, Bucky said, “Thanks, Honey...I needed that.”

“I’m glad, Buck, but no need to thank me. Feeling a little better?”

“Feel great.” 

“Good, lets get dry and dressed and then I’ll make some breakfast, how’s that sound?”

“Yes, perfect,” Bucky answered, voice breathy, not helping Steve’s hardness at all. He began to think about caring for Bucky and all the times he would need to knot him and soon his desire was flagging ever so slightly. He wanted to be ready when Bucky would really need him. 

He settled a dressed Bucky on the couch to rest while he made a pot of oatmeal for them. He threw cranberries and nuts, brown sugar and some cinnamon in it before dishing it up and popping a coffee pod in the keurig. He made Bucky some herbal tea, knowing caffeine would not be helpful for staying hydrated during his heat. 

They ate their oatmeal and made notes in the heat journal as they waited to see how Bucky’s body would react to his progressing heat. They watched a little netflix while resting and made it a few hours when Bucky got pretty friendly and began to fill the room with the scent of lavender and something more, lemon maybe… like lemon cake or cookies. 

“I think it’s time to go back to bed.”

“Oh shit, I never changed the sheets,” Steve said, jumping up from the couch.

“Don’t bother, if I’m right, you’ll need to change them again real soon.” 

Steve felt his cheeks redden even though they were married mates...alone in their own home…

“Don't get bashful on me, Stevie...I need my alpha…”

Steve offered Bucky a hand up and said, “You’ll always have me when you need me, Bucky.”

“I’m learning that’s the truth, Steve. Heard it before, but only ever believed it from you,” he replied softly, wrapping his arms around Steve and feeling the alpha’s arms tighten around him. 

Bucky nosed at Steve’s scent gland in his neck and then inhaled deeply, feeling the slick flow from him in response. He wasn’t exactly embarrassed, but it was the first time Steve was going to see him like this, constantly leaking and potentially whining with need. Bucky would call it apprehensive. Yeah, just awkward for the first time. Now, though, he was really starting to feel horny. 

“Bucky, you smell so good. Your scent in heat is just...yummy,” Steve said. It broke up the tense mood and Bucky was grateful.

“C’mon, alpha, let’s go make a baby,” Bucky said, threading their hands together and leading the way to the bedroom. He picked his pajama pants out of his drenched butt crack halfway there. 

“Wow, romantic, Buck,” Steve chuckled. 

“Hey, an omega’s got to do what an omega’s got to do,” Bucky snarked back.

In the bedroom, Bucky stripped quickly and then helped Steve rid himself of the useless clothing. “Now, Stevie, this isn’t about making love, and I know you’re a sweet alpha, but this is about quick and dirty scratching an itch, understand?”

Steve looked at Bucky like he was asking him to do the impossible and Bucky added, “It’ll be okay, Honey, just think of it as a series of quickies, like lunchtime sex.” 

“Alright, Bucky. Just tell me what you need.” They were both standing by the unmade bed, cocks hard, looking at each other. 

“I need you to come here and make me feel good, that’s all.”

“That I can do, Sweetheart, that I can do.”

Bucky laid back on the mussed sheets and waved for Steve to join him. “This’ll be the last time for a couple of days that I won’t be a bit out of sorts, so I’m telling you what I want now. We’ve talked about it before, but I just want to reassure you. I want this,” he stroked Steve’s cock, “in me when I ask for it. I’ll probably start presenting soon, it’s okay, it’s probably easier that way as the heat goes on. You love me Steve and I love you, this is our first chance to make a family. I trust you implicitly. Let's just try to enjoy it, alright?”

“Buck, it makes me so happy that you trust me with this, with your body. I’ll take good care of you...give you what you want or need whenever I can.” 

“Come on baby, fuck me now, I need it…” Bucky said, eyes glazing with fever again and they were off. 

Steve was nervous and so honored that Bucky would just give over to him as the fever took him again. It was a tremendous responsibility and Steve took it very seriously. Then Bucky called him baby, something he never did and the scent coming from his omega could only be ignored for so long...Steve nestled between Bucky’s legs and Jesus was Bucky hot and wet. 

He pulled one of Bucky’s knees up and around his waist and kissing Bucky soundly he sank home into him. Bucky began to moan with each thrust and Steve answered between kisses, as their bodies met thrust for thrust. Bucky’s hands drifted to Steve’s ass and he felt as his omega grabbed his cheeks and urged him to thrust harder and faster. 

“Steve, alpha, more...please…”

“Gotcha, Buck. hang on...how’s that. Wrap your legs around me, Sweetheart.”

The sounds Bucky made, drove Steve to fuck harder, to find the spot that Bucky needed touched and soon they were both coming and Steve drove his knot home into Bucky. 

“Oh Fuck, Steve, fuck,  _ yes!”  _ he cried out as Steve’s knot locked into place. Steve, never been with an omega in heat, was not expecting the sensation of Bucky’s channel milking him of come. It was something Steve would never forget, it perpetuated his orgasm to the point that he lost all ability to speak. He groaned and grunted through it until Bucky’s body must have sensed it was okay to stop. 

“Christ on a cracker, Bucky, I was worried about you during your heat. Shit, now I think I might not make it!” Steve’s own voice shocked him, totally caught off guard by what had happened.

“Weren’t ready for that were you, Stevie?” Bucky snickered. “It’s quite an experience, huh?”

Steve just panted and tried to keep himself from leaning his full weight on Bucky.

“Don’t fight it, Stevie, ‘m tired, let’s sleep for a while,” Bucky said, encouraging Steve to lay on top of him. “Need you close.” 

Steve gave in and flopped onto Bucky with a moan. “Just pinch me if I’m too heavy, kay, Buck?”

He didn’t even remember dozing off. 

***

Bucky woke to a mess between his cheeks and crusty come on his belly but that was nothing compared to the burning deep in his belly for Steve’s knot. He wouldn’t make it through cleaning up, he needed Steve now, but his alpha was still sound asleep. From the light coming through the window, it was probably only mid morning, not long since their first round, but Bucky was desperate already. 

“Alpha,” he called to Steve who startled awake, sleep blind, but searching for Bucky.

“Here, Buck, right here,” Steve’s voice was so low and gravelly, slick literally streamed from Bucky who turned onto his belly, spread his legs and raised his hips slightly in offer. 

“Need you Steve,” Bucky whined as he wiggled his hips, knowing the moment Steve saw what he was being offered if the sharp intake of breath was any indication.

“Is all that sweet lavender goodness for me, Buck? You want me to clean you up a bit, sorry I didn’t do it earlier, you wore your alpha out, Sweetheart.”

Steve heard the words he spoke at the same time Bucky heard them, they came from somewhere primal, not Steve’s everyday brain and he was actually rather surprised by them. He did feel like a horrendous alpha that Bucky woke dirty...that would not happen again on Steve’s watch for sure. Bucky deserved the best care in the world and Steve would see that he got it, but for now, Bucky had other plans. 

“Get over here and fuck me and then you can clean up whatever you want, I need you to make it better...I need you to help me make a baby...please...Steve come on,” Bucky whined and Steve moved to do his omega’s bidding. 

“Fuck, Bucky…” Steve said as he knelt between Bucky’s legs and slipped two fingers into his hot opening to be sure he was okay before he slipped his cock in. “So ready for me, huh?”

Bucky raised his hips off the bed, cheeks parting a little and Steve slid himself home, Bucky wailing in the best of ways in response.

“There you go, Sweetheart, you want your alpha, I’m here for you.  _ Jesus _ , Buck you feel so fucking good…” Steve pumped his hips, while hanging onto Bucky’s and watching lustfully as the muscles in Bucky’s back rippled with each roll of his hips. Bucky was so beautiful, Steve was so lucky. 

It didn’t take long, Bucky’s hips guiding the pace and Steve matching him, soon it was a frenzied pounding, grunts from both men filling the room. 

“Now, Steve, now...please,” Bucky begged and Steve just needed a few more thrusts to fully form his knot to lock it in place and groan out his orgasm as Bucky came and clenched around him, body undulating around Steve’s cock and draining him once more. 

Steve gently draped his body over Bucky’s as Bucky grabbed Steve’s arm and brought it close, clinging to him. Clearly, Bucky liked to be close and warm in the afterglow of the knotting, more so than usual. Steve knew better this time, allowing himself to relax but not sleep, not until he had taken care of Bucky. 

Bucky was a messy 175 pounds of sound asleep omega, and Steve had his work cut out for him to get the bed and the omega cleaned up. He brushed Bucky’s hair and put a braid in it as best he could, to keep it out of the way. Then he got a clean bucket filled with warm water, he knew a proverbial wash basin would not cut it with this mess, and he began to bathe Bucky. Starting with the cleaner parts made sense, washing his face first and then worked his way to the messier areas. He was sure to be gentle so Bucky would not get sore, his pink rim already a bit puffy. 

Steve and Bucky had prepared for this and Bucky had a basket of homeopathic creams and topical helpers should they need them. For now, Steve just wiped the area free of extra bodily fluids and let the slick ooze out a little to keep the area from getting irritated. 

Once he had Bucky clean, he changed the sheets the way he had seen the nurses do it when Bucky was in the hospital and in bed. They had prepared for this as well, buying a waterproof mattress pad that zipped into place and could be wiped down easily. The hardest part of the whole cleanup was that Bucky slept soundly through it and was just plain dead weight. Steve laughed at himself at times, 175 was not a lot to lift for him in a concise set of weights on a barbell, but a floppy Bucky was a whole different story. He didn’t bother to dress Bucky, just covered him with clean sheets and a blanket. 

With Bucky all set, Steve shot out texts to Becca, Doc, Dr. Ross, and May, letting them know what was going on. Most wished them well, Dr. Ross and Doc wanting check ins an updates with any concerns. Steve jumped into the shower and dressed in comfortable sleep clothes before checking out the fridge and then making a short list of items they might need. He texted Sam letting him know and then he called Janet at the general store to get the things on the list. She would have someone drop them off. 

Sam texted back with a request for meals for dinner, he would make them something and drop it off each day before the dinner rush hit. He was a great friend and did a great job with the bar, he told Steve not to worry about a thing but surviving Bucky. They had a laugh but Sam was serious.

**Sam: Take care of each other, man. We all got your back. You’re an old man doing this for the first time, you have no idea…**

Steve laughed at the teasing, but he was 45 and had never been in a relationship with this much true intimacy. Even if they did get Bucky pregnant this heat, Steve would be 65 when their kid was 20. Could he even be what a kid needed at that age? A knock at the door brought him out of his head.

He trotted over to find Janet and Scott there with bags of groceries. He let them in to drop the bags.

“We won’t stay, just wanted to be sure you had what you needed. I added a few things free of charge, things I thought Bucky might want, a little fun heat food, if you don’t mind,” Janet smiled as she spoke. 

Steve returned her smile, “Thanks, Bucky’s sound asleep right now, but he’s doing well so far. Thanks for getting him the good stuff, I only thought from my perspective, meat and potatoes, you know.”

“You bet, take care now. We’ll run, and leave you to it,” Janet said like she meant it.

Scott reached out his hand, “Call if you need anything. You guys seem like such a great match. I”m shaking your hand too long…” 

Steve laughed as Janet dragged Scott away, he always seemed sort of stunned around Steve. Sam said it was a man crush. Who knew?

Steve put all the food away quickly and made sandwiches for lunch so he’d be ready for Bucky when he needed him. Janet had sent granola bars, cookies from the store bakery and chocolate, in addition to Steve’s list. Steve would never have thought to do that. It was nice that others wanted to help Bucky have a good experience with his first heat. 

By nightfall, they had gone through two more rounds and Steve got juice and tea into Bucky but no food. His knot was going down, and this time Steve swore he would not let Bucky just drift off to sleep, instead getting him in the tub for a well deserved soak and then out of the bedroom for some dinner. Sam had promised to drop off hamburgers and fries and that was a weakness of Bucky’s, so there was hope. 

His knot finally letting him get up, he ran the tub and then lifted a very ornery and uncooperative Bucky into his arms and then set him down into the warm water. 

“Tired, just wanna sleep,” Bucky whined. 

“I know, Buck, but you need a break and to soak a bit. We’ve managed not to let you get sore or irritated, but we are pushing our luck. That bath is going to help you. Plus you’re eating food. I can tell you are losing weight already and it’s still the first day.” 

“You’re so mean!” Bucky complained when Steve scrubbed his hair and body free of the bodily fluid crusted on him. 

Steve snorted, “I’m fine with being the meanie here if it keeps you healthy, Sweetheart.” Steve knew Bucky was in the post heat orgasm stage and not really aware of his words. Bucky didn’t really think Steve was mean, he just wanted to take the easy way out. 

They were eating dinner, the burgers Sam delivered. They had crispy fried onion rings on them and bbq sauce, they were delicious.

Bucky was finishing his brownie and icecream, sitting on a stool at the kitchen island while Steve cleaned up the dishes. “That was fantastic, I’m glad I didn’t sleep through this, I feel almost human.”

“You’re welcome, even though I’m a meanie,” Steve laughed, throwing the dish towel over his shoulder, crossing his arms and leaning back against the sink. 

“You’re not a mean, Honey. Why would you say that?”

Yikes, Steve realized he stepped in it, he immediately backpedaled. “No reason, just foolin’.”

Bucky swallowed his bite of food and squinted at Steve. _ Oh shit... _

“Did I call you mean, Steve?”

God damn a direct question...now the choice, lie to his Buck, a little white lie, one that wouldn’t hurt anyone except Steve if Bucky found out… or tell Bucky the harmless truth...he was tired and called Steve a meanie. Steve sighed and wiped his hand down his face. Guilty feeling Bucky really pulled at Steve’s heartstrings. 

“You were exhausted, Buck. You wanted to sleep and you were just wanting to snuggle in bed and I put you in the tub. It made you grumpy, I know you didn’t mean it.”

Buck scootched the stool back and padded over to Steve, his face falling more the closer he got. He put himself in Steve’s arms, and Steve wrapped him up tightly, resting his chin on Bucky’s head. Bucky stayed in his arms for a while before pulling his head back to look Steve in the eye.

“Sorry, Steve…” Bucky sniffled, biting his trembling lip. He was trying not to cry, really trying. “I shouldn’t have said that to you after all you’ve done to help me today. I know mean, and it’s not you. You could never be mean to me and I know that.” 

“Bucky, don’t. It was just a gut reaction to being dragged out of your warm bed,” Steve reassured Bucky with a warm chaste kiss on his lips, lips that were still trembling. “Please, Bucky, don’t worry, okay?”

“It’s important to me for  _ you  _ to know that _ I  _ know how good you are to me,” Bucky stated softly, eyes wet with unshed tears. 

Steve leaned in and kissed him soundly, letting his omega know that he was aware of just how much they both meant to each other. He held Bucky tighter and leaned to his bite side to mouth over their bond bite. Bucky purred when Steve did that, they both loved it. It was a little intimate gesture they shared when they needed to feel connected. 

“Thank you, Steve…” it was all that needed to be said, they were on the same page. 

***

The second day of Bucky’s heat brought out a very horny but playful and funny Bucky. Steve chased a giggly Bucky around the cabin, at the omega’s request. 

“Come on, Steve! Don’t you have the chase instinct in you? Try to catch me…” Bucky called out and of course Steve had that instinct, but didn’t want to force it on Bucky. However, given the challenge, Steve indulged Bucky’s request, equally as playfully chasing him and even gently pinning him down to fuck and knot him. 

“Fuck, Steve, that was so good, I bet it took that time for sure,” Bucky had said when they were lying on the living room floor, waiting for the time they were tied together to end. Steve’s heart nearly burst with pride and devotion. He was so happy for them to be enjoying this time of Bucky’s heat. 

He would leave Bucky asleep in bed, cleaned up and go out to take a quick shower or make the next snack for his calorie starved omega. When he would return with the snack, Bucky was gone and Steve would give in and search the cabin to find Bucky somewhere, snickering quietly, trying to hide. Upon discovering him, Steve was often rewarded with Bucky presenting himself, face down, ass up and wiggling, tempting Steve to take his prize. It was as sweet as a heat could get, really. 

By nightfall things took a turn, the fever increasing as it often did according to their class, and Bucky became desperate. Each time Bucky felt a wave of heat flush through him, he cried out for Steve to fuck him. Pain bled through his words and he got an incredibly wild look in his eyes. He said things that the independent Bucky Barnes Rogers that Steve knew would never say during sex. 

“Fuck me hard this time, like you mean it, alpha! Fill me up good with your pup, now. Come on...breed me, Alpha!” 

Steve knew it was the fever talking, and the first time it was good and dirty, turning him on quickly. Each time after that one, Bucky would get feral in a way that just didn’t sit right with Steve and made it hard for him to help Bucky feel sated.. Bucky would present himself, traditionally like he did earlier, only the devilish, fun-loving part of the process was gone.

Steve would shush Bucky and still take him from behind, but he pulled the omega upright, pressing him into his chest and reassuring him that he was okay.

“Alright, Bucky, I’ve got you… easy Buck, it’ll happen…” Steve fought for the right words to soothe his frantic omega. In the end a firm press of fingers to the scent gland, or a firm bite to the mating mark was what it would take to settle him down. 

After midnight, they had fucked several times and Steve was truly exhausted. He knew Bucky was just operating on hormones in a constant cycle of fuck, mate, breed. Bucky was back to being a trembling mess and Steve finally got him cleaned up and on fresh sheets when Bucky crashed. He crashed hard enough that when he was sure Bucky was out, a stressed out Steve called Doc to make sure everything was okay. 

After apologizing for calling in the middle of the night, he had honestly lost all track of time, he told Doc how intense it was getting with Bucky. He knew his face was red the entire time but his alpha instinct just wanted to get Bucky the help he heeded, so he forged through the embarrassment. Doc was comforting about the whole situation. 

“I’m sure Bucky is fine, but you’re not going to rest until you know for sure, so why don’t you call Dr. Ross and put your mind at ease?” Doc offered sincerely. “It’s alright to be worried, it’s hard with a regular heat and the rate Bucky is cycling, you’ve both got to be worn out. Dr. Ross will have more advice, he’s the omega specialist.” 

The call was reassuring and Dr. Ross soothed his fears. 

“It’s a rough heat. We did say that this could happen, it’s just much harder when you see it. Omega’s usually lose themselves at the peak of it, sometimes sound like a person you don’t know, just look for signs that make him your Bucky and focus on those. It might help.”

“Yeah, I’ll try that, I just...I’m worried about him.” 

“I know you are, Steve. You’re a good alpha, a good man.” 

“I don’t think his body can keep up this pace. He’s looking sore already.”

“There may be a point where you can’t knot him and you might have to give him release with manual stimulation. It should be enough at that point. His body has probably absorbed enough of your semen by now. If it gets unbearable, you are at a point where you can scent him to take away some of the fever. ”

Steve was mortified, once again, to hear the reality of the statement, but he needed to be able to help Bucky get through this. It did make him curious.

“Hey Doc, can I ask a question?”

“Sure, Steve.”

“Do you really think Bucky could be pregnant with this heat? I mean is it a guarantee like they say in the books?”

“That's a tricky question. It’s hard for me to answer you because medically, it is rare for an omega to not get pregnant in an unprotected heat. Bucky, though, his medical history is so unique, I don’t want to make a guess and have you be disappointed.”

“Oh,” was all Steve had.

“Let’s just leave it at I am hopeful for you both.”

***

“Steve!” Bucky cried as he writhed on the bed, needing terribly to come. Steve was kneeling between Bucky’s knees, with each leg over one of Steve’s shoulders. He was stroking Bucky’s cock with one hand and carefully fingering his prostate with the other. There was no way Steve could fuck him let alone knot him again, they were both sore and irritated in areas that made that impossible.

“I know, Buck...I know, just come, Sweetheart...let go and come.” Steve urged poor Bucky, who was a sweaty feverish mess. Bucky planted his feet on Steve’s shoulders and tensed his body, grabbing at Steve’s arms. The relief Steve felt when Bucky came in his fist escapes his lips in the form of a sigh, the sigh to end all sighs. 

He carefully removed his fingers from Bucky’s tender hole and wiped his hands on a towel. He climbed up to lay next to Bucky, who was still breathing very hard. 

“Steve,” Bucky panted, sounding exhausted but not sated. “Please…”

“Right here, Buck. Come close, Beautiful,” Steve shushed as he cradled Bucky close to his scent gland and let it flow. “Just try to relax, I’m gonna scent a little.”

Bucky whimpered and huffed as Steve stroked his hair and held him tightly, but slowly drifted off to sleep, good sleep. Sleep that was so restful and long that Steve got up, cleaned the cabin and made breakfast that would be ready for when he woke. A breakfast Steve ate alone because Bucky slept through it as well as lunch. Steve checked on Bucky every half hour and he would stir but not wake, so Steve let him sleep. 

As the sun went down, which was early in January, Steve was watching a little TV and thinking about dinner when he heard the padding of footsteps. Bucky came around the corner, rubbing his eyes with his hand under his shirt, scratching his belly. He looked rested and more like himself.

Steve was so relieved he jumped off the couch and pulled Bucky into his arms. “Hey, Buck, you’re awake. You look so much better.”

Bucky yawned and chuckled, leaning into Steve and wrapping his free arm around his waist. “Love you, Stevie. I do feel a lot better, think the worst is over.”

“Sweetheart, I love you so much. So glad you’re almost done. I know you were hurting.”

“Aw, Steve, it wasn’t all bad, though, right?”

“No, no, some of it was really fun, just this last part was hard...it was difficult to watch you when it looked like you were suffering.”

“You were wonderful to me the whole time, Steve. Thank you for that. Now feed me, I’m starving.”

Steve laughed. “You got it, Babe.”

They ate spaghetti and meatballs that they made together. Steve called Sam to tell him not to bring dinner. They enjoyed puttering around the kitchen together, sharing kisses and just chatting, something simple that Bucky could not do for a couple of days. 

Bucky was still yawning by the time dinner was finished, despite having slept for twelve hours. They managed to stay in the living room until about eight and then they gave in and went to bed. 

“Hey Steve?” Bucky called while Steve was brushing his teeth.

“Mhmmm?”

“Make love to me when you come to bed?”

Steve put his toothbrush away, walked to the bedroom and leaned against the door jam. “You sure about that, how’s your…?”

“My ass? Are you literally asking me how my ass is?”

“I’ve been taking care of that ass for a few days, I’ve used every cream in your basket there, Bud.”

“Honey, I’m fine, you took great care of me. I need you one more time.”

Steve crawled into bed and stripped off his clothes as Bucky shed his. They took their time and worshipped areas of their bodies that had not gotten attention during Bucky’s heat. They took their time and soon they both groaned through their orgasms. 

They woke and ate a huge breakfast. They deep cleaned the house, airing it out at one point to get rid of a lot of the heat scent. 

Plopping on the couch when they were done, they snuggled and Bucky put Steve’s hand on his belly. “God I hope we did it.”

Steve grinned and kissed Bucky. “I hope so, too. I really hope so, too.”

“One week from today, we can take a test,” Bucky said, kissing him back.

“Just in case…” Steve added and leaned over and kissed Bucky’s belly. 

Bucky’s heart swelled and his eyes welled and he smiled as he slipped his fingers into Steve’s hair. “Yeah, just in case.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, lay it on me...how are we doing??


	22. Expectation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky get some news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this as a short chapter because I felt you all earned it getting here. Thanks for reading along. No we are not done, but I have tortured you along the way, just a tad. 
> 
> Also, there were some questions about Steve's age. I thought I had addressed this with info about their past, but I think maybe I was not clear enough. SO Steve went right into the service after high school and served 20 years. That would have made him 38 when he got out and then I am sure he went home for a bit and then eventually he ended up in Virgin River. So he is 45. Bucky served 10 years right out of high school, then trained to be an RN, then a midwife. So he would have been 28 out of the military, then nursing school, then Midwife school, then the years with Brock, so Bucky is 38. Anyway that is my brain on their ages. They have got to get to work quickly.

Bucky and Steve sat on the couch with the package of pregnancy tests and an empty water bottle. It had been one week since Bucky’s heat had ended and they had both gone back to work.The week was full of hopeful smiles and soft touches. They cuddled together when they could, sharing gentle kisses and whispered wonderings. 

They had thought about waiting two more days until the weekend to take the test so they could absorb the news, positive or negative, but neither of them could wait. Their love and hope filled them so full that they would simply burst if they had to wait any longer. 

Taking a day off was the best alternative, they could not imagine functioning professionally if the news were negative. Neither Sam or Doc had any problem with giving them the day and wished them well. Now they sat before the sun was even up, Bucky’s bladder full of water and yet having not peed for the first time that morning in hopes of the best possible sample. 

“Should I read the directions for us?” Steve asked, eager to be a part of the process.

Bucky knew how to take a home pregnancy test, he had taken dozens, but he wanted Steve to feel involved and he wanted reassurance that the answer would be accurate. “That’s a good place to start, Honey.”

“Alrighty then,” Steve said as he opened the box and removed the instructions. ‘Remove test from the package. Well I feel better about reading these already,” Steve laughed aloud. 

“Jesus, the number of dumb people that must be out there,” Bucky said as he leaned back on the couch. “Hurry to the important parts, I gotta pee.”

“Okay, moving on. Remove the protective cap to expose the absorbent window. Point the absorbent tip with 5 small openings into the urine stream. Geez, I hope you have good aim. Take the sample for 7-10 seconds to ensure an adequate sample is collected. (Another technique is to collect the urine in a clean cup and dip the absorbant end into the urine for 10 seconds.) Maybe that’s better, huh Buck?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nope, not chancing contamination and false results. I can aim fine.”

“Kay, Re-cap the _device_ and place it horizontally on a clean, flat surface. Wait five minutes for the test to process.” Steve finished with a sigh. 

“That’s a big sigh, alpha,” Bucky said, placing his hand on Steve’s back. 

Steve fell back to the cushions of the couch, turning his face towards Bucky, his beautiful Bucky who might, or might not, be carrying their baby. He smiled and stroked the back of his hand across Bucky’s cheek. “I love you, Bucky. I love you so much and I just want this for us, but I really want this for you. I guess I’m just nervous.”

“You and me both, Honey. But listen, we are going to do two tests, regardless to be sure the results are consistent. Let’s not get too excited or upset until we do both, okay?”

Steve was a little surprised about Bucky’s demeanor. Maybe it was the fact that he was a midwife, still Steve asked. “Are you seriously that zen about this?” 

Bucky looked up at Steve and his bravado crumbled. “Fuck, no. I’m dying here,” Bucky groaned and crawled into Steve’s lap, straddling him and nestling into his neck. 

Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky and they sat there until Bucky was ready. “Alright, let's get this show on the road. I really need to pee.”

They got up and Steve grabbed the two tests as they moved to the bathroom. 

“You gonna watch me do it?” Bucky asked, looking nervous.

“No, but I just wanna be here for you.” Steve said with a quick kiss to Bucky’s lips.

“Perfect, I think I wouldn’t be able to do it, performance anxiety and all.”

“I’ll just stand behind you and hide my face, okay?” Steve said as Bucky unwrapped the test and removed the cap. 

“Ready?” Bucky asked. 

Steve answered by soothing his hands up and down Bucky’s upper arms and placing his forehead between Bucky’s shoulder blades. “I love you, Bucky, no matter what happens. We’ve got lots of time.”

Steve squeezed Bucky’s shoulders as he took the test and hoped with all of his heart that he and Bucky had started their family.

“Okay, start the timer on your phone and comb your hair, we need to be selfie ready for when we find out we’re pregnant.”

Steve turned Bucky in his arms and kissed him warmly, then Bucky put the cap back on and slipped the test back into the open plastic packaging, claiming he didn’t want them to see it for the time it was processing. Their eyes were filled with unshed tears and they clung to each other before stepping in front of the mirror and getting ready. 

Bucky put in a simple braid to the side, down his shoulder and watched Steve put product in his hair and comb it neatly. He loved to watch Steve, it was like watching a sculptor, his hair always looked so smart when he was done. 

They moved to the couch to wait out the time, another two minutes. They took a selfie Bucky titled, _waiting_. You could see how tightly their hands were clasped together in the photo. Their firmly laced fingers spoke volumes. 

The timer went off and Bucky picked up the test. Steve dropped Bucky's hand and wrapped his arms around his sweet omega. He kissed Bucky sweetly, peck after peck until he had the courage to stop and accept the results. He smiled at Bucky and laid his head on Bucky’s shoulder. 

“We want two lines, one red and one pink. That’s positive. Negative is only one red line,” Bucky said quietly. Steve nodded. 

Bucky held both ends of the test ready to pull but he wasn’t sure he could. He was waiting when Steve spoke. 

“I love you, Bucky Barnes-Rogers. It’s a good day to find out.”

Bucky felt courage with Steve wrapped around him and he pulled the test out of the package, looking down.

He knew Steve had seen it when he crushed Bucky’s ribs with his embrace. 

“Stevie, two lines! _Two lines!”_

“Oh Buck, oh Buck, oh Buck,” Steve kept saying, his lips pressed to Bucky’s temple. 

“I can’t breathe, Honey,” Bucky laughed and Steve loosened his grip. 

Bucky slid onto Steve’s lap and they snapped a selfie Bucky holding the test and Steve holding Bucky in the vee of his lap, putting up a hand with two fingers. Their faces showed the pure joy in their hearts. 

They kissed for several minutes, just taking in the joy of Bucky being pregnant. The emotions were so high it was overwhelming. They were just clinging and smiling into their kisses. 

“Love you, Buck.”

“Love you, back Stevie.”

When they began to settle down, Bucky got up to confirm with the second test. When it came back positive, they were elated and whooped it up a bit more. 

“We’re gonna be Dad’s, Bucky!” 

“We so are, Stevie.” 

Then it occurred to Steve, Bucky was already a dad. He needed to let him know he knew that.

“Buck, I didn’t mean you were going to be a dad for the first-”

“Steve, don’t. We’re celebrating our first time as parents together, it’s okay. I know what you meant. Enjoy this, I am,” Bucky said warmly, cradling Steve’s face in his hands and kissing his nose.

“God, Bucky you are such a strong person, I love you so much.”

“You are my alpha, my true alpha. Everything we have done together has been real and natural and loving. Your love has let me find my true inner self and strength. Today is about us. I love you, I love us.”

Steve pushed them over on the couch and he rucked up Bucky’s shirt to kiss the spot directly below Bucky’s belly button. “Hello in there, it’s me, your Daddy.”

Bucky was pregnant. And Steve was talking to his belly not two minutes after they found out. Bucky knew then and there that it was going to be an incredible journey with Steve. He knew Steve would cherish every second and support him along the way. He was grateful to feel so loved, and yet there was a hint of sadness for all he would do with this baby that he couldn’t do with Winne. He tamped those feelings down and decided they deserved this moment. 

“Hey, Honey, we need to call Doc to see if he can do a blood test. We can’t be totally sure until then.”

“But two positives is a good sign, right Buck?”

“Yes, Stevie, it’s a great sign.”

“Hey, Buck?”

“Yeah, hun?”

“It’s only 6:30, let’s go back to bed and cuddle with the baby until 8 and then we can shower and call Doc, okay?”

“Okay, Steve, okay...you win. Take me to bed and cuddle away.”


	23. Confirmation and Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve get their situation confirmed and it hits Bucky...he's pregnant. He also hates needles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for details about drawing blood. My daughter hates that, so I like to warn people in case they do as well. Also note about this world in my head. It would not be common for step parents to exist, it is ABO and of course the bonding is permanent for most people, there for not a ton of remarriage, etc. So Bucky makes an assumption about how Steve feels about Winnie.

Steve sat with Bucky at the hospital in the lab waiting room. They held hands tightly, waiting for Bucky’s name to be called for his bloodwork. Bucky’s knee bounced incessantly. He was nervous. He had been excited at the news of the home test results with Steve and would always consider that the exact moment they knew he was pregnant, but the medical side of him needed a blood test to confirm before he could relax. He also hated needles...unless he was using them on someone else, of course. 

“Okay, Buck?” Steve asked, still grinning like a fool, a very sweet, handsome fool. Bucky loved how excited Steve was and how much he already seemed to cherish Bucky being pregnant. 

“Yeah, I’ll just feel better when the blood test confirms. Plus the whole needle thing, you know me.”

Steve’s look softened and he pulled Bucky’s hand up to his mouth to place a warm kiss to the back of it. “I’ll come with you, keep holding your hand, alright?”

Bucky leaned his head into Steve’s shoulder and nodded. So many years of surgeries and procedures, first for his arm, then for the fertility, left him with an incredible dread of bloodwork or IV’s. He’d been so sick when he was at the hospital in Burlington with Dr. Ross that Steve had scented him through the worst of it. Now Steve was going to see the real Bucky with needles.

Still, it was totally worth it, having a family with Steve. Bucky’d do just about anything to have that, and so he bounced his knee and waited. 

“James?” the tech called and waited. Bucky stood with Steve and the tech recognized him, Clear Water Hospital was a small facility. “Hey, Bucky, I thought it might have been you, only Barnes-Rogers I know, but never knew your first name was James. Come on in.”

She walked them into a small sterile looking room with a chair, a vinyl covered cot and lots of cabinets with supplies. The alcohol smell was strong, it seem to light his nerve endings on fire. He squeezed Steve’s hand and was happy to get a squeeze back. 

Bucky handed over the slip from Doc with the order on it and the tech lit up, but remained professional. “Doc says you can wait here and I can tell you the result. Takes about 40 minutes, I’ll push you to the front barring any emergency blood work that comes through,” She said with a wink. 

“That’s great!” Bucky was genuinely excited. He thought Doc would be a total rule follower and make him wait the the results came to his office first. “I figured you couldn’t tell me- I mean us. This is my husband Steve. Steve this is Maria Hill.”

Steve offered his hand, “Hi Maria, nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. Bucky talks nonstop about you. Congrats on the wedding and being mates...and hopefully for even more,” she said, glancing at the lab request and knocking on the cabinet like it was wood.

“Thank you. I hope you only hear the good stuff,” Steve replied.

“My understanding is there is only good stuff.”

Bucky felt his face heat to about the same temp that was making Steve’s face color. Maria broke up the awkward moment by having Bucky take off his coat and sit in the chair. 

“I’ll warn you, I’m not an easy stick, sorry in advance.” 

Maria didn’t even flinch and asked, “Do they usually try a syringe or go right to a butterfly?”

“You might have luck with a syringe, I haven’t had bloodwork in a while.” Bucky knew the syringe would be faster than waiting for the tiny butterfly to fill the tube. Less time for issues. 

“Okay then, let’s take a look,” she answered calmly and pushed the sleeve of Bucky’s henley up to tie on the rubber tourniquet. “Make a fist and pump it for me, please.”

Bucky opened and closed his fist a few times. “Boy you weren’t kidding. Not a lot to work with. How about I give you a heat pack for a few and we try again, she said releasing the rubber band.”

“What’s that gonna do?” Steve asked, concern visible on his face. 

“It’ll help my vein be easier to find. Cold veins shrink, warm veins kind of plump up a bit. It’s okay Steve, just get ready to have your hand squeezed off,” Bucky chuckled. 

They all chatted a bit and then Maria applied the rubber band once more, feeling carefully at the crook or Bucky’s elbow. She tore the finger of her glove open and felt again for quite a while. 

“Okay, Bucky, real still for me. I think I can get it.” She applied a new glove and prepared the needle and pulled a tube from a box in the cabinet. 

Bucky suddenly felt all the blood drain from his body into his feet. “Steve,” he said weakly, reaching with his metal hand for his husband. 

“Hey, Bucky, right, here Sweetheart,” Steve said, trying to reassure an instantly pale Bucky. 

Bucky leaned away from his flesh arm and Maria as she felt again. Steve held Bucky to his torso, wrapping him up with his arm so Bucky could not see what was going on. “Hang on, Buck, I gotcha.”

“Little sting,” Maria said and Steve felt Bucky flinch and his breathing become rapid. 

“Steve,” Bucky said weakly. “I don’t…’m a little light headed.” 

Steve sensed Bucky getting heavier in his arms as soon as he spoke. Maria seemed to sense it as well. 

“Bucky?” Steve asked, the implication of the question understood by all three of them. 

“Almost done, sweetie,” Maria said to Bucky with a sympathetic look. “Steve, we’re gonna move him to that cot as soon as I get the needle out and the gauze taped, got it.”

Steve nodded. He couldn’t say much, he was hanging on by a thread, not wanting to worry Bucky and make things worse. 

“S’really hot in here, might throw up,” Bucky declared.

“You’re probably going to pass out here in a sec, Bucky. It’s okay, Steve and I can handle you, alright. Just try to relax and take a deep breath. I think you’re hyperventilating.”

“I love you, Buck. I’m here and we’ve got you, okay. Deep breaths, like Maria said, alright?” but Steve could feel Bucky getting heavier and heavier.

“Dizzy…” Bucky said and Steve felt like the last sixty seconds had been an eternity, but Maria finally removed the needle and quickly taped the gauze in place. 

“All done, Bucky. How are you?” she asked, but it was apparent he had gone completely limp in Steve’s arms. 

“Shit, he’s almost out,” Steve said, looking at Maria. “You better get a can or something, if he says he’s gonna puke he means it.” 

“Can you get him to the cot?” Maria asked. ”I'm gonna have to call the ER. It’s policy when someone passes out down here.” 

“Bucky, Sweetheart, I’m gonna pick you up,” Steve said as he did his best to shift Bucky in his arms without him falling.

“Sssorry,” Bucky slurred as he flopped a little when Steve cradled him and lifted him, turning and laying him on the cot. 

“It’s alright, Bucky...just breathe, babe.” Bucky was panting and grey, face covered in a thin sheen of sweat. 

Maria held Bucky’s wrist to take his pulse as she called on her phone. “Hill in the lab, I have a lightheaded patient in need of level I support. Thanks.”

Bucky was limp and his eyes were rolling up into his head and Steve was about to freak out when a doctor and a nurse showed up. 

“Hey, Barnes, how are you, can you take a deep breath for me?” the doctor asked, clearly recognizing Bucky. “What’s the test for, Maria?”

“Initial hCG,” she answered and the doctor and nurse both smiled. 

“Hey, this must be the famous Steve you tell us so much about. Bucky, take some deep breaths for me, alright. You’re about to pass out on us and you won’t get the news til later if you do, right?”

“Bucky, sweetheart, can you hear me? Can you breathe, Buck, you’re scaring me a little, here,” Steve said, trying to make light of the situation, when really he was losing his shit. 

“Can someone grab a cold pack and fan a little air on Bucky, here,” the doctor said as he put a blood pressure cuff on Bucky’s arm. “He might have a little seepage from the draw site when I take his pressure, okay Steve?” 

Steve nodded from where he stood, still holding Bucky’s metal hand. They were all crowded around Bucky on the cot.

“Phil Coulson, by the way, sorry for not saying that earlier. I’m going to take his pressure, make sure it’s not super low. I’m sure he’s fine, Steve.”

“He doesn’t like needles, huh, Buck?” Steve said to the doctor but addressed Bucky. 

Bucky groaned when the cuff squeezed and moved his arm. “Hang on, Buck, lay still. I’m right here, sweetheart.” 

“Feel sick, Steve…” was all Bucky said as Maria handed Steve a familiar blue bag. He got it to Bucky’s face just as he barfed into it. He wretched a couple more times and then he seemed to come back to them a little. 

“Pressure’s okay,” the doctor said, removing the cuff as Bucky began to see his reality. 

Bucky’s eyes finally came under his control again, as did the rest of his body and he looked at the room full of people, knowing he’d fucked this up pretty good. 

“Jesus, what’d I do?”

Steve sort of pushed his way towards Bucky so he could wrap his arms around him for reassurance as he lay on the cot, regaining his wits.

“Hey, Buck. Welcome back. You got lightheaded and went out on us. Feelin’ better?”

“I’m so sorry, Steve.” 

“Nah, don’t worry. You warned me you didn’t like needles. You need anything”

“Water would be good,” Bucky said as he began to sit up. Steve, of course, kept a steadying hand on the small of his back and a firm grip on his upper arm for support. 

“I’m really sorry for the trouble everyone. This is kinda embarrassing. Midwife faints at own pregnancy test. I can see it in the gossip headlines now.” Bucky mocked his own behavior, pointing out at fake headlines, as he felt his face heat again. Bucky told himself silently to get his shit together. 

That broke the tension though , everyone laughed with Bucky, and after confirming his was perfectly fine now, he and steve went in search of the cafeteria and some water. 

“Come back in thirty minutes, I’ll have the results for you,” Maria said with a pat to his shoulder.

“It was nice to meet everyone,” Steve said, shaking hands again. 

Bucky had his ID with him, so they went to find the cafeteria and a place to sit that was not the lab. 

Bucky got water, Steve got coffee, and urged Bucky to get some food. “Come on Buck, at least get a bagel or something. It’ll help settle your stomach.”

“I thought you might take me out for a celebratory breakfast after, I don’t want a hospital bagel.”

Steve smiled at Bucky with the sweet look that was only for him and answered after a gentle kiss, “Alright, if you feel up to it, that sounds perfect.”

They ended up getting premade yogurt and fruit parfaits to tide them over, but Bucky knew mostly because Steve would worry until he ate something. They chatted until the agonizingly long half hour was up and they returned to the lab. 

Maria pulled them back into the same room and handed Bucky the results. Steve looked on with him. 

“281?” Bucky asked looking at Maria.

“281, that’s your copy by the way, I’ll send one to Doc for you,” she confirmed. 

Bucky looked at Steve. He smiled from ear to ear. Steve thought Bucky looked even happier than when they were dancing around the house in their pjs. He looked equally like a weight had been lifted. 

“We’re pregnant for sure, Stevie.” Bucky’s voice caught a little. Steve crushed Bucky to his chest, results and Bucky’s arms trapped between them, and he kissed Bucky soundly, right in the lab. 

Ending the kiss, he pressed their foreheads together, “Love you, Buck.”

“Love you, too, Steve. So much.”

From behind them Maria piped in, “281’s a high number for week one.”

“What’s that mean, is that okay?” Steve asked concern flooding his body.

“Simmer down, Steve, it’s fine. It means my alpha got me pregnant right at the beginning of my heat is all. 281 indicates the two week range for conception. Let’s go tiger, so Maria here can get back to work,” Bucky explained, teasing at the end.

Steve was incredibly proud and puffy and equally mortified, _but in a good way?_ at Bucky’s statement. Of course the alpha in him wanted to march through the hospital shouting that he had indeed impregnated Bucky quickly in the heat, but actually hearing Bucky say it, however medically it was being discussed, made Steve feel like a teenager busted by his parents. 

Bucky was very happy as they walked out and Maria said, “Congratulations, Bucky. Must be exciting. You waited so long to mate and now your first baby. Good for you. We’ll all be excited for you.” 

Steve was stunned, not knowing what to do, but Bucky didn’t miss a beat. “Thank you, but this is not my first, I lost a baby at birth in a previous, unbonded relationship. Steve and I are thrilled, though, Right, Stevie?”

“Yes we are,” Steve confirmed. How he managed to sound as confident as Bucky when his heart was cracked in two for his sweet Bucky, he had no idea. 

“Bucky, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t-”

“Maria, don’t worry about it. You didn’t know. I appreciate your being excited for us. I mean it.” 

“Come on, Bucky, we’ve got some celebrating to do, and I want something disgustingly good to eat!”

Bucky’s smile showed gratitude and Steve ushered them out of the lab and the hospital, arms wrapped around each others’ waists, Bucky still clutching their results. As they got to Steve’s truck, he crouched and picked Bucky up so Bucky’s feet were off the ground and he had to lean down to kiss Steve, which he did...soundly.

Dropping Bucky to his feet, Steve pressed him against the truck and kissed him again. When they were breathless and warm despite the bite of the January air, Steve pulled back and opened Bucky’s door for him. 

“What was that for,” Bucky’s eyes were bright and heated, and he panted.

Just before he closed the truck door, he put his hand on Bucky’s belly and said, “For makin’ us a family.”

Breakfast was indulgent and relaxed, it was a weekday so the diner in Clear Water was not incredibly busy. Steve had questions, and concerns for Bucky. Despite his quick recovery with Maria Hill, Steve knew there would be some internal conflict for Bucky, there had to be. Bucky was barely pregnant and already Steve worried about things that could happen, he could not imagine Bucky going to the hospital and not coming home with Winnie in his arms, and with that asshole Brock for support. He pushed that from his mind for now and thought about this moment, this happy celebration...their baby.

“When can we tell people? Isn’t there some sort of rule about that or something,” Steve asked shoving another mouthful of cheesecake pancakes in his mouth. 

“Well,” Bucky started, chewing his nutella belgian waffle, “There are two camps about telling people you’re pregnant. Some say wait until the second trimester so if something goes wrong you don’t have to tell anyone. The other side is just tell everyone from the get go.” 

“How do you feel about it?” Steve asked, choking around the thought of having to wait a long time to tell people, he might just burst, but he realized the decision should be mostly Bucky’s, it was his body that was going to do the work. 

“I never got the waiting thing. I mean really! Doesn’t a baby get to be celebrated and loved from the moment you make him or her?” Bucky’s tone took a scolding turn and Steve thought this might just be something that Bucky had experience with from before or maybe his work. Either way he was on a roll and Steve went with it.

“And then what if something goes wrong, Jesus let’s hope not, but if it did, then the baby was this secret that only you two knew about and you have no one but each other to talk to about it. No, uhn-uh I think a baby deserves to be loved from day one, not kept in the dark like some optional part of your life, and only if it works out like you want it to-” and then Bucky burst into tears, right in the diner, clapping his hands over his mouth in an attempt to stop it.

There it was, the reality of it all, celebrating a new baby and not having the other. Steve knew it would come at some point, maybe not in public for his sweet Bucky’s sake, but it did and Steve would help him ride it out. He slipped into Bucky’s side of the booth and pulled Bucky close letting the omega hide his face in his neck, body wracked with silent sobs. The waitress came and Steve waved her away gently. She returned briefly to slip a box of tissues on the table. She smiled empathetically, they had shared the reason for breakfast and she probably assumed Bucky was just emotional. 

It took a good long time, but eventually, Bucky was no longer crying, breath still hiccuping and he blew his nose. Steve kept a firm hand around his waist and one on his thigh, rubbing to help Bucky ground himself. 

“Christ, I am s-so f-fucking sorry, n-no idea where th-that came from,” Bucky breathed out. 

“Yes, you do. Why don’t we go so we can talk about this somewhere where we can relax? Okay?” 

“We just got our food and-”

“They can pack it up for us, Bucky this is more important than pancakes. Plus I’m not going to be able to eat one more bite until I hear you tell me what made you so sad. You know me.”

Bucky looked incredibly grateful. Steve waved the waitress over and quietly informed her they were leaving, handed her his credit card, and asked her to pack up the food with extra syrup and sauce for Bucky. Luckily she totally got what needed to happen and took the food to the back instead of packaging it at the table. He ushered Bucky quickly to the truck and went back for the food and his card. 

The drive back was quiet, though Bucky held hands with Steve over the console. He stared out the window most of the time, but occasionally smiled at Steve, though he looked unnecessarily apologetic as he did. Steve did his best to smile back warmly, not worried, but it was hard. 

“Can we pull over at the view point for the river for a second?” 

“Sure, Buck. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about today. Don’t want you to think that I’m not happy.”

“I know you’re happy Sweetheart, I saw your face when that first test was positive. But listen, we both know this might be hard for you at times,” Steve squeezed Bucky’s metal hand. He turned the truck off into the viewpoint and put it in park. 

Bucky turned to Steve and just looked at him. Steve watched as Bucky took several deep breaths, it looked as if he was attempting to speak but could not. Finally after a big sigh, Bucky swallowed hard and spoke. 

“I need to ask you a favor,” Buck said as if it would require something nearly impossible. Steve could hardly fight his fear but he knew Bucky would not ask if it was not important and that it must have been hard to admit. 

“Buck, anything. Name it,” and Steve meant it, no matter the cost. 

“It’s just that...I...Steve I can’t have this conversation over the console of the truck. Can we go stand outside?”

“Sure, whatever you need,” Steve said, opening his door. 

Bucky walked to the edge of the viewpoint overlooking the river from the Clear Water side and pulled his hat lower on his ears, it was cold. Steve came up behind him and Bucky could feel Steve pull him back against his chest. Bucky went with it. He needed the reassurance of his alpha. Steve was a good and kind alpha, but would this be too much? Bucky feared it might. 

“C’mere, Buck,” Steve said as he turned Bucky in his arms. “Tell me what you need. Something is off, what is it?”

“I think...today was...a lot. I mean, Steve you gotta know I’m thrilled and we’re gonna be a great family. So great.”

“Course we are, Buck. But…” Steve encouraged Bucky to continue.

“But for a split second when I was sitting there rattling off about a baby feeling loved from the get go, I just had this huge wave of guilt.”

“Oh Buck,” Steve’s face looked so sad as he hugged Bucky close. 

“I mean I know she knows I love her. She has to, I do...I love her...I just think I need to know if she understands,” Bucky’s lip wobbled, but he fought the tears. 

“What can I do to help you feel better about it?” Steve asked genuinely. 

Bucky looked nervous as he glanced up at Steve. “I just need to make sure she’s okay with it all. Steve I know I said we wouldn’t talk about the past anymore, but-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa...Bucky. We said we wouldn’t compare everything we do to what you and Brock did, but I never expected you to not talk about Winnie.”

Bucky’s eyes filled with tears, but didn’t spill. Steve continued. He held Bucky’s face in his hands, thumbs ready to brush away tears. “There is nothing wrong with talking about Winnie or when you carried her. Bucky, Winnie is a part of our lives. I mean I know I’m not her father, but I still want to be her dad. She’ll have birthdays that we’ll celebrate and we’re gonna remember her forever, honey.”

‘You want to be her dad?” Bucky whispered, in awe of Steve’s generosity as an alpha. It was not usually this easy for an alpha to accept another alpha’s child. 

“Buck if she were here with us, wouldn’t I be her dad?”

Bucky nodded. “Will you take me to visit her?”

“Buck, I’d like nothing more. It’s about time I met her and we can tell her what’s going on.”

“How are you even real?” Bucky asked as he wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist. He meant it. How was this kind man his alpha and husband? This man who not only loved Bucky, but now Winnie. 

“Bucky, I am a lucky man to have you and Winnie in my life. Come on, I’m freezing, let’s go home and make plans.” He threaded their fingers together and tugged Bucky towards the truck. “How about a weekend trip to the city, I’ll book a hotel and we can go tell Winnie she is going to be a big sister.”

Bucky looked much more at ease on the rest of the ride home, like a cloud had been lifted. Steve heated up their food and they finished the breakfast they had started. They were stuffed afterwards and they laid on the couch together to rest their bellies. When they got up they were going to plan their trip. 

“If I keep eating like that, I’m gonna get fat,” Bucky admitted with a chuckle.

“Oh God, I can’t wait!” Steve said, rubbing his hand over Bucky’s belly. 


	24. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve takes Bucky to Brooklyn. Family reunions happen. healing begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, Sorry this took so long. Busy life at school for this chick. Too tired at night to write! couple of things:  
> -Steve goes from Nomad hair to red carpet hair  
> -this is the last heavy chapter, now we get to the good stuff  
> -we have a final chapter number  
> -no editing

They left early the next morning at the insistence of Sam and Doc, both claimed they would not be missed at work and both glad that Steve and Bucky were on the same page in regard to Bucky’s past and their future together.

“Take the time and process through this with him, Steve,” Sam had said with a look of total support and understanding in his eyes. “Then when you get home, we are gonna talk about this bar. You don’t need the money and you have somewhere else to put your time. Sharon and I have a plan to get you and Bucky on the same work schedule. For now, take care of your boy, he needs you.”

“He's not my  _ boy,  _ Sam,” Steve had corrected. But the smirk on Sam’s lips let Steve know he was being teased. 

Steve had booked a hotel room, a nice one. They hadn't wanted a honeymoon trip together, and though that was not the intention of this trip, it couldn’t hurt to have the privacy. Steve did not want to complicate the weekend trying to sleep at Becca’s house with three kids. Bucky looked relieved when Steve asked about a hotel, so clearly it was mutual. They packed enough clothes for four days and they were off. 

They started with breakfast from Sharon’s truck, she made the best cinnamon buns and nutella pastry twists. Steve got a large coffee and Bucky sadly avoided his latte for an herbal tea. Steve kissed him for giving up caffeine for the baby, he even gave him half of his nutella twist. 

Bucky settled into the trip, his face breaking into a smile now and then as Steve chatted away. Steve sensed Bucky was happy, but he was also quiet, not that it was a surprise to Steve. He reached out to touch Bucky when he could, but didn’t force the conversation. About two hours in, Steve felt the silence was a bit long.

“Just checking in, you okay, Buck?” Steve asked, offering a small smile.

Bucky turned his head from where he was looking out the window, returned the smile and answered. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine. Sorry I’m not better company. Just thinking.”

“Your perfect company, babe. It’s okay. Thinking about anything in particular?”

Bucky looked at Steve as he drove, one hand on the wheel, concentrating on the road with an occasional glance towards Bucky. HIs silence wasn’t intentional, but some of the things Bucky was going over in his mind, he did not want to share. He  _ was  _ purposefully thinking of how to bring the Venn diagram of his life, the Winnie circle and the Steve circle, together without causing any heartache or collateral damage. Steve was a good man. He deserved a happy mate, Bucky was worried that he would ruin the weekend. 

“Just that I’m lucky to have you.” Bucky knew it was true, Steve was a find...a kind soul in a sometimes harsh world. 

“Aww, Buck. I feel the same.”

“No, Steve, you don’t understand. You’re a good man, a truly good husband and mate. I mean taking me to see Winnie, that’s...not a lot of alphas would go that far.”

Bucky felt the truck slow down and Steve pulled over on the shoulder, putting the truck in park. They were still on quiet roads. Steve turned to Bucky with a serious face. Bucky was not afraid, but it was old hat to wait for the other shoe to drop. Hindsight was 20/20 on that. Bucky never really had the whole picture in the past, a lot of the medical information they discovered opened his eyes to the cruelty he unwittingly endured with Brock. Steve, though, he was changing that day by day. Bucky felt loved and valued in every word and every touch from Steve. Even now, with Steve leaning over the console, Bucky’s face in his hands and their eyes locked, Bucky trusted Steve and felt safe.

“James Buchanan Barnes-Rogers, I want you to listen to me. Four months ago I didn't even know you. You walked into my bar and blew my ridiculously empty world wide open. In the recklessly short time we have known each other, we fell in love, got married, became mates, and now you are carrying the baby that we made during your natural heat, the one we shared. I always think actions speak louder than words, but I know that you’re apprehensive sometimes, not through any fault of your own. So, hear me good, my sweet Bucky. I am all in with us, with our life and with our family. _ All in.  _ As far as I am concerned we are a family of three, soon to become four. You do not need to thank me or act like this is some big generous deal. I love you. I love her. It goes hand in hand.”

Steve sealed their lips and Bucky smiled into the kiss, slipping his fingers into Steve’s hair, it was getting a bit long, even for Steve. When they broke, Bucky whispered his reply.

“Me too, Stevie, me too. I’m all in, too. You’re what I’ve always needed but couldn’t find. I can’t wait for Winnie to know about how wonderful you are. Thanks for this trip. It means a lot to me to be able to connect my past with our future with Winnie.”

Steve brushed their lips together, then placed a tender trail of kisses downward until he buried his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck, nuzzling at his mating mark. They stayed that way for a few minutes, despite Steve leaning over the console. When Steve let go, he gave Bucky the softest of looks, blinking so slowly that Bucky could see his thick beautiful eyelashes. 

“Let’s go have a nice weekend, Sweetheart. You certainly deserve it,” Steve added. 

Bucky’s mood lightened and he and Steve chatted about things they might do in Brooklyn, including going to Bucky’s old barbershop. 

“I can’t believe you’re going to cut your hair short, Steve!” 

“I’m tired of it flopping all over and I want to be ready when the baby comes.” Steve countered.

“You realize I have hair to my shoulders and I have to have the baby, right?” Bucky laughed at the thought of Steve’s hair being a nuisance. 

“Yeah but you can put it in a ponytail or a man bun, mine’s just messy. You don’t mind, do you, Buck?” Steve’s face took on the famous look of concern, eyebrows crinkled. 

Bucky laughed, “You can cut your hair however you like it! You’ll always be my hot Vermont lumberjack, don’t you worry.” 

They laughed for a while at the jab at Steve’s closet full of plaid flannel. Eventually Bucky began to yawn. When one yawn nearly split his head in half Steve spoke up.

“Grab the pillow from the back seat and sleep for a while. We have another two hours and I’m caffeined up. You and the baby need a nap.” He reached over and rubbed Bucky’s belly affectionately.

“You sure? I don’t want to miss seeing Brooklyn from a distance, though.”

Steve reached for the pillow, since Bucky had not, and handed it to him. “I’ll wake you when we’re close enough to see it, Buck, promise.” 

Steve expected Bucky to lean against the window, but instead his omega snuggled against the console, giving Steve the ability to reach over and rub his back. God he loved Bucky. He hoped the trip would give Bucky a little more closure and not upset him too much. Steve had a feeling that Bucky carried some hurt and guilt that needed to be worked through. He sure as hell would be there for Bucky if he was right. He patted Bucky’s shoulder as the omega dozed off quickly, Steve assumed exhausted from the whole situation. 

***

“Bucky, Sweetheart, we’re getting close...hey love, you wanted to see Brooklyn before we got there,” Steve said with a gentle rub of Bucky’s head. 

Bucky slowly woke, rubbing his eye with a balled up fist and suddenly Steve got a glimpse of Bucky as a child. He smiled warmly as he watched Bucky take in the odd skyline. It wasn’t as impressive as the Manhattan skyline, but clearly it meant something to Bucky, whose face flashed a series of mixed emotions. Steve reached for his hand to reassure him, and offer support, glad he did when Bucky grabbed tightly. 

That roller coaster of emotion seemed to settle into excitement as Bucky directed Steve through the city to Becca’s house. They pulled up to a beautiful stand alone home and Steve thought Becca and her husband were not doing too bad in life. 

“Honk the horn Stevie, honk, that’s a thing we do when we get to each other’s houses.”

“Okay, Babe, okay,” Steve chuckled as he gave the horn a couple of taps. 

They were rewarded with Becca flying out of the house, kids in tow and a man who must be Isaac, Becca’s husband and alpha. Bucky shot out of the truck, no jacket on, and lifted tiny Becca off her feet, before stooping to hug the three kids, a girl and two boys. 

Becca’s children were sweet and watching Bucky interact with his niece and nephews was charming. Steve held back, eager to meet Isaac and the kids but feeling like a bit of an outsider yet with Becca. Steve had only seen her at the wedding and well, he and Bucky were kind of busy in their own little world. 

He missed Bucky moving to greet Isaac, three kids still attached and was startled by Becca right in front of him with her arms open wide. 

“Steve, so glad to see you again.”

“Oh, sorry, I was watching Bucky with the kids. Hey Becca good to see you, too,” he said stepping toward her, unsure of how to really engage the hug. Becca knew though, and wrapped her arms genuinely around his waist and squeezed. Steve felt his apprehension melt away and found himself hugging back warmly, rubbing her shoulder with one hand. 

Becca pulled back and looked up at him. “Thank you, Steve. He looks fucking fabulous. Happy, he looks so happy.”

Steve’s response stuck in his throat and he just nodded, smiling warmly, feeling his eyes prickle a bit. 

“Come on, meet Isaac and the kids. I’ve built you up into a superhero and the kids can’t wait any longer.”

Steve shook hands when she introduced Isaac and then pretty much got jungle gymmed by the kids, George, Sadie, and little Benjamin. He was fine until he saw the two littlest arms point straight up at him. Steve knew the sign for pick me up, it was universal after all, so he did, and his heart melted. Benjamin relaxed against Steve’s chest and he gave a little sniff of the giant alpha’s neck. 

Becca corrected him. “Benjamin, what do Mommy and Daddy say about smelling without asking?”

“Becs, he’s fine, Steve’s good with kids, right Stevie?” The thought that Bucky would give Steve credit for being good with kids and the use of his sweet nickname had Steve’s face flooding with heat. 

“I don’t know about that, but I sure better get some practice in, right?” Steve answered, looking to the tiny boy he carried toward the house. “How old are you anyway, Benjamin? Ten? Twenty?”

Steve nearly died at the eruption of giggles that came from all three of the kids. Benjamin answered very seriously face abruptly going from laughs to concentration as he manipulated his fingers. “No! I’n free.” 

That little voice would be the end of him for sure. Steve looked to Bucky and they shared a moment that they both knew meant, _ this will be us soon… _

Sadie piped up, “Mommy made Jewish food for Uncle Bucky. We’re gonna have lunch aaaaaallllll together.”

“Sis, you did?” Bucky asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

“Eh, I figured what the hell. I got stuff from the deli for sandwiches, but I made Ma’s matzo ball soup, challah bread, and chocolate rugelach for dessert, no big deal.”

“Oh sh-snap, Becs, my favorites,” Bucky looked as close to crying without actually crying as he could. Steve reached his free hand out to the small of Bucky’s back for support. He got a quick warm glance in return. 

Lunch was warm and filling and relaxed. Steve was incredibly glad they came now that this part was over. It was far better than he had imagined and Bucky looked...he looked like he was home. 

They indulged the kids a bit longer until Bucky began to yawn. Then Steve suggested they go check into the hotel so Bucky could take a nap. 

“It’s early for that, isn’t it? You’re not sick yet are you?” Becca asked.

“No, no real symptoms yet, just tired after the drive, maybe a bit nervous. I’m fine now, though... I mean a five hour drive knocks the wind out of anyone.”

“Well, it was nice to meet everyone, I’m sure I’ll see you again this weekend,” Steve said as they moved toward the door. Suddenly, George, the oldest at ten nearly tackled Steve with a big hug.

“I like you so much better than Uncle Brock. Uncle Bucky is fun again.” 

Bucky froze as the whole room stilled and Steve looked at him, then at Becca who looked like she’d been slapped. Her face immediately began to redden, she was about to say something when Steve looked down at his nephew and said, “Well, thanks Buddy, I like you, too. You’re Uncle Bucky is fun, isn’t he?” 

A collective sigh escaped the adults as George just nodded into Steve’s arms before letting go and backing up. Steve helped Bucky slip his arms into his navy pea coat and then buttoned it before putting on his own. 

Bucky hugged his sister and said, “We’re gonna try to sleep in, then we’ll call you about the cemetery. Thanks for lunch...for everything.”

“You bet, honey, we’re so glad you guys came.”

***

The hotel was very welcoming and the room was going to make the weekend romantic and relaxing. Bucky and Steve checked in and unpacked, putting everything away so they could relax. They puttered around each other, just letting the fact that this was their first overnight trip together. Steve’s hand found Bucky’s belly with every pass, he didn’t even try to be subtle about it. Bucky smiled at the thought of the happiness growing beneath Steve’s hand, he relied on these simple moments to get him through the harder parts of the weekend. 

“Hey Buck, how close is your old barber shop? Wanna take me there before we go to dinner?”

“You really gonna do it old man, cut all that hair off?” Bucky teased.

“Buck, my hair barely touches my collar, it’s hardly  _ all that hair _ ,” Steve objected. “I just want to look good in case we meet any of your olds friends or anything.”

“So  _ that’s  _ why you want a haircut, eh?” Bucky goaded. Steve rolled his eyes, exasperated. Bucky soothed the nip of his initial comment. “I’ll take you, I was just bustin’ your chops.”

“Thank you,” Steve voice had a hint of sarcasm. 

Bucky side eyed Steve and added, “You don’t need a haircut to outshine my past, you know...you’re way hotter just on your own.”

“Oh?” Steve asked, wrapping Bucky in his arms. Bucky looked a bit shifty. Steve lifted an eyebrow to his husband. “What did you do, Mr. Barnes Rogers?”

“Just made a dinner reservation…” Bucky answered, his voice a higher pitch than normal. 

Steve continued to hold that eyebrow and tilted his head down in faux sternness. “Just made a dinner reservation?”

“Okay! Quit with the eyebrow of doom. I may or may not have made a reservation at a restaurant owned by friends of Brocks. We used to go there...a lot.” Bucky looked somewhat remorseful, maybe a hint of regret slipping across his face. 

“Buck are you using me to...are you doing a hot date at the class reunion thing with your old friends?”

“Not  _ my _ old friends, but maybe? Is that awful?” Bucky answers, eyes scrunched, peeking out of one at Steve.

Steve squeezed Bucky a little tighter and kissed him just a little dirty. “You think I’m the hot date? Buck, that’s kinda sweet. Now we have even more reason to get to the barber.”

Bucky described the italian restaurant to Steve as they made their way to get Steve’s haircut. Bucky was worried because they did not have an appointment, but his guy had always let Bucky come when he could. Today was no different, welcoming Bucky with a big hug. 

“God damn, Bucky, you look great. Where have you been?” The statement was loud and stopped most of what was happening in the shop. Steve watched as the man who shouted hugged Bucky and looked him over. Steve was this side of growling, until Bucky answered. 

“I moved to Vermont and I’m a midwife again. I met the love of my life, mated and got married.” He turned to Steve and said, “Mike this is Steve, my alpha and husband. Steve, this is Mike, he used to cut my hair.”

“Nice to meet you, Mike.” Steve said with an extremely firm handshake. 

“Likewise. You good to this guy?” he asked, pointing to Bucky. “He deserved better. I hope you’re his better.”

“Mike…” Bucky said, the pink in his cheeks giving him away. 

Steve put his arm around Bucky, gently, not possessively. “He did deserve better. We definitely agree on that. I do my best every day to see he’s happy and has nothing to worry about.”

Mike gave a firm nod and then turned to Bucky. “Don’t tell me we’re cutting all that beautiful hair off, please...you always wanted to grow it out.”

“Oh, hell no! It’s just been growing wild, though. Maybe just a clean up for me, but Stevie here, he wants his all cut off, right?”

“I do, and something with my beard?” Steve asked, trying hard to digest the fact that Bucky must have come here to get his haircut because Brock made him and wouldn’t let him wear his hair the way he wanted.

Bucky’s pleading voice cut through. “Oh Steve, please don’t get rid of your beard, I love it.”

“No, no, no, just want it neatened up a bit, Buck. I like my beard, too.” 

“Well, let's start with you, Bucky. A wash, cut and style? I think a few layers with your texture would be all you need to shape that up.”

“What do you think, Steve?” Bcky asked as he went for the chair, but misjudged the footrest and tripped. Steve caught him quickly. “Careful, Buck. You okay, Sweetheart?”

“Sorry, that was silly, I just missed the step, there.”

“Is there any reason he’s treating a grown man like china that I should know about?” Mike asked.

Bucky looked at him and smiled softly. “No way!” Mike said. Bucky nodded. “Christ Bucky, it’s only been a few months!”

Bucky looked to Steve, then said, “It was kinda like it was meant to be.”

“Bucky’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” Steve responded with a smile and then leaned over for a kiss. “I love your hair, Sweetheart. You wear it anyway you want.”

Bucky looked like he enjoyed getting his haircut, and lost a couple of inches to split ends, but otherwise, he looked as beautiful as ever, just a little neater. 

“Step into my office,” Mike directed Steve, pointing to his chair. “We will keep that magnificent beard, I’ll just work my magic on it. What do you want for your hair? Do you have a style in mind, because I think I know just what to do...if you trust me.”

Steve looked at Bucky who’s eyes sparkled. With a quick nod of reassurance, Steve gave Mike the freedom to go to town. He did not regret at all what he saw in the mirror when Mike had finished. 

***

The restaurant was packed. It had a great feel, low lighting and candles on tables. Steve thought it would be a great dinner, he could smell the food already. They were shown to their seats, a quiet table in the corner and they ordered a bottle of sparkling water, some appetizers and dinner. Steve excused himself to go to the bathroom. 

Bucky did not seem to recognize anyone on staff yet but Steve thought maybe the place had changed hands. He dried his hands and stepped back into the dining room making his way back to their table. They had both changed after their haircuts and Steve may have put on the most fitted sweater he had brought with him. Bucky had bought it for him and Steve knew it showed off all of his assets. Looked like it might have been all for nothing until he rounded the corner and saw Bucky surrounded by a group of what appeared to be alphas. 

Bucky looked a little smug but also a little frightened. His face lit up when he saw Steve. The navy cable knit turtleneck Bucky wore brought out the blue in his eyes. Steve smiled at him and tried to ask with his eyes if these guys were Brock’s old buddies. Bucky gave an ever so slight nod and Steve approached the table with a swagger. Steve wasn’t a conceited asshole, but he knew he had a body and he knew with the haircut, he looked like he’d jumped off a GQ cover. 

He skirted the men talking with Bucky and greeted him, “Hey Buck, who are all these alpha’s backing my omega into the corner?” He leaned over and gave Bucky a gentle but lingering kiss before standing to face the group. 

“These are Brock’s old friends, guys, this is Steve, my alpha and my husband,” Bucky said with nearly audible glee. Lots of eyebrows left lots of foreheads. Steve knew it was on and he shook each of their hands like a vice grip.

“Nice to meet everyone, but let’s back up a bit, give Bucky here a little space.” He reached down and put his hand on Bucky’s flat belly and continued. “We don’t want the little guy or gal getting overwhelmed. Right, Buck.”

“Right, Steve.” Bucky answered his clever alpha. They had swooped on him the second the waiter had gone to place the order, full of questions and stunned to see him. He was just getting concerned about their intentions when he’d spotted Steve in his dark jeans and cream colored cashmere sweater, the one he’d picked out for Steve and that fit him sinfully tight. It showed everything an alpha should and still be decent for public consumption. 

Steve approached, nearly a foot taller and far broader than the rest and made a point of bending over to kiss Bucky and then sealed it with the belly pat. God Bucky fucking loved Steve. 

“Anyway, it was nice to see everyone. You’ve got a nice little spaghetti place here, but we were hoping for a romantic dinner for two,” Steve said with a mischievous smile only Bucky would recognize. 

“Oh sure,” they said and left the table awkwardly.

“You okay Buck?” Steve asked quietly after they left. 

“Never better, my handsome actor, I meant alpha,” Bucky said with a smirk. 

They left the restaurant stuffed and happy with cheesecake and cannolis for later at the hotel. 

***

The cemetery was a short drive across town from the hotel. Bucky was both eager to go and yet constantly rethinking going at all. It was a roller coaster of emotions to say the least. Steve, well Steve was the saint he usually was, reassuring Bucky that those feelings were probably very normal and that they had come all that way to Brooklyn, he should at least drive to the cemetery to be sure, but he would totally understand if Bucky changed his mind and couldn’t go. A saint. 

The same saint who had not initiated sex lst night until Bucky had nearly climbed him like a tree. The same sweet soul who had cautiously eased himself into Bucky as though he were made of glass, but still managed to take Bucky apart in just the way he had needed. The saint whose soft firmness always managed to hold Bucky together without making him feel inferior. Bucky loved that saint, his Steve, with all of his heart. 

“Buck, we’re here, Sweetheart,” Steve said as they turned into the cemetery drive. It was plowed but the stones were not cleared. Bucky had not thought of that. 

“Oh shit, Steve. I forgot about the snow,” Bucky lamented, feeling himself beginning to crumble. He felt a grounding hand firmly on the back on his neck.

“It’s all good, Buck, I took care of that with the grounds people. They did the heavy work, and I brought a shovel just in case.” 

“God, I love you, Steve.”

“I love you, too, Buck. I got you on this, it’s all gonna be fine. Take a few breaths and show me where to go.”

Bucky did just that and felt himself calm just enough to give Steve directions, though the shoveled row of graves helped as well. Steve put the truck in park just as Becca pulled in behind them in her own car, having driven from home. Isaac had stayed with the kids. They all met at the start of the shoveled path and hugged. 

It was a frigid morning and Steve adjusted Bucky’s scarf, wanting more than anything for that to remove any pain Bucky might feel today, knowing it would not. 

“Okay, Buck?” Steve asked with a chaste kiss of cold lips. 

“I usually go alone first, then wave Becca over. You can come with Becca, ‘kay Steve?” Bucky’s eyes began to shine as he spoke. 

“Whatever you need, Bucky, whatever, you name it,” Steve said with a warm smile and a firm nod. 

“Oh, wait, I forgot her teddy bear,” Bucky fretted, beginning to look panicked.

“It’s in the truck, sweetheart, I’ll get it.” Steve trotted off towards the vehicles to retrieve it.

Becca looked at Bucky and said, “He’s a good man, Bucky. I’m sorry I ever doubted.”

“He is Becs, he is. I’m so lucky,” Bucky replied, a tear finally spilling. Becca hugged him. Bucky let her. It had been years since he was able to allow himself to seek comfort from Becca because of Brock. Lots of things were healing this weekend and Bucky was flooded with gratitude. 

He heard Steve’s boots crunching the snowy path and lifted his head. Steve handed him the bear they had picked out from the toy store in Clear Water. It was a sweet little bear modeled after the black bears that were sometimes seen in the woods on the outskirts of Virgin River. They’d seen one when they were running once and it looked so cute Bucky had wanted to pet it. Bucky told Steve giving her this would be like giving her a piece of their happiness in Vermont. 

Bucky took a deep breath and hugged Becca, then kissed Steve. “Okay, here goes.” 

Steve watched Bucky walk down the path alone and it took all of his seldom used alpha strength to not run after him and offer his arm for support. His hands clenched and released and he felt Becca rub his back. 

“I can’t stand that he lost her. I can’t, Becca. He’s the nicest, most genuinely giving person I have ever met and that bastard did this to him. The worst part is I can’t fix that for him.” Steve choked back his tears knowing Bucky might need him. 

“Steve, you can’t fix Bucky. You can’t. You can't change anything that he has experienced. It’s done. But you have loved him from the get go and that has given Bucky the strength to fix what he can himself. My brother was a broken mess and you loved him anyway. All Bucky ever wanted was to be loved. That’s all you, Steve. Don’t try to fix him. Don’t feel bad about it. Just keep loving him while he fixes what he can with you by his side.” 

Steve was wiping tears from his eyes, now, crying at what Becca had shed healing light on, the deepest hurt Steve could admit. He felt a heaviness lift from the yoke on his shoulders. 

“Thank you, Becca,” was his simple response. He looked up to see that Bucky had reached Winnie’s grave. 

Bucky walked through the snow, shaking with emotion. He’d been here so many times it should not be this hard. He was struggling this time despite knowing it was irrational. He feared she would be upset. The path ended at her stone with a little standing room on the far side. 

Winifred Rumlow

It was so painful to see her name in stone. It was so plain. Bucky had not been able to choose the stone because Brock insisted on doing it so quickly, so it was all Brock. Name and date...the end. It was one of he biggest regrets of his entire loss. It broke him open and he began to sob...weeping for all that he did not get to have with her and all the ways he had let her down. Even after she was gone his crippling sadness had abandoned her chance to be remembered for the beautiful sweet girl she was to all who did not get to know her. He crumpled to his knees. 

Steve watched Bucky shake with sobs, even though it ripped his heart out. He’d asked for a chance to go alone first and Steve respected that, but when Bucky’s knees buckled, Steve moved quickly. Noone should feel that sad alone, especially not his Bucky. He must have heard Steve coming because he turned to Steve as he reached him.

“Oh Steve,” Bucky sobbed as he clung to Steve. Steve wrapped him tightly and squeezed as hard as he could, hoping to put the pieces of Bucky back together. 

“I love you, Bucky. I love you my sweet Bucky,” Steve tried desperately to soothe his broken omega. He really had no idea what to say other than how much he loved him. He rocked him and let him cry his heart out. When the sobs slowed and the hiccupped breaths hitched in his throat, Bucky began to say things...whisper things like they were awful secrets he had held for far too long. 

“I let her d-down, Steve,” Bucky said so softly Steve almost couldn’t hear him. 

“No, Buck, no you didn’t,” Steve tried to reassure him. 

“You don’t know. She does. I know I did. I feel awful about things I didn’t do for her.”

“Buck, you were hurt. You were injured when she was born. You couldn’t help what happened. What could you possibly feel responsible for?” Steve asked genuinely, holding Bucky’s face in his hands, his eyes searching Bucky’s. 

Bucky looked straight into Steve’s soul as he answered. “I didn’t touch her. I was afraid of her. Brock made me hold her but I wasn’t ready so I never touched her little face or hands.”

“Oh, Buck.” Steve just hurt to his core. “I think she knows that.” 

“I let Brock pick her clothes and her stone and she deserved better.” Steve cradled Bucky to his chest as Bucky whispered his confessions.

“She knows you were hurting, Buck. You can’t think she doesn’t know what was happening.”

“She was my baby and I let her down. She needed me. I’m sorry I wasn’t better…”

“Do you think it would help if you told her?” Steve asked, knowing full well Bucky didn’t owe anyone an apology for what happened. Bucky nodded.

“Talk to her, Bucky. Tell her what you want her to know.”

Bucky began to cry again in earnest, but little whispers escaped here and there. “I’m s-sorry I couldn’t touch you...or kiss you...I love you baby girl, but it was too soon. I was scared…”

“Good, Buck. She knows. She can hear you,” Steve soothed. Then Bucky began to talk to Steve. 

“I ache for her sometimes. Like when I help someone nurse their baby. I miss her...I miss what we never got to have.”

“I can't even imagine how painful that is, Bucky. I’m so sorry, you have to suffer through that. You’re such a brave man, you help so many people despite your pain. I love you so much.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes, until Becca joined them and then Steve let the two of them have a few minutes. He went back to the truck for the things he had brought for the visit. 

Steve set down the bag and poured the cocoa into cups from the thermos. He put in the marshmallows and took the cups to Bucky and Becca.

“Hey Buck, have some cocoa, you too Becca. Let’s have a little visit. You can introduce me to your girl...our girl, huh?”

Bucky took the cup, his red eyes wide in surprise. “Cocoa?”   
  


“Yeah, aren’t we having a little family party here?” Steve asked, hoping with his whole heart he could turn the mood without offending Bucky. 

“Well, I guess we are,” Bucky answered, still a little stunned. 

They stood around the stone and sipped their cocoa. Steve even brought out cookies from Bucky’s favorite bakery. 

“How?” Bucky asked.

“I have my ways, Buck,” Steve chuckled as they munched on peppermint and dark chocolate chunk cookies. After a short while, Becca made her way back to the truck.

“I’m a little cold, I think I’ll head to the truck, you guys take your time.”

Steve and Bucky sat in silence for a bit. Then Bucky took a deep breath and sighed. Steve kissed him on the temple and rubbed his back. Bucky took Steve’s hand and began to speak.

“Sweet Winnie, I brought someone to meet you. This is Steve. He’s my new mate.” The shortened sentences with pauses were all Bucky could manage without breaking down again. 

“He’s incredible. He wants to meet you, says he loves you already...Steve this is my Winnie,” he managed before burying his face in Steve’s neck. Steve held him tight as he spoke.

“Hey Winnie. I’m Steve, and I’m glad to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you. I know you know your Daddy did his best when you came, he feels bad, but we both know he shouldn’t, don’t we,” Steve sniffled a bit and took a breath. Bucky cried softly as Steve continued. 

“I sure love your Daddy, a lot. I like to think that means I love you, too. I hope that you might think it’s okay if I call myself your Dad. I feel like we could get along well. To show you how excited I am to come visit, I brought you some things.”

Steve went back to his bag and got the wrapped presents he had brought. He handed them to Bucky who unwrapped them. Steve jabbed the pinwheel into the ground and the wind immediately made it spin. He put the bucket of shapes against the stone and then blew the bubbles that Bucky opened next. 

Steve was relieved when Bucky laughed and popped the bubbles. They played a bit longer, then Bucky put the teddy bear next to the shape bucket. Then he said gently, “We’re gonna go, baby girl, but your Dad and I will be in town for a few days and we’ll come back every morning, right?” Bucky looked up at Steve for support.

“You bet. Daddy and I will be back tomorrow. Bye Bye, sweet Winnie. We love you.”

Bucky hesitated when Steve tried to go towards the truck. 

“Winnie, there’s one more thing I want to tell you, even though you probably already know it. You’re going to be a big sister. Dad and I are going to have a baby. We won’t love you any less when he or she comes, and we’ll bring them to visit, okay?”

Steve held Bucky while they walked to the truck and helped him into his seat. Their noses and eyes were read from cold and emotion as Steve started the truck. 

“Thanks for today, Buck,” Steve said with a smile. “It was nice to meet her. I mean it.”

Bucky choked out a sob. “I know you mean it. I don’t know what to say to you. You’re incredible and I’m so grateful to you. I feel so much better...almost whole again. I owe that to you. I love you Steve, so much I can’t even express it.” 

“You just did, Buck,” Steve said, leaning in for a kiss and a pat to Bucky’s belly. 

***

The rest of the weekend was filled with morning trips to the cemetery to blow bubbles and have more picnics. Steve loved that Bucky’s visits became lighter and lighter. They visited all of Bucky’s old favorite places as he showed Steve around his Brooklyn. They spent time with Becca and her family, Steve getting to know them better. The back seat of the truck was full of treasures from Bucky’s favorite bagel shop and deli, and with more of the challah, soup and rugelach that Becca made for them. 

It was a painful yet healing weekend and as they drove back on Sunday, Bucky seemed to have had a weight lifted from his shoulders. Steve looked over at Bucky and smiled as the omega chattered away about nursery ideas and whatever seemed to pop into his mind. They had so much life in front of them, and after this weekend, nothing in their past could cast a shadow on that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided that my next story will indeed be a Married at First Sight Stucky fic. Bucky will be a kindergarten teacher and Steve a homicide detective. One of them will be a virgin. Shenanigans will happen! Thoughts on that???


	25. Peaks and Valleys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky settles into the first trimester of his pregnancy...not without its peaks and valleys. Sam and Sharon have a plan for the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is totally unedited, but I wanted to get you something for being so patient...I hope you enjoy the ups and downs our new dads work through.

“Bucky, I’m okay with not being able to have sex for a while.” 

As the words left his lips, he realized that they were being taken in the exact opposite way that he meant to utter them, not in the supportive loving way he intended. He could see the shift in Bucky's features, the wrinkling of his forehead, the drop in the corners of his mouth, his soulful eyes filling with tears. 

To make matters worse, Steve’s still interested, hard cock was technically still halfway inside Bucky where he had stopped when he saw Bucky wincing instead of sighing during the first thrust. 

As if he could get further down the proverbial rabbit hole, Steve saw Bucky’s mouth draw into an even tense line and his eyes close, causing the newly formed tears to fall down the sides of Bucky’s face into his ears. Steve was clearly fucked because Bucky was clearly not fucked. 

The silence was deafening.

Just moments ago Bucky had called Steve to bed and pulled Steve’s body onto his own, opening his thighs in acceptance, saying sweetly, “Make me feel better alpha.” 

They had begun eagerly, Steve wanting to comfort his mate in the way that he had so lovingly requested, easy and fun, kissing and nuzzling, until the resistance from the lack of slick had caused Steve to put the brakes on. It was not the first time Bucky’s body had not been in tune with his desires for he and Steve to make love. 

Steve, of course, had been accommodating when it happened. It was a natural part of Bucky’s body adjusting to the pregnancy and they had discussed it at length. This was the last straw for Bucky it seemed to Steve. No matter how bad things got, Bucky always sought Steve for intimate comfort at some point. That is until the last few times he had tried. Steve ached to help Bucky feel better, but it seemed to no avail. They were being temporarily robbed of this closeness. 

Now, Steve held himself over his mate, his sweet and sweet smelling pregnant mate, and waited for his brain to figure out how to help his stupid ass get out of this incredibly awkward situation. 

_Get your dick out of him, you idiot_ , was the first intelligent thing his brain finally came up with. 

“Buck, Sweetheart, I’m gonna...it’s not safe, so I’m gonna kinda…” Steve scrambled for a gentle way to say it and just ended up with crudeness. “Buck, I’m gonna pull out so I don’t hurt you.”

Bucky hissed as Steve did just that, which confirmed Steve’s decision to stop, and then rolled away from his alpha, curling into a sulky ball. This was just the nail in the coffin of the first signs of early pregnancy symptoms that had stopped Bucky in his tracks. Steve felt for Bucky, apparently he had not had many of the early inconveniences while he carried Winnie. 

It had started with incredible fatigue. Bucky fell asleep anywhere at any time, at work between patients, at the dinner table, the second he got in the passenger seat of a moving vehicle, and so on. They had talked to Dr. Ross on the phone, they were still waiting for their first appointment in Burlington, and he said Bucky could run and that it might help his energy level, so they had tried that, but Bucky could barely get in a mile before he was too tired to go on. So no running, and Bucky was bummed, but okay with it. He walked instead. 

Nausea hit next and unfortunately the first time it reared its ugly head was in the meat section of the grocery store. Steve and Bucky were doing their Saturday shopping and out of nowhere, Bucky took one look at the raw chicken in the butcher’s case and puked up his entire breakfast. He had not eaten an omelette since then. The nausea came and went with no rhyme or reason and Steve found himself asking Dr. Ross gruffly, “Why the hell do they call it morning sickness when Bucky gets it all damn day and night. Can’t you help him? It’s so hard to watch him suffer.”

Of course, Bucky did not know Steve was calling a second time. Bucky had already told Steve there was nothing he or anyone else could do, it just had to work its course and eventually it would stop...he hoped. 

Bucky had still been okay with all the symptoms, even laughing when Steve clapped a hand to Bucky’s chest playfully one night at dinner at the bar. Bucky had been feeling better than he typically did, so they had gone to meet with Sam and Sharon about the proposal Sam had for Steve about the bar. 

They were eating lobster mac and cheese, one of Bucky’s favorite luxury treats that Sam made, and going over the fact that Sam wanted to run the bar for Steve so he and Bucky could be on the same schedule, working days. 

Sam concluded, “So, I will take over the payments, run the bar with Sharon and the new veteran’s rehabilitation program workers, and you can do the books and ordering during the day. That way you can work from here or home and I don’t have to worry about that crap.”

“You sure about that?” Steve had asked, honestly relieved to be free of the night shift without feeling like he was deserting Sam on a regular basis.

“You know you only opened this place to keep yourself busy, to keep both of us busy,” Sam answered.

“But it seems like you’re taking on so much. What if you want a family at some point?” Steve asked.

“We kind of want to get this veteran’s program running, maybe that’s our family,” Sharon answered for them. “You both know Bucky is not going to want to stop practicing and this way you can take care of the baby and still have a part time income and something to keep you involved with the community. It’s what we want, if you do.”

“I think it’s perfect,” Bucky’s voice thick with emotion. He cried easily, another effect the pregnancy had on him. “Think about it Steve. I want to keep working and you could be the stay at home Dad.”

Steve pictured himself heavily involved in the care of their child and had worried about how to do that while working until two in the morning. How would Bucky do it all by himself after taking care of the baby or working all day. This was the answer they needed.

“I like it, too, as long as you two are sure,” Steve agreed.

“We are!” Sam and Sharon answered together. Sharon added quietly, “We want to add a coffee shop and bakery if you don’t mind.”

“If I mind??? I can walk here and get coffee? Who would mind that!” Steve laughed. 

“It would let Sharon have a real kitchen and eliminate the need for the truck. We could maybe start at the end of the bar and eventually build on,” Sam added.

“Where do I sign?” Steve laughed again full of relief. He had thought Sam and Sharon had just wanted to help. Now he realized they had significant plans and the feeling of being free from owning a business was liberating. “I’m gonna be a stay at home Dad, Buck!”

Bucky leaned in for a kiss and said, “Sounds like a plan!”

Steve reached beside him and patted Bucky on the chest, a playful habit he had, nothing sexual to it, just a love pat. Bucky gasped and curled in on himself and Steve was horrified.

“Buck, Sweetheart, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Steve asked, rubbing Bucky’s back in an effort to apologize and soothe him. 

It took Bucky a second or two but he smiled, cheeks pink, and replied, “Now this I remember. I’m fine, just sensitive. No more love taps, Honey.” 

Steve cradled Bucky’s head against him. “Sorry, Buck. I’ll remember.”

That night, the achy chest, seemed to cue the rest of the early onset symptoms that inconvenienced Bucky. Over the next few weeks he peed almost constantly, needing a bathroom every time he turned around. The nausea suppressed his appetite and he began to lose weight. When he _could_ eat, everything gave him heartburn.

“We are gonna have a hairy baby, Steve, with this much heartburn,” Bucky had teased and then cried. His emotions hit peaks and valleys from one minute to the next. He took it all in stride, but not being able to have sex, it seemed, was his breaking point.

Now Steve lay naked and worried in their bed, Bucky refusing to even look at him and Steve was truly concerned. He tried to fix what he had done...retract what he had said.

“Buck, Hon, I didn’t mean I don’t want to have sex, I meant-”

“I know what you meant,” Bucky interrupted. “I’m just disappointed and scared.”

Steve sighed in relief that Bucky spoke to him. “Scared about me? Or what?”

Bucky breathed loudly for a minute, Steve could hear him fighting tears. He gave him the time he needed. 

“Sometimes I think that I am sick of feeling shitty and I am afraid that the baby will think I don’t love them and don’t want them,” Bucky managed to get out and then cried. 

“Oh Bucky, no Sweetheart, no…” Steve soothed and reached an arm around Bucky's waist, thrilled when Bucky turned over and reached for him as well. Steve pulled Bucky’s thinning frame close as Bucky made himself small and snuffled at Steve’s neck. “It’s alright, you can hate the being sick part without hating being pregnant, Buck. They baby knows we’re so happy.”

“You r-really think so?” Bucky sniffed and wiped his eyes on Steve’s sleeve, which delighted Steve to no end. He loved that Bucky could look to Steve for help. 

“I know so, Bucky Barnes Rogers, I _know_ so. Complain to me all you want. This is hard work, being pregnant and you’re doing a great job of it. You’re the ultimate Daddy, and you feel like shit right now. If we can’t help you with sex, we’ll find another way to make you feel better, okay?”

“I love you, Steve,” Bucky said quietly. “You’re the best alpha, you know that don’t you?”

“I know I’m the luckiest for sure, ‘cause I’ve got you both,” Steve answered and he made it his goal to step up his game so Bucky felt more sure of airing his feelings. 

Bucky could not settle down to sleep and honestly Steve was restless himself. Steve felt Bucky’s hand snake down his belly and moaned as Bucky stroked him and rutted his own erection into Steve’s thigh. Steve could feel himself filling, firming up in Bucky’s palm.

“We don’t have to fuck to have a little fun,” Bucky whispered into Steve’s ear, making his toes curl. 

Steve chuckled and grabbed a palm full of Bucky’s ass and pulled him harder into him, rolling his own hips into Bucky’s hand, seeking more friction. “That’s true, Buck. Lot’s of fun things if you’re up for it.”

“Do I not feel up for it?” Bucky asked, rubbing himself insistently against Steve. 

‘Hey, Buck?”

“Yeah…”

“I wanna suck you off,” Steve said, nuzzling Bucky’s mating mark, scraping his teeth over the bite. 

“Please, Stevie...I need it,” Bucky hummed, almost purring. 

Steve pushed Bucky flat on his back and gave his cock a firm squeeze. He kissed his way down from Bucky’s neck, stopping for gentle kisses to each of his tender nipples, careful not to cause him any discomfort. He moved quickly down Bucky’s belly to his leaking cock and wasted no time sucking the head into his mouth.

Bucky jerked up into Steve’s mouth, unable to control hips. Steve held him down firmly but sure not to make him feel too restricted, just enough to control the depth at which he took Bucky’s cock into his throat. 

Steve worked him over thoroughly with his mouth and hand. Bucky was not as big as Steve, but his cock was much larger than most male omegas, thick and beautiful, almost velvety to the touch. He swirled around the head with each pass and stopped to tongue Bucky’s slit every few strokes. Bucky tasted fantastic, filling Steve’s mouth with a warm, earthy, almost herbally flavor...a hint of lavender but sweeter, like Bucky’s sweet floral scent now that he was pregnant. 

It wasn’t long before Bucky was panting and grabbing at Steve’s head, threading his fingers into his hair and whimpering at Steve’s efforts. Steve doubled down, taking Bucky into his throat, lips stretched and spit slick around the breadth of Bucky’s cock. Bucky came with a groan, huffing out breath after breath as he came down from his orgasm. 

Bucky moved to reciprocate, but Steve stopped him. “Buck, thanks, but I wanted you to feel better. How about you snuggle with me and I take care of myself tonight?”

Knowing he could never really blow Steve right now with his sensitive gag reflex, Bucky conceded and crawled over to be out of the way of Steve’s right arm. Bucky and Steve kissed and Bucky feathered his fingers over Steve’s body as he jerked himself off. 

“Fuck , Bucky,” Steve shouted as Bucky sucked his nipples and caressed his balls, squeezing just the way Steve liked. He came with his hand buried in Bucky’s hair, come pooling in his belly button and up as far as his chest. 

They lay quietly together, smiling and snuggling carefully around the mess until Steve got up and hustled to the bathroom to clean up. He crawled back in bed and held Bucky close. 

“Thanks, Steve. I really needed this...”

“Bucky, anything for you. We can do it, Sweetheart. You’re so brave and we’re gonna get through this.”

“Together...We’re gonna get there together,” Bucky said with a yawn.

It was contagious and Steve yawned next. “Always together, Sweetheart, always…”

He stroked his fingers through Bucky’s hair until he fell asleep. Steve, happy to have the evening end so sweetly, kissed Bucky’s still flat belly, the belly that held a lifetime of memories not yet made, and then drifted off himself. 

***

Bucky’s first visit at eight weeks to Dr. Ross in Burlington went well. His bloodwork was good and his sonogram for placental placement was normal. 

“Bucky, your pictures look great. There's the placenta, nice and high right now, just what we want to see. We will continue to check that each month when you come,” Dr. Ross pointed to each thing on the screen when spoke. 

Steve, ever the worrywart piped in, asking, “What do you mean for _now_? Can it move or something and do what it did before?”

Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand as Dr. Ross answered. “Bucky knows this already, but I’ll explain it to you. The placenta attaches to the uterine wall, but can sort of migrate as it grows. Right now it’s perfectly placed, probably won’t spread much, but in rare cases, it can move to the front or back of the uterus and sort of block the way. In really rare cases, like Bucky’s first pregnancy, it can cover the cervix and then we would do a cesarean section. I doubt that will happen, but anything is possible, which is why we are calling Bucky high risk and monitoring him. That and his unique journey to this pregnancy.”

Bucky chuckled at Steve as he paled during the medical jargon, patting him on the chest. “Easy, alpha. This was a lot but all’s good right now, that’s all we need to know.” 

Dr. Ross smiled. “That’s a great attitude, Bucky. Now all we have left is a quick exam and you will be done for the day. Oh wait, I forgot to ask if you’d like to hear the heartbeat.”

“Do we? Of course we do. Get ready Stevie, you’re not gonna believe this…” Bucky said with a huge smile across his face. “C’mere Honey. Come watch and listen.”

Steve stood next to the gurney Bucky lay on and Bucky wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. Dr. Ross took the wand and externally manipulated it until a loud whooshing noise matched the pulsing blip on the screen. Dr. Ross pointed to it.

“Is that…” Steve swallowed around the huge lump in his throat.

“Yeah, Daddy, that’s your doing in there. That’s our baby’s heart beating.” Bucky’s eyes shone as he spoke, tears of true joy forming, threatening to spill. 

“Buck, Sweetheart...I can’t believe how...I can’t…” Steve was overcome with joy himself as he watched and listened. He smiled through happy tears and wiped them away so he could see clearly, not wanting to miss a moment of the magic before him. “God, Bucky, I love you so much. You are amazing.”

Steve turned to Dr. Ross and asked, “Can I record it with my phone so I can hear it later?”

“I’ll do you one better. Shuri here will get you some photos, email you a video of the sonogram and make the heartbeat your phone ringtone. How’s that?”

“That’s perfect, just perfect,” Steve said, still stunned and glued to the screen and the rapid thumping whoosh. 

Bucky was thrilled to hear the sound of a healthy heartbeat, but nothing today would top how Steve looked at him during the scan...the look of gratitude, of utter flabbergasted awe...not even the uncomfortable exam that ended their visit could dull that feeling. 

The next morning Bucky went to get some jelly for his toast and smiled at the handmade frame Steve had made for the ultrasound picture on the refrigerator. Steve snuck up behind him and placed both hands on his belly. 

“How you feeling today, Buck?”

“Good, Stevie...pretty damn good.” 


	26. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve work through the worst parts of the pregnancy for Bucky and then do they actually begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All, Sorry so long in updating. COVID is a BITCH when you work in a school, much less if you are in charge of the place! Anywhoooo, Happy Thanksgiving a day late. I would have been here sooner but was put out of commission by Chris Evans and his thirst posts. The piano/sweater and then that scare video with the arms...the nerve. 
> 
> Back to business, lots of warnings here for normal pregnancy illness. If you are squeamish about barf, skip ahead a bit. We get some more caretaker Steve and Bcuky needs new clothes, so ROADTRIP! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy when the shenanigans take place semipublicly. 
> 
> Little to no editing...busy times.

Steve leaned against the counter in the kitchen of the cabin taking long draws off of a cold beer. He drained it and put it on the counter beside him. He cringed when he heard Bucky vomiting in the bathroom, _again_. He would rather be in the bathroom, holding Bucky’s hair out of his face or rubbing his back, but over the past month or so, he had learned to read what his omega needed. Tonight it was clear Bucky needed space.

They woke up together, unlike most recent Friday mornings. It had been a while since Steve had not woken to the sound of Bucky puking in the bathroom. Steve thought it might be a good sign that they were moving past the first trimester symptoms. He was so wrong. Bucky slowly began to wake up, then went rigid and flung the covers off in an effort to get to the bathroom. 

It had developed into a bad day, despite the promising warm May weather. It started with nausea so bad that Bucky had called Bruce to say he would not be working. That did not happen often either, so Steve knew it was gonna be a long one. Bucky had leaned into Steve and let his alpha hold him for a while, but became more distant as the day progressed. Steve had understood and Bucky reassured him he was fine, but asked Steve to stop touching him. It was torture...for them both.

Bucky suffered through the nausea and Steve suffered watching. It was heart wrenching. The midwife side of Bucky insisted it would pass, but that was weeks ago. The omega side of Bucky was now sixteen weeks pregnant and in his second month of misery. Today was far worse than most, though. Steve knew there was only so much either of them, especially Bucky, could take. 

Bucky had eaten nothing all day, barely keeping down water or weak, sugary tea that Steve made for him. Steve had tried to intervene and get Doc, but the mixed look of sadness and anger on Bucky’s face had stopped him. Now he was waiting it out, hoping the wave would end soon and Steve could convince Bucky to call or go to the hospital. The nausea had never been quite this bad. 

It was suddenly quiet and Steve thought maybe Bucky was finally done and ready to let him help with the clean up. 

“Buck, how you doing in there? Can I come in?” Steve asked after a gentle knock.

“Stevie…” Bucky choked out. “Gonna have to call Bruce for me...It’s both ends now.”

Steve’s stomach was in his throat as he went back to the kitchen to grab his cell. “Bucky, let me come in...please?”

The door was not locked but Steve made a promise to Bucky to give him space when asked. It was a stupid fucking promise, but he’d never broken his word to Bucky. Steve would not cross that threshold uninvited while Bucky was responding, no matter how painful it was for him. He clutched at the door jam, in anticipation of the answer to his request.

“It’s bad, Stevie. You won’t-”

“Bucky, if you say it’s too gross for me to help you, I swear to God!” Steve said loudly, doing his best to curb his annoyance at the self deprecating attitude from his omega. 

“It’s the fucking truth!” Bucky retorted angrily.

“God damn it Bucky, for better or for worse, right? In sickness and in health?”

“We didn’t say those vows, you punk...It’s your nose if you wanna-”

Steve burst through the door as Bucky finished, “come in.” Steve’s senses were assaulted as he entered the bathroom with the acrid scent of vomit and diarrhea. He fought his facial features from showing a reaction to the putrid smell, but it was the sight of Bucky naked on the toilet with the white plastic garbage can in his lap that broke Steve. 

“Oh, Buck...Babe…” Steve consoled as he crossed the room. There were dirty piles of clothes Bucky must have dropped each time he got sick or had an accident. “Hang on for me, I’m gonna grab a basket.”

Steve returned with a laundry basket and scooped up the dirty piles as he made his way to Bucky. Bucky was dry heaving into the can and as he did, Steve could hear the bodily fluids making their exit at the other end. Bucky was pale and his eyes were rimmed with red and bloodshot. 

Steve knew that Bucky had waited too long to call and was in trouble. 

“Don’t say it Stevie,” Bucky, said. “I can’t deal with it...don’t”

Steve grabbed a face cloth, wet it and squeezed out the extra water before heading back to Bucky, taking the garbage can he was temporarily done with, and washing his face. 

“No, Buck. I’m just gonna help, okay. What do you want me to tell Bruce? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“No hospital. Not going. Dial and I’ll talk to him.”

Steve finished Bucky’s face, he really needed a shower, flushed the toilet under Bucky and hit Bruce’s contact on his phone. 

“Hey Steve, everything okay?” he heard Bruce say.

“S’me Bruce and I’m not doing so hot. Think you can come take a look? I know I need an IV to stop the vomiting. Plus I’ve got the runs pretty bad, too.”

Steve no longer heard Bruce but Bucky was trying to concentrate. 

“Nope, I’m not going unless you get here and tell me you can’t help me.” Bucky answered with his familiar stubborn independent tone. “Kay, thanks.”

Bucky handed back the phone and Steve said, “Think you can handle a shower before Bruce comes?”

“Please, I gotta get this place picked up a bit, I don’t want-”

“Babe, let me take care of all this, you just need to get rinsed off so Bruce can take a look at you.” 

Steve walked over and started the shower. He adjusted the water and then approached Bucky. 

“Steve, I’m a mess, just let me do this.’

Steve knelt down and wrapped Bucky in his arms. “I love you, Bucky.”

“I’m sorry, Steve,” Bucky said quietly, his cheeks turning bright pink. “I’m so sorry for…” Bucky began to cry. 

“Nothin’ to be sorry for, Babe. If anyone should be sorry, it’s me. You’re doing all the heavy lifting here and I can’t even bring you comfort, make you feel better,” Steve’s voice caught as he spoke. “Let’s get you moving before we both start bawling, ‘kay?”

Steve lifted Bucky to his feet, smell, mess and all, and walked him to the shower. He left the door open and turned Bucky so his backside could be rinsed off. He took the shower head down and rinsed him all over before putting it back. He lathered up Bucky’s hair and rinsed it, then scrubbed him carefully, all over with soap before using the shower head to rinse him again. 

Steve kept him at arms length and dried him quickly before walking Bucky to the bedroom for new clothes. The room was wrecked with the evidence of Bucky’s morning sickness. Grabbing boxers, sweats and a t-shirt, he took Bucky right to the couch. Steve knew that was clean because it had been his refuge all day. He dressed Bucky and gave him a clean bucket in case he got sick. 

“Call me if you need the bathroom. Otherwise, stay put.” Steve said with a kiss to Bucky’s head. “I love you my sweet Bucky. It’s all going to be okay.”

Steve cleaned the bathroom with lightning speed, tossing all the nasty clothes in the washer down the hall. He managed to strip the bed and clean the bedroom, opening the windows to allow fresh air into both rooms. That along with the cleaner he sprayed, reduced the smell greatly. 

“Steve!” Bucky shouted weakly. “I need the bathroom.”

Steve got Bucky to the toilet just in time. All surfaces and clothing remained clean. “There, you go, Buck. Stay there while I rinse off and change, okay?”

Bucky nodded and dry heaved into the bucket. Steve took the quickest shower of his life, threw on sweats and a t-shirt and got back to Bucky. 

He knelt in front of Bucky, and held him close now that they were both clean. Bucky dry heaved a couple of times but they both knew not even bile was coming up anymore. 

“Couch?” Steve asked after a few more minutes. Bucky nodded. Steve got a wet washcloth and cleaned Bucky before helping him pull up his pants. 

They were on the couch, Steve sitting with Bucky in his arms, holding him like a child when Bruce arrived with Nat in tow. 

“Hope you don’t mind I brought back up. Oh Geez, Buck! You waited too long,” Bruce’s voice sounding his exasperation at what they all knew was Bucky’s stubborn independent streak.

Bucky shuddered at the comment. Steve put up his hand as a friendly alpha warning for Bruce to back off. 

“Alright, alright, I know, let’s just get you feeling better, okay Bucky?” Bruce sighed as he unpacked his bags onto the coffee table in front of Steve and Bucky. 

“Nat, you wanna bring me a clean cloth I can use as a hot compress?” Bruce called over his shoulder towards the kitchen area. He looked back at Bucky. “I’m just warning you now, it may be too late for me to find a vein, Buddy. I’ll do my best.”

That seemed to be the breaking point for Bucky. He was quiet, but his eyes spilled over with tears and Steve lost it. He pulled Bucky tightly to his chest and sobbed. Bucky weighed almost nothing, he had sunken eyes, no color in his skin...Steve knew better.

Steve should have stepped in.

He could hear Bucky saying, “It’s okay, Steve. I’m okay.” 

Steve should be comforting Bucky, not the other way around. He had failed Bucky as his alpha, but no more. Steve took a deep breath and steeled himself. He reached for the tissues on the end table next to him and first, he wiped Bucky’s face and then his own. He looked up at Doc. 

“What can I do to help?”

It was pretty much a blur after that. Doc did manage to get an IV on the first try and Bucky needed two bags of fluid. He fell asleep in Steve’s arms within a half hour of the first drops of fluid entering his body. Doc helped him get up from the couch and get Bucky settled. He brushed Bucky’s hair from his face and went to finish the cleanup from earlier. 

Once the bed was remade and the remnants of the awful day were remedied, Doc and Steve had a long talk about Bucky’s current situation. Doc gave Steve literature on helping an omega with extended morning sickness. Nat had already started cooking and preparing some of the things recommended for Bucky’s diet. She had a clear broth going in their soup pot, and cut up lots of fresh fruit. 

When Bucky woke he was more his natural color and was open to trying something to eat. Doc hung a third bag of fluid and he and Nat left with the promise that he would come back about midnight to check the IV and maybe even remove it. 

Steve put two bowls on the end table and then helped Bucky to move so Steve was sitting on the couch and Bucky was nestled back in his arms. Bucky’s head lay in the crook of Steve’s elbow, his face against Steve’s chest. Steve struggled to make eye contact, this was not going to be an easy conversation. Bucky could sway Steve like no one ever had before. Steve needed to run the show for a while. Bucky had lost his edge, his ability to be self aware of the level of his needs.

“Steve-”

“Bucky, I can’t do this again. I was scared.”

“I know, Honey, I’m sorry. I scared myself this time, too. I was just going to say that you should ignore me when I say I am fine if you think it’s gonna get like this again.”

Steve let out a sigh of relief and looked down into Bucky’s eyes. “Yeah, good. I never try to alpha up on you, Buck...but you’ve kinda lost the ability to judge your own health and I am going to step in if I need to...even if it makes you mad.”

“I get it.” Bucky said softly. 

“Okay, now let's focus on getting you back on track. I’ve been working with Doc and Nat on some nutrition info, plus I am gonna keep researching it. You’re gonna be taken care of for a while, Buck. I’m not gonna harp, but I’m also not taking no for an answer. Got it?”

“Okay, Punk, I’m all yours.” Bucky chuckled as Steve finger fed him a blueberry. They sat on the couch for the rest of the night, Bucky getting up only to use the bathroom. He was a little nauseous at times, but there was no more vomiting or diarrhea. 

Bruce came at midnight and removed the IV. He gave Bucky a look like he’d better call earlier next time before ruffling his hair and then placing a quick, nervous kiss to his forehead. 

Steve turned out all the lights and joined Bucky who had already gone to the bedroom. Bucky snuggled into Steve as they got comfortable. Steve kissed Bucky chastley on the lips. 

“I love you, Bucky. Good night.”

“Night, Stevie, love you, too.”

Bucky slept the entire night. Steve knew because he watched him. 

***

By Sunday, Bucky was back to his new normal, moving around but not really eating a lot. Steve put a plate of breakfast in front of Bucky, all foods Bucky liked, but cut into tiny pieces.

“Steve, why is this all cut up?”

“It’s like this, I’ve been feeding you tiny bites of food since the IV and you’ve kept it down. This is the next step. Small bites are part of the system when you have severe morning sickness.

“I don’t have _severe_ morning sickness!” Bucky protested. 

The lifted eyebrow was the only response Steve gave and it was all that was needed. 

Bucky picked up a tiny square of pancake and ate it. He picked up two the next time, when Steve had turned around to the stove to grab the whistling kettle. 

“One square at a time, Mr. Barnes-Rogers. That’s the new deal.”

Bucky finished the food in the manner Steve intended to his delight, and drank a mug of peppermint tea. “Peppermint is your new friend, Buck.”

“Hello, Bucky Barnes-Rogers, Midwife?” Bucky sarcasm oozed as he held out his hand to Steve. 

“Whole lotta good that did you when you ignored all the signs in your own body, _Midwife_. Hello, Steve Rogers, annoying alpha who loves research and now knows his shit,” Steve snarked back, pulling Bucky in for a kiss at the end. The kiss was sweet, and contained all the things Steve’s soul was begging for Bucky to understand that Steve needed him to do and to let Steve do for him. Bucky must have felt every iota of it.

“Alright, Steve. I understand. I just didn’t have any of this last time and…” he paused and swallowed hard. “I’m struggling…”

Steve came around the island to wrap his arms around Bucky. “I know you are, Buck. Let me help with the food and stuff, you focus on work and still doing your thing. You just need to tell me when it’s going south so I can help sooner, okay?”

Bucky buried his face in Steve’s neck and nodded. Steve just held him for a while before changing the subject. 

“You up to the weekly pics today?”

“Sure I am,” Bucky answered, voice a little wet with emotion. 

Steve gave him another squeeze. “I’ll get the board ready, you get the shirts, how’s that sound?”

Bucky came out of the bedroom in a plain white t shirt. He threw Steve’s on the island while Steve got the letter board ready. He changed out a few letters and numbers to make it right, then slipped his current shirt off over his head and put on the white one, careful of his hair for the picture. 

They were using the same wall in the living room for each photo. Steve had found pinterest after googling things about babies a few times with Becca on their weekend in Brooklyn, and now he was a dangerous pinner. This letter board idea started then. They had taken their first photo at 3 weeks, an estimate just in case and luckily after their first appointment in Burlington, their _guesstimation_ was confirmed. 

Every Sunday began the new week of the pregnancy in photo terms. Today he peeled the backing from the _17 weeks pregnant_ sticker and put it on the sleeve of Bucky’s t shirt so They could see it when he turned sideways. Bucky lifted his shirt and turned as Steve got his phone ready. There was no need for the weekly photo yet, Bucky’s belly looked no different. Bucky was a stocky omega and told Steve he’d hardly looked pregnant with Winnie until the last month or so, but Steve had bought the stickers and it seemed a shame not to use them. So Bucky obliged Steve and his obsession. 

“Here we go, 17 weeks, Buck. He was getting the shot perfect and was just about to snap the photo when he saw it. 

A tiny bump. He lowered the camera and blinked. He tried again and it was still there. 

“Come on Rogers, take the shot,” Bucky quipped.

“Buck...look down, Sweetheart,” Steve said softly. 

“Oh,” Bucky said as he looked down and clearly saw his own burgeoning belly. “I guess I sorta popped out overnight. Huh?”

He looked up at Steve with his small crooked smile and Steve snapped the photo. He looked at it and it was instantly one of his favorites. 

Steve set the camera on the shoebox used just for this purpose, and then carried the board over with him to Bucky. It read Baby Barnes-Rogers on the first line, then 17 weeks and beneath it, May 13 and the year. Steve stood behind Bucky, their faces close, his hand on Bucky’s forward shoulder. He held the sign out so you could read it and still see Bucky’s belly. 

The timer went off and the photo clicked and then Steve enveloped Bucky, kissing him fiercely.

“God, Buck. You’re so beautiful. I love you so much,” and then Bucky lost Steve to his knees where he was kissing Bucky’s tiny belly bump with sweet affection. 

“Hello in there...It’s your Dad out here, loving you already! Thanks for getting bigger and hanging in there.” 

Bucky ran one hand through Steve’s gelled hair and wiped his eyes with the other. “You’re such a sap, Rogers...Such a sap and I love you for it.”

***

Steve’s nutrition plan, thank you Sam for making it so Steve could work flexible hours and take good care of Bucky, seemed to be working because Bucky began to just blossom under the doting of his alpha. 

“Hey Buck? I think I figured something out.” Steve’s voice came from the speaker of Bucky’s phone. 

“What’s that?” Bucky said eating little squares of peanut butter toast from his lunch box in his office. He also had tiny carrot and celery sticks with chive cream cheese, grapes cut in half, cubes of havarti cheese and rolled up slices of real turkey breast that Steve had roasted himself since deli meat was on the forbidden list Steve had created. 

“I think you don’t feel good when you wear regular clothes, but you do when you wear your work scrubs. Maybe your clothes are getting tight.”

“Hmmm,” Bucky thought. He smiled around a mouthful of grapes, Steve would die if he saw he’d put four whole grape halves into his mouth. “I don’t know, I’ll try to pay attention to it. Thanks for super obsessing about my every move, there alpha.”

“You bet, smart ass. I’m here to help,” Steve answered, deadpan. “Also, stop shoving your mouth full and eat one bite at a time. See you later…” 

The phone clicked and Bucky laughed out loud. May came into his office. 

“What’s so funny?”

“That little shit doesn’t miss a thing. He figured out my pants are getting tight.”

“So get new pants,” May said with a giggle.

“Oh ho ho, but you and I know it is not that simple. Steve will make it a quest beyond all quests for the perfect pregnancy wardrobe. I mean you saw how he was at Valentine’s day. He gets into it.”

“Aww, Bucky, you’re so lucky you’ve found the only perfect alpha on the planet. I know, I’ve tried to find just a decent one.”

“I know, May. I’m mostly teasing, but you have to admit he does go over the top. All he needs is the eyeglasses on the string and he could be the old lady at the research desk at the library in Clear Water.”

“All I know is you two are pretty darn happy and that belly of yours is too big for your pants or he wouldn’t know. Suck it up and indulge him. He’s a sweetheart.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky said, continuing the facade. 

****

Bucky was nearly twenty weeks when he felt truly well enough to go clothes shopping. It was the last weekend in May, Memorial weekend, and Steve had surprised him with another trip to Brooklyn knowing the stores and selections would be better for Bucky there. They were staying with Becca and her family this time. Steve wanted to have a kitchen in case Bucky’s fading nausea should rear its ugly head. 

Steve watched Bucky smile and look down at his belly, the baby must be moving. Steve had yet to be able to feel it, but Bucky could. Steve could admit he was just a little jealous, but he knew his turn would come soon. This was a much better drive to Brooklyn than the previous trip. This one was marked with sunshine and a lighter purpose. Everything Steve and Bucky had gone through was only bringing them closer. Steve felt better than he ever had in his life.

“You’re quiet, Stevie. What’s up?” Bucky asked with a satisfied smile, _a happy feeling good smile._

“Nothin’, just enjoying the view and the company.” Bucky’s beard had gone from scruff to full, much like Steve’s and Steve loved it. Loved the feel of it when he kissed Bucky, loved the look of it framing his beautiful eyes. According to Bucky it was his hormones fueling the growth. Steve didn’t care where it came from, as long as it stayed. 

“Oh,” Bucky answered. “Same here.”

“Baby movin’?”

Bucky features erupted in surprise. “How do you always know?”

Steve’s features softened and Bucky felt the warmth of that gentle look all the way to his limbs. 

“You’re so beautiful, Buck, every day, every minute. You just glow and Christ I know that’s a cliche and so stupid sounding but it’s true. Whenever you’re not sick you just look-”

“Happy,” Bucky interrupted. “I’m just so goddamn happy, Stevie. You make me happy. The baby makes me happy. _Us_...us makes me happy.”

Steve positively preened at Bucky’s words. “Us makes me happy, too, Sweetheart.”

“Well go on, I interrupted. What were you gonna say?”

“Naw, what you said, says it all,” Steve said, reaching for Bucky’s hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss, despite the fact that it was Bucky’s metal hand. 

“Stevie…” Bucky’s uttered, tone pleading. 

Steve was quiet for a minute and then said. “I was gonna say that when the baby moves I can tell because your whole face brightens...it’s like a clear night and there’s that one incredible shiny bright star. That’s your baby moving face.”

Bucky sat up a little straighter. Steve’s attentive words touched so deeply into his soul that he felt tears prickle behind his eyes. He had a lump in his throat he could not swallow. He couldn’t even come up with a witty reply to break the tension. He felt Steve squeeze his hand and it grounded him.

He looked over just as a tear slipped down Steve’s cheek. 

Steve sniffed before he said, “I love you very much, Bucky...so much and it just killed me to watch you be so sick. I’m over the moon that you can look that happy now.”

Bucky couldn’t even answer. He was desperately trying to swallow the boulder in his throat. 

Steve sniffed once more and let go of the wheel to wipe his face, still holding tightly to Bucky’s hand. “Annnd that’s enough of the Steve Rogers feelings dump. We are going to have a fun weekend and get you some clothes that will fit that belly of yours, huh, Buck?”

Bucky left the conversation where it was, the unspoken words of gratitude on his part for the loving care Steve had shown him when Bucky was at his grossest and still sometimes was. Bucky flipped their hands to leave several kisses to Steve’s hand this time before Steve reclaimed it to rub affectionately the belly of which he spoke. Bucky’s belly. Bucky’s growing belly that held their baby as tightly as Steve held his hand. 

***

Steve would not let Bucky carry a single bag. They walked along the shops that Bucky used to frequent when he lived in Brooklyn, hopping on and off the most confusing public transportation Steve had ever experienced. 

“Why do we have to go into Manhattan to go back to Brooklyn?” Steve asked when they had first started shopping.

“Believe me it’s just easier to do it this way,” Bucky had laughed, understanding Steve’s disbelief in the system. Bucky however, knew the trains like the back of his hand and they stopped at a few places in Williamsburg and Dumbo. 

While in Dumbo, they visited Jacques Torres chocolate shop and they got a box of mixed truffles and bonbons that Steve was sure would set Bucky’s nausea off but didn’t. Neither did the pizza they had back in Manhattan at one of the 47 Joe’s pizza places they encountered. 

“This is the best Joe’s pizza, Stevie. I’m not lying.”

“Buck, maybe we should take it easy a bit with the food and the shopping. We’ve got all weekend.”

“Steve, look around. It’s a beautiful day, I feel great, we’re having fun. At least I think we’re having fun. Are you having fun Steve?”

“Jesus, yes, I’m having fun…”

“But?” Bucky coaxed Steve to finish his thought.

Steve and his wrinkled forehead answered. “I just worry about how far we are and how little I know about how to get you home if you get sick. I just _worry_.

“I know, you do. You’re a sweet sweet alpha who worries, but you gotta let me have this. I need to own feeling this good today, even if I regret it tonight or tomorrow. Maybe it’s adrenaline or maybe I’m just moving past the morning sickness, but Stevie... today is a great day and we’re having a baby and I have shopping bags full of great clothes, and I just love the fuck out of you. Give it to me, _please_?”

They were standing at a high top outside the pizza place with their bags connected by Steve’s belt despite the fact that Bucky said no one would steal paternity clothing. Bucky watched Steve’s emotions play out on his face to finally relax and smile. 

“Okay, Buck, you win. I’ll relax and stop worrying.” He picked up his pizza and it flopped so he used two hands guiding the point of the slice into his mouth and taking a huge bite. “This is good fucking pizza.”

“Oh Jesus Steve, You don’t use two hands! What are you? An animal?”

“What? It’s floppy!”

“Look. Behold the flying V hold.” Bucky picked up his slice and formed the crust end into a v in his hand and the point of the pizza did not flop. He took a bite and said, “Voila! That is how you eat New York pizza. Now don’t embarrass me again.” 

Steve shook his head, devoured his pizza and got them both another slice. They stopped after two, Steve side-eying Bucky, pretending not to be worried, but actually being worried his sweet omega may become ill from the rich food. Also Steve might have been concerned that if Bucky didn’t need his food cut into little squares anymore, his active part in the pregnancy may have come to a close. It was silly really, but Steve had enjoyed doting over Bucky and making his meals into little morsels.

Bucky was on a feeling good high. It was so nice to not be worn down by constant nausea and he was gonna ride this current wave of feeling good as long as he could. He could tell Steve was worried Steve was a caretaker by nature, not a controller, and he liked being a part of Bucky’s daily needs. Of course Bucky never felt smothered by Steve, but he recognized that Steve liked to be needed. Steve was an alpha who liked to be needed by his omega. By _Bucky_.

Bucky leaned over and planted a kiss on Steve’s mouth that told the sweet alpha Bucky still needed him. When he pulled back, Steve smiled warmly and chased his lips for another, deepening it despite the fact that there were two other parties waiting quite closely for their table. 

Suddenly Bucky felt a familiar heat in his belly and a sensation that had not appeared in quite some time between his cheeks. He startled and grabbed for the bags.

“Let’s go, Steve. People are waiting for our spot.” 

Steve startled but got the bags first and asked, “You okay, Buck? You look spooked,” but Bucky was way ahead and Steve scrambled to catch up.

“I’m fine, everything’s fine,” he answered, still marching on with Steve trotting beside him. He repeated himself when he saw Steve’s concerned face. “Really, Steve. Everything is fine. I just- I was a little-”

“A little what? Jesus, Buck, are you sick? Hurting?” Steve was nearly shouting. This was his worst nightmare. He had no fucking clue how to get them home. Bucky was gonna start puking and oh Jesus, he had eaten all kinds of shit he could throw up. Steve had the backpack with one or two sick bags in it, but-

“Christ on a cracker, Steve, will you focus and listen to me!” Bucky was yelling. At Steve.

“What do you need me to do?” Steve answered trying to sound like he wasn’t about to have a conniption fit in downtown Manhattan. 

Bucky pulled him close and said in Steve’s ear, kind of breathy...a lot breathy, “I said, I’m not sick. I just felt that last kiss...like _felt_ it.”

“You felt the last kiss…” Steve repeated, clueless as the day was long. Bucky looked up at Steve through his lashes and nodded with a wicked smile. He was still kind of feeling it and then he watched as the lightbulb went off over poor Steve’s head.

“Oh... _ohhh, you felt it,”_ Steve said once more as the smile spread across his face as fast as the pink in his sweet cheeks. 

“Little slow on the uptake, there punk,” Bucky chuckled and slipped his hand into the elbow of one of Steve’s shopping bag laden arms, leading him to the next store. Getting their romance back would be welcome. Bucky had been so sick for what seemed like forever. The spark he felt when Steve kissed him put a little pep in his step and a slightly smug look on his face. 

Steve felt his face heat up when he understood what Bucky meant, it had been quite a dry spell. Steve would never have told Bucky how hopeful he was. Christ, Bucky felt bad enough that they had not been able to just fall into bed like they loved to do. Steve would not jinx it, though he could not suppress his soft smile. 

“Here we are,” Bucky said as he weaved between pedestrians to get them into the little shop. “They have the best selection of underwear and stuff.” 

The store was rather posh, but not stuffy. The staff spoke directly to Bucky, a welcome change, and they ushered Steve to a chair back by the dressing rooms, relieving him of his bags of Bucky’s treasures. They knew how to make things work. 

Discussions of what Bucky was looking for took place, it couldn’t be much more. Bucky had quite a collection of shorts and tees for the summer. He also had several pairs of jeans and a selection of shirts to get him through the chilly fall days until his due date, the 20th of October. He even had shirts that would allow him to nurse discreetly, though only a few for now. He said he would get more winter stuff later when the selection was better. 

“I’m pretty well set except for underwear, I like the kind that go below my belly, and nursing things. Do you still carry those great tanks?” Bucky carried on his conversation with the salesperson. 

Steve was trying to understand how underwear could go _below_ Bucky’s belly and still stay up when he heard one of the young clerks offer to help Bucky try on the under things he was looking to buy. 

“Ho! Hold up there just a sec. I’ll be doing any necessary helping with the...you know, trying on of things. Thanks, though,” Steve says leaping to his feet with a searing look to the young omega offering his assistance. Steve did not exactly snatch the tiny underwear from the stranger’s hands as he tenderly guided Bucky to a dressing room, hand on the small of Bucky’s back. 

Bucky looked shocked, but went along with him, waiting until the door snicked shut. “Steve, what has gotten into you?”

Clearing his throat, he answered, “What do you mean?”

“Bucky gave him a pointed look. You leapt over a table and grabbed the clothes from that guy.”

“Underwear. I took the _underwear_ from him. Did you actually expect me to let him come in here and help you while I sat in a chair out there?”

“The sales people helped me at the other stores.”

“They handed you clothing through the door and you were wearing boxers the whole time. This guy wanted to help you put _on_ the underwear. No uh uh, Buck.”

“Are you jealous, Steve?” Bucky smirked that smirk he always smirked when he was totally right. 

“What? No! Absolutely not. I-I’m protective. He was out of line for offering,” Steve retorted indignantly. He set his chin firmly, but could feel his face heating. So what if he was jealous of some guy who wanted to help Bucky with his underwear. You know what? He was god damn jealous of the guy, or any guy for that matter who showed any fucking interest in helping Bucky with his underwear. Especially since Bucky could feel things now. Things like kisses. So sue him…

Steve was so caught up in his possessive thoughts that he nearly missed the wry smile and smug look on his omega’s face. He glanced up not wanting to, but half knowing he might need to apologize and caught the tail end of that very face coming closer to him.

“James Buchanan Barnes Rogers,” he deadpanned.

He’d been played. He’d been once again played successfully by the omega who could play him like a piano and strike the very keys that he needed to in order to get his way. Steve had a love/hate relationship with the side of Bucky that could get him like this. No he didn’t. He had a love/love relationship with every molecule of Bucky and he chuckled that once again he’d been had. 

Bucky got right into Steve’s personal space, sealed their bodies from shoulders to hips and answered coyly, “What?”

Steve gave him the now frequently used eyebrow and Bucky asked, “How else was I going to get you alone in this little dressing room?”

Steve gripped Bucky’s shoulders and then rubbed up and down his arms, “You could have just asked?”

“Yeah, but now look, I’ve got you alone and a little riled up, just like I like you,” he replied with a kiss, and not a chaste one.

“Bucky!” Steve whisper warned. “We are in a store!”

“I know where we are, Steven Grant, I got us here. Just us, the two of us...all alone in this little room.”

“Shhh, there are people out there! They’re gonna hear you.”

Bucky had pulled back a little now and was running his hands all over Steve’s sinfully hot body. He kept his belly firmly against Steve’s, a move he knew would help him make some ground. He could tell Steve was aware of what was currently shaping up in Bucky’s jeans. Steve was in a pair of jeans himself, with a tight white tee and a lightweight flannel over the top. Bucky was in a pair of Steve’s jeans, his no longer fit at all, and a short sleeve floral button down, which barely disguised his growing belly. The new clothes would be welcome, but right now all he could think about was his alpha. 

“Not if I’m quiet…” the insinuation ratcheted up the tension quickly filling the room. When Steve didn’t budge, Bucky pouted and turned around to put on the first pair of underwear. Only in a high end omega store did you try on underwear. Steve wondered how they put it back on the shelves if someone tried it on. Steve was not going to lie, Bucky’s ass was a thing of beauty as he dropped his clothing to the floor and slipped those tiny little powder blue bikini looking underwear on in its place. Panties. They. Were. Panties.

“How do they even clean this stuff before-” his mouth went completely dry before he could finish his question because his sweet, pregnant omega had turned around and those tiny underwear fit just perfectly except for the tip of his very hard omega cock peeking out of the top of the waistband sitting just below the swell of his belly. 

It was too much and suddenly not enough. “C-can they hear us, fuck they have to smell us Buck, Jesus,” Steve said hands opening and closing in fists eager to grab his omega and help him out.

“This is a very discreet store, Stevie. Why do you think I picked it. I used to shop here all the time, but alone or with Becca. I could never bring- well anyway, they _understand_.”

Steve let out a soft whine and didn’t even remember hitting his knees. He kissed Bucky’s belly before freeing his trapped cock and giving Bucky the relief he wanted... _needed_. 

The sound Bucky made when Steve engulfed his cock into the heat of his mouth was far too loud. Steve put one finger to Bucky’s lips. Bucky responded with one nod and then Steve went to town giving Bucky the quickest and dirtiest blow job of his life. He was glad Steve had his boston hat on, he knocked it off and grabbed handfuls of hair to hang on for the wild ride. Practically on a hair trigger, it only took a couple of minutes before Bucky was coming, hard and fast in Steve’s mouth, wrecking the pair of underwear he had on with slick. 

Steve cleaned him up as best he could, thank god he had wipes and ziploc bags for the evidence. Bucky was in a state of bliss and needed to be snuggled in Steve’s arms until he gained his composure. Steve was rock hard but not interested when Bucky tried to reciprocate. 

“Bucky, baby,” and didn’t _that_ do something to Bucky, “I haven’t come in so long there would not be enough wipes in the world to clean us up after. It’s okay,” Steve explained with a series of sweet kisses to his lips, chin and neck. Ugh, Bucky wanted Steve’s knot. 

They left that store, handsy and with two more bags full of underwear and nursing tanks that Steve had lovingly helped him try on after what he called _measuring_ Bucky with his hands several times. Steve gave his credit card and a wicked wink to the very same salesperson who had earlier offered to help Bucky. The pink that appeared through Bucky’s beard was satisfying as Steve explained, loudly, the need for charging him for a pair that were not in the condition for being scanned properly. 

It was evident by the space they were given on the train ride back to Brooklyn that Bucky was entering a new phase in his pregnancy. That night as they lay in their nephews bed, one that Steve simply refused to allow a very pouty Bucky to even so much as touch him in, they both realized that not staying in a hotel had been a ridiculously stupid decision. 

They ended their visit with one more trip to see Winnie and after a goodbye lunch in the form of a tea party at Sadie’s request. They drove home, Bucky dozing most of the way and Steve singing along to the radio to stay awake. It had been a rather sleepless night for them both. 

They left the bags in the car and stripped out of their clothes before Steve threw Bucky playfully on the bed. Steve kissed his way up from Bucky’s toes and settled between Bucky’s thighs.

“You are the naughtiest omega ever, you know that?”

“Takes naughty to know naughty, alpha,” Bucky teased back as they began to kiss softly, slowly enjoying each other. 

Steve drew circles on Bucky’s sweet sensitive nipples with the tip of his nose, drawing whimpers before lavishing open mouth kisses to them both. “I’m so happy these are fair game again, Buck…” Steve’s breath coming quickly. “I missed the noises you make when I play with them.”

“Fuck, Steve...you know what else is fair game again?”

“I think I can guess…” Steve answered, framing Bucky’s face with his arms and bracketing him against the pillow. 

Bucky slowly raised his knees, Steve’s thighs slotting further between Bucky’s legs as they kissed languidly. “That’s it, sweet Bucky, gonna let me in?”

Bucky’s groan said it all and the cabin filled with the long missed scent of their arousal. Bucky locked his ankles behind Steve’s back pulling him in, encouraging Steve to bury himself in the wet warmth of his body. 

“Oh. Buck, I missed you, this part of us…” Steve said, biting the line of Bucky’s newly bearded chin. “Fuck, I want you, baby, ‘s it okay…’s been a while.”

“Come on alpha, take what you been missin’. Want you bad, wanted your knot in that store.”

It was all the encouragement Steve needed and he began to carefully pump his way into Bucky’s body, short thrusts, pulling back each time to ensure Bucky was fully wet and ready. 

Bucky’s eyes fluttered as Steve finally buried himself to the hilt in Bucky’s achy hole. “Yes, Steve, God, please fuck me now.”

Steve gave Bucky long luxurious strokes of his cock, slow, teasing, then firm and fast. Bucky let his knees fall to the sides, basking in the worship of Steve on his body. 

“Not gonna make it long, Sweetheart, sorry...been too long and you’re so damn hot and tight. Hardly fit, had to go slow to get in my sweet boy, huh?”

‘Uhhng, Stevie, give it to me...come on now…” Bucky begged hands roaming from Steve’s firm biceps and shoulders, down to grabbing encouraging handfuls of his alpha’s ass, hoping for his knot soon...eager for it...needing it.

“Give it to you? You want my knot, darlin’ sweet Buck. Gonna be big this time.” 

“Please…’m ready for it...need it...need you.” 

Steve was on the edge of losing eat, trying to remain in control of his body, be mindful of Bucky’s belly and the fact that it had been over two months since they’d shared their bodies like this, but Bucky was a whimpering mess beneath him, begging for his knot. Who was Steve to not satisfy this beautiful man under him, giving of himself for Steve’s pleasure so freely. 

He shifted his weight and pounded into Bucky, who moaned in appreciative response, relocking his ankles around Steve and rolling his eager hips in rhythm with Steve’s thrusts. 

When they came it was together, which was rare for them, Steve always saw that Bucky came first, and it was hard, blindingly so. Bucky’s thighs shook around Steve’s slim waist. Steve ground his knot home and locked his muscles and Bucky’s body clenched and milked all the pent up come from his aching cock. 

They were sweaty and panting into each other, clinging despite the fact that they were overheated and spent. Both were becoming over sensitive and began to laugh through the incredible aftershocks of their shared orgasm. It took forever for Steve’s knot to go down, both of them finally giving in and dozing. 

They passed the rest of the evening putting all of Bucky’s new clothes away and realizing that Bucky was probably past the worst of the first trimester and looking forward to what would come next. 

Steve had no idea how literal that thought was. But not to worry, Bucky showed him on the regular. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am putting up all of my christmas decorations today and as breaks I am writing the next chapter. I would like to finish this fic and move on to my new one. Also, I am binging Virgin River Season 2 but I do not believe I will incorporate any of the new show here. I do plan to add some additional chapters to this fic when I want to tell little stories that I remember about them. 
> 
> Hope you are all still with me...


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